


Tales of the Unknown Champions

by DeamonQueen



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Action/Adventure, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempts on Claiming, Claiming Bites, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rape, Romance, Souled Vampire(s), Vampire Family, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-06-01 21:22:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 93,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6536767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeamonQueen/pseuds/DeamonQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if there was more about the facts surrounding his cursed soul that Angel didn't know about? Just as he is gaining the full trust of the Slayer's trusted gang, and the love of the Slayer herself, three Vampires roll into Sunnydale and turn everything upside down; Spike, Darla and Drusilla. AU of BTVS season 2</p><p>Special thanks to my Betas <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/sunalso/pseuds/sunalso">Sunalso </a>, who helped me start this fic but had to stop because of personal problems, and to Spuffy516, for accepting being my new Beta for this fic. Couldn't have done it without them. And to all my readers for the wonderful reviews..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Destiny and a Curse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if there was more about the facts surrounding his cursed soul that Angel didn't know about? Just as he is gaining the full trust of the Slayer's trusted gang, and the love of the Slayer herself, three Vampires roll into Sunnydale and turn everything upside down; Spike, Darla and Drusilla. AU of BTVS season 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my Betas Sunalso , who helped me start this fic but had to stop because of personal problems, and to Spuffy516, for accepting being my new Beta for this fic. Couldn't have done it without them. And to all my readers for the wonderful reviews..

**Darla**

Extreme satisfaction. It was what I felt as I, along with my grandchilders, destroyed what remained of the gypsy clan that had taken my most beloved childe from me.

 

It was quite different from the contentment I'd been feeling a week earlier, when I had been lodging, along with my small vampire family, in a newly abandoned cottage on the outskirts of town. Abandoned, but only after we’d dined on its previous occupants. However, I concerned myself not with such miniscule details. What I had cared about was the dreadful feeling that came when my most beloved childe had yet to return from his hunting trip after nearly a week. I usually was not one to worry about such things, for I knew my Angelus could take care of himself, and most of the time he had reasons for not returning immediately to my side.

 

The last time he had done this had been when he made Drusilla. He had been gone for nearly five months during that time, spending nearly half a year to create his masterpiece. I had merely let him be, and found myself other entertainment until the he returned to my side.

 

This time was different though. I felt oddly worried, both for my childe, and for the reason of his prolonged absence. I would have gone to search for him if had it not for the other two vampires that I had been forced to watch over.

 

Angelus' two childers: Drusilla and William.

 

William was not technically Angelus', but had been created by Dru. My childe had been the one to pick up the slack from Drusilla though, for her mind had been too broken to teach her new toy our ways.

 

Now, as I was saying, the pair of them simply cannot be left by themselves, which was why I had been forced into the role of nursemaid.

 

Drusilla was insane, and William but a mere fledgling. True, they can handle themselves in battle when necessary, but I knew that if they were left to their own devices, they’d bring the whole village down upon our heads. They were trouble. Especially William.

 

The brat was arrogant, extremely impulsive, and ignorant to the ways of the world. He had a tendency to bring us attention when we should be avoiding it. He was always getting us chased away from town after town by angry mobs, simply because he always had to go and cause trouble in order to prove to himself, and everyone else, how strong he was.

 

I kept telling Angelus that we should just dust the fool- but no, my childe somehow found the boy amusing, and even I could admit he was very useful for keeping Dru entertained. So I always conceded in the end and let William keep his unlife.

 

But it didn't mean that I liked it.

 

There were times when I would begin to wonder if traveling with a vampire family was worth it. The responsibility in and of itself should have been enough to dissuade me. I liked having a good time and hated playing mother hen to three tempestuous childers- but here I was anyway, and the years flowed by like the water of a flood swollen creek. It was not like I did not enjoy my family's company, though I wouldn’t confess such even under pain of torture. It was this bond, which I had no name for, that kept me close to my two charges, even as fear for my own beloved childe ate at me day after day.

 

Only when Drusilla’s pained screaming filled the air one night, did I knew I had been correct in my feeling of dread for him.

 

"Gone! Gone! Daddy is gone! Taken from us by the nasty gypsies," she sobbed.

 

William had tried to console the poor girl, but it had been useless. When Dru was in that state, it was nearly impossible to get her out of it. Usually Angelus and I would've shocked her out of it with pain and violence, but I had not been in the mood to play such games.

 

No. I had been writhing in my own fury of my most beloved childe.

 

Revenge, hot and bitter. My demon had commanded the blood of the ones who had dared to take my childe from me. I would do nothing to stop it from reaping its revenge on the humans that had torn Angelus from me.

 

Such was the explanation for what was happening this night. It was why three demons had unleashed themselves upon a defenseless and worthless clan of gypsies. I reveled in the destruction me and my kin caused. I did not care to even taste the blood of my insignificant victims. I had concentrated on simply killing them in the most painful ways I could imagine. I told both my charges to leave no one alive. The field that was once where the gypsy's camp stood now bathed in blood. The bodies of its inhabitants lay strewn on the ground like so many broken toys. We left nothing alive, and what was left we burnt to the ground.

 

After the massacre, me and my charges stood at the top of a hill that overlooked the entire camp, watching as the flames lit up the dark night sky. Despite having my revenge against the ones who took my childe completed, I still felt the raw pain of losing Angelus, as well as an uncontrollable rage that hadn’t been quenched by the destruction we’d caused. I kept silent though, not wanting to make Drusilla, who had begun crying again for the loss of her Daddy, feel any worse. William seem to be doing better than the two of us. Oh, I could tell that he is also dealing with Angelus' loss, but he simply looked angry, as he coaxed Dru through her tears. His voice was still gentle as he talked to the girl, but his stance belied the calm nature of the words; his body was rigid, his jaw tensed, and there was a look in his eyes that said how furious he was at what had happened.

 

Angelus was like the boy's sire, and he had personally trained William to follow in his footsteps. And although William never liked doing what he was told, he still did listen to Angelus, on at least a few occasions, about the important things that he needed to learn as a vampire. I also knew for a fact that he looked up to my childe, and even dreamed of one day surpassing him. Now, that dream was just so much dust in the wind, as Angelus was no more. 

 

At least that was what I thought that night as I watched the wagons and tents burn.

**(O.O)**

 

We were on our way back to the abandoned cottage after a hunt, two nights since our attack on the gypsy clan, when it happened.

 

Suddenly I felt an unbearable ache in my chest, it sharpened and I screamed in agony. I saw a white glow but I couldn't determine if it was coming only from me or from my two companions as well. Next thing I knew I was kneeling on the grass, tears running from my eyes. I knew this emotion, that was coursing through my undead heart. It was an emotion I had not felt for a very long time.

 

Guilt.

 

What had caused me to feel it again, I did not know, but I knew why I felt it. Nearly three centuries of evil, and suddenly seeing, knowing and remembering it all right then and there was enough to drown me in an uncontrollable avalanche of guilt. I began sobbing, clutching the fabric over my chest as if it could somehow help ease the pain.

 

I do not know how long I was there, kneeling on the grass, crying my eyes out, only that it was long enough for dawn to creep up on me. I could  feel the prickle at the back of my neck that signaled the near rising of the sun. I wanted to stay where I was and let the sun take me and end this disgusting, pathetic, and miserable existence. I wanted kill the monster I was, but something stopped me.

 

I raised my head and, for the first time since the guilt started consuming me, I looked at my charges.

 

Dru was also on her knees but she was hugging herself, rocking back and forth, and weeping softly, all the while whispering apologies to the wind.

 

William, on the other hand, was sitting on the grass, one arm hugging his knees, while the other was clutching his curly hair. He too, like Dru, was crying. He shook, and mumbled to himself in voice so low even with my enhanced hearing could not pick up, though I could have sworn the word repeated more frequently than anything else, was mother. 

 

Obviously whatever had affected me, had affected them as well, but it seemed they were even worse off than me. I had at least realized sunrise was imminent. Watching them be in such terrible pain stirred another dead emotion within me. I felt the strange need to comfort the two, which was ridiculous.

 

As a vampire I did not provide succor to others. Only William did that with his darling Drusilla- and, and- I needed to be comforted myself. I was in extreme pain, but the need to reach out and take care of my family was greater.

 

I could not understand why this was so. Not at that moment at least.

 

Dawn was coming, and if the three of us did not leave we would surely be dust. A part of me wanted that to happen, to just end everything, but another part of me was nagging for me to move my family, to keep them safe from the deadly rays of the sun. Again, the feeling confused me, but that part of me won the debate.

 

I gingerly stood up and walked towards my two companions.

 

"Get up," I ordered hoarsely, "Moring is nearly here and we need to get back to the cottage before the sun finds us."

 

"I see nothing horrible about that," William said, his old upper class British accent had returned, something which he had abandoned since his turning.

 

"He is right," Dru whispered, "Burn. Burn. Burn. We all deserve to burn. The spark was returned to us, burning us inside. Dirty. Filthy. 'Tis was not what father planned for me."

 

I knew it was a lost cause to persuade the two when they had so obviously given up like this. Hell, even I felt like joining them, but once again that nagging sensation inside of me grew stronger. I did not want these two to die. Not like this. Since they left me little to no choice I used the underhanded technique of using my demon to control theirs.

 

Calling it forth, I barked at the two to stand and follow me. Though reluctant at first, the call of my superior demon won, and slowly they both stood and left with me. Racing against the sun we hurried towards the cottage, getting there just in time before the first break of light hit our sensitive skin. I hurriedly ushered them both inside and, as I slammed and locked the door, a feeling of relief washed over me. But it was short lived for upon seeing the inside of the cottage that feeling immediately vanished and was replaced by one that broke my unbeating heart.

 

The house's walls reeked of death. Flashbacks of what we did to the family came back to me in full force. I suddenly remembered how I had sent William to beg the mother of the house for refuge from the stormy night. Then how we immediately slaughtered the poor woman, who’d unknowingly granted us entry to her home. I could still hear her screams as William drained her life, and see how’d I carelessly threw her husband into the wall, breaking his neck instantly, after he’d tried and failed to save his wife. Their daughters' cries from when we broke open their bedroom door and drug the two of them out echoed in my ears. I remembered watching and chuckling as Angelus violated the eldest while my fangs were buried in the other sister's neck. I could see Dru carrying the crying baby of the house by his feet like one of her dolls, then smashing him to the wall, splattering the blood on her wet dress. She had lapped up the mess she’d made with her tongue and sent shivers down my cold flesh.

 

I felt sick and started regretting my decision to come back to this place. The guilt was threatening to drown me once more, but it only lasted until I heard William and Dru crying beside me. Again, I was surprised at the strange feeling of protectiveness I felt, hearing the distress of my family. I took the two into my arms and let them sob against me.

 

Giving comfort. It was a strange thing for me to do, considering what I am, but somehow it felt right. So I did not question my actions, at least not yet, and continued what I was doing. I held the two younger vampires until sleep finally settled over them.

 

Sitting on the floor, with Dru and William sleeping in my arms, was another strange experience. Until this day, we’d only ever touched each other in passion, be it sexual or violent, yet somehow holding them like a mother gave me a certain feeling of peace and contentment I’d never known. The guilt ebbed away, for at least that moment, and I knew peace.

 

**(O.O)**

 

I had awoken just as the final light of day disappeared. I reached for my two charges, only to find them missing. I immediately stood, fearing what stupidity the two might have done while I was sleeping. I searched the entire cottage, but I found no traces of them inside.

 

Panic bagan to set in. Scenarios played in my mind of what could have happened to the two, none of them good. The most likely one was one that they had decided to finish off what they'd been planning earlier and ended their existence in the sun.

 

The mere thought of my darlings turning to dust, caused something inside me, that I never knew was there, to erupt. I mourned their loss, and it was different to how I had mourned Angelus' passing. I mourned them in the way a mother would mourn a child.

 

 _Children_.

 

When had I started thinking of them as my children?

 

I hadn’t even realized it until now. Before, I’d always thought of the two as a nuisance that Angelus refused to destroy. Somehow, over the years, the two had grown on me in a way that ran deeper than I cared to admit, at least up until now. Perhaps it was because of whatever was causing me to be overrun with guilt that had opened my uneating heart to feel such things towards them. It could be causing other emotions to kindle. Emotions that had died after my turning, but now threatened to overwhelm me.

 

I couldn’t seem to cry myself out. The pain and sobbing wouldn’t end. I was on my knees on the floor of the filthy cabin, my hands over my eyes as if I could keep the tears in that way. I was so focused in my agony that I did not notice the door opening. It was the sound of it slamming closed that startled me out of my trance.

 

"So you're awake," William said, his voice hoarse and hollow. Dru was standing beside him, her arms hugging her slim figure as she tried to look as small as possible.

 

"Where in hell have you been?" I snapped, "Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?"

 

"Worried? You? Since when? You never worry about Dru and me," the boy bitterly pointed out.

 

I was not surprise at what he said. It was the truth, I’d barely given any thought about the two of them up until now. And again I blamed the change on whatever thing was inside of me, causing me to well up with emotions that had long been dead. I could not help but feel them as they washed over me like waves on the sand.

 

I walked closer to the two, trying to hide the turmoil inside me. I could tell that William was wary at my approached, because of the way he held Dru closer to him.

 

"You're right, I never used to care much about you two," I told him. "But for some unknown reason,  I couldn’t bare it when I found you gone. I did worry, and I still do." I could feel tears sliding down from my eyes. "But I am also so relieved and happy that you two are alright."  I took the two of them into my arms for that second time that day, crushing them against me in relief.

 

I could feel William tensing at my touch, but he did not shove me off, so I took it as a good sign and tightened my embrace, my face buried in Drusilla’s dark hair.

 

"We're sorry grandmum," I heard Dru whisper, making me let go of them to take a good look at the girl. She stared at me with the most lucid look I had ever seen from her, and it made me realize that perhaps whatever happened to us could have fixed Dru, or at least made her less insane. "Me and my Spike thought of dusting ourselves." Fear entwined around my heart again upon hearing those words. Unaware of my fear, Dru continued, "But the stars told me otherwise."

 

"Stars? You had a vision, Dru?" I asked, forcing my distress back down.

 

"Yes. The clearest one I ever had. They showed me the bad that is to happen, and our important roles in keeping it from coming to pass."

 

"What is coming Dru?" I asked, dreading the answer.

 

"The end of time."

**(O.O)**

 

A few hours after my conversation with Drusilla about what she had seen, that included the newest path I and my small family were being asked to transverse, all of us can be found riding in a carriage leaving Romania. I had paid for our ride, instead of threatening the driver like I usually did, with money from the Aurelian savings. The coin might be drenched in blood, but it was not by my hand and would seemed my soul had less of a problem with this pesky detail. In fact, it did not have much problem with a lot of things, except for the killings that I had done over the years.

 

The fornication and theft I did while soulless weighed nothing on me, which wasn't all that surprising, since I had done all those things when I had been alive. The only thing that the soul gave me, besides the guilt of killing thousands, were the new emotions of love and care, along with a strange form of protectiveness, towards Dru and William. All the emotions I associated with motherly instincts had come back to me with the soul.

 

My soul.

 

Among the things Dru had told me was that the three of us had been cursed with souls by a survivor of the gypsy clan we had destroyed only a few days ago. I should feel angry at the man, or woman, who had cursed me and made me feel so human. But I didn't. I simply did not want to.

 

In fact, if anything, I was grateful of them. Without a soul, I was nothing but a demon that wanted only to feed, cause pain to others, or fulfill its sexual desires. I had had no goals, no dreams, no purpose, no life. I’d been truly dead, letting my demon have free rein. I’d felt nothing. I never wanted to be that empty again. So yes, I was grateful of the gypsies who cursed me. Can't say that Dru and William felt the same, at least not yet, but I would try to help them cope and find peace. Angelus may have been my childer, but he was never my child. He’d been more of a companion to my empty undead existence rather than to the woman inside.

 

When I’d been alive I’d been told I’d be barren, Angelus had been an attempt to defy that. A sad attempt. Yes, I had wanted to be a mother. It had been a dream of mine when my heart still beat. I wanted to teach my children things only mothers could teach, to be there for them when they got hurt, to make them smile when they were sad, to be their whole world until the time would come when it was their turn to have children of their own. My dream had been stolen from me, and now my new soul made me realize that I still craved it, even as an undead creature of the night.

 

With William and Dru I could be what I wished to be. I could be their guide and protector. I would make them smile again, and be there for them when the need to cry arose. I would be there for them, like a mother for her children, like what I had secretly always wanted to be.

 

Again I was grateful to those gypsies. I cared not as much for the so called destiny that the future was dragging us towards, but I would do it. For Dru and William, I would do anything. Like a mother I would love and support them, no matter what time held for us.

 

I leaned my head against the carriage window, and watched the dust from the horses’ hooves fade behind us in the moonlight. 

 

 

 

**TBC**

 

 

 

**(O.O)**

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for reading this is my second BTVS fic. It's from a challenge, by the way, that I read from an official Spuffy site Elysian Fields. Anyway if Darla may seem a bit too OCC to you please understand that I wrote her like that because I wanted to show a side of Darla that wasn't explored. I saw its potential when she sacrificed herself for Connor, and I think that because of what she did she had a good potential of being a mother. I mean if she was willing to kill herself with only half a soul in her, what more if she had a whole one that truly belonged to her? So yeah, this is how I wrote her. I'll be switching to different POVs in each chapters to portray the other vampires, Dru and Spike. And I will most definitely will be including Buffy in this fic. Hehe. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Thank you for reading and please review. Because reviews make me want to write.


	2. Misadventures in Prague

**(O.O)**

**Drusilla**

 

They were arguing again, Grandmummy and my Spike, in the room outside my own. I could hear them through the door. They always argued with each other, always disagreeing about the small things, but this fight was more heated than the usual ones about towels, or gloves, or kippers. I could hear stuff breaking in the other room.

 

But don't you worry, I knew they weren’t killing each other. They were most likely just using the furniture as an outlet to release their frustrations, again. They did that sometimes.

 

A century and some-odd years we've spent together, I believe I can say that I knew my family well enough to tell what they were doing, even when I wasn’t in the same room. Broken chairs meant it was probably a row about what happened in Czechoslovakia. I mean the Czech Republic, or whatever they were calling it now.  I missed the Austro-Hungarian empire, they’d had nice hats, they did.

 

It wasn't very long ago when the two of them had had to rescue me from a horrible mob.  A very large group of very angry citizens of in the city of Prague. I liked it there, before that. The city was pretty and my pixies had such wonderful stories to tell about the place. Yet I find it strange, why their people had come after us despite the fact we had just prevented the destruction of their lovely city, only a few days before.

 

Well, maybe it wasn’t that strange, since as usual my Spike was to blame. He was always the reason why people came after us, both before and after we got our souls back. Though this time, unlike before, he hadn’t set them off by killing someone. Nope, it wasn’t like that at all. In fact, it was because he had saved a girl that that the good citizens of beautiful Prague had decided to take up their pitchforks to try to kill us.

 

So ungrateful! And people had the audacity to call ME insane.

 

William had gone out his way rescue a sweet young girl from a group of thieves and ruffians. If he hadn’t, she would no longer be so sweet, nor so innocent. He had jumped into the middle of the gang of thugs, so angry that he’d forgotten to pull his punches and had sent them flying this way and that.

 

I was there, you see, and I really enjoyed watching the fight. It made me laugh to see one after the other of these horrible men, who thought they were so tough, go tumbling to the ground like ragdolls.

 

Such a funny sight that was!

 

Afterwards, when we had believed that all was well and William had defeated the thieves with no casualties besides a few broken bones, which they’d deserved, there wasn't anything that should've warranted retaliation. Fate, however, had other plans, and she was working against us that night.

 

During the fight with the gang, one of the thieves had shaken off a punch and had come after William from behind with a nasty sharp knife. William hadn’t had time to evade the attack, and when the knife hit him, his demon came forth in pain making the stupid, ugly man piss trousers. He had then called my dear William a monster and ran away from us like the coward that he was. He had left the blade embedded in William’s back. I tried to go and help William, but he had pulled it out by himself, with a grunt and a shower of blood before I’d even been able to take three steps. He tossed the knife at my feet, his pride still intact.

 

"Foolish childe, " I had thought of him back then, and made a face as I pulled off my scarf to conceal the gaping wound. We didn't want to attract unwarranted attention after all.

 

The few remaining ruffians had scattered after seeing what they’d been fighting, but not the girl they’d been attacking. She just stood there, swaying, either too scared or too stupid to run.

 

"Hide your beast, my Spike.” I had whispered urgently to him. “Mustn't let the poor girl be any more frightened than she already is. Miss Edith would be cross if we forgot our manners.”

 

William had quickly changed his face back to its human visage, shame in his eyes. He never liked it when he loses control of his demon, though truthfully that rarely happened. But instead of lingering on his mistake,  he focused his attention on the girl. He had turned and bent down to address her, saying she was safe and asking if she was alright. The girl was shaken, but not harmed. Like most that had never before seen the supernatural, she was full of questions, and as we’d walked her home she became less and less afraid, and more and more curious about us.

 

Don't you find it strange how humans find wonder in the darkness of our world? I do, because I never understood what would make beings like us so fascinating to them. I blame those horrid vampire fiction novels for it, they had altered the truth about everything. Nasty, stupid little things.

 

Anyway, going back, it had been a relief to drop the girl and her questions off in here home, with a strict warning to not be out alone at night ever again, and then we had returned to our hotel and retired for the evening.

 

We had all thought that’d be the end of it, but it was only the next night when the door had started rattling under the pounding of a fist. I was alone, and terrified, William and grandmummy were away, you see. They went out to haunt the remaining demons who tried to destroy the city, leaving me alone that night, unknowingly forcing me to deal with the crowd outside.

 

There were many angry men, baying like hounds for our blood, they barked for the monsters to come out and show themselves.

 

In Prague the truth was everywhere, on statues and seals. _Pravda vítězí,_ they said, 'truth prevails'. Only not that night, and not with those men with their knives and guns and clubs- and THEY had had the nerve to call us MONSTERS.

 

I tell you, we hadn’t done anything wrong, but they believed we did. False accusations, that was!

 

You see, a few days before a clan of FracTi're demons had tried to create a portal that would have sucked the entire city and all its many inhabitants off the map and into a dimension of endless fire and torment. The demons had murdered and mutilated fifteen women, posing them grotesquely around the square in preparation for its ritual. My family and I had stopped the demons just in time, but the only thing the grieving men had seen was us, standing over the bodies of their loved ones. We were blamed for what happened, so we had fled the scene, packing up our few belonging and moving to the other side of city. We could've left the city but we were not sure that we had slayed every last one of these nasty demons, so we stayed in Prague, just until we were a hundred percent certain.

 

Had we left the city, none of this would've happen. But instead we stayed and had kept a low profile for days, making sure we didn't get recognized as we scourged the city for the demons we sought. I had been certain that we did an excellent job at it. We made no mistakes, until last night, when William saved that girl.

 

From the room’s tiny window, I had seen the girl we had saved, along with two of the thieves, who were worse for wear, standing amongst the crowd of angry people. They must've been the ones who had told about us. One of the gang must've followed us home the night before, wthout our notice.

 

Hey, don't blame us, our thoughts were very occupied back then. William had been hurting and I’d been too busy trying to keep my scarf in place to hide the wound to notice being tailed.

 

But I still knew it had been a foolish mistake on our part. A mistake that I would be dealing gravely.

 

The mob had kept banging at the door, but when I refused to open it, they had broken it down and I’d been drug out by my hair kicking and screaming. I had tried to fight them, I really did, but I couldn't defeat them without bloodshed. The vows that I had made when I had been alive may have meant nothing upon my turning, but the vow I’d made on the night my soul was returned to me, to never kill humans again, was sacred. I’d dust before breaking it.

 

So they had taken me, had hurt me, had done unspeakable things to me. I kept forgetting where and when I was, that I had started begging Angelus to stop, to leave me alone and that I’d be his good girl if he did. The men had only laughed at me, and then hurt me some more.

 

It was horrible, painful, and had brought back memories I still try to hide. The pixies were silent back then and I found no solace.

 

There wasn’t much left of me when Grandmummy and Spike finally found where the men had taken me. They had cried and cried over my broken and battered body, but I was all out of tears by then.

 

**(O.O)**

We’d left the Czech Republic right after that. I didn’t even get to say good-bye to the pretty parts of Prague, but I’ll never forget the ugly ones.

 

So now we sat in hotel rooms in Paris, or Geneva, or Brussels, and they argued. Grandmummy blamed Spike for what happened, and though he held himself responsible as well, he didn’t like it when Grandmummy scolded him about it again and again, so they fought .

 

They clashed, while my body didn’t heal. No amount of pig’s or cow’s or even human's blood would help. Even now I felt the burns from the holy water the men had poured over, and in, me.

 

I moaned and cried. It hurts. The pixies said I wouldn’t survive this, not without my Daddy's help. But Daddy is dead. I keep on telling them that, but they wouldn’t listen. Why wouldn't they listen? Why won't they keep quiet? I am in pain, yet they keep whispering in my ears, not letting me sleep. Nasty, nasty pixies! Ms. Edith is cross!

 

I then heard the door opening, and Grandmummy entered my room.

 

"Hello my sweet, how are you feeling?" She asked as she knelt down next to my bed.

 

"It still hurts all over, grandmummy. Where's my Spike?" I asked her, despite the fact I already knew the answer.

 

"He went out to get some blood for you, my sweet," she said gently as she caressed my hair.

 

I always loved it when Grandmummy started acting this way. She reminded me of my lost, human mum: Evelyn Joyce Mallard. After what Angelus did to me, I had lost nearly all the memories of my family, but not her. Her name was a litany I said every night, so I wouldn’t forget. She was the kindest and gentlest person I had ever known. She was the only one in my family who had accepted my gift of sight, and she’d told me not to be afraid of it. She'd comforted me when the visions had become too overwhelming. She'd given me hugs, and would brush my long hair with her hands. She was special. So it wasn't a surprise that it had broken my heart when she had died of pneumonia when I was eight, but I was fiercely glad that she had, when Angelus had killed the rest of my family, when I was eighteen. I was so happy that he had not gotten her because was not worthy to meet her.

 

I had really, really loved my mum and missed her with all my soul. So it made me very happy when Darla started acting like her. Grandmummy didn't really do everything like mum did, of course, but she did enough. I knew for a fact she thought of us as her children, and cared and loved us as such. She would be willing to die for us, even for my William. It's strange that her soul gave her back her motherly instincts, while mine merely gave me back my mind. At least some of it, anyways.

 

It’s not a blessing, I assure you. Having my sanity back is the worst torture that I had to experience. I saw things clearer than before, and not just in my visions, but everything I had done over my time as a vampire. I could see it all. It would get worse when I closed my eyes. I was unable to unsee a single evil thing I had done, or that had been done to me. The movie of my damnation played unceasingly behind my eyelids.

 

After I had been turned, the twisted evil of Angelus had seemed unimportant, and I had shoved it from my mind. He was my creator after all, and I owed him everything.

 

But then the soul brought it back. The mind games, the torture, the murder, and the rape that’d happened while the bodies of my holy sisters lay cooling nearby and beneath me. It brought all the horrors back, but this time I couldn't escape them as I had back then. I now care about what had happened, and my mind wasn't as fragile as it had been so it didn't break under all those images and memories.

 

"Bad Daddy. It's all your fault. Doing all those nasty things to me. No cakes for bad little boys that break their playthings," I angrily said in my mind.

 

I'm so mad at him, and sometimes wish I could still hurt him, to make him suffer for not only hurting me, but abandoning me when I needed him most. But I can't. Daddy was dead. I’d felt him leave us in Romania, and also William said that he was, and so did Grandmummy, but not the pixies. No, the pixies whisper nasty lies again. They tell me Daddy was alive. They'd sent me visions of him lying in the dark alleys chasing icky rats, and him standing deep below the waves on a submarine, I also see him hiding in a hotel room much like we were.

 

It was all so confusing. I don't know what to make of it. I felt myself shiver. But then a strong hand took my trembling one, taking me away from my thoughts and putting me back in the present.

 

"Dru, sweetling, are you hurting?" Grandmummy asked sensing my distress.

 

"I need my Daddy.” I whimpered. “The pixies tell me so. But they lie. They lie because Daddy is dead. Is he not, grandmummy?"

 

I saw a glint in her eyes, but I could not tell what it meant. Her fingers tightened around mine, and her eyes stared intently at me. Then they softened as she talked to me.

 

"Sleep my Dru. Don't think about what those damn sprites say. They lie. Angelus is no more, of that I can assure you, but I believe I now know of a way to help you.” She smoothed the hair back from my forehead.  “Rest. And at sundown we leave for the states, to Sunnydale in California. I heard there is an active Hellmouth there, perhaps it's mystical and magical properties can help heal you."

 

She kissed my head and tucked me under the sheets tighter before leaving me on my own again.

 

I wanted to stop her, to tell her not to take us to the mouth of hell, because I saw what will happen to my family once we get there. Grandmummy would die there by her own hand, and my Spike will not be mine anymore, he will belong to the sunshine, and Dru will be left all alone.

 

Only I couldn’t say anything. All of it was destined, it’d all been written in the stars the moment our souls had been returned to us. It was the reason I, and by extension William, had not walked out to greet the sun that first morning. A selfish part of me still wished that we had, because I’m tired of hurting, and I knew there was only more pain awaiting me in my future. It had been so much easier to just be evil.

 

Anyway, it was time to sleep now, and I'm so tired. As I laid deeper on my pillow, I wondered what treats I should have with my tea tonight. Hmm, I couldn’t wait. Miss Edith was excited too. Good night, or should I say good day? Hmm, it doesn’t matter, I was sleepy either way. Stupid pixies, they were always talking to me in my sleep.

 

Ahh, it still hurts.

 

I need to sleep.

 

Sleeping now...

 

 

 

**TBC**

 

 

**(O.O)**


	3. Banishment of an Angel

**(O.O)**

**Darla**

America. I had never expected to come back here, and I had never wanted to. Not since I left the Master's side for the last time. I would have been content to never see its vast plains, craggy mountains, and sprawling cities ever again, but the cure for my Drusilla was here. I might have told her we were going here because of the hellmouth, but in her visions that she relayed to me, I'd seen the truth.

 

Angelus. Another thing I had not been expecting. Nearly a century of avoiding him, and now I had the irony of needing his help to save my Dru.

 

The memory of the last time I saw Angelus was not a pleasant one. It had been in China at the turn of the century, during the Boxer Rebellion. The three of us: Dru, William and I, had been at the time pursuing a clan of Grak'sh demons. They were fiends of chaos that fed on destruction and havoc, leaving nothing but crushed bodies and devastation in their wake.

 

Dru and William had gone ahead of me to scout out where the nest might be hiding, while I tried to secure us a base of operations in midst of the chaos that was Beijing. It was the wrong time to be a foreigner in China, and I was nearly beside myself with worry for my two charges.

 

Angelus had simply appeared out of the shadows in front of me on a narrow side street, nearly startling me out of my skin. I’d had to put my hands on him, running my fingers over his beloved face, making sure he was solid, before I’d been able to believe that he was really there. He was dirty and unkempt, but he was my Childe. He begged for me to help him, and to make him part of the family again. It was obvious to me what was wrong with him. He had a soul.

 

At first I had been ecstatic to find out that my Childe had been alive for all this time, and was even happier that he had been returned to me. I had so many questions. What had happened to him? Where had he been for the last two years? And why had he only now returned?

 

"I was cursed with a soul, Sire, as a punishment by the gypsies whose beloved daughter I had defiled and killed," he said, confirming my suspicions and answering some of my questions. It seems that the return of his soul had felt the same as if he had died to the sensitive Dru thus making us believe that he had died that night.

 

But my happiness to see him subsided, and no sooner afterwards common sense returned to me, this was Angelus my evil childe who just had his human soul, his adulterous and drunkard human soul, returned to him. What had he been doing for the last two years while he was away from us? And why had he only now decided to return? These questions immediately came to me.

 

He had answered by giving me a long and detailed story of his experience as we hid in the dark of a city on fire. His tale was mostly about how the guilt had consumed him, how he had wanted to dust himself, but couldn’t out of a fear of where his soul would go after his death.

 

I had found it hilarious that out of the four of us, the once mighty Whirlwind, that Angelus was the only one who cared that he'd end up in hell when he dusted. William, Drusilla, and I had already made peace with this as an immutable truth we could not change and would come upon us when our time came.

 

Angelus had continued his tale, telling me how he’d realized that all those crimes he’d committed while he’d been without a soul were not his fault at all, but belonged solely to the demon. His words disturbed me. They reminded me too much of the drunk whoremonger of a human that he’d been, always putting the blame for his actions on booze or untrustworthy friends. He further explained to me that this understanding was what had spurred his return to us, his family, in hopes that we could help him expunge the soul so that he could return to a life of anarchy and bloodshed with us. He wanted the fun with no consequences.

 

I wondered what kind of rock he’d been living under to not know that we’d now be that last creatures on earth that would help him free his demon.

 

It terrified me to even think that Angelus had not changed at all, even with the soul burning inside him. When I’d first felt the spark in my own chest, I had believed its presence had made me human again. I knew better now. The soul was just a light, illuminating what had always been there inside us.

 

For Angelus, its significance meant very little to him because unlike William and Dru, Liam had been a bastard as a human, and it seemed he’d carried that straight into death. For the first time I caught myself regretting him as the one I had chosen to be my Childe. His easy dismissal of all the deaths he had caused, claiming them to belong only to the demon, angered me beyond belief. It was not right.

 

He was not right.

 

I had made a monster. And I believe that it fell unto me the responsibility to correct that mistake, even if it tore me apart to do so. I had to protect William and Dru, were he to stay with us his influence on them would be too great. He’d have their minds twisted around to his way of thinking before the day was out.

 

"You truly wish to join us again, my Childe?" I asked him, approaching him with my hips swinging, my head tilted coquettishly to the side. He had nodded slowly in response, watching me. "You're telling me that despite the soul you’re carrying, you’d be willing to kill humans?" I walked my gloved fingers up his chest, then caressed his cheek.

 

"If’n that be yer wish, Sire." His voice was rough, the Irish accent he hated so much breaking through.

 

"And what if my wish was for you to kill yourself, would you still be willing to do what I asked?"  I slapped him, my voice cold.

 

He looked shocked, my betrayal reflected in his eyes. I couldn’t blame him. Before my soul, he had been mine as I had been his. I had abandoned my own Sire for him. In his world he could not imagine me rejecting him.

 

"Ye would ask that of me?" It was barely a whisper. His own callused hand pressed over the welt I had left on his cheek.

 

In that instant I had made the mistake of looking up into his face and seeing the raw emotions there, all the confusion and desolation. It broke my undead heart. My soul may have permitted me to view William and Dru as my own children, but my demon would forever see Angelus belonging to me. For the first time since the curse, I felt torn between the soul and the demon. The human and the beast. One wanted to destroy the being in front of me, while the other wanted nothing but to reclaim what was rightfully hers, and protect it to the end of time.

 

In the end I had had to compromise. I couldn’t kill Angelus, but I couldn’t let him stay with us either.

 

I squared my shoulders, knowing what I had to do, but not liking it.

 

"No, my Childe, I would never ask that of you." Relief had flooded his face. "However, I would never ask for you to kill another for me again, either." I forced my veins to become ice. My words confused him, I could see it. "What I will ask of you, boy, is to leave my side. I never want to see your pathetic, repulsive, souled self ever again."

 

"But Sire-” Tears were gathering in his eyes. It nearly crushed me.

 

"Leave, Angelus! I don't want you or your worthless soul near me, William or Drusilla!" I slammed my fist into him, knocking his unresisting body backwards.

 

Once he recovered, he had stared at me with so much hurt and bewilderment that I had had to turn my back on him or risk losing my resolve.

 

I started to walk away, then stopped and looked one last time back over my shoulder at him. "Don't ever let me see you again, or I will dust your pathetic ass."

 

He had done as I had asked. From that day to this, I had not seen him once. Of course, I had kept an ear out for him over the years, which is why I always knew where he was and what he was doing.

 

I knew that he spent most of the last century awash in self-pity, and that in 1943 he got caught up in the American war effort, but that afterwards he went straight back to wallowing and brooding.

 

It was only recently that something had happened.  He had somehow gotten involved with the current Slayer in Sunnydale, which was why I now found myself on a ship sailing into New York harbor. The buildings were taller than I remembered, the lights brighter. Like so many that had arrived this way I carried hope with me, but it was tempered by a healthy dose of fear at seeing Angelus again.

 

I had done badly by my Childe, I could see that now. I had abandoned him in his time of need. Back then all I’d thought I’d only been worried about was my charges, but now I could admit that I’d also been afraid for myself. Around him my demon awoke and fought back against its chains. I hoped I’d be stronger now. I also hoped that my rejection of him then would not bear poisoned fruit, and lead to him to turning his back on Drusilla. I couldn’t lose her. Whatever it took, whatever apologies Angelus needed, I would not be too proud to give. Even if he asked for my dust, I would gladly give it. It’s what any mother would do.

 

I watched the Statue of Liberty as we sailed by, a welcome to those coming to the New World. My Childe calls himself Angel now, and in that, I find hope that he'd live up to his namesake.

 

 

 

**TBC**

 

 

 

**(O.O)**


	4. On Our Way to SunnyHell

**(O.O)**

 

**Spike**

Bloody buggering hell!

 

I knew we should've taken my Desoto instead of this hunk of junk that Grandmum calls a van. At least my baby didn't sound like the engine was about to fall out or look like the rear bumper was held on by a thread. Plus, I had a thing for breaks that worked every time you stepped on them. Why was I stuck driving this rusty piece of soddin’ crap? Oh yeah, because my bitch of a Great-Grandsire had laid down the law. She’d decided we needed to blend in with the small town American crowd, not stick out like sore thumbs and get people’s suspicions all riled up.

 

Well, newsflash you stupid bint! A rusty old van with black painted windows tended to get people's attention no matter what! I don’t know how having a well maintained classic car would have made it any bloody worse.

 

We were driving across one of the flat states. It was boring as heck. Nothin’ on the radio but fire and brimstone preachers and country music. The latter was better than silence, but I had the volume down real low so as not to disturb my family as they napped. The sun was out and I couldn’t even crack the damned window unless I wanted to be vampire flambé.

 

Christ, I needed a fag.

 

The bitch snoring in the seat next to me had tossed out my last pack. Darla said that she didn’t like the smell.

 

You're a vamp. You don't need to breathe, idiot!

 

Damn it, but that woman could drive me insane. Made me wonder why I’ve stayed with the bird for this long. Right, okay, so I actually did know why I still hung about with the old broad. Like just about everything else I did it was ‘cause of my girl.

 

Drusilla.

 

She hadn’t been doing well lately and had been looking worse and worse. Those damn bastards from Prague had done this to her while Grandmum and I were away. They’d taken my Dru and tortured her. First to get information on our whereabouts, then just for fun.  When we’d learned of her capture it'd been too late. She'd already suffered so much damage that she couldn't recover from it, at least not on her own.

 

So here we were on a grand tour of the bloody colonies, heading to go see my wanker of a Grandsire, who’d abandoned us for a century, doing God knows what in God knows where. I hadn't heard from Angelus since the wanker had had me and a newly turned Lawson thrown out in sea while the bastard sailed off on the submarine that we’d been previously occupying.

 

Blast it! Thank you, soul, for the wonderful trip down guilt lane that more than fifty years hasn’t been able to quell. It wasn’t really my fault that I’d woken up last and the Prince of Lies had already breakfasted on most of the crew, but that didn’t mean I didn’t feel like hell about not being there to stop him.

 

Lawson. Hmm, I wondered how the bloke was doing nowadays. Last I’d heard he was off protecting the hellmouth in Cleveland. I guessed I’d better try and contact him so I could give him the heads up that we were on his side of the pond and aiming to meet up with Angelus. The man might even have wanted to join us in this little family reunion, though I highly doubted it.

 

The bloke still had a sore spot when it came to Angelus, and I couldn't blame him. He got sired by the great git, then after the fledgling had done everything that’d been asked of him, the wanker had still thrown Lawson away like trash. I would've understood the bastard's actions better if the circumstances had been different, but he’d turned Lawson into a Childe and not just a mindless minion. Lawson was like Angelus’ son, and he had abandoned him without a backwards glance. It was one of the worse things that a vampire could do: leaving one’s fledgling Childe alone in the world to fend for itself. It would have been better if Angelus had simply staked the poor bastard back then, but no, he couldn't do it because Lawson had just helped save what was left of the crew. The self-righteous bastard had felt that that’d earned the boy an undusty existence, but not a helping hand.

 

Having thought about it, I really didn’t get why Granddad cared about any of it. The Angelus I knew wouldn't have needed even the flimsiest of excuses to dust a fledgling, especially one that he had made. He never hesitated in putting a stake to his own kin if he didn't like how they ended up. I’d seen more than my fair share of those vamps back when I’d first been turned. Hell, I’d almost joined them a couple of times when I’d managed to royally brass the sod off.

 

So how come he didn't just dust Lawson? Or me? And why the hell hadn’t he felt like Angelus back then?

 

My memory of him at that time was a little hazy. Woodstock had been between now and then after all. I knew I’d been surprised to see his ass still alive, but I’d had to be a bit cautious not to let him know about my soul since I did have a cover to keep up at the time.

 

God save the Queen and all that rot.

 

Anyway, what I could remember was that Angelus had acted a bit off. Maybe it because he spared those sailors, though I suppose he could have had them all for afternoon tea after me and Lawson were left doing our best Matthew Webb impressions miles from shore. Or perhaps it was the bit where he’d been working with humans that had had my spidy-senses tingling. I didn’t rightly know. Heck, if I hadn’t been able to smell him, I would've said he was a completely different demon wearing an Angelus skin suit.

 

Damn, but I was giving myself a headache here. I’d better stop with the tryin’ to understand the demented mind of my Grandsire, because that was a no win situation. What was important was that the bastard had better be willing to help us, or rather help Dru. He’d killed her after twisting her mind worse than his own, so the bloody least he could do was to get the poor girl back to her regular self. If he didn’t, well, I would be telling Darla to work some Sire voo-doo on him in order to force him into making Dru well. While we vampires might not have the best moral codes, we were all governed by the ancient laws, those oh-so-wonderful Rules of Blood.

 

Blood was life for us vamps, and I wasn’t just talking about it in the three-square-meals kind of way, because it was so much more than that. Blood was how vampires were created, and what links vamp families together. We were all bound by the Rules of Blood, so if the laws are invoked, we had no choice but to obey. It’d been some kind of soddin’ miracle that the Slayers and their tweed wearing Watcher’s council didn’t know jack all about them so far. It’d make unlife a lot more difficult otherwise.

 

Since we could threaten Angelus with forced cooperation if he decided to be a royal ass about helping Dru, I wasn’t as worried about him as I could be. The real problem was going to be with the town's local Slayer.

 

I've encountered more than my fair share of Slayers in my time. Total of seven the last time I counted.  Two of ‘em had become really good friends of mine up until their callings caught up with them and they went to their early graves. This means I didn’t have any qualms about meeting up with Slayers.

 

Hell, usually I’d be looking forward to it, but this time things were different. This chit hung around with Angelus, one of the nastiest vampires in history. While that made me a little curious, it also made me more than a lot cautious. The icing on the cake was that there was a rumor going round that this girl gotten old Peaches to switch hats and fight the good fight.

 

I didn’t rightly know whether to be impressed with the young Slayer’s bravery or sorry for her naivety.

 

Angelus wasn’t the kind of vamp you made friendly with, not that any vampires really fit that bill, but with Angelus, kindness would only be a pretense that would eventually result a bad and untimely end for the other party involved. So yeah, this Slayer was in for a whole load of trouble, and here were me and my family driving right towards the impending crap show. So we needed be prepared for anything and everything. Probably it’d be either Angelus' homicidal tendencies or a Slayer on the war path after she’d been double crossed. Neither one was especially a cheery thing for the denizens of Sunnydale. Whether or not I really cared was a moot point since according to Dru we have this big, sacred responsibility to protect these people. It's our duty since we were the Guardians of the Balance for Good. It’s a dumb name, but I didn’t have the heart to tell my girl that since she came up with it. I’d be whatever she needed.

 

I shifted uncomfortably in the van’s worn out seat.

 

Damn, I really bloody need a fag.

 

The song on the radio changed to one I recognized and I began to sing along softly.

 

_You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run…_

 

 

**TBC**

 

 

 

 

**(O.O)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun facts: Mathew Webbs is the first dude to swim the English Channel in 1873. And the song at the end is entitled "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers.
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! See ya!


	5. A New Face in Town

**Note: _Italized_ words are Buffy's personal/Slayer thoughts. Some dialog taken from School Hard by Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt.  
  
(O.O)**

**  
  
Buffy**

**  
**  
"Many people would tell you to think of your principal as your 'pal'. I say think of me as your judge, jury and executioner,“ sneered Snyder, the little troll, at me and Sheila Martini. She was another one of his pet hate projects and had gotten called into his office along with me.

  
  
I never could understand why he was always out to get me, or why he had placed me in the same category as Miss I-stabbed-someone-with-scissors. She was sitting beside me looking bored to tears while I was nearly panicking over getting in troubled again. For no reason. I really hated the man in front of me.

  
  
"Tell me, who do you think is the most troublesome student in this school?" he looked between the two of us, darting those beady eyes back and forth.

  
  
_Well, why don’t you TELL ME who you think saves your sniveling butt from getting killed by the monsters that go bump in the night? Better quit stalling, hobbit-man, and tell us already why you called us here, or I might just accidentally forget you're one of the humans I am supposed to be protecting._

 _  
_  
My inner Slayer was being a right bitch and I had to struggle to keep my face neutral.

  
  
"Well, it is quite the match between you two," he stated with a smirk, which confused me. How could I have done anything near as bad as Sheila? I even did my homework. Sometimes.

  
  
With a shrewd look on his face Snyder opened the two thick files on his desk. One still had a fading stamp that read ‘Hemery High’ on it. Guessed that answered that question. "On the one hand, Buffy hasn't stabbed a horticulture teacher with a trowel, yet."

  
  
"I never stabbed anyone with a trowel!" Sheila said angrily. Apparently she was suddenly ready to defend herself. She tapped the file in front of Snyder with her finger hard enough to make the weasel involuntarily edge backwards. "It was pruning shears. It should say pruning shears."

  
  
I stared at her. _Really? So not the point here missy._

  
  
Recovering quickly, Snyder ignored her outburst and continued with his lecture. He switched his gaze to look pointedly at me. "On the other hand, Sheila's never burnt down a school building."

  
  
"That was never proved. The fire marshal said it could have been mice…"

  
  
_Way to look even more guilty, Buff._

  
  
"Mice?" he asked with a raised brow.

  
  
"Mice…that were smoking?" I added with what I hoped was an innocent expression on my face.

  
  
_And you just proved to the man just how blonde you really are._

  
  
Snyder, again ignoring what was said, continued talking as he flipped through the files. "And the two of you seem to be tied in the class-cutting and fight-starting events. You're really neck and neck here. It's very exciting."

  
  
_Again, I was trying to save the world here! Sacred duty and all that. Everybody not being dead was slightly more important that an Algebra test, or two. Could be three now._

  
  
"What does the winner get?" Sheila asked.

  
  
"Expelled," the troll said with a sly smile.

  
  
It finally registered with me just how serious the situation was.

  
  
"This Thursday is parent-teacher night. Your parents..." he paused to look at me before continuing, "...assuming you have any, will meet your teachers..." this time he looked at Sheila, "...assuming you have any left. And I have decided to put you two in charge of this event. You have three days to prepare the refreshments, make the banners, and transform the school lounge into a habitable place for adults. This will incur my goodwill, and may even affect what I tell your parents when I meet them. Are we clear?"

  
  
_That's it? Totally clear and can do._

  
  
"We're clear." I told him and nodded my head. I wanted him to know I really, really understood. "Don't you feel clear?" I asked Sheila, who still looked indifferent, before turning back to Snyder. "We're very clear."

 

"Good. Because you mess up this time, and your parents will be coming to clean out your lockers."

  
  
_Well, phewy._

  
  
**(O.O)**

  
  
After the meeting with Snyder I walked out with Sheila to talk further about the Parent-Teacher thing we were supposed to be preparing for together.

  
  
"It really shouldn't be that hard. We'll work on banners tomorrow at lunch and we can figure out refreshments then," I told her.

  
  
"Yeah, sure, whatever," she answered me distractedly. I was about to ask her what color she thought the banners should be when her head jerked up and she forgot all about me. With an excited yell she called out to an older, mean looking, tattooed guy. "Hey, Meatpie! Wait up!" And walked away from me without so much as a backward glance.

  
  
_Well so much for teamwork. I'm doomed!_ I shook my head.

  
  
"Heard Snyder's got you guys making party favors," Xander, one of my bestest friends, said as he came up beside me. Him just being there made me feel at least a little smidgen better.

  
  
"Yeah, his two worst students." I answered while keeping my eyes on Sheila. "When my Mom looks at me, that's what she sees. A Sheila."

  
  
"Sheila's definitely intense. That guy with her? That's the one she CAN bring home to her mother," Xander said.

 

My other good friend, Willow, joined us and I started feeling a whole lot better. I didn’t know what I’d do without the two of them.

  
  
"She smoked when we were in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her," Willow told us while trying to sound tough. It made me smile.

  
  
_Cute Wils. Bet she threatened you back then._

  
  
"You're bad to the bone," Xander told her teasingly.

  
  
"I'm a rebel," she said with a carless shrug.

  
  
"It's just not fair. I'm the Slayer, which requires a certain amount of fighting and cutting. What's Sheila's excuse?" I whined.

 

I never expected ticker tape parades down Main Street but it’d be nice if once in while I got cut some slack.

  
  
"Homework, she won't do it, and most of the teachers respect that now. You'll probably want to keep her away from sharp implements while you're working." Xander didn’t sound like he was kidding.

  
  
"Do you think any of the other Slayers ever had to go to high school?" I asked my friends.

  
  
Sensing my melancholy, Xander tried to cheer me up. "Hey, it's no biggie. You'll put on a nice little affair. The parents'll love it, as long as nothing really bad comes along between now and then, you'll be fine."

  
  
_Great! Now the whole thing was cursed. Thanks Xan!_

  
  
"Are you nuts? Why'd you say that for? Now something bad is gonna happen!" Genuine fear found its way into my voice.

  
  
"What do you mean? Nothing is gonna happen!" He started to panic right along with me.

  
  
"Not until some dummy says: 'As long as nothing bad happens…'" Willow reiterated.

  
  
_Leave it to Willow to be the smart one in this group._

  
  
"That's like the ultimate jinx!" I told him in explanation.

  
  
"What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking?" Willow added accusingly.

  
  
Xander immediately got defensive. "Well, you don't know. Maybe this time is different."

  
  
_Yeah right. Knowing my luck. It's highly doubtful._

  
  
**(O.O)**

  
  
I was out enjoying a lovely moonlight stroll through a cemetery all by my lonesome. At least that’s what I wanted the baddies to think when I was on patrol. I was lucky that so far nothing had taken the bait because I know I was distracted. I just couldn’t get the conversation I had from earlier with my mom out of my mind.

  
  
She had made my life sound so easy, but it wasn’t. Living the life of a slayer never is. I had it extra hard because I was juggling with not only my calling, but also being a teenager in a high school with an impish troll for a principal. Now, that's hell.

 

Why couldn’t Snyder have turned out to be a demon?

  
  
This job that I supposedly “don’t have”, well it's my destiny and calling. It's not something I could easily quit, escape from and forget about. No, it's not. It was something I was born to do. It’s not like anyone ever asked me if I wanted to go around risking my life each night and sticking stakes in vampires.

 

I’d had zero choice in the matter. I’d tried to pretend I could retire when I’d first moved here. I don’t know what I’d been smoking to believe that would work. All that’d happened is that someone I knew turned up dead. Just add him to the list of people I've failed or disappointed. He can go right next to Merrick and my parents.

  
  
I really didn’t want to disappoint Mom again. God, I really didn't. In fact, what I truly wished for was to make her proud of me for once. This Parent-Teacher thing seemed to be the way to do it and I was planning to give 110% of myself to making it perfect.

 

  
_Please, just don’t let any baddies show up to ruin it!_

  
  
**(O.O)**

  
  
Sheila was a no show, again, and I'd ended up doing almost all the decorating by myself. Thank goodness for my two trusty best-friends who’d helped me paint banners for tomorrow night.

 

Things were starting to look up. I mean, sure, banner painting was boring and teal paint in my hair was not a good look for me, but, hey, at least I was almost done with everything . Not to mention that after school we’d be meeting up at the Bronze to see if Angel would show up. Er- I mean to study for French. I didn’t need Monsieur Dejean telling my mom that her daughter was très stupide.

  
  
So, anyway, everything is going to be okay. Or not. I could see Giles and Miss Calendar coming over here with an old, dusty book and by the looks they were wearing and the conversation they were having, I didn't think they were bringing anything of the good variety.

  
  
"What's the up, guys?" Xander broke into their tense argument.

  
  
"I don't suppose this is something about happy squirrels?" I asked a little too hopefully.

  
  
"Vampires," Giles said grimly breaking whatever hope I had.

  
  
"That was my next guess," I told him and matched his expression.

  
  
"Ms. Calendar has been researching--er, surfing on her computer. And according to her calendar, this Saturday is the Night of Saint Vigeous."

  
  
_It sounds like your run of the mill Catholic feast day, but on the Hellmouth I was positive it wouldn’t be anything as such. I wasn’t that lucky._

  
  
"Lemme guess,” I snarked. “He didn't make balloon animals."

  
  
"He led a crusade. Of vampires. They swept through Edessa, Harran, and points east," Giles again with his grim, THIS IS SERIOUS, Watcher’s tone.

  
  
"They didn't leave much behind." Miss Calendar finished with a similar worried expression.

  
  
"So Saturday's kind of a big to do for bloodsuckers?" it was Xander again who asked the pertinent question.

  
  
"It's a Holy Night of Attack. They'll come in numbers," Miss Calendar explained.

  
  
"If I survive parent teacher night tomorrow," I nodded at banners. “I'll see what I can do about Saturday."

  
  
"You're being a tad flip, don't you think? This is serious," Giles scolded me.

  
  
_Well Giles, what I'm doing is serious, too. I can’t let my Mom down one more time._

  
  
"And being kicked out of school is laughs aplenty?" I rolled my eyes at him.

  
  
"You know what happens when you let your life interfere with your slaying?" He asked me gruffly.

  
  
_Oh, I know it too well, Watcher mine._

  
  
"Yes, I found that out the last time I had a date, back in the Restoration era," I reminded him, anger creeping into my voice.

  
  
"You just need to keep the two things separate."

  
  
_Easy for you to say, Giles, nobody was expecting a lot from you. Heck, he could easily mix Watcher stuff with your librarian duties because no one ever really went to the library anymore! It wasn’t fair._

  
  
"Yes, well, if my slaying doesn't get me expelled, I promise my banner making won't get me killed. Just let me get through the week," I begged.

  
  
"Saturday will require a great deal of preparation," he said, not giving up easily.

  
  
"Well, we'll help," Willow offered

  
  
"Yeah! I can whittle stakes!" Xander volunteered.

  
  
_Thank God for cool best-friends._ I gave them grateful smiles.

  
  
"And I can research stuff," added Wils.

  
  
"Your help will be appreciated," Giles told them before facing me again. "But when it comes to battle, Buffy must be prepared to fight alone. You are, after all, a slay-" but he had to cut himself off when he saw Snyder approaching. "--slay…ve. Slave. You're all slaves to the… television. You young people nowadays. Goodbye."

  
  
_That was not at all obviously awkward, and he gets after me about keeping my identity a secret._

  
  
He and Jenny immediately took off, leaving us to deal with my very least favorite imp.

  
  
Snyder gave Xander and Willow the once over. "You wouldn't be helping Buffy in Sheila's place would you?"

  
  
Xander hid a paintbrush behind his back before answering. "No."

  
  
"We're hindering," Willow said with an innocent smile.

  
  
Snyder didn’t fall for it. "She ditched. Mmm, I feel an expulsion coming on," he said a little bit too enthusiastic for my taste. It made me feel a little bit bad for Sheila. Under different, more demon-y circumstances, it could be me that wouldn’t be able to be here.

  
  
"She's been helping for hours. She's just out getting more paint." I tried to reason, but I noticed that he wasn't listening to me. He had shifted and was staring at something behind me. I followed his gaze to the door as Sheila stumbled through it in full Courtney Love mode. She looked awful and was still wearing the previous day’s rumpled clothes along with a pair of dark glasses. I immediately rushed to her side and guided her to one of the banners.

  
  
I pretended to have a conversation with her and then plopped a brush in her hand.

  
  
"Just make sure everything is perfect on Thursday," the troll said, eyes narrowed, before huffing away from us.

  
  
To my surprise Sheila was actually grateful.

  
  
_Well, guess she isn't all that bad after all._

  
  
We continued working until it was time for us to leave.

  
  
**(O.O)**

**  
  
Darla**

  
  
We’d been keeping a low profile ever since arriving two days ago in Sunnydale. Among the town’s human populace at least . We’d made some wave in the demon community by dusting the Anointed One and most of his followers. I’d allowed a few minions to live by either letting them pledge loyalty to me or permitting them to skip town immediately. I had been trying my best to not let it get back to either the Slayer or Angelus that we were here, so it’d been an unpleasant surprise to wake up and find one of my family members missing.

  
  
"Where the hell is William?" I thundered at the group of minions.

  
  
Dalton, the wimpy little vamp who’d been among the few that had pledged loyalty to us, answered.

 

"He said something about exploring the town and its ‘exotic sites.’"

  
  
I immediately knew what he meant. William went out to check out the Slayer. Damn that boy and his Slayer obsession. I cursed the day Angelus had told him about them. Ever since, he did nothing but seek them out. It had been bad enough that he goes looking for them, but William had formed the habit of befriending them. He’d start off fighting them, then would become friends with them and finally he’d help train them. Then it’d be left to me and Dru to pick up the pieces when the stupid girls met their inevitable and untimely deaths. William would be devastated. Every time he’d trick himself into believing that this go around things would be different and the girl would live longer. I hated seeing the aftermath when he was invariably disappointed.

  
  
He’d spend years being grouchy and broody and talk to anybody that’d listen about all they ways he’d come up with to save them if only he’d been able to be a little better, or faster, or whatever. He’d be ten times more annoying than usual and he tended to end up testing the limits of my soul’s ability to keep me from dusting him.

 

Well, I probably wouldn’t really do it, but it makes me feel better to imagine it.

  
  
After my outburst at finding William gone, which had been an epic one that’d involved throwing furniture and screaming, I calmed down enough to realize the full implications of what the boy was doing. William had gone to see the Slayer. The Slayer who just happened to be friends with Angelus.

  
  
This was a fine to do. If Angelus was with her, or she told my Childe about seeing William, then it wouldn’t be long before Angelus would figure out that we were all here. And that just wouldn’t do.

  
  
I hadn't come up with a plan yet that would get Angelus to voluntarily agree to help Dru. I knew William was thinking that I could use a blood bind ritual, and I would if I could, but it was an impossibility. The ritual required a secure Sire-Childe relationship and after what I did to Angelus in Bejing our bond had essentially been severed.

 

To renew it both Angelus and I would have to mutually agree that it should be, and I couldn’t see any way that would ever happen.

 

We could try it the other way and have Dru invoke Angelus’ help as his Childe, but it was a tricky thing and after a century of believing that he was dead, I had the feeling that it wouldn’t work.

 

Angelus may have even formally broke the bond at some point, and if he hadn’t he might do so now just to spite me. I don't think Drusilla could take a blow like right now.

 

To severe a Sire-Childe bond is like removing someone's finger, sure they still have nine more, but they will forever know that one’s missing. It could take decades to recover the blow, which I knew first hand, and the emotional and psychological trauma would probably kill Dru in her current state. There was no way I was going to be having her beg Angelus for anything.

  
  
That's why I’d yet to come up with a workable plan, even though I’d had the whole trip here to think about it.

 

Damn that William bringing this to a head already.

 

When that boy got home I was chaining him to bed with no supper. Then we’d see if he still thought it was good idea to take off without so much as a ‘by your leave.’

  
  
**(O.O)**

**  
  
Buffy**

  
  
It was official: I hated French.

 

Why was it the people who made amazing foods like French fries and French toast had to have the hardest language on Earth? Why couldn't they just stick to English? The two countries were pretty close together. Things would've been a lot easier for me if they had.

 

I was also bummed since Angel was a complete no show for the evening. Well, it wasn’t like we had some sort of date, but a girl could get really tired of waiting for a guy to make a move. Not that I was expecting him to hit on me, but it wouldn't exactly be unwelcome if he ever got around to it. It wasn’t like I was getting any younger here. I just really wished I could get the guy out of the shadows, you know.

 

I mean he was all sweet and mysterious and unav--wow! Check out the hottie that just walked in.

 

  
"Wils, yumminess at six o’clock. Don’t stare." I whispered to my friend.

  
  
She glanced behind her and looked backed at me with a bemused smile. "He's cute. I mean if you dig the whole black on black look with that bad boy persona."

  
  
_Bad boy? He was just confident. Whole different vibe._

  
  
I snorted. “C’mon Wils. That, my friend, is a perfect specimen of hotness of the male variety," I told her as I shamelessly tilted my head to admire his backside as he sauntered towards the bar.

  
  
"Um, what about Angel?" she asked uncertainly.

  
  
"Angel is another kind of tasty, but of the vampire variety. What I am looking at now is deliciousness of the human kind.” I told her, sotto voce, as I continued my oogling. It never hurt to look. "I wonder who he is and why I've never seen him before."

  
  
"Maybe he's new in town?" Willow suggested.

  
  
"Who's new in town?" Xander asked as he joined us at the table.

  
  
"Buffy's human specimen of hotness," Willow answered while waving her hand in the direction of the man I am still staring at.

  
  
"Oh," Xander said in a disappointed tone. "By the way he looks, I bet he’s one of those new musicians here in the Bronze. I mean he's already got the whole punk look going on."

  
  
"If he is, I think I just found another reason to keep visiting the Bronze. God he's hot”

 

I wasn’t sure I’d blinked since first laying eyes on him.

  
  
"We get it Buff. Now why don't you go ask him to dance," Willow suggested.

  
  
"What?! --er, I mean are you for reals? The dude looks like he's old enough to have a job.” Xander was shifting around uncomfortably in his seat. “Why is he here in the Bronze anyway? Y’know other than to check out the kids that come here. He could be some pedo-serial killer or something for all we know." Xander’s voice was getting squeaky.

  
  
I simply stared at my friend and wondered if he’d been hit by the idiot train.

 

"Xander, I'm the Slayer. If he does end up being Hannibal Lecter I think I can still take care of myself. Y’know I regularly handle far worse."

 

I hadn’t really intended to go through with going over there and talking to the guy, because while looking was one thing, getting sweaty on the dance floor was another. But Xander’s diatribe had really bothered me. I needed to prove myself. It’s not like Angel ever needed to know. If he’d bothered to show up this whole situation would be a moot point.

  
  
"Well what about studying for French? Isn't that what you came here for in the first place?" Xander continued to try and wheedle me.

  
  
"Yeah, but I'm taking a break with Mr. Hottie on the dance floor."

 

I left my friends before they could say something else and headed towards the bar.

  
  
If it was any other night, I would’ve been surprised at my sudden burst of confidence that came to me as I approached the guy. I usually wasn’t the kind of girl to get all determined about meeting a perfect stranger, especially a ridiculously gorgeous one. I didn’t know what had gotten into me, but it was primal and it knew what I wanted better than I did. Frankly I was too far gone to particularly care about things like common sense at that moment.

  
  
"Hello cutie," I whispered in his ear from behind. I’d had to raise myself up on my tiptoes to reach his ear and I was nearly leaning on the guy’s leather clad back.

 

Personal space wasn’t very high on my priority list at that time.

  
  
He immediately spun to face me, his eyebrows high in surprise. I found myself getting lost in his face. He had a pale complexion, sharp cheek bones and very kissable lips. I licked my own as they had gone dry. Then I looked into his eyes and nearly drowned there. They were the deepest bluest eyes that I had ever seen. I forgot to breath.

  
  
"See something you like, pet?" he smirked and I nearly died at the sexy English accent.

  
  
_Wow Buff, you sure know how to pick them. You’d better check for drool._

  
  
"All of it. Wanna dance, handsome?" Our mouths were only narrow inches apart.

  
  
He simply winked at me and grabbed my hand to lead me the dance floor. I noticed how cold his fingers were, but I barely had enough time to think about it before we were in the middle of the crowd and moving to the music. Our bodies were so close, and it was like we’d known each other for years. We’d instantaneously known how to move as a couple.

 

Everyone else in the club faded away as we both found endless reasons for our hands to wander over each other. He brushed my hips while I grasped his shoulders. He slid a hand down to feel my behind while I learned the planes of his chest. I ran my fingers through his hair and he moved his own slowly up and down my sides. We were always connected. Several times he buried his face into the crook of my neck, and I could've swore I felt him smelling me. It seemed a little weird until I did the same, and then I wanted more of him.

  
  
We left no reachable parts on the other untouched. It was the single most erotic experience of my life. I couldn't even begin to explain what was happening, but I loved every moment of it.

  
  
He had his arms around me and it was the safest that I’d felt since becoming the Slayer. I had an undeniable feeling that this was where I belonged, and by the slightly stunned but adoring look on his face, I believed the feeling was mutual.

  
  
I could have danced with him all night, but the spell was broken when another teen bumped into us. He looked wild and was yelling. "Phone! Where’s the phone? Some guy outside tried to bite me, and he took off with two of my companions! We gotta call the cops!"

  
  
I was pissed at the universe. Some vamp just had to ruin my perfect evening. I gave an apologetic look to my hottie dance partner before running off to be the Slayer.

  
  
I immediately found the menaces and had dusted them with no problem. Amateurs. Luckily both victims were still alive, if a little worse for wear, and I called an ambulance to come and take them to the nearest hospital.

  
  
By the time I was able to go back inside and look for the new guy, he’d vanished without a trace.

  
  
"I didn't even get to know his name," I uttered in bitter disappointment as I left for home.

 

 

**TBC**

  
**(O.O)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yehey! I'm so happy with this chapter. It's my first Spuffy encounter and I found it extremely satisfying, well not really considering I never got to introduce Spike and ended the encounter like that. But anyway, if you're wondering about why Buffy felt the way she did, well it'll be explained in due time, just remember that Buffy wasn't in control of herself the entire time. So don't go off thinking she's become a horny teenager, because she isn't, same goes thing can be said for Spike, though he's so not a teenager. Anyway thanks for reading. See you next time. Bhu-bye!


	6. Unknown Enemies

**(O.O)**

**  
  
Angel**

  
  
The word on the street was that the Anointed One had been turned to dust. But apparently the guy that was said to had offed him was a Master Vampire who’d then taken the Anointed One’s place and had just become the Hellmouth’s newest big bad.

 

I had been spending the last three days tracking down all my informants so I could try and find out if there was any validity to the rumors. While everyone agreed the Anointed One was indeed gone, no one had any info on the vamp that’d done the deed. Even the snitch, Willie, left me empty handed.

  
  
I was about to give up on my search altogether when I came across a couple of vamps at the butcher shop where I usually went to buy my blood.

 

At first, I was surprised when I saw them buying cartons of pig's blood from the shopkeeper instead of just eating him. Once I recovered from my initial shock, I immediately stopped the two so I could question them. Then, for the second time that night, the pair surprised me. Instead of spilling the beans or trying to fight me like most vampires, the two tucked tail and ran. I let my demon free and took off after them with a roar.

  
  
The two had ducked and darted like rabbits, but this hound was smarter than that. I was able to corner them in an alley only a few blocks from the shop.

  
  
"No way out now, kiddies," I told them, "No more running. Now, if you answer all my questions, I’ll at least consider knocking off most of the little games I’m planning for you. Give you a nice, fast dusting."

 

A growl from deep in my chest emphasized my threat and the superiority of my demon. This method usually worked on fledglings like these two. Usually they’d submit to me and I could get them to sing any song I wanted. Of course I’d only indulge in this…method…of questioning when Buffy wasn’t there to see it.

  
  
Buffy.

  
  
I hadn't seen the girl for days now. I knew she and her friends were busy with school and patrolling, but she had said that she’d wanted to spend more time with me. I had been thinking about going to the Bronze. So every time I'd met a dead end with my search I was tempted to go and try to find her there.

 

Only I was never certain that it was really a place I should risk seeing her at. The famous night club was always filled with a lot of people. Young, sweaty, nubile people to be exact. It made the demon wild and unsettled. It wanted blood. Fresh blood from the throats of teens who hung out in that place.

 

No matter how badly I wanted to see Buffy, the desire was tempered with the knowledge that I could never let her see the monster that lurked just under my skin. So I stayed away and settled for missing her.

  
  
That frustration lent my words an edge, and I expected the vamps in front of me to fold like wet tissue paper. Instead of submission, however, I saw defiance in their eyes. It made me wonder who their sire was, because while these two smelled like minions, they acted like Childers.

 

It was then that I realized that simple intimidation was a lost cause. The two vampires must be under the influence of a Blood Oath. They’d been given the blood of a superior vampire and had subsequently pledged their allegiance to that vampire and his line. Their ability to resist me also meant that it wasn’t just an ordinary Blood Oath to your run of the mill vamp. It had to be a very powerful Master Vampire, one that was most likely even older than me.

  
  
With the Blood Oath taking simple intimidation off the table, actual torture might be necessary. My demon was beyond excited at the prospect, even though it was only violence against demons without the possibility of a good meal. I fought to squash that emotion immediately. I couldn’t lose control of myself, especially not in this town, where Buffy lived. It’d happened once when I kissed her, and that’d been once too many. Her and her little gang could never know of the struggle I went through from day to day to keep the demon in check.

  
  
"Guess we’ll get right to the fun stuff then. I should warn you two, I’ve had a lot of practice.” I slipped my human mask back in place. The sly smile I gave the two vampires would have mirrored any that Angelus would have been capable of back in the day.

  
  
After I said this, I saw the two share a look before one of them gave his bag of blood to his companion to hold, and attacked me. Initially I’d been taken by surprise but I’d immediately gotten the upper hand and had dusted the vampire. When I turned around to face his companion and saw that the other one was no longer there. Immediately I tried to search for the other vamp, but his scent had become lost in the stink of the sewers.

  
  
After everything I’d gone through that night all I had wanted was to go home and have a good long chance to sit and think, think not brood, as most people seem to believe I do.

  
  
It was obvious that those two vampires were indeed serving a Master Vampire. An old and powerful one at that, because there is no way that any ordinary vampire could inspire that kind of loyalty from a minion. Most of the time, even under a Blood Oath, vampires weren't selfless enough to sacrifice their own lives. A Master strong enough to defeat the Anointed One and bind minions to him with steel bands would be a formidable opponent. Buffy could get hurt or worse by fighting this vampire.

  
  
The risk of her not knowing she had a new foe and running into him unaware had proven to be more fatal in my head than her potentially making a rash choice to go after him guns blazing. I decided that even though I wasn't sure who this vampire was it was worth warning Buffy about him. It’d give her a chance to prepare for him.

  
  
I had to wait to tomorrow when I would know where to find her.

  
  
**(O.O)**

  
  
The next morning, I ventured out during the day to the school library that was the site of most of Buffy's little gang’s meetings. They were already there, chatting and researching, when I arrived. I stayed behind a stack of old books and waited for the perfect moment to show myself. After all, style was everything and I always have had a bit of a penchant for drama and women seem to like that.

  
  
As I was waiting, I overheard the group discussing the Night of St. Vigeous which was this Saturday. I internally cursed myself for not remembering about it. I also realized the implications for a new, powerful, Master Vampire having arrived in Sunnydale just in time for the event. He was a big enough threat without the boost in strength from the ritual. Buffy could be in serious danger. I needed to think of a way to protect her in order to fulfil the duty that the PTB had entrusted me with.

  
  
"Giles, can't training wait until tomorrow when I don't have to be worried about getting expelled?" Buffy's voice shook me out of my musing.

  
  
"I'm afraid not, Buffy. If the Night of St. Vigeous is the event that Jenny says it is, then the only way to keep you alive is to properly prepare you by sharpening your skills," the Watcher told her.

  
  
"You're right. But it all won't matter anyway if Mom kills me after tonight. Seriously Giles, I just need a break."

  
  
"She's right G-man. Buffy's been working nonstop for days now. Not to mention the fact that Sheila has practically gone AWOL on her since yesterday. She’s had to do the final decorating alone. She just needs rest," Harris, one of Buffy's friends, came to her defense.

  
  
"Don't worry Mr. Giles, me and Miss Calendar have been working on creating some spells that could possibly be useful in dusting a large number of vamps all in one blow," I heard the timid Willow say. This made me slightly uncomfortable, considering I could also get hit and killed by such a spell.

  
  
“Really? Does that mean I'll be having it easy during patrols from now on?" Buffy said a bit too hopefully for my taste.

  
  
I never could understand why the girl wanted to find ways get out of her duties as the Slayer. It was her job. Why did she always want to escape it? I always thought that being a Slayer is the one of the greatest honor one could ever receive. It was why Slayers always took their job seriously. I mean, these girls are given a purpose, a drive, a reason for greatness.

 

But Buffy thought of it as a hindrance.

 

Contrast to myself, having a calling or a purpose were among the things I had wanted when I was alive. It was something I searched for, but never found. True, I often went looking for it in the bottom of a glass of ale or in the comforts of a willing woman, but it hadn’t always been like that.

  
  
When I was a wee lad, my grandpa had told me that when I grew up I was destined for great things. I never knew why he said it, just that he’d said it often enough for me to believe him. I would imagine myself as some great warrior or hero, fighting evil men and rescuing some damsels. It was what got me up every day despite my pa's abusive and drunken ways. It gave me hope that I would amount into something better than a slowly impoverishing gentleman's son.

 

So I waited for that day to come. As I gradually got older though, I had lost my hope when my life didn't turn into what I had dreamed. I’d became what I had hated most: someone like my father.

 

Drinking and fornication became my daily bread and butter, and my duty to my family became less and less important. Eventually my pa disowned me. I hadn’t cared, and why would I? It wasn't like he’d ever cared for or about me. An heir had been a necessary evil and he acted like I should have worshiped him for being allowed to follow in his footsteps. I continued that life, stumbling from one tavern or ale house to the next, until I met HER.

  
  
Darla.

  
  
I could still remember everything that’d happened that night. How enchanting her beauty had been. I’d wondered why she, a woman of means, had chosen to speak to a drunken lout like me. It was embarrassing now, but at the time I’d had some very perverse thoughts about what I’d like to do with her and I’d just come right out and told her most of them.

 

Only difference between her against the others before her, was that she hadn’t slapped me and stormed away after my soul sharing. In fact, she’d sounded willing and had played along with me. Of course it’d only been a means for getting me alone in the street.

 

Once we were alone, she had promised me that she would show me the world.

 

It was an adventure I just couldn't resist. It was a chance to change the course my life.

 

She had offered and I’d accepted without a moment of hesitation. My life was indeed changed that night. Whether that’d been a good or bad thing was yet to be decided.

  
I know, with every fiber of my being, that I should hate Darla for her deceit that night. I should be angry with her for killing me and damning my soul to hell.

 

Only I couldn't. I didn't even want to. She had transformed me that night. True, she had made me into a monster, but even my soul could agree that my life as Angelus, though filled with death, blood, and lust had had more purpose, beauty and finesse than my life as a human had ever had.

 

As Angelus, I’d been able to do anything and everything that I had wanted without being hindered by the will of others or worrying about the judgement of my betters. Being a vampire had made me superior to everyone. I’d loved every moment of having that power within me.

  
  
When I’d been cursed with my soul all that enjoyment had flown away. The guilt that came with it was a hell in its own right. I could see everything that I had done: each and every kill I made, every torture I had performed, every man, woman and child I had hurt, molested and defiled. It all came back to me.

 

It was agony.

 

What was worse was the realization that instead of becoming the great man that my grandfather had predicted I would be, I had become a monster. It was just too much for me to deal with. It’d been so overwhelming that I had lost my mind and practically left everything, including my vampire family, behind.

  
  
Two years I’d spent wallowing in self-pity. Two years I was alone with the pain, misery and guilt. Two years until I finally got up the courage to return to my Sire. I’d hoped that she would help me. I even went as far as to convince myself that I could ignore my soul's guilt and do anything to please Darla just so she would accept me.

 

Of course, I had made a mistake in thinking too highly of the soulless vampiress. Instead of aiding me, her Childe, she had casted me aside in disgust.

  
  
With no family, no purpose and a heart filled with guilt and regret, I wandered the world alone. I had kept to myself and watched on the sidelines as the world changed while I remained the same. For over a century I didn't do anything remotely bad for the fear of adding to my guilty conscience. And I didn't do any good either, because I thought I was not worthy to try to do such things.

 

I had slowly withered, all the while thinking that I was punishing myself for all the evil things I had done. I would have kept spiraling downwards for all eternity if hadn’t been for that smelly messenger from the PTB coming to me and telling me about Buffy.

  
  
Buffy, The Vampire Slayer.

  
  
Being the wise vamp that I was, I avoided Slayers because of the simple knowledge that they are the killers of my kind. But when the Powers told me that my job was to assist the Slayer with her duties, I nearly exploded from joy.

 

Finally, I had a purpose. A reason to continue this worthless undead existence that was my lot. The deciding factor in my accepting the offer had been Buffy herself.

 

She was sweet, innocent, and still so full of life. She was the entire opposite of me, and it was my destiny to help her. It had made me feel important, wanted, and again hopeful that perhaps this was what my grandfather had meant when he said I had been destined for greatness. Perhaps this beautiful girl was what he had seen.

  
  
I’d left everything I’d known in LA and went traipsing off to the small Southern Californian town that was situated on top of a Hellmouth, just so I could help the Slayer.

  
  
There are some days though, when life starts to slow down on me, that I would wonder if Buffy was truly my destiny. Don't get me wrong, I have known her long enough to make me care for her, to make me love her even, but she and I were so different that it hurt sometimes when I was with her.

 

She was always perky, and so young. She expected a lot from me. Sometimes she'd expect me to be happy doing things like hanging out with her human friends, going to the mall, or talking about the latest celebrity gossip. She alwayd wanted me to act like a "normal guy" and take her on dates or accompany her to the movie.

 

But I'm not like that. It then would make me think that I didn’t really fit into her world.

  
  
I was born in the 1700s and the term boyfriend was not even invented then, not to mention the only long term relationship I had was with a vampiress who occasionally cheated on me, and abandoned me to die when I got my soul. I didn't know the first thing about being in a relationship in this day and age, but she still expected me to. I often caught her disappointed look when I didn't do what she thought I should, and that hurt me even more. Above all, the thing that made me doubt about whether Buffy was my destiny was the fact that I had to hide what I was around her.

 

She didn’t want the demon, only the man.

  
  
I am a monster. My soul could never change the fact that I killed a lot of people, had done a lot of evil, and was still is capable of doing evil. I knew for a fact that if I did lose this soul, I'd immediately revert back to the murderer that I had once been. I had my doubts that Buffy would be able to destroy the creature that would replace me.

  
  
She loved with all her heart. I knew this for certain. I also knew that she was growing to love me, but did she really loved me for me or the perfect version of me that I let her see? I knew I should stop the farce because she's young and I knew she didn’t know any better, but, like I said, I have started to care for her. I wanted to protect her, even if meant hiding who I was.

 

But was it enough? Was this what I was supposed to be doing for the rest of my existence? Was this my destiny? To spend my time changing my nature for a girl who is not even one tenth my age? Perhaps... I sighed. I didn't really know.

  
  
"We need to prepare," Giles voice said loudly, reverting my attention back to the group. "We can never be too sure about anything."

  
  
"Rupert is right kids. We can never be too sure about anything. Our enemies have numbers and not to mention the possibility that the Anointed One could rally all of them and lead the vamps to attack us. We have a lot of disadvantages, we need--" the Computer Teacher was telling the group, but I had stopped listening, instead opting to finally reveal myself to the group.

  
  
"--All help we can get, because the Anointed One is the least of our problems." I finished the teacher's words as I stepped out of the shadows.

  
  
"Angel," I heard Buffy whisper my name, making me look at her.

  
  
"Buffy," I whispered back.

  
  
Our eyes met briefly, but for some reason there was something different in the way she looked at me. Gone was that love-struck look she always sent me, in its place was a confused and analytical gaze that made me worry that something bad must've happened to her in the three days that I’d been away.

  
  
We must've been staring at each other a long time because a fake cough came from Harris' lips to interrupt us. I needed to get my attention back on the matter at hand.

  
  
"You were saying, Angel?" Giles asked me to continue, ignoring the elephant in the room as usual.

  
  
"What I'm trying to say is that the Anointed One won't be a problem. He's dust." I told them, my eyes never leaving Buffy. I still got the feeling that something was wrong with her and that she wasn't willing to tell me. Yet.

  
  
"So the kiddie vamp is now living in Dustville, huh? That's like the best news all day! Does this mean we don't have to worry about the St. Vicious thing this Saturday? Because I vote we go Bronzing!" Harris enthused, earning a glare from me.

  
  
"It's called St. Vigeous, Xander. And I did not say that the whole event was cancelled because the Anointed One is gone. In fact, we have bigger problems than the Anointed One," I told them with a grim tone. "A new Master Vampire is in town. I don't know who he is, but I do know he is powerful and old. Older than me even. He is familiar with vampire customs and I believe he can garner extreme loyalty to his minions, almost as well as The Master."

 

Upon my mentioning The Master, everyone visibly flinched. I can see that my information has impacted everyone in the room.

  
  
"What makes you say this Angel?" Giles, ever the Watcher and ever cautious of me, asked.

  
  
I gave a detailed account of what I’d found, how I’d found it, and only omitted the parts I knew Buffy wouldn't like; the parts that presented me as a demon. I told them everything up to the part where I found the two vamps last night buying blood.

  
  
"Buying pig's blood? Why would they be buying pig's blood? Is it some sort of vampire ritual thing?" Buffy asked.

  
  
"If it is, it's not one I know of," I told her.

  
  
"Okay, let's do a recap. First there's a new master vamp in town that's much older than Angel, then there is this Night of Saint Vigeous deal, where all vamps gets a major power up, then there is the possibility that the said new master vamp is gonna lead super powered up vamps to attack us in full force. I'm not missing anything aren't I?" No one disagreed with the boy. "Um, shouldn't we be thinkin': vacation?"

  
  
"We can't run, that would be wrong. Could we hide?" Willow suggested, "I mean if this new vamp is powerful enough to give Angel the wiggins, and he's leading the attack…” Willow visibly shuddered. “I’m sorry, was that audible?”

  
  
"I'm sure he's no worse than any of the other creature you've faced," Giles told Buffy, trying to sound optimistic while his face said otherwise.

  
  
"I'm sure we can take care of it. We can all work on it together. But first as I said I'd prefer to focus on the now, like the Parent-Teacher Assembly tonight. Giles, we'll think on how to deal with this new threat the whole day tomorrow. Just let me get through tonight." Her words were so filled with finality that it gave even the Watcher no room for dispute.

 

Reluctantly he nodded.

 

"Everyone, let's meet up again tomorrow. Willow, Ms. Calendar do you think you guys can complete that spell by then? It would be mighty useful when we fight against those vamps," she told the two women.

  
  
"We'll do our best," Willow said looking determined.

  
  
I watched her designate tasks to her Watcher and friends, and I couldn’t help but admire her as she did it. It was moments like these where I couldn't help but remember that she was indeed the Slayer. It made me lose all my doubts about my destiny, and I believed that I would find my redemption if I just stuck with her.

  
  
"We were at the Bronze last night. I thought you would show, but I guess you've been busy." She addressed me directly this time, surprising me out of my musing.

  
  
I stared at her for a moment, hoping to see that love-struck look she always gave me, but this time I saw indifference in her eyes. It made me worried that I might've done something to her for her to act this way towards me.

  
  
"I was. And I'm sorry," I told her, putting my best apologetic look, complete with puppy-dog eyes, that seemed to get her every time.

  
  
"I know," she said, her gaze softening. "Thank you for going out your way in finding this information for us, Angel. I know it couldn’t have been easy." She smiled at me for the first time since I arrived, making me think that finally everything was alright.

  
  
I returned her smile with a smaller one of my own and replied. "Your welcome, Buffy. I'm always happy to help."

  
  
We stood there staring at each other, smiling, losing our thoughts in the moment. Of course it had to ended badly as Harris supplied a comment I couldn't help but pay attention to.

  
  
"And there they go again, lost in each other's worlds. Just when I was beginning to think that the Buffster had finally decided to take interest in the living variety of people," the boy muttered.

  
  
"What?" I asked glaring at him, before reverting my gaze back to Buffy. She was suddenly looking at everything but me. "What does he mean?" I asked her.

  
  
"Nothing important. Right Xander?" she shot a look at the boy that made him nod vigorously at me.

  
  
"I see." I said, not sounding convinced.

  
  
Buffy turned away from me before I could question her any further. I immediately knew that the discussion was over and she didn't want to talk about. So I respected her wish and let it go for now.

  
  
"By the way, guys, I need help for the Parent-Teacher Night too, if that’s not too much to ask," she said, addressing her friends.

  
  
"Sure Buff, what do you need?" Willow asked, also avoiding looking at me. It made me think that everyone in this little band of youngsters knew what was going on with Buffy except me.

  
  
"Nothing of importance really, besides help in keeping my mom away from Principal Snyder tonight."

  
  
They discussed it more, but I had already had enough of listening to them prattle while knowing that the group was not willing to tell me what was really up. Slinking back into the shadows, I blended into the background until I was back behind the stack of books where I had waited earlier.

  
  
"That's it, I'm putting a collar with a little bell on that guy," Harris' voice echoed through the library, putting a smile on my face. I’d like to see him try.  
  
****

 

**TBC**

 

**(O.O)**


	7. Destiny's Plan is set in Action

**(O.O)**

**  
  
Drusilla**

  
  
"I know something you don't know." I sing-songed in my head as I listened to Grandmummy rant in my room of the large house we had purchased here in Sunnydale.

  
  
It was funny seeing Grandmummy fuss about William. She has been doing so since my Spike had came back from seeing the sunshine last night.

 

She’d been so angry at first when he’d returned. She’d even threatened to chain him in the basement, the naughty boy, but when William apologized, her whole tune changed. She’d started to fret and worry because that wasn’t like my Spike at all.

 

Every time she turned around she’d be asking him about what’d happened, but William either said nothing or just gave her a little enigmatic smile. He didn’t get angry at all, which just wasn’t like him.

 

He was always fighting with her, arguing about the smallest details. The lack of animosity from him was really bothering her, because she knew it must mean something was wrong.

  
  
She thinks something happened when he saw the Slayer last night and that he just won’t tell us about it. Darla’s consternation made me giggle because she was right: something did happen!

 

Something I had been telling my William for years and years that would happen to him one day, and now it has. Only Grandmummy didn’t know that.

 

Nope. She didn’t know and I wasn’t telling. It's not my secret so she’ll have to wait until William understood what had happened and then wait until he was ready to tells us himself.

  
  
Grandmummy was walking around grumpy about William’s secret, but I’d better tell her to change her tune. She wasn’t singing about the right things.

  
  
"He's going to be alright," I told her so she would stop pacing. She was making me dizzy with all that walking back and forth and back and forth. "Don't worry about our Spike, he can handle himself. It's Daddy we need to worry about. He doesn't know. Why doesn't he know we have the spark like he does? Is that why he left us?"

  
  
My questions went unanswered. After I asked, Grandmummy stared at me with pain filled eyes and left my room. I'm not mad at her, not at all. I’d known the answer to my questions all along anyway. It was the pixies who told me that I was mad at.

 

Naughty, naughty pixies, spilling Grandmummy's secret without permission! Ms. Edith was crossed!!

  
  
I then heard a knock in the door. It was one of the minions. He was here to give me my blood. I told him to enter, and he looked around nervously.

 

They were all nervous around the three of us, and I never could understand why. It's not like we would kill them. We didn't kill minions who served us. Not unless they’d broken any of the three important rules.

  
  
No hunting, no feeding and no killing.

  
  
They were simple, and if they were followed, then we had no reason to harm any of our minions. It had been William's idea to utilize the fledglings that always seem so abundant. We got them to serve under us and then stopped them from doing evil. We gave our blood to those who’d chosen to serve. It strengthened their loyalty to our family. Those that refused to serve were hunted down and dusted. If they were smart they’d leave before we had the chance.

 

Simple and effective. This was the best way to deal with vampires around small towns like Sunnydale. Also, it helped the town once we left. The minions we put under our service would remain loyal until such time some other older and stronger vampire would try and take control of them. Only that rarely happens, meaning that those vampires would continuously follow our rules even long after we were gone from that town. They would stop hunting, feeding and killing. There were even times when they would start fighting demons and saving people from other vampires that’d come to their town because that's what we did and what we’d taught them to do. It was an amazing thing that we’d accomplished: converting the demonic nature of vampires and getting them to fight for good. It was almost a miracle, and was only possible because of the system my William had come up with. He well deserved his upcoming reward.

  
  
I could hear that my William was at it again. He was instructing some of the fledglings on how to fight in the training room downstairs. He did that sometimes, when he was restless during the day.

 

If he couldn’t sleep than nobody could.

 

Usually he waited till we’d been in a town longer to begin training them, just enough time for the minions to have proven that they were indeed loyal and worthy of learning what he had to teach. The skills would serve them well when it was time for us to move on again. If he was already drilling them in this early stage it just showed how troubled he was.

 

Problems of the heart were always the hardest ones to resolve.

  
  
I giggled into my hand. No one knew his heart was involved except me. Not even William himself. He shouldn’t feel so unsettled about this girl though.

 

After all, what's happening was meant to happen. It was written in the stars long before he was born.

  
  
Knowing it was destined didn’t keep me from being saddened that Prophecy had already started and that I was now slowly losing my William. I knew he was not mine to begin with and that I’d merely been keeping him company until this girl had arrived. I still ached inside.

  
  
"Mistress Drusilla, is everything alright?" the minion, I think his name was Dalton, asked me. "Are you hurting? Shall I call Mistress Darla and Master Spike?"

  
  
"No, no, I’m fine. I'm not in pain. No need to fuss, and no need to call Grandmummy or my Spike. I was only thinking of something sad just now, that's all." I gave him a small, tired smile.

  
  
The minion looked concerned. It was funny seeing such emotion from a soulless vampire. He reminds me of how my Spike was when he’d been newly turned. He’d retained so much of his human self that I’d thought I’d made him wrong.

 

Thankfully I’d been concerned over nothing; William was just different. He was just more human than other vamps. He’d learned how to hide it over the years, but of course there still were moments when the humanity would shine through like a brilliant ray of sun in the darkness. This minion, Dalton, was like that, and it made me like him more. I’d remember his name next time.

  
  
"Do you want to play with me?" I asked him. "I love having tea parties with Ms. Edith and the rest of my dollies. It's more fun when someone else drinks with us. William is busy, and Grandmummy is always too preoccupied to play with me. I'm alone and I want to play. Will you play with me?"

 

He looked first surprised at my invitation, and then nervous again. Maybe he didn’t like playing dollies. Too bad.

 

"You don't have to play with me if you don't want. I won't hold it against you. You must want to join William's training session downstairs, you can go. I can feed myself," I told him while I took the glass of pig's blood to prove my point.

  
  
I made a face as the stuff went down my throat. I never could get used to the taste of swine. It was horrible, but beggars can't be choosers, as Grandmummy would say.

 

At least for dinner tonight we were going to be having human blood. The local hospital had to throw away unused blood once it was past its expiration date. We’d buy the bags on the black market whenever we could and had lucked out when we’d first arrived.

  
  
I looked at Dalton in confusion. He hadn’t left the room. Why was he still here?

  
  
"If you don't hurry you won't be able to follow what William is teaching," I told him.

  
  
"I--I'm not going to join their training," he stuttered quietly, making me even more confused. He must've seen it on my face because he hastened to explain. "I'm not re-really good at fighting. In fact I-I d-on't really like to fight. The Anointed One only had me turned be-because they needed me to translate old texts for them. I'm a linguist from the local university. They t-turned me for my skills in language. I don't do well with vi-violence despite being a vampire. S-so I won't be joining them."

  
  
"I see," I said with a smile. It made me like him even more.

  
  
"I--I w-was thinking of pl-playing with you. If you still want to." He dropped his eyes to the floor, unsure of my reaction.

 

I wondered if he’d had a family before he’d been turned. Maybe a daughter that he missed. The pixies were dancing around my head.

  
  
"I do still want to play. But I am thinking of playing dress-up this time. We can play with my dollies and change their clothes. Are you alright with that?"

  
  
"Yes, I am," he said with a smile.

  
  
I asked him to get my dollies and their dresses from my trunk. When he came back we started playing. I brushed the hairs of my dollies starting with Ms. Edith, while Dalton picked the dresses for them.

  
  
It was fun playing with Dalton, he talked to my dollies like I do. And I can tell he was having fun too, and I knew why for sure by then.

  
  
"Your daughter misses you," I told him quietly as I changed Ms. Edith's dress again. "She still keeps those flower crowns she made for you. She placed them inside her box of treasure."

  
  
"How did you-"

  
  
"I'm sorry. It was the pixies who told me. They don't know when not to tell me secrets. You can get angry at them. I do sometimes."

 

He didn't say anything, only looked at me with sad eyes. I bent down to hear Ms. Edith’s whispers and passed the message on once she was done.

 

"Your daughter loves you and hopes you are happy where you are. She promised to be a good girl and watch over her mummy. You should be proud of her." I smiled at him and he gave me one back.

  
  
"I am," Dalton said right before William entered our room. His Master’s sudden appearance surprised Dalton and made him drop one of my doll's hair brush on the floor with a loud clatter. "I-I'm sorry.”" He quickly picked up the brush and placed it on my bed before excusing himself and leaving the room.

  
  
I pouted, crossed my arms and glared at my Spike.

  
  
"You scared him off," I scolded. Spike only chuckled.

  
  
"He's a vampire. He's not supposed to be afraid of anything. But in my defense I had no idea you weren't alone," he said as he approached my bed and sat on the side.

  
  
"He's not just a vampire, his name is Dalton, and he, I and Ms. Edith have become good friends. You should apologize to him before he becomes afraid and won’t play with us anymore."

  
  
William looked angry because he doesn't like it when I show interest in other vampires beside himself and Grandmummy. Before the soul, I would have said he acted like a jealous lover, but with the soul he does it because he's being an overprotective big brother.

  
  
William and I never again saw each other as lovers after our souls were returned to us. We hadn’t even been intimate since that fateful day. It had just felt wrong for the two of us. Incestuous. We loved each other though, and we cared deeply about what happened to each other.

  
  
I’ve never really had to worry about him and his heart because I’ve always known William was destined for someone special- his soul mate. He himself believed that he’d never fallen in love because he’d been too deeply scarred by that horrible shrew Cecily.

 

Of course that wasn’t true anymore, not since last night when he first saw the Slayer. He didn’t know yet that he’d lost his heart, and I wouldn’t tell him. He needed to suss it out for himself.

  
  
"You shouldn't be playing anyway," he said crossly. "You're supposed to be resting." He picked up my dollies and their dresses and put them back in the trunk.

  
  
"All I do is rest, ever since we arrived in this town. I was bored and I wanted to play. You and Grandmummy were busy and Dalton was here, so we played. Don't fault him for it, and don't you dare be angry with him, he's just my friend," I whined at him.

  
  
He laughed, my William, and it made me angry. He was always doing that: treating me like a child. I was the older vampire of the two of us and it irritated me to no end.

  
  
"Don't laugh!" I yelled at him.

  
  
"I'm sorry, pet. But I couldn't help it. You're just so adorable when you are angry," he smirked at me.

  
  
"Whatever," I snapped, looking away from him. I was still angry.

  
  
He sighed and slowly wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a gentle hug.

  
  
"I'm sorry Dru, really. I was messing with you, you know that, luv." I did know. "If it makes you feel better I'll apologize to that minion and tell him that he can come and play with you anytime you want."

  
  
I turned to face him and smiled brilliantly. I’d had forgiven him.

  
  
Ooooh...

  
  
It hurts...

  
  
I moaned in pain. William immediately jumped up, aware I was feeling unwell again. He gently helped me to lay down and pulled the sheets up to my chin. Taking the wet wash cloth on the nightstand beside my bed he wiped my forehead with it. I was burning up inside again with the fever. No vampire should be able to do that. Everything was hurting again.

  
  
Mummy. I want my mummy.

  
  
"You're gonna be alright, Dru. We're gonna find a way to help you. You're gonna be back to your usual playful self in no time. Then we can go hunt naughty vampires together and save towns and people from demons like we used to. Just hang on, pet. Everything's gonna be alright." He was trying to be comforting. Whether he was trying to convince me or himself, I couldn't tell. I was in too much pain to think.

  
  
"It hurts, my Spike. It hurts so much. When is daddy going be here?" I ask whimpered. My mind was lost in fevered haze.

 

He didn’t answer me, and that's when I realized the implication of what I’d said.

 

"William don't-" I tried to stop him as he got up from my bed.

 

He was going to do something reckless and stupid again. I couldn’t make him listen. Instead he walked out of my room, leaving me alone again with only my thoughts and visions for company.

  
  
"Dammit William," I cursed as I writhed in pain.

  
  
I rarely swore. Something that’d been true even when I was soulless. Grandmummy said William cursed enough for us both. Over the years though, I’d found the occasional swear word to be oddly helpful in expressing my displeasure when it comes to William. I blamed Grandmummy for this as she's the one who loves to curse when William does something idiotic.

  
  
William. God’s blood! He's not supposed to meet with daddy just yet. Nor is he supposed to see the Slayer tonight either. Now, because of my big mouth, he was going to. I'd seen it, and it didn’t end well for him. Sacré blue!

  
  
I was fuming and in too much pain to notice the door opening and Dalton reentering my room.

  
  
"Mistress Drusilla, Master Spike told me to come and sit with you," he whispered, alerting me to his presence.

  
  
"Dalton! Thank heavens you are here. You need to call Grandmummy. Tell her William is going to do something stupid and is on his way to see daddy. She needs to stop him, it's not time for us to meet just yet!" I told the other vampire urgently.

 

Only he just looked at me in confusion, apparently not understanding the gravity of the situation.

 

So I had to raise my voice to get my point across. "Go to Grandmummy and tell her William left to see daddy! She needs to stop him! Go now, Dalton! Please!" I begged.

  
Finally realizing the importance of my command he hurriedly left my room to find Grandmummy. Once he’d gone I felt drained. I curled up under the sheets and closed my eyes to rest.

 

I was still worried about what would happen, but not quite as much as before. Grandmummy would be there with William when he finally met up with daddy. The secret will come out, and everything will fall into place at last.

  
  
I hummed softly despite the pain. It was nice. I loved humming and it calmed me down. Ms. Edith was humming along with with me. That's good, I adored it when Ms. Edith hummed. She gave me peace and kept those nasty pixies away. Time to sleep now, by the end of the night all the secrets would be revealed and my family would be whole again.  
  
Humming...  
  
Humming...  
  
Humming...  
  
Goodnight.  
  
****

 

**TBC**

 

 

 **(O.O)**  



	8. The Meeting of Champions part 1

**Note: _Italized_ words are Buffy's personal/Slayer thoughts. Some dialog taken from School Hard by Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt.  
  
  
(O.O)**

**  
  
Darla**

  
  
Unadulterated anger.

 

That was what I was feeling towards my charge at this very moment. I should've made good on my threat to chain the boy up when he came back from seeing the Slayer last night. Had I done that, this night would be going much better than it was.

 

Only no- I’d had to fall for William’s strange, silent and contemplative behavior and had wasted my time actually feeling worried about the boy.

 

God damn him.

  
  
I swear if Angelus and the Slayer did not dust him, then I would! Of course I would not do it before I'd tortured the moronic bastard and made him apologize for making Dru worried and making me walk all around town in six inch heels. I regretted wearing them now, despite how much I loved them when I bought them, and I blame William for it.

 

If they got ruined, I was so going to make William pay for them. Red patent leather and mud were not a good combination.

  
  
I’d been searching for him for nearly two hours now, trying to follow his lingering scent. The whole thing was complicated by the fact I had to keep anyone from recognizing me. Preferably they wouldn’t even see me. I kept going until I caught a whiff of a stronger and more recent trail from my Great-Grandchilder. I ran, though it was not an easy task in heels, following the scent and making sure I didn't lose the damn thing.

  
  
The smell led me to Sunnydale High, which didn’t surprise me. After all, he was looking for Angelus, and Angelus was helping out the Slayer, who went to school here.

 

As I got nearer the school's premises I noticed all the lights off.

 

That was odd. Usually at least a few were left on for security, and the parking lot was full of cars, suggesting quite a few people were still at the school. So what’d happened to the power?

  
  
I got my answer when I saw three fledges standing guard in front of the school entrance. They were armed with a variety of weapons and their demons were visible on their faces. It was obvious that the school was under attack by vampires, and stupid vampires at that.

 

Why on Earth would they attack the school of the Slayer? Were they suicidal?

  
  
I sighed. Vampires were not what they had used to be. Had they started removing the brains along with the soul now?

  
  
I didn't want anything to do with these idiots, but I knew William was inside, because his scent was getting stronger as I got nearer. I had no choice but to approach the group standing at the entrance.

  
  
I walked gracefully towards the door, swaying my hips and flaunting my assets to get the attention of the three vampires. They were awestruck, I could tell. These boys must not have seen a real woman in their entire existence. They were letting their guards down, lowering their weapons as I got closer.

 

Stupid vampires, indeed.

  
  
Their moment of distraction was more enough for me to launch my attack. I took the stakes that I’d hidden at my back and simultaneously dusted the two vamps closest to me. The third one was in too much shock to do anything except gape as he quickly joined his companions.

  
  
I returned one stake to its hiding spot and kept the other in my hand while I slowly opened the door and entered the building. Once inside I closed my eyes to get a feel for the demonic signatures scattered throughout the school. It was a skill I had honed over the years. I could tell how many demons and of what kind were in any given area.

  
  
I counted fifteen vampires inside the building, excluding myself. Two of them had an older, stronger signature indicating that they were master vampires. I immediately knew who they were based on familiarity. William was the hot and erratic signature while I knew Angelus, despite how long it had been since I’d sensed him, owned the cold and smooth one. The two signatures were close to each other. William was either close to Angelus or was already with him.

  
  
I cursed loudly and hurriedly walked to their direction.

  
  
**(O.O)**

**  
  
Buffy**

  
  
Sheila's a vampire now.

 

_Yay!_

 

To top it off she was attacking the school with her own little vampire army. I wish I could say I was surprised. My life since I became the Slayer has been nothing but things going bad for me. I’m almost used to it.

 

I just wished that the bad things would never have to involve my mom. I hated it when that happened. Her being there made me ten times more worried and a hundred time more afraid. Tonight was a prime example.

  
Earlier everything was so going okay-ish. Well not everything. That troll, Snyder, had been able to corner my mom despite the combined efforts of me and friends. My not too terrible night had gone to hell when Sheila, the latest ho-bag…oops, I mean Big Bad…had to ruin things for me. It was bad enough that I had to spend three days preparing the lounge for this shindig, without her help, but she just had to go get turned and ruin the night for me too.

 

It just wasn’t fair.

  
  
I had just left my mom, a couple of other parents, a student and Snyder barricaded in the Science classroom. I told them to wait for my signal before coming out and making a run to safety. I silently snuck through the hallways, looking for any signs of the attacking vampires. I peered around a corner and saw only one vampire standing guard over the library entrance. I ducked back out of sight and took out one of the stakes from inside my weapon bag.

 

A squeak came from behind me. I turned, ready to attack, but stopped short when I recognized who was there.

  
  
"Jimmy?" I said identifying the boy as a Chemistry classmate of mine. He’d been out sick from class the last three days.

  
  
_He’d sure picked a great time to show up._

  
  
"Hey, Buffy. What the hell's going on? I came here to pick up my missed assignments and saw a bunch of guys outside with really scary faces.” He wrung his hands and looked around wide eyed.

  
  
"Yeah, well they're trying to kill us," I told him. "Now stay here while I try to find us a way out."

  
  
Instead of listening to me he picked up the axe from the weapon bag wearing a very serious expression.

  
  
"You're going to need help," he said with a nervous chuckle. It made me smile.

  
  
_Under normal circumstances, I'd say no, but I need all the help I can get._

  
  
I nodded and turned back towards the corner, ready to attack the vamp guarding the library door. He still had his back turn from me, I silently crept behind him, raising my stake preparing to dust him.

  
  
Then I heard Giles voice from the library door's porthole, "Buffy look out!"

  
  
I immediately spun around and grabbed the ax from Jimmy mid-swing. I reverse the momentum and smack him in the jaw with the butt of the handle. He went down hard.

 

The other vampire standing guard finally noticed me and rushed to attack. He ducked an overhand blow and the ax ends up getting buried in the wall. The vampire smiled as he straightened back up, thinking he had avoided my blow, but then he looked down. There was a stake protruding from his chest. He collapsed to the floor and busted into ashes. I looked over at Jimmy only to watch him as he fled. I saw no point in running after him, so I rushed back to the Science classroom where mom and the others were waiting.

  
  
"Mom, now!" I yelled at her from the broken window.

  
  
Mom opened the door. "Okay, come on, let's go!"

  
  
Everyone rushed out of the classroom and across the hall into the library.

  
  
"Get them out!" I hollered to Giles. I needed to know my mom was safe. Giles nodded his understanding.

  
  
"You're coming too!" my mom hissed at me while grabbing my arm.

  
  
I looked at her, wishing with all my heart that I could just leave the school to its fate, but in the next instant I shook the desire off. I had a job to do.

  
  
"In a minute! Now go!" I tell her, gently easing her hand from my bicep. Without a backwards glance I headed back into the bowels of the school.

  
  
"Buffy!" She called, her voice breaking. I ignored her. I had to in order to focus, otherwise I’d end up dead.

  
  
I ran towards the lounge where I guessed Sheila and the rest of her cronies were holed up.

  
  
I steeled myself for the fight ahead, desperately hoping it wouldn’t be my last.

  
  
_Please don’t it be my last._

  
  
**(O.O)**

**  
  
Xander**

  
  
"I really should have stayed in the library with Giles."

  
  
I thought as I pounded down the sidewalk to get Angel like Giles had asked me to. Not that I wanted to invite Dead Boy to the party, but I figured having an old, super strong vampire on our side would be a big plus. There seemed to be a whole Army of Darkness trying to take over the school and we were going to need all the help we could get.

  
  
Luckily for me and my lungs I ran into tall, dark, and broody himself not a block from the school. He looked a little pale, even by vampire standards, but it wasn't the time to ask him if he’d been eating well. Instead I told him about the situation the best I could between my gasping attempts to get enough air into my lungs.

  
  
"So, um... you got a plan?" I asked after I’d briefed him. He grabbed me by the throat. "Uh, good plan?" I squeaked as he dragged me into the school.

 

We threaded our way through the hallways until we ran into a familiar face. I stared in confusion. It was the guy Buffy had danced with the other night at the Bronze. Weirdly enough it looked like he was fighting a couple of the vamps that’d attacked the school.

  
  
"Angelus!" the guy greeted Angel with a smile that didn’t seem to reach his eyes.

  
  
Angel wrapped his arm around my neck none too gently. "Spike!" he grunted the guy's name.

  
  
"Just the guy I was looking for," the blond said while staking one of the vampires.

  
  
"What are you doing here, Spike?" Angel’s grip on my neck was becoming steadily more uncomfortable.

  
  
"Ain't it obvious, I'm killing some vamps." Spike punctuated the statement by slamming his stake into the chest of the second vampire who exploded into a cloud of ash.

  
  
Spike made a show of dusting himself off and straightens his black coat before turning to face the two of us.

  
  
"I'll ask you again, Spike, what are you doing here?" Angel repeated.

  
  
"I already answered your bloody question, Angelus. Now how ‘bout answering mine. What are you doing with the whelp in your arms?" he asked, pointing to me. "I thought you're working with the Slayer. So how come you have your arms around one of her mates and are looking like yer 'bout to have yourself a snack?"

  
  
Angel was so surprised that it made him ease his grip on my neck a little. I could breathe. Hooray!

  
  
"So you finally decided to show your true colors, huh? I knew that Anne Rice vampire routine you've been playing wouldn't last long," Spike continued.

  
  
"For the last time, Spike, what are you doing here?" Angel growled.

  
  
"You really want to know Angelus?" He paused waiting for Angel to answer but the big guy stayed silent. "Alright. How 'bout letting the boy go first, then I tell you everything."

  
  
"How do I know you won't just take him for yourself?" Angel shook me, making my teeth click together.

  
  
"Because unlike you Angelus, I actually keep my word. I promise I won't touch the boy once you let him go."

  
  
"You're a demon, Spike, you don't keep your word.”

  
  
Spike’s whole body goes ridged.

 

"Do you want answers or not?! Because I assure we don't have all bloody night to stand here and chit chat. The Slayer’s going to crash this party anytime now and she’ll kill the two of us without batting an eye. So you better decide Angelus, because I need to get back before Great-Grandmum starts looking for me."

  
  
"Great-Grandmum? Darla's here?" I can't even begin to identify the emotions rolling through Angel’s voice as he asked that question.

  
  
"I told you: let the boy go and I'll tell you everything."

  
  
Angel released me and pushed me roughly aside, his eyes never leaving the blond guy. I stared at the two of them, not understanding what was happening. They obviously knew each other and the guy knew that Buffy's the Slayer. What the hell was going on?

  
  
Whoa. Rewind. Angel had called the other guy a demon.

  
  
Blondie was a demon? Since when? Was he already one when he danced with the Buffster last night? How does he know Angel? And who the heck is Darla?

  
  
The two guys were doing a Wild West stand off like this was a Clint Eastwood movie instead of a hallway at Sunnydale High. No one talked, no one moved and no one breathed. They just stared.

  
  
I was beginning to think of telling the two to start whatever they were planning to start, but I didn't have a chance because the shorter blond guy sucker punched Angel.

 

Under other circumstances I would've cheered brood boy getting staggered like that, but I was too scared to say anything.

 

Spike guy landed another punch, then another. After being hit several more times Angel finally got his act together and side stepped to launch a counter attack. His fist hit its mark, sending the smaller guy flying towards a row of chairs. Spike landed hard then scrambled up, grabbing one of the chairs and hurling it at Angel. The big guy knocked it out of the air, but it was enough of a distraction that Spike had been able to slip through his defenses and knock Angel off his feet with a roundhouse kick. Blondie didn't hesitate and immediately ran to where Angel had landed. Then he sat on top of him with a stake in his hand and held it to the skin over Angel's undead heart.

  
  
"Shit!" I gasped.

  
  
I knew I had to do something to help dead boy, because Buffy would never forgive me if I let anything happen to the undead wonder. I looked around for something to hit the guy with and saw another chairs laying knocked over on the floor only a few feet from me. I snatched it up and sneaked towards where the blond guy was on top of Angel. I raised the chair and braced myself to strike.  
  
"Don't even think about it, boy.” Spike said without turning around. “Try hitting me with that thing and I might accidentally push this stake into dear old Granddaddy's shriveled up walnut of a heart." I froze in mid-swing. He twisted his head slightly to the side, just enough to for him and me to get a good look at each other, and I nearly needed a new pair of undies. "Now how 'bout you put that chair down and stand over there by the lockers.” He gestured towards where he meant with his chin. “Me and Peaches here still need to get a few things straightened out before your friendly, neighborhood Slayer shows up. It’d be a tragedy if anything were to happen to you before then."

 

He watched me to make sure I did as he said, and then centered his focus back on Angel, who hadn’t so much as twitched since getting pinned.

 

"Isn't this ironic, Angelus? A hundred or so years ago, I was on the other end of this stake and you were holding it, threatening to dust me if I didn't listen to you. Looks like now I am the Master." He chuckles at his own joke, but I don’t think Angel gets it.

  
  
"What do you want, Spike?" Angel sounds exasperated.

  
  
"What do I want? Ha! Ain't this just neat?"

 

Spike threw his head back and laughed for a second before suddenly becoming deadly serious again.

 

"What I want, Angelus, is to dust your arrogant ass, for everything you've ever done to us, or in recent case, haven't done for us! We were your family! You were my Sire, man! You were like...my Yoda!"

 

He wildly gestures with his free hand for emphasis.

 

"I can't believe you abandon us after what happened! Dru and I nearly dusted ourselves. We were so close to the abyss and you weren't there to catch us! Especially Dru! You made her insane and you couldn't watch over her like a real Sire. You're a bastard, Angelus and you deserve to die."

  
  
Spike shook with anger. His free hand had grabbed the one holding the stake and it looked as if he was at war with himself over dusting Angel.

  
  
"Then why don't ya, laddie? Put that wee toothpick to good use and end me miserable existance," Angel said in a rough Irish brogue I’d never heard him use before.

  
  
"Oh, I’d love to. Believe me I do. Hell, I’d throw a bloody party and use your ashes as confetti, you git. Only I won’t, or more accurately I can’t.”

  
  
"Why?" Angel’s brow creased.

  
  
"Because Dru needs you," he said is so quietly that I almost wasn't able to hear.

  
  
Then he stands up, hides the stake and offers a hand to Angel to help him up. I saw dead boy hesitate for a split second before reaching up and grasping it with his own. Spike pulled him to his feet. Once standing Angel turned away from Spike and started straightening out his jacket and dusting off the dirt he’d got on it while he’d been laying on the floor.

  
  
I snorted. Leave it to Angel to care whether he had a little dirt on him after nearly being dust himself. I looked at Spike and saw him roll his eyes at Angel's antics.

 

Well at least I wasn't alone with the Angel bashing. It made me crack a little smile. Maybe this mysterious guy wasn't as bad as he looked like. After all, it seemed like he hated Angel's guts as much as I do, and any guy who doesn't fall for the sad puppy dog eyes routine is so okay in my book, even if might be a demon too.

  
  
Demon. I took a good look at the guy and I couldn’t see anything remotely demon-y about him. No horns, scales, or cloven hooves. I know demons, I've seen a lot of them, and this guy doesn’t fit. Apart from the black on black punk look he's rocking and general ‘I can kill you vibe,’ he looks like your average human guy.

 

Okay, not average. Your very attractive human guy. Well, not that I can say I'm attracted to him, but more like I can understand why Buffy kept calling him Mr. Hottie. Aside from looks he also felt human in some way I couldn’t quite put into words, plus there was the bonus Angel hatred. The guy was total confusing.

  
  
Angel finally finished beautifying himself and looked like he was close to hitting Spike again when we heard a loud scream coming from the Student Lounge. The three of us looked at each other, but it was Spike that took off running towards the commotion.

  
  
Angel and I followed two seconds later, only to come skidding to a stop at the sight of Buffy being held by two vamps while Sheila held a large, bloody knife to the stomach of Mr. McKee, our Algebra professor. Six other vampires were arranged in a semicircle around them. Besides Buffy there was another hostage, but the woman looked like she was already half dead. Then feral yellow eyes all turned towards us.

  
  
And the only thought that came to me at the moment was...

  
  
"I really should have stayed in the library with Giles."  
  
****

 

 

 

**TBC**

 

 

**(O.O)**


	9. The Meeting of Champions part 2

**Note: _Italized_ words are Buffy's personal/Slayer thoughts.**

**(O.O)**

**Buffy**

_Well this sucked._

Being restrained by two vampires, while Sheila practiced her “skills” as a doctor on poor Mr. McKee, was not what I’d imagined happening on Parent-Teacher Night.

 

I was angry and frustrated at the fact that I’d gotten caught so easily. I’d been sure I was going die when she had shown me this big, scary looking knife, but then she’d had her minions drag the poor teacher towards her. I hadn't liked the look of things on what was about to happen and had struggled to break free of the minions' grasp.

 

Only they were a lot stronger than they looked.

 

_Stupid vamps._

 

The teacher’s agonizing screams assaulted me while I’d been forced to watch what she’d done to him.  I seethed at being rendered unable to help myself or him. It was a nightmare, or it had been before the three men in front of me had shown up.

 

It had been a surprise to see them, well I was only really surprised by the appearance of only one of them. I had expected Angel and Xander to come to my rescue, may be even Giles, but Mr. Hottie I’d just met at the Bronze last night?

 

Now that was just mind blowing.

 

I mean what the heck was he even doing here anyway, and did he expect to be able to do anything to a bunch of vampires? I was shocked and a little worried for my guy. Not that he was actually mine, I mean he isn't mine, not yet I mean-

 

Oookay, I was babbling, but I couldn’t help it. It was an eensy bit terrifying to be in the enemy's hands when my only hope were two regular guys and a soulled vampire.

 

"How 'bout you let the Slayer and that poor and mostly dead bloke go, then maybe me and Angelus over here might consider letting some of you bastards live long enough to get staked another day?" Mr. Hottie said in his sexy British accent as he pointed at himself and Angel.

 

_Angelus? Why would he call Angel that?_

 

"Just who the hell are you to think you are?” one of Sheila's minions, the big bulky one, snarled.  “What the hell gives you the right to order us around?"

 

I don't know how, but Mr. Hottie went from where he was standing to dusting the bulky minion in a blink of an eye. He twirled the wooden stake he’d used before stowing it back in the pocket of his coat.

 

"Name's Spike. I'm the new Big Bad to all of you “Big Bads” in town," he glared at the remaining vamps.

 

I wasn't completely sure but I could've sworn I saw his blue eyes shift to yellow for a second, but that didn't matter because overall he looked like a badass, an extremely sexy badass.

 

Sheila's minions shrunk back from him, but the lead psycho vamp didn’t seem to know what was good for her.

 

"Idiots! There are just three of them! Don't be sissies, and just kill them!" she screamed at the five remaining vamps that weren't holding me.

 

They charged to attack the three men. Angel and "Spike", _I'm really gonna miss calling him Mr. Hottie,_ each took on two of Sheila's remaining vampire minions, which left Xander facing just one. I knew Angel would be fine and Spike quickly showed he knew a ton about brawling against vamps, but Xander was a different story.

 

The vamp that he was fighting soon got the upper hand and was tossing Xander around like a rag doll. I struggled with my captors, but I couldn't escape them. Helplessly I watched as the vamp grabbed Xander by the head and started to twist.

 

"Xander!" I screamed, thrashing against the hands that held me.

 

I gasped in surprise when the vampire attacking my friend crumbled to dust, sending Xander crashing to the floor. Spike had already finished with his two opponents and had slayed the vampire who’d been about to kill my friend. I sagged in relief.

 

Xander was thanking Spike profusely. Had I been free I would have done the same, only with a lot more hugs and kisses.

 

_Y’know, to show how grateful I was._

 

I looked around and saw that Angel had taken care of his opponents too, leaving only Sheila and the two vampires holding me. My captors realized they were outnumbered and their hold on my arms loosened. I yanked free and turned around to deck one with a haymaker to the jaw and I sent the other one sprawling with a sharp kick to the gut. Freeing the stake hidden in the waistband of my jeans I dusted them both before they even started to recover.

 

I straightened up and turned to face Sheila, the last vampire left standing. She looked scared, and that was good, she should've known better than to attack me when I was with my mom and friends. I took a measured step towards her and my grip on the stake tightened. She panicked and picked up Mr. McKee's unconscious form and dragged him to the corner.

 

"Don't come any closer Buffy, or I swear I will kill this guy and his death will be on your hands!" Sheila hunched over my teacher’s body, claws at his throat.

 

"You really want to go that way, pet? Taking a dying hostage isn't gonna save you tonight," Spike said and sounded bored. He scratched one cheek with the stake he was holding.

 

"Shut up, you punk ass reject! I'm not talking to you!" she snapped at him.

 

Spike growled, the sound rumbling deep in his chest, and again his eyes swirled from blue to gold and back. I guess he wasn’t as human as I’d thought.

 

_But that would explain the animalistic attraction._

 

I wrenched my brain back to the here and now, and saw Sheila slowly backing up towards the corner of the hallway. If she made it there it was a short shot to one of the exits. I knew she was trying to escape and I couldn’t let her. I took a step towards her.

 

"I said not to come any closer! You really want to add this guy to the list of people you couldn't save, Summers?" her voice shrilled.

 

Again I stopped. She was right, I didn’t want to add Mr. McKee to that list. However Angel, Spike, and Xander were still moving closer to her.

 

"Tell them to stop too!" Sheila hissed while wrapping her hand around the teacher’s neck again.

 

I grabbed the back of Angel's jacket and Xander's shirt, stopping them in mid-step and shifting their attention towards me. I shook my head indicating them not to do what they were thinking. Spike looked back at us and I shot him a disapproving glare. He shrugged, but halted as well.

 

Seeing that she was getting her way, Sheila smiled wickedly. She was only a few steps from escaping.

 

"I may not have killed you, Buffy, but I was able to do more damage on you than any other vamp here in Sunnydale. I killed a lot of people today and you couldn't do a thing about it!” she let out a high pitched giggle. “Don't think this is the end, Summers, because I'll be back and next time I will have your head on a silv-"

 

She wasn't able to finish her sentence as she crumbled to ashes. In her place was a beautiful blonde woman. She wore expensive looking 6-inch red heels, tight leather pants, a red halter top and a form fitting leather jacket. It was like she’d just stepped out of a copy of Vogue just to kill Sheila.

 

"I hate it when villains have to stop to do their monologue. It's always so irritating listening to their stupid plans, and self-congratulations." Her voice was all honey and whisky and I found myself more than a tad bit jealous.

 

Gracefully she sank to one knee to check on Mr. McKee. "This man is still alive. I suggest you call an ambulance," she told us as she stood up again. When none of us did as she asked and instead continued to stare dumbfounded at her, she threw up her hands in exasperation. "Are all of you deaf?! I said this man needs medical attention, or else he will die. Call an ambulance right now!"

 

Her authoritative voice echoed in the hall and snapped all of us from our reverie. Spike pulled one of those expensive cellular phones from his coat, and started dialing 911. He told the operator what happened and who needed help, only omitting the part about the vampire attack.

 

When he finished his call the beautiful woman walked towards him and slapped him so hard across the face that he ended up falling on his ass.

 

"That’s for leaving the house without permission!" she snarled.

 

A kick from the blood red pumps sent an unresisting Spike sprawling on his back.

 

"That’s for making Dru worried!"

 

She launched another kick at him, this time hitting his stomach.

 

"That’s for making me walk through town in heels!"

 

With one last strike she sent Spike flying toward the lockers.

 

"And that's for ruining my plans on when and how to meet up with Angelus and the Slayer!"

 

She was panting as her body pulsed with anger. I’d wanted to stop her from hitting Spike, but in her current mood, the woman looked like she was capable of anything. She stalked towards Spike's prone form, ire sparking in her eyes.

 

I gathered my courage together and started to move in between them. Only Angel gently stopped me with a hand on my arm and did it himself. He stood in front of the blonde beauty, his face wearing an expression I’d never seen him use before. It was a mixture of surprise, anger, awe, disbelief and a tiny bit of love. It was the most communicative look I had seen Angel exhibit since I met him a year ago, and he showed it all to the beautiful woman in front of him. It made me wonder even more who she was.

 

I got my answer when Angel whispered her name.

 

"Darla.."

 

It was his Sire. All I could do was stare at her in disbelief.

 

**(O.O)**

**Angel**

 

When I’d left my apartment this evening to go to Willie's and see if I could get more info on the illusive and new Master Vampire here in Sunnydale, I had not expected my whole world would end up being turned upside down.

 

It first started with HER scent. I’d caught it when I was about to enter the seedy bar. At first I’d not been certain if it was really hers. It’d been so long. I had to shift to game face just to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. Once I had been certain, I change back to my human visage, and without conscious thought I headed off to find the source. Tracking her then had lead me to Buffy's school, and the thought of her being there terrified me.

 

What was she doing there? Was she after Buffy?

 

I’d ran into Harris before I’d had a chance to find answers to those questions. The boy started blabbering about the school being attacked by a large group of vamps.

 

At first I’d thought that the leader of the vampires was her, because it was her scent that’d lead me here, but Harris had told me that the leader was a newly turned student. I had sighed in relief, at least until Harris had told me that Buffy was in dire need of my help. All thoughts of anyone else had fled as I hurried to get to Buffy.

 

I had planned to use Harris as a diversion so that the first vampires we would meet would let their guard down when they saw me with a possible victim in my arms. Only instead of that happening, I had ended up being on the receiving end of the frustration of another vampire family of member of mine- William.

 

I had been shocked to see him after nearly half a century. He’d changed his hair again. He had it bleached platinum blond, which made him stand out more than he ever did.

 

I shouldn’t have been surprised to see him, because I had smelled him not too long after first catching her scent, but I still was. What was even more surprising than seeing him in Sunnydale, was seeing him stake two of the vampires who were attacking the school.

 

It was confusing, and when he’d failed to answer me, anger and frustration had followed.

 

I’d forgotten how annoying the boy could be.

 

Weirdly he’d asked me to release Harris before we fought. That wasn’t like the William I remembered. The one I remembered wouldn't have cared about any humans getting hurt in the middle of our fight. But I hadn’t had time to dwell on it because once I had released Harris he was at my throat the next instant.

 

I’d been surprised at William's strength. He was faster and more skilled than I’d expected. He was getting the upper hand, and it made me regret that I had not taken him seriously at the beginning of the fight. This was not the weak, arrogant fledge I had traveled with and trained long ago. This was an experienced Master Vampire. I tried changing tactics mid fight, but it was too little too late. I’d lost and found myself pinned with a stake at my heart.

 

I’d tensed up, expecting the final blow. Going out at the hands of my Grandchilde seemed strangely poetic and I’d resigned myself to my fate.

 

Again, William surprised me. He hadn't killed me as I had expected. Instead he talked about my transgressions, his disappointment in me, and finally about how Dru needed me.

 

I was aware of the all things I’d failed to do for my family, and it hadn't been surprising that William would get angry about them. He hated me enough that he’d never overlook my past failings for anything short to Dru dying. Which meant that Dru was actually dying.

 

Drusilla, my favored Childe, was dying. I had mixed feelings about that. My soul knew that her death would be a blessing since it would allow me to finally atone for the sin I had committed in making her, but my demon raged for a chance to help her.

 

I was again at war with myself, not to mention confused at William's sudden kindness in offering me a hand to stand up. I needed answers. I was even willing to force them out of the boy, despite Harris being near, but a man’s scream had forced us to leave all that for later.

 

William had been the first to react and ran to the direction of the scream. Harris and I followed quickly behind. We had stopped upon reaching the intersection of two large hallways. The leader of the vampires, along with some of her crew, were holding Buffy and a teacher hostage.

 

My first thoughts upon seeing Buffy in danger was to massacre all the fledglings, to show them what a real vampire was. Only I couldn't afford doing such violent and demonic act in front of Buffy, so I had stood silently fuming at the sight in front of me.

 

Of course, William just had opened his big mouth and started talking to the interlopers, distracting them. It let him not only kill one of the vamps and intimidate the stupid amateurs, but to also to look cool while doing so.

 

Buffy was obviously impressed.

 

It’d floored me to see Buffy looking at my stupid Grandchilde with such great admiration, backed up by more than a hint of arousal. I didn't like that smell on her especially when the reason for it was the idiot, William.

 

The vampire leader had then ordered her minions to attack, and the distraction had been a welcome relief. I’d thought it’d been a perfect opportunity to show Buffy how superior I was to William, but again the bastard outshone me by not only defeating his opponents faster but also by rescuing Harris from certain death. Buffy's ever growing lust and admiration for William along with the worshipful gratitude on Harris’s face was the final straw for me.

 

Once the danger was past I'd be showing both of  them who and what William truly was while forcing the answers I wanted out of the insufferable boy.

 

I’d wanted everything over sooner rather than later, but the fledgling bitch had to take a hostage and threaten my Slayer. By then, I’d wanted to tear her to pieces, the hostage be damned. Buffy physically holding me back and reminding me of her presence had been the only way I’d at least partially calmed my demonic urges.

 

Then it happened.

 

The fledgling vampiress dusted and in her place stood the one I’d gone out to searching for earlier.

 

Too many emotions rolled over me at the sight of her, from surprise to happiness, excitement, sorrow and disappointment. I didn't know what to say or do. I wasn't even sure if the beauty in front of me was truly her. Then I heard that melodious voice for the first time in over a century, and I knew I wasn’t dreaming.

 

It was her! She was real and in front of me. My ex-lover. My once upon a time companion. My Sire.

 

Darla...

 

I still shivered at the sight of her. I never would've thought she could still draw such a reaction from me after all the years we’d been apart, and after the fact that’d she abandoned me such a long time ago. She still could turn me into a puddle of goo with just a look and make my thoughts turn to lust with just a scent.

 

I should've known she was in town; I should've felt it. I knew that our Sire-Childe connection had been partly severed a long time ago, when she turned me away, but I had always thought it never truly went away unless one of us was dead. After all, she was still in my blood as I was still in hers, that sort of connection shouldn't get broken because of simple words. I had always thought that if Darla were near, I would still be able feel her proximity. Only I hadn’t.

 

I was crushed and humiliated knowing that’d taken me accidentally crossing her path to find out she was in Sunnydale.

 

My Sire...

 

Wait!

 

What was she doing here? And what did she mean about William ruining her plans on how to meet with me and Buffy? Is she going to try and kill my Slayer? If so, why did she help save that man? Why? Why? Why?

 

I needed answers.

 

I moved myself between her and William, taking her attention off both him and Buffy. The sight of her face up close was making my head swim with emotions that’d been buried for far too long. They were all raging inside me, wanting to get out. I bit my tongue until it bled, using the pain to focus myself and at least try to find some answers.

 

"Darla," her name sounded like a prayer on my lips. "What are you doing here?"

 

**(O.O)**

**Darla**

 

Stupid, stupid William. Putting me this situation when I had no plan as of yet on how to proceed. I had no idea how to face the demon, no, the man standing before me. All the emotions I saw on his face made the situation ten times more difficult.

 

I had failed him as his Sire, I had chosen his Childers before him, all because they’d seemed more innocent than the man who stood before me.

 

How could I apologize to that atrocity? How could I make up for the years of abandonment and pain I’d caused, and then hope he would grant me his help for the very thing I abandoned him for?

 

I had no idea. Which was why I’d kept stalling. I wasn’t ready, at least not yet. I needed to know the kind of man Angelus turned out to be after all these years he had spent alone.

 

It’d been impossible to pin him down however, no matter how many demons I asked or how many fledglings I harried for information. There was no one answer.

 

Some said he was still as cruel as he’d once been. Others said he was pathetic and had grown weak over the century. Many said he was still selfish and self-serving, yet a lot said that he now worked for the good guys and had saved a lot of people. I didn’t know who or what to believe.

 

My Childe had become an enigma, a mystery I couldn’t solve. Even looking at him now, despite the emotions rolling out of him, I still couldn’t see the Childe I created or the man he turned out to be with his soul. So I had no idea how to proceed, nor how to answer his questions without either hurting or angering him.

 

Damn that William, damn him for putting me in this position.

 

"Answer me, Darla. What the hell are you, William and most likely Dru, doing here in Sunnydale?" Angelus dared to snap at me. So much for not angering him.

 

"I--"

 

I wasn't able to finish my sentence before the doors of the school slammed open and a bunch of police officers came rushing inside the building. I always find it amusing how the police always arrive when the danger is over. Angelus' hand on my arm, gripping me tightly, brought my attention back to him.

 

"This isn't over," he hissed. "You will tell me everything. You and William better not leave my side until then or I will hunt you down and finally finish what I started when you betrayed me and handed me to Holtz a long time ago."

 

His threat sent shivers down my spine, both from the arousal of the sudden change in his voice that made him sound exactly like the old Angelus and from the fear his threat engendered.

 

I knew exactly what he meant.

 

Easily I acquiesced to his demands and nodded my agreement.

 

The medical team entered after the officers learned from the Slayer and her friend that there were no more threats left. We all had then been ushered outside, where we waited to be called to make statements to the officers.

 

Lying to the police was nothing new to me and the untruths flowed easily while Officer Stewart stared at my chest. Once finished I had to wait again, so I stood back and observed from the sidelines.

 

I saw the arrival of the town's media and chuckled as I listened to a short man tell them that the attackers were a group kids high on PCP. The things people say to rationalize the supernatural never ceased to amaze me. I saw the Slayer being hugged by an older woman, whom I immediately assumed was her mother.

 

It’d been odd to see a Slayer up close and not have her be nearly at my throat. I've met a lot of Slayers since I received my soul, always William’s fault, but I had never met one who's innocence still shone so bright despite the responsibility of her calling.

 

This Slayer was definitely different from the others. It could be because she is stronger than most Slayers I've met. After all, she did defeat Lothos in her first year of being called and the Master in her the second year. An impressive resume for one that didn’t seem as attached to her calling as she should be.

 

This Slayer was indeed special.

 

And it seemed I wasn't the only one who’d noticed.

 

Ever since we’d left the building, I’d noticed that my Great Grandchilde has been sneaking glances at the Slayer whenever he believed no one was watching. He had this confused look in his face along with another emotion that I had yet identify. I didn’t know what was up with him, but I guessed his odd behavior from the night before could be explained by what I was seeing now.

 

I’d been so busy watching William acting odd that I hadn’t even noticed that Angelus was standing right beside me until he grabbed my arm again. He spun me to face him.

 

"Let's go. You still have some explaining to do." There’s venom in his voice as he pulled me towards the shadows under the trees.

 

"William!" I called the boy, who immediately followed us.

 

Angelus kept his hand on my arm as he led us away from the school. I tried to prepared myself for the showdown that was about happen, and hoped beyond hope that everything would turn out alright.

 

It just had to, Dru’s life was at stake.

 

 

 

**TBC**

 

 

**(O.O)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yeepee! I finally finished this chapter! I really get lost when I write Angel's POV, I really find it hard. And if you notice I explained it a bit when I did Darla's POV. Angel has two different personas that he shows to different kinds people and one can never really tell who he really is and that even Darla finds him confusing. He's like Mr. Two-Face of DC's Batman series, but without the ugly dual face, and homicidal tendencies. Well, he doesn't have the last one when he is Angel. Anyway, if you find Angel in this chapter kinda different from the Angel in the other chapter that I had him on it, that is because Angel in this chapter is showing more of his darker self because of the apparance of his vampire family. I still remember his words from an Angel episode when he is ask why he asks differently with Spike, he says he doesn't know but Spike just gets to him in a way many of his enemies don't. I tried to put this idea in the story, that somehow Angel's true character becomes more visible in front of his vampire family. But of course I won't be writing him as an evil guy in this fic, at least not yet. I still view Angel's character growing during this part of the series, I believe that he truly does have a dark side but he's been holding out because he is afraid that Buffy and her friends won't accept him, and also the good side of his character hasn't fully developed yet, that's why he's always so cryptic message guy in the series. He doesn't know how to truly help others yet, and he still is motivated by selfishness. Of course I will be changing that slowly as the story progresses.
> 
>  
> 
> For those who notice, yes, I do ship Darla and Angel. I think that their romance, though was filled with violence and death, was still romance in vampire terms. I mean they both spent centuries together, Darla even chose Angel over the Master. I know they both cheated on each other constantly and even hurt each other but they never did kill each other, not until Angel had his soul, and he only did it because Buffy had been in trouble back then. Angel tried to save Darla when she was dying as a human. I know most say he did it because he wanted to redeem his sire and himself but he cared enough to still try. So yes, I think Angel/Angelus, though he wouldn't admit it, did love Darla on some level. It may have been a cruel, violent and deadly sort of love but he still did. So in this story I'll be trying to ship them along with Spike and Buffy, but not immediately, after all Angel truly does have feelings for Buffy in this fic and he still will get angry at Darla for what she did to him. So anyway, I guess that's all. Thank you for reading and see you next time!


	10. Vampiric Concerns and Preparations for the Night of Saint Vigeous

**Note: _Italics_ are Buffy's personal/Slayer thoughts.**

 

**(O.O)**

**Buffy**

I was worried, very, very worried, about Angel. And it was justifiable since I hadn’t seen him for two days, not since he left with his Sire, and Spike. I would have freaked out when I had gone looking for him in his apartment and found that he wasn't there, if it hadn't been for the note he left on his coffee table telling me not to worry and search for him because he had to deal with some “personal problems.”

 

 _"Personal perblems..."_ I scoffed.

 

Before the attack on the school, I'd have thought that Angel and “problems” were non-mixy things. He was always this cool, mysterious, and levelheaded guy- err vamp- levelheaded vamp, who was always there when I needed him. He was always the one who helped save the day.

 

And I just couldn’t picture him having “problems” besides worrying for my well-being. And that's just there because it was part of his missions to be worried about me.

 

His mission and destiny.

 

He's suppose to have this important mission to help me, but when his ho-bag of a Sire shows up along with Mr. Hottie, he just up and disappears on me without a clue.

 

Well, okay, he did leave a clue--one very stupid, inconclusive note kind of clue.

 

I scoffed again.

_Yeah, and it was very helpful--NOT! Hello? When someone tells you not to worry, they all tend to worry. 'Cause that's like the number one rule on how to worry about someone._

 

I let out a sigh.

 

_Why is he always so dense when it came to these human things? He's suppose to be like three hundred years old, so he's suppose to have more experience about these things than me. How can he still act like a clueless idiot in front of the woman he is supposedly been seeing?_

 

I pouted and wadded up the note. I almost threw it away before I thought better of it and carefully folded it, and put in in my pocket.

 

 _So much for his so called mission to help me. He isn’t even here and I really need his help right now_.

 

I sighed again. Tonight was the so called Night of St. Vigeous, where all vampires get a major power boost. Giles and Ms. Calendar believed that they would come and attack me in numbers. I knew I shouldn't be afraid of that since I’d already fought a small army of vamps two nights ago, but that power boost stuff did sound a tiny bit intimidating.

 

So here we were at the library, with Willow and my computer teacher still working on a spell that could create an artificial sun light thingie but they still hadn't been successful.

 

I was losing hope since it was only a few hours until night fall. Giles was trying to help them while Xander went on a donut run.

 

We all could use some more of that sweet delectable snack at this moment.

 

And Cordelia was--um, I really didn’t know what she was doing here. She always said that she wanted to stay far away from danger, yet she still hung out here in the library with us. She was just so weird sometimes and I’d given up on trying to understand her. I already had enough problems on my plate to worry about her.

 

My mind drifted back to Angel and on how he could've been a big help tonight. True, he never really did much during pre-battle research besides to stand in the corner and make the occasional comments, but his presence here would've been a big comfort to me.

 

He always made me feel that I didn't have to carry the burden of being the Chosen One alone. I could depend on him to have my back and watch over my friends. It was a great feeling.

 

But sometimes though, I just wished he could take care of my problems all together for me and make me feel safe and protected from all the nasties out there. But I knew that was just too much to ask of him.

 

_It was too much to ask out of anyone, really._

 

Ever since I became the Slayer that sort of peace has never been within my reach. Not even my mom or Giles can give me that, because deep down I knew that if I ever let myself feel protected, even for a minute, it'd make me let my guard down and that’d make me weak. And as the Slayer I  couldn’t afford to be weak. People would lose their lives if I was weak. So…no. No safe and peaceful feelings for Buffy. I always had to in the strong and cautious Slayer mode.

 

_You really believe that? What about when you were dancing in Spike's arms? You sure felt safe back then, at peace even. You felt that everything was right in the world. But we didn't become weak that time, and instead we were so strong that we killed those vampires in a span of a few seconds just so we could get back to him and those arms._

 

I wanted to dispute what that wicked little part of my brain was telling me, but I couldn't. I knew it was telling the truth.

 

That night, when I had been dancing with Spike, I had felt a strange pull deep inside me. Somehow, something was connecting me to him and vice versa. I’d felt protected and very safe with him but also fiercely possessive. I’d wanted to own that beautiful man in front of me. I’d also wanted him in every most imaginable way possible, most of such imaginations would have made my mom faint if she had any inkling that I even knew those things existed. I desired him in an innate, instinctual and very primal level, that should logically disturbed or frightened me. But it didn't.

 

This was not a Buffy behavior. And I knew this. I also knew that I should tell my Watcher about all of this, not just because it was not right for me to feel such things, but also because I knew for a fact that Spike wasn’t exactly human.

 

Not human.

 

I’d thought as such after I saw his eyes shifting color the other night and also the fact that he just stood up after getting a beating from Angel's Sire, whose relations to Spike I still don't know yet, without so much as a limp. It also explained the conclusion that he was indeed not of the human variety, although I still wasn't a hundred percent certain of what he was.

 

The best answer to that would've been that he was a vampire, considering he was associated to Angel, when he was called Angelus, and also to his so called ho bag Sire.

 

But then I couldn't help but remember the look in his eyes when we’d been staring at each other as we danced that night at the Bronze. They were so expressive, so alive and so human that it was no wonder I hadn’t noticed that he wasn't human despite his cold hands. He looked so different from any vampire I've ever met, including Angel.

 

So it made me think that he could be some other kind of supernatural being.

 

 _An angel, maybe?_ I giggled. _With his face he could pass for it, right?_

 

“Where’s Angel?” Willow's unknowingly echoed what I had been thinking.

 

It took me a minute to realize she meant Angel with a capital A and not my day dream Spike-angel.

 

Shaking off any remaining lusty thoughts about Spike, I answered her question. "I don't know Wills. I haven't seen him since the other night- and yes, I've already went to his apartment but he wasn't there. He just left a note saying he had some personal problems he had to deal with.”

 

It sounded like a really lame when I said it out loud.

 

"Personal you mean like his Sire visiting him, kind of personal?" she asked.

 

"Don't know. He didn't exactly specify. But I am thinking it is in that sort of personal," I answered her while I tried to sound indifferent and not worried about Angel meeting up with his extremely pretty and good looking Sire.

 

_Nope. I was not so insecure as to think that Angel was being seduced by his hot and sexy ho-bag of a Sire. Not at all. I was just worried of what his Sire was doing to him that was keeping him from contacting us, especially since I really needed him tonight. We could really use an extra super-strong fighter that could take care of not only himself but also my friends._

"You said Angel met up with his Sire?" Giles interrupted my musing. "When was this?"

 

_Oh, that's right. I haven't told him the full extent of what happened during parent-teacher night. That would explain why he has no idea what we were talking about._

"Um, Buffy said that Angel's sire came and helped them when Sheila was about to escape with Mr. McKee," Willow answered for me. "She staked her and had Mr. Hot-- I mean Spike callled an ambulance to get Mr. McKee to the hospital."

 

"And who the bloody hell is Spike?!" he asked, sounding irritated.

 

He'd always get like that when he was the last to know about certain things that pertain my being the Slayer. I didn’t blame him. He was my Watcher and it was his job to know the stuff that happened to me. Me not telling him about Angel’s Sire showing up and helping, along with the whole Spike thing, was really going to tick him off.

 

"Spike’s the supposedly 'hot human' guy the Buffster danced with at the Bronze a few nights ago," Xander answered as he entered the library with a box of donuts in his hands. Hopefully he remembered to get more than one raspberry jelly this time.

 

"Supposedly?" Giles rubbed a hand over his face.

 

"Supposedly because I'm pretty sure he's not human." I gave Giles the quick rundown of my reasoning and Xander chimed in with his account of the fight between Angel and Spike.

 

"I see. So you’re saying that this Spike character has helped save not only you, but also Xander, and that he referred to Angel as Angelus, and was familiar with Darla, who is Angel's Sire, who also assisted you that night? Am I getting this correct?"

 

"Right as rain, G-man," Xander said around a mouthful of donut.

 

Giles frowned at him. "I’ve told you more than once not to call me that.” Xander shrugged. "But going back- if Angel's Sire, Darla, truly is here then we might have bigger problems than we anticipated."

 

"What do you mean, Mr. Giles?" Willow’s voice trembled.

 

"Well-" my Watcher walked towards the table and picked up one of the books lying there and started flipping it. When he found the right page he read out loud: "Darla is the direct heir to the Master and was sired by him. The Master named her Darla, meaning 'Dear One', and she was his favored Childe up until she left his side to join Angelus and travel with him. She's over four hundred years old and a powerful Master Vampire in her own right. Her true nature is cruel, deceitful and vicious, often she played as an innocent and fragile young woman to lure in her victims before she assaults and brutally kills them. Darla and Angelus laid waste to the populace wherever they found themselves, committing unspeakable acts of evil upon them. The reign of terror only escalated upon the addition of  two other vampires to their group: Drusilla the Mad, who had been sired by Angelus, and William the Bloody who had been sired by Drusilla. Together the four of them wreaked havoc in every corner of the continent for nearly two decades, earning them the title of the Scourge of Europe. They-"

 

The room became silent as Giles continued reading about Darla and her little family. Feelings of dread crept through me as I listened to him. It was bad enough that Darla had been sired by the Master, the only vampire who had succeeded in killing me, but she had had to bring her two monster kids with her; Drusilla and William.

 

William...

 

Darla had referred to Spike as William, so it wasn't hard to guess that he was the William in Giles' book. It said he tortured his victims with railroad spikes, hence the moniker, Spike. My stomach tied itself in knots.

 

Mere moments ago I’d been dreaming about how safe I’d felt in his arms. Only he was a monster. A killer that was in my town and quite possibly gunning for me and everyone that I cared for.

 

But…

 

_But if he was after you, why did he save you, your friend and your teacher that night?_

 

I had to ignore that little voice of doubt. Trusting a soulless vampire was a great way to end up dead. I was confused enough as it was.

 

Giles concluded his reading and added in the very real possibility that these vampires were here in Sunnydale to take out as many people as possible and implied that they would most likely lead the attack tonight.

 

 Xander raised his hand. "Hey, G-man, can I ask a question?"

 

Giles sighed. "Yes, Xander, you may, but again please cease and desist with calling me that."

 

"Sure, whatever. Anyway, if these guys are as bad as you say, how come they helped us?" he asked surprising not only Giles but also me. "I mean, if they wanted to kill everyone, why bother saving the Slayer and her buddies?”

 

_Since when do you question whether or not a vampire is evil? You're usually the one who suggests that all vamps were bad, even Angel. What exactly are you thinking, Xan? And where are you going with this?_

 

"Hmm, perhaps they’re trying to fool you into false security before killing you?" Giles suggested.

 

_Yeah, that could be a reason why Mr. Hottie was down with the saving and helping of me and my friends. The guy just wants to get me to let my guard down._

"Yeah right," Xander snorted. "I'd believe that if they'd just saved Buffy and our teacher, but what about me? If that Spike guy wanted me dead wouldn't it be more understandable if he just let that other vamp kill me? Or if he just knocked out and kidnapped Angel when he had the chance, then kill me? 'Cause let me tell you that that guy was so strong that he had wiped the floor with Angel, and that he could've kicked everyone's asses that night if he really wanted to, no offence Buff," he paused to look apologeticly at me.

 

Apparently I was among the 'everyone' that he meant.

 

"But anyway, he didn't and instead he helps us and leaves without doing anything remotely evil to us. I'm just saying guys, they don't seem like the Big Bad type to me, nor do their actions seem like they had ulterior motives besides helping us, and getting Angel to help them, which would explain why dead boy is absent now, because they were successful in convincing him. Do you, guys, get what I mean?"

 

"Kinda Xan, but I'm not liking the idea of helpful vampires without souls. It just ruins the natural order of things," I said, finally imparting what I thought about the entire thing. "After all, vampires are innately evil creatures, and what you're suggesting is too far off any scale of possibility."

 

"Souls," Willow yelped.

 

"What?" I asked, looking sideways at her.

 

"Maybe they have souls? Don't you think that's a more probable answer?" she caught her lower lip in between her teeth.

 

This idea made me pause, and I almost considered it. Almost, but not really, because it couldn’t be the answer. I distinctly remembered Angel saying that he was the only vampire in the world with a soul.

 

Why would he lie about that?

 

"Hey, maybe you're right, Will. That would totally explain the save-age and help-age!" Xander exclaimed, making Willow smile bigger.

 

"It's not possible," Giles shook his head as he disputed the idea.

 

He and Angel had also talked about his soul and how he acquired it, so I guess my Watcher also knew that Angel was the only vampire with a soul.

 

"Why?" Willow asked sounding a bit sad that Giles had dismissed her idea.

 

"He means that it's not possible for those two to have souls because Angel said that he is the only vampire that is cursed with one in the whole world," I said dully.

 

Xander, for the second time that night, surprised me.

 

"Yeah, he’s so sure about that how? I mean the guy said he spent most of the century in alleys and sewers, eating rats while feeling sorry for himself. I doubt he's had time to find out if whether or not someone else got cursed with a soul aside from himself," he stated loudly.

 

"Okay Xander, I so can feel the Angel-hating from over here. What the heck is wrong with you?”

 

I narrowed my eyes at him.

 

“And why do you hate Angel so much? He's been our ally for over a year now and he has helped us save the world countless times, but you still don't trust him, and yet you are willing to give your trust to the two new vampires in town? What the heck is your damage?" I snarled, anger flaring from within me.

 

I know I might've scared everyone in the room, but I’d had just about enough of Xander always doubting and insulting Angel.

 

"Woah, chill Buffster I'm just stating facts here. It's not because I hate the guy or anything, I'm just saying that there is a possibility that he might be wrong about being the only soulled vamp out there, 'cause it's the only explanations why those other two would have helped us. As for trusting those said vamps, I just want to say that I don't trust them, but I am willing to hear them out, after all one of them did save me."

 

Xander crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the rest of us.

 

I wanted to argued with him some more, but mostly about why he seemed to hate Angel so much, despite the fact that he just said that he didn't, or why he didn't trust him. But I kept my mouth closed. There was no point to arguing with jealousy induce prejudice.

 

I knew for a fact that Xander was jealous of Angel because the vamp and I were kind of dating, but there was nothing I could do about to make that better for him. As my friend he should just accept who I want to go out with and be happy, or at least be tolerant of it.

 

But I also did have to admit that Xander did have a point about the part where he was saved by Spike. It was kind of wacky behavior for your average vamp. So I guess I could understand why he feels that we should at least give them a chance to at least explain themselves.

 

_Unless, of course, one of them would try to kill one of us, then all bets were off._

I nodded at Xander to let him know I got where he was coming from.

 

Cordelia bolting from the chair where she sat made all of us jump and my hand closed around a stake. 

 

"Oh, my god! I'm almost late for my date with Patrick Morgan!" she blurted, slamming closed the book she was reading and tossing her stuff into her purse. "You losers nearly made me forget about it with all this depressing talk of possible evil vampires and their secret evil motives.”

 

"Hey, how is that our fault that you can't seem to tell the time?" Xander demanded while pointedly looking at the clock on the wall. "And what the heck are you doing here anyway? It's not like you were invited in this meeting."

 

"You're right, I wasn't invited. But apparently I'm the only one who seem to remember that this is a school library, and it's a public place for students to read, hang out and waste some time. I came here to do just that. It had seemed like a good idea earlier to wait here until I have to meet up with Rick from his group meeting for his Physics Project. How was I supposed to know that you losers would be here in the first place? I really should have picked somewhere else to waste my time.”

 

"Wow, I stopped listening to you when you mentioned spending time reading. I just can't believe that Cordelia Chase would voluntarily spend some of her precious time in the library to read." Xander refolded his arms over his chest.

 

"Well, for your information Xander Harris I--"

 

I tuned out the rest of argument and looked away from them to see that everyone else was having the same idea. Willow and Ms. Calendar had gone back to their research while my Watcher looked like he was really focused on reading another dusty book.

 

When he began cleaning his glasses I got worried and approached him to ask what he’d found out and why he looked so wigged by it.

 

"I'm sorry to cause your concern, Buffy, it's just that I noticed something strange about the three vampires: Darla, William and Drusilla," he said looking up at my face. "I realized that there weren’t any records of their activity since the turn of the century. Nothing to indicate what the three had been doing since they were said to have met up with the Slayer in China at the turn of the century."

 

"You mean people thought they got killed there?"

 

"Oh, no it didn't state that. In fact, it didn't state much of anything about what had happened during that time or after. All of the accounts I could find about what happened were either too vague or inconclusive, but some of the stories about them were just too outrageous and downright unbelievable to be credible." He sighed.

 

"What do you mean, Giles? What crazy evil things did these three do that are making you all with the wierd?"

 

"That's the thing Buffy, these three didn't do anything evil at all. This account says that they aided the Slayer in stopping evil during that time and onwards."

 

I just stared at him with my mouth open.

 

**(O.O)**

**Giles**

 

Upon hearing about Angel's family being in town I had immediately set about finding out more about them. Not only for I need to inform my charge about the kind of demons she was facing but also to expand my knowledge of who they were.

 

I regretted not having done so beforehand, when I’d first came into contact with Angel himself. I blamed the vampire for that. I’d been so focused on reading about his evil deeds that I’d utterly failed to check on the rest of his known associates. I was scrambling to fill in the gaps in my knowledge as fast as I could, only what I was finding was not at all what I’d been expecting.

 

At first the story of the three had been a standard one as far as vampire histories went, if not a little more profound than others considering who they were. It had been in the more recent accounts that I found confusing.

 

It had been unnerving to find out that they may not be the standard evil monsters we were used to facing. I nearly threw the book across the room as its contents seemed so preposterous and went against nearly everything I’d been taught

 

Vampires helping Vampire Slayers. It was ludicrous!

 

It had taken me an excessive amount of time and liquor consumption just to get over the fact that I was allowing Angel, a vampire with a SOUL, to be anywhere near my Slayer in order to aid her in battle. I did not want to think of what I'd have to do to get past not only one, but apparently three, notorious vampires fighting for the side of good.

 

The books I had, held no answer for me.

 

The stories of their deeds were never unambiguously stated and the accounts were never specific. It was all heresy and second hand tales, but they all did agree on one thing: during the last hundred years, Darla, William, and Drusilla had been performing acts of heroism with no chance of reward.

 

Had all these authors being chasing the green fairy?

 

I shook out my handkerchief and cleaned my glasses. For the first time I wished that Angel was here. I needed him to answer my questions.

 

Buffy walked over at that point having seen my distress. It never ceased to amaze me how perceptive my Slayer could be. I never was truly able to hide anything from her. Her jaw had nearly dropped off as I updated her on my findings.

 

Shock was replaced by confusion which melted away to…relief? But why would she feel that? Perhaps she was relieved that Angel wasn’t with the evil demons that we’d first thought Darla and the others to be.

 

Yes, of course, that was it.

 

"You know, Giles, I'm beginning to like Will and Xander's theory about those guys having souls more and more, rather than the idea of them being miraculous goody-goody soulless vamps," Buffy said after I finished explaining everything to her.

 

She popped her gum loudly before continuing to gnaw on it.

 

I couldn't help but agree. It was just unnatural, as Buffy had said earlier, and I would indeed prefer that these vampires have souls than to deal with the idea of them being some kind of reformed demons.

 

"I found it!" Jenny exclaimed, breaking my concentration.

 

"Mr. Giles, look what we just found. It's a spell that we could combine to our previous efforts that would allow us to replicate the effects of the sun on vampires," Willow said, bubbling over with excitement. "It's exactly what we need!"

 

They two women looked at me expectantly with wide smiles that even I couldn't help but return. I shoved aside the soul versus no soul debate in order to focus on the situation at hand. I approached the table where the two were sitting and reviewed what they had found.

 

"Well, I must say, this is indeed a wonderful find. You two are correct, combining this spell to previous one would indeed result in artificial sunlight. But these are complex spells that require a deft hand and the utmost care.” I was more than a little concerned at the level of skill needed to perform this level of magic.

 

"But you guys can perform it, right?" Buffy asked, joining our conversation.

 

"Like Rupert said, it is complex, but it is not impossible to accomplish. There are a few details we have to resolve, such as the spell's time limit, but I am confident that with practice we can do this spell with ease," Jenny smiled at the Slayer.

 

"Good, so what ingredients do you need?"

 

"Nothing too fancy. It’s all stuff I can get at the local magic shop.” Jenny pursed her lips. "Well, except for an Azere's runic crystal, it’s very rare and it's the most important ingredient I need to find. Hopefully they’ll be one available."

 

"Oh, can I come with you when you buy the ingredients? I could help in running around town to find this special crystal thingy in case we don't find it in one shop," Willow pleaded, looking eagerly at Jenny.

 

I smiled at the girl's enthusiasm, her fascination with magic and spell casting was just preview to the girl's possible future as a witch. I took a mental note to talk to Jenny about furthering Willow’s training in the arts of witchcraft while teaching her appropriate boundaries.

 

The rest of the afternoon was spent on planning to counter the possible vampire attack that could be happening that night. Despite how busy we all were, I couldn’t help but to let my thoughts wonder back the new vampires in town. Were they indeed warriors for good, as the books said they, or was it all an act? Another way to get close to the Slayer in order to take her out? Would they come tonight to fight with us or against us?

 

I hoped the impossible was the truth, but I’d be prepared for the worse. I always was.

 

 

**TBC**

 

**(O.O)**


	11. A Champion's Responsibility to the Great Poof

**(O.O)**

**Spike**

 

A soul!

 

The three of us had a nice long chat after we all crowded into the great poof's apartment. I nearly fell over from the shock after finding out that the magnificent forehead had been cursed with a soul just like us and that he’d also spent the last century carrying around the guilt of his sins.

 

The only difference is that he didn't have a family by his side to help ease the burden or a duty to keep his thoughts occupied from the reality of what he'd done. It was no wonder why the bloke ended up slumming in alleys and sewers eating rodents, he'd been too caught up in his own pain to think about his appalling situation.

 

I felt sorry for the bloody bastard. He may have been an arrogant, pretentious and self-righteous git, and no matter how much I hated being related to him the same blood bound us, we were family. And not to mention he taught me nearly everything I knew about being a vampire. And while I’d rather dust than tell him in person, the bloke did deserve at least some sympathy.

 

During our little kumbaya session, I'd also found out that great Grandmum knew about the soul and had banished Angelus anyway because the wanker was stupid enough to make her believe that he would have been alright with killing people, despite his soul. And I can understand her decision to chase him off, though if it’d been me I'd have dusted the bastard right then and there.

 

The real kicker, however, was Darla having kept Angelus and his sodding soul a secret from me and Dru for all these years. I was proper brassed off at that.

 

What right did she have to decide that for us? I knew she fancied herself our mum and always wanted what was best for us and I respect her for that, but in this case she’d overstepped her bounds. We should have decided Angelus’ fate together.

 

She’d tried to explain that she’d believed that she’d been protecting us from the soulled version of Angelus. She said she kept us in the dark for our own good.

 

What a load of shit.

 

No matter what fairy tales she told herself, I knew a big part of the reason she kept quiet about Angel was because she’d been terrified of what we might have done to him. He's her Childe after all. No matter how many times she has said that me and Dru are the most important people in her unlife, it's never one hundred percent the truth. She'd always be torn between her soul and her demon.

 

To her soul we may be her golden babes, but to the demon Angelus will always come first. So to barter peace with herself, she banished Angelus and didn't tell a sodding soul about it.  Keeping Angel's existence a secret was done because she knew us too well. She'd have guessed what our decisions on the matter would've been.

 

She knew that I'd have hunted and dusted him once I'd heard depth of depravity he was willing to visit, despite his soul. And Dru would have seen him ended as well, but not only for the same reasons as I had.

 

There’d been many times over the years when she had been apart from her Sire where she’d weep and say she missed him, but I knew that was her demon talking. Her soul, on the other hand,  loathed the bastard for what he did to her, and everyone she knew, when she’d been alive.

 

Had she found out that Angelus had survived and was evil despite the newly acquired soul, she'd have done more than just kill the wanker, she'd have tortured him in order to make him feel the pain for what he'd done to her. Her skilled hands would have made him feel worthless and would have worn him down until he hated his own bloody continued existence. And once he'd begged prettily enough, she’d finally send his sorry arse straight to hell.

 

Of course, now that I've properly thought about it, it was kinda of impossible to hold a grudge against Grandmum for hiding the truth about Angel from Dru and me, 'cause had she told us earlier, then there would've been nothing to cure Dru now.

 

Although at the moment, the git still wasn't much of a help to her anyway, because while he agreed to help, under extreme pressure from us, the idiot had no idea on how to go about it.

 

Not that anyone else did either.

 

We’d been looking for any information with regards to healing vampires through a Sire-Childe bond for the pass couple of days. So far we had found nothing, despite the fact that all able bodied hands at the mansion were pressed into service. In a fit of pique Darla stuck Peaches with guard duty, which excused him from all tome related responsibilities.

 

Drusilla being so fragile with her illness made it so she was unable to help as well, but unlike Angelus she was upset that she was being left on the sidelines.

 

I have never been so grateful in my all unlife for the minions that work for us that I was during those two days. If those minions hadn’t been there it would have fallen to Darla and I to do all the research.

 

Bamboo shoots under the finger nails sounded more appealing to me than spending an entire day reading ancient books and translating primordial languages. I tend to get easily bored and I bloody well hate sitting still for too long. All the extra help kept me from going completely sack of hammers.

 

It was not yet midnight on the second evening when Angelus left his self-appointed post by the stairs and decided to chime in.

 

"This is taking too long!" he said with a growl as he stomped from the stairwell to where we were sitting.

 

I rolled my eyes at the sight of his arrogant walk and glared at him when he sneered at Dru's new favorite minion, Dalton, indicating that he wanted the nerdy vamp to move away from him.

 

Angelus really was a right git.

 

"Patience Angelus, we have no knowledge yet on how you are going to aid Drusilla, and aside from her visions of you being the only one that can cure her, we know next to nothing about her illness."

 

Darla stamped her foot.

 

"And what are you complaining about, anyway? It is not like we are forcing you to help in the research. All you've been doing since you got here is to stand in the corner and brood while criticizing us and harassing my people. Seriously Angelus, you have turned into a rude and ill-mannered brute since I’ve last seen you."

 

Darla flicked her hair out of her eyes as she returned to the book she’d been reading.

 

Some of the minions tried to hide their smiles at the look on Angelus’ face while I shamelessly snickered at him from behind the copy of ‘Field Guide to Lesser Demons’ that I was pretending to read.

 

"P-patience? People? Br-brute?" I heard him stutter in indignation.

 

I looked back at my grandsire and saw that he was trying to calm himself, obviously mentally counting to ten before he spoke again.

 

"First, my name is Angel now, Darla, and don't you forget it.”

 

I couldn't help but roll my eyes because of what he said. Always did hate how the wanker disassociated himself from his soulless counterpart.

 

“Secondly, don't start telling me what to do 'cause you lost that right when you abandoned me."

 

I heard the bitterness creeping into his voice as he said this.

 

“Thirdly, don't forget that I am only here out of guilt for what I did to Dru, but if you insist on continuing to insult me, just remember that I can still chose to ignore her and permanently severe our bond like you did to ours. I can still let her die, so don't say I’m useless here because I can show you the real meaning of the word. And lastly, I can harass your so called 'people' whenever and however I want to because they are not people to begin with! They are vampires, minions to be precise! They are not 'people,' or has your soul made you too stupid to be unable to tell the difference of the two?"

 

Rage filled me as I listened to the self-righteous bastard as he criticized Darla, threatened Dru and disrespect everyone in the bloody room. I saw red when I heard him insult my family, and would have attacked him if it wasn't for Darla, who’d kept a hand on my arm, holding me in place.

 

"You’re right Angel," she said, holding a hand up in  placating gesture. "I abandoned you and it's true that I don’t deserve your aid, and your insults and criticisms are all justified. You’re also right to say that you can let Dru die, should you wish it."

 

I looked at her in confusion. I was not sure where she was going with this and was irritated that she was accepting the wanker's words.

 

She paused for a second and tilted her head to the side. When she spoke again her tone had changed into something deep and throaty, it was as if her demon was the one talking, except she wasn't in gameface.

 

"But you should remember one thing, Angel..."

 

She stood up from her chair her face drawn tight but with obvious emotion swirling just under the surface. She was furious and her demonic energy pulsated wildly throughout the room, making some of the minions shiver in fear. Even my own demon wanted to bow down to her in respect. This was the true Darla, Master Vampire and heir to the Order of Aurelius, standing before us now, and Angel is about to get a taste of the demon inside of her.

 

"I do not tolerate anyone who’d hurt my children. Whether the perpetrators are humans or demons, and regardless if they have souls or not.”

 

I winced at her last words as they made me remembered the truth behind them. I still have etched in my memory the pained screams of those men who tortured Dru back in Prague. Darla had slaughtered them while I helped Dru escape from her chains. She had been unstoppable at the time. And had it not been for the approaching sun and Dru needing help, I was convinced that she would've killed everyone there.

 

My soul ached with regret at my inability to prevent their deaths and for allowing Darla to heap sin after sin upon herself that night.

 

She was right up in Angelus’ face now.

 

"So should you happen to feel inclined to leave Drusilla for dead, just remember that I can hunt you down and do things to your that are far worse than any hell dimension could ever conjure up. I can make you plead for death but never grant it.  Your soul would shrivel up and die while your demon would forever cower and long for the end. Do you understand me, Angel?"

 

A shiver ran down my spine. Those were no idle threats. If Angelus were to abandon Dru his fate would be sealed. The git knew it too, I could see it on his usually impassive face. If he’d been able to, the bastard would have wet his trousers. And I’d have found the thought hilarious if Darla’s rage hadn’t been so palpable.

 

"Yes, Sire," was his immediate response. He bowed his head in respect to the superior demon standing before him.

 

"Good." She said and returned to her seat, then she picked back up her book, wetting on finger and turning a page like nothing had happened.

 

I let out a sigh of relief along with the minions. At least the storm was over for now.

 

"Angel," she suddenly called, making everyone jump in surprise. "If you are that tired of waiting then you are free to leave the house. You can go meet up with that Slayer of yours and make sure she’s alright. It is the Night of Saint Vigeous, and though I am certain that we’ve already taken care of a lot of the traditional vampires in Sunnydale who’d decide celebrate this event, it did not mean that the Slayer is a hundred percent safe. I suggest you look in on her and make certain of it. You did profess to be her guardian sent by the so called Powers That Be and it would be unbecoming of us to keep you away from your duties. So leave.”

 

She looked up from her book at Angelus.

 

“Go help your Slayer, we’ll send for you when we’ve found what it is you need to do." She smiled sweetly at him, confusing all of us.

 

I stared at her in disbelief. I just don't bloody understand her: one minute she was angry, the next she was being kind. The woman had more ups and downs than a rollercoaster. It was impossible to tell what she really wanted.

 

My hand twitched for a fag.

 

I haven't had one in days because Grandmum wouldn't let me outside for a smoke and lighting around all the old parchment was right out the question, not to mention she still hated the smell of nicotine inside the house. She said that this was my punishment for leaving the house two nights ago.

 

Cruel thing to do to a bloke, if you ask me.

 

"William why don't you go with him? I am sure you are dying to go outside, and I believe you have learned your lesson to not do anything without my permission."

 

It was my turn to be on the receiving end of that candy sweet smile.

 

"What?" Angel and I yelped simultaneously.

 

That’s it she had finally gone completely off her rocker. Why the hell would she want me to go with Peaches?

 

"I said take William with you. He needs to go out and gets some fresh air. Being stuck in the house for too long makes the boy cranky. It’s getting on my nerves." She shrugged one shoulder nonchalantly.

 

"Then why does he have to come with me? He can go outside and get some fresh air alone," Angelus’ hands were balled into fists at his side.

 

"Though it pains me to admit it, he's right, great Grandmum, I can take care of myself. Why in the sodding hell do I have to go and follow him around like a bleeding puppy?"

 

"Because I said so.” There was just a hint of the anger from before in her voice.

 

"But why?" I knew I sounded whiny but I couldn't help, I needed to know why I was being tortured along with Angelus. He was the one that’d threated Dru and been disrespectful to Darla.

 

She sighed before she answering. "Because I don't trust you two enough not to get yourselves killed." She gave me a look as she said it, and I immediately understood what she wanted: for me to make sure Peaches didn't get himself dusted tonight while helping the Slayer.

 

Usually I would have been irritated at the subterfuge and would have called her on it, but not this time. I didn't because I understood her reason. She didn’t trust Angelus to keep his word. She still thinks that the wanker would try to find a way to wiggle himself out of the deal and I’m to keep him on the straight and narrow.

 

“Fine!” I snapped, putting on a show for Angelus. I snapped the book closed that I’d been reading and tossed it on the desk.

 

Using the move as a cover I caught Darla’s eye and nodded once. She smiled slightly and returned to her research. I picked up my coat and walked towards the door.

 

"Come on Peaches! You heard the woman, let's go help that Slayer of yours."

 

I held open the door, waiting for him to follow me out.

 

When he didn't immediately move, I yelled at him: "What the hell are you waiting for? Morning? Your Slayer could be dying for all we know, and you're busy playing statue over there. Come on!"

 

I didn't wait for a reply this time and just strode outside. I was several strides away from the house and already fishing in my pocket for a smoke when I heard the door open and close again.

 

When Angelus finally caught up with me, he growled and grabbed my upper arm, stopping me mid-step. He drug me around to face him.

 

"I don't know what you’re planning, Spike, nor why Darla had you come with me, but if you so as try to hurt one hair on Buf-"

 

"Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist."

 

I rolled my eyes at his attempt for intimidation.

 

"Old Grandmum just wants yours truly to make sure nothing happens to you while you are doing your so called redemption duty. Though god knows why you’re even trying. There’s not a blasted thing in this world that you can do to take back all those evil acts of yours. There’s no redemption for the likes of us, Angelus. The sooner you realize that the better off we’ll all be."

 

"What the hell do you know about my redemption and my destiny, Spike? You have no idea what they both are or just how much they mean to me." He shook me for emphasis.

 

I blew a stream of smoke in his face.

 

"You're right, I don't know and I don’t care. But I do know a thing or two about fighting the good fight. You shouldn’t be doing it just because you expect a pretty prize at the end. You believe that this duty the so called Powers have given you will get you redeemed? That if you continue on this path you'll find forgiveness? Absolution of your sins?”

 

I snorted.

 

“It doesn't work that way. They can have you work for them for all eternity by keeping you chasing after that carrot. Forgiveness and redemption can't be given, even by the Powers That Be. It’s a day to day struggle of repenting your past sins and doing what you can to help save as many people as you can in whatever way that you can.

 

"Is that why you three are doing this? Saving people? Fighting the good fight? Because you three are trying to earn your own brand of redemption?" he asked me.

 

I laughed out loud at his words before answering him.

 

"Weren’t you listening? I already said that there's no redemption for the likes of us. No amount of people that we save or apocalypse that we avert can erase the evil that we've done. There’s no way to wash to blood from our hands."

 

"Then what’s the point in doing good in the first place?" he cried out, pushing me away from him.

 

"That's the thing you don't understand, Angelus."

 

I forced my voice to be calm and even for him to get my point without aggrivating him any further.

 

"Doing good shouldn't have a point or a reason in the first place. You just do it because it is the right thing to do. You have soul now, it should make you know the difference between right and wrong. But most importantly it gives you a choice to make a difference, to do something out of all the darkness that you’d been forced into and to use that darkness to aid and protect those in the Light."

 

I looked away for a moment as I remembered the adventures my family encountered since we got our souls. Redemption may not be attainable but remembering the people I've met and saved, seeing the happiness and relief in their faces as I did so, and knowing how I had helped in giving them a future, it made everything worth it. This was something Angelus needed to understand. 

 

"That’s what Darla, Dru and I have been doing for the last century or so. We aid the Light and protect its people. We fight because it's the right thing to do and not because we seek forgiveness. Nobody can absolve us of our past sins anymore, because everyone we've hurt are either dead or are probably still cursing our continued existence. It's why we don't expect to be forgiven, and if we were, we wouldn't deserve it. But we do deserve to make up for our sins, and since we aren't gonna send ourselves to hell any time soon, we make up for it by doing good while we still walk this bloody planet."

 

I flicked my cigarette butt away and assessed Angel's reaction. He was silent, absorbing everything I’d just said. It made me think that perhaps he wasn't as lost a cause as I had thought. He looked like he was considering my words and maybe they’d even change him for the better. I started to believe that I hadn’t wasted my unnecessary breath on him after all.

 

"So you're saying that there is no point to what we do, because in the end we’ll still have to pay for what our past evils?"

 

I sighed, wanting so much to hit the idiotic bastard because he still didn't get what I was saying.

 

"In a matter of speaking, yes," I answered, tapping my fingers against my legs in irritation. "But again that's not the point. What I am trying to say is-"

 

"-that it's all hopeless," he cut me off. "That no matter what I do I'll still end up in hell…" He muttered a few more things under his breath as he started pacing in front of me. 

 

He just couldn’t see my argument. He was too focus on the little things to see the big picture. He can't see beyond his selfish motivations to understand that what happened to him, the curse, wasn't all that bad.

 

In fact, it had been a perfect opportunity for him to do something amazing.

 

During our talk two nights ago, when he’d explained his PTB given duty, he’d said that this was his one chance to be the great man that his grandfather had wanted him to be. What he couldn’t see was that he’d already had that chance a long time ago, from the moment he was cursed with a soul.

 

With his soul as his conscience, and the strength, the power, and the speed of a vampire, he could have done a lot of great things, saved a lot of people and fought a lot of evil. He could have been a hero, but instead, he wasted all that opportunity. Now some 'Higher Beings' were using him to do their bidding by promising him something that he had no assurance was even a possibility.

 

I wanted to force him to understand, but I didn’t know how.

 

"You're wrong!" he said, pointing a finger at me.

 

Oh great, denial. Everyone's favorite solution to their issues.

 

"I can get my redemption. The Powers said so. Buffy is my destiny, and you are just being the jealous little fledge you were a century ago! You're still trying to outdo me, but you failed, Spike. God! You almost had me, with your ‘doing good because it is right' speech. But you're not fooling me, you're just trying to confuse me and prevent me from doing my job. But I won't be swayed that easily. I know the truth. You're just envious, as you've always been, that I have a destiny while you don't, that I have a chance to redeem myself and save my soul, while you're gonna be stuck doing all the good in the world but will still end up in hell at the end. You're not going to fool me, Spike, because I'm not going to listen to any of the crap you just said."

 

He stomped off into the night.

 

While he walked away from me I was trying to rein in my emotions. I stood there shaking in anger at his stupidity.

 

How dare he say I was jealous of him? Why would I even be jealous of his so called destiny? It was trouble I didn’t need to borrow. Having a destiny takes away one’s choices and free will. I'd seen what destiny does to people, and I hated it. I saw the scars it leaves on the Slayers I befriended. I saw how much of a burden it was, and how it slowly killed them day after day, until they just stopped fighting and allowed death to take them. The destiny of being a Chosen One is what gave these amazing, strong, and wonderful girls their very own death wish at a very young age. It was wrong. Having a destiny was a quick way to die. I’d only been trying to help Angelus to see that his so called destiny was actually his doom.

 

I yelled in the direction he’d taken off.

 

"Fine! I'll bloody well let you live in that stupid river in Egypt, see if I care when that stupid destiny of yours bites you in the arse someday! I'll just be sure to be there to laugh at you when it does!"

 

I paced on the side walk and lit another smoke.

 

It took a couple of minutes for my anger to subside, and then sympathy replaced it. I felt sorry for the bastard. He'd had his soul for over a century, yet he still didn't know how to use it.

 

Unlike Darla, Dru and I who, over the course of a century, had spent a great deal of time learning about ourselves and living an unlife that meshed the demon and the soul together, Angel had spent his entire souled existence at war with himself. He hated both his demon and soul for what was happening to him. He’d played the victim instead of embracing what could be. He’d lost himself in the guilt and hadn’t had a family to help him. Had Dru not been there and seen a vision of our future in which we were fighting evil and stopping one apocalypse after another, then just like Angelus, I might have been too sorry for myself to actually care about anything. I’d probably just have walked into the sun one morning.

 

As much as I hated to admit it, Angelus needed someone to guide him to the right path, someone who knew what it is like to have a soul and revel in it rather than regret it. More importantly, he needed someone to show him how to live in this world with both a demon and a soul without favoring or upsetting one or the other.

 

Sod it, I was the perfect candidate to teach him, whether or not we liked each other or if he even wanted my help in the first place.

 

I couldn’t turn my back on him now, not when he needed me the most. I’d long ago promised myself to aid those in need, be they human, demon, or stupid, bloody, souled vampires that couldn’t see past the end of their own noses.

 

I stood there for a few more moments, savoring the end of my cigarette.

 

Oh, nicotine, how I’d missed thee.

 

Even though I’d just decided to help Angelus, that didn't mean I should just forgive the bloke for insulting me earlier. I wanted him to get his arse kicked a few times before I came to his rescue. I chained smoked three more fags, leaning up against a tree, before I decided I’d better get started on the saving Angelus from himself thing.

 

As I walked down the street following he bastard's scent, I came up with a brilliant plan.

 

I may have promised myself to help the wanker, but that didn’t mean my methods had to be all sweetness and cuddly. I chuckled as I came up with every annoying, irritating, and aggravating way I could think of that’d show Angel how to properly act as a vampire with a soul. An almost evil grin found its way onto my face. This was going to be _neat_.

 

 

 

**TBC**

 

 

**(O.O)**

 


	12. An Almost Dead Night with Two Undead Vamps

**Note: _Italics_ are Buffy's personal/Slayer thoughts.**

 

**(O.O)**

**Buffy**

 

_Slaying tonight had totally been a bust._

 

The plan had been simple. Willow, Xander and I were supposed to lure the vamps to us and then lead them to the abandoned crypt where Giles and Ms. Calendar were waiting to perform the sunlight spell thingy. It would go ‘boom’ and there’d be a big pile of vampire dust. Only so far, even though we've been walking around in cemeteries for nearly five hours, there just weren’t any vampires. It wasn’t funny, I felt super annoyed, and my friend Xander was so not helping my mood.

 

"Are we sure those vamps are going to attack tonight?" he asked for the bazillionth time.

 

"Yes. Giles and Ms. Calendar checked it twice before we left the school," I told him, throwing up my hands in exasperation and nearly sending the stake I was holding flying off into the night.

 

"So how come we haven't seen a single one of them yet?" he asked in a whiny little voice.

 

"Well, maybe they decided not to do this St. Vigeous thing," Willow timidly suggested.

 

"Maybe," I mumbled, but that didn’t seem right.

 

Xander raked a hand through his hair. "Or maybe they're just waiting for the right moment to strike. I mean seriously, guys, a night without a single vamp? Even I can tell this isn't normal by Sunnydale standards. Something must be up."

 

I paused, forgetting my irritation of my friend to consider his words, then shuddered at the truth behind them.

 

_He was right. This was Sunnydale, vampire grand central station. This town never ran out of vamps, especially on a night when they a got a mystical boost in strength_.

 

The twilight zone theme started playing in my head.

 

"Buffy," a voice suddenly echoed from behind us, making the three of us jump.

 

"Holy cannoli!" Xander yelped. He shook his finger at the souled vampire who’d surprised us. "Dang it, dead boy! Do you really have to scare us like that?!"

 

"Sorry," Angel said, only he looked anything but that. “You should know that I wasn't trying to scare any of you. It’s not my fault you're always so skittish," he told my friend in a teasing tone that had reminded me a little too much of the bullies from school.

 

I clenched my hands into fists behind my back as my irritation grew. I'd been walking all evening looking for these super-powered vamps that were supposed to be everywhere, only to not meet up with a single one of them. I was exhausted, sweaty and I had mud on my newest Slaying boots. And Angel, who's been MIA for the past few days with zero explanations as to where he's been and what had happened between him and his Sire, suddenly deciding to show up and making fun of Xander was just the last straw. Anger boiled inside me and it looked like the broody vampire was about to be the outlet for my rage.

 

_And geez, he hadn’t even really said ‘hi’ to me yet._

"What are you doing here, Angel?" I asked angrily, my emerald eyes boring into his.

 

He flinched and my lips curled up at the corners in satisfaction. On the inside I was grinning wider than the Cheshire Cat.

 

_Good. Hopefully this would teach him not to annoy an already peeved Slayer by making fun of her friends and ignoring and forgetting about her while being busy running off with another girl. Even if that girl was his Sire._

 

"I'm here to help you, Buffy." Angel looked at me with the sad and hurt look that always made me feel guilty for doing something to put it on his handsome face. "I thought you needed it tonight and would be grateful. I mean…I believed you'd be happy to see me because I'm happy to see you. I-I just didn't expect you to be angry with me."

 

Despite how annoyingly arrogant his words sounded, my resolve wavered as he continued to wear his hang dog look. I tried to stay angry at him, I really did. I’d even been thinking about kicking his butt and punching his nose a time or two. But once I saw that look, I knew I was a goner.

 

_Stupid vampire._

I wanted to berate him, only when I opened my mouth that’s not what came out.

 

"I appreciate it, Angel." I told him instead, making him smile warmly at me.

 

It was that warmth that didn’t quite touch his eyes that made me angry at myself for caving to him.

 

That ire was what colored my next words. "But you forget how worried you made me, how scared. Angel, you shouldn't make someone who cares about you upset by disappearing like you did. I had no idea where you were and besides that stupid note you left, I had no idea what happened to you or if you were okay. I would have understood, really, had you just spent a few minutes of your precious time to explain things to me. Now, you suddenly show up, jumping out of the bushes like the boogey man, scaring the bejeezus out of us and you expect me to be happy? To appreciate your efforts? That's not how things are done, Angel. You want to help us? Well, thanks. But you shouldn't look as if I should sing your praises because of it.” I stared into his eyes, surprised at how good it felt, how confident I sounded while Angel bowed his head and his shoulders slumped.

 

"I'm sorry, Buffy," he said and actually meant it this time. "I didn't mean to make you worry. I was so caught up in the problems that I hadn't stop to consider how you felt when I left abruptly without talking to you. Can you forgive me?"

 

The sincerity of his apology made me all melty again. So I smiled at him when this time his smile reached all the way to his eyes. I was happy that I’d been able to make him both understand my feelings and feel comfortable enough with me to relax and give me such an honest espression in such a short time span. It made me feel special because I knew I was the only one capable of getting him, Mr. Stoic-and-always-brooding, to smile that way.

 

_You sure about that? What about that cover-girl model Sire of his? I bet she can get him to smile in more ways than one._ One part of my brain evilly whispered to me.

 

_Eww._ I thought as the images of him and his Sire doing _things_ together ran through my mind.

"So, what about Darla?" I suddenly asked, trying to ignore the disgusting mental pictures.

 

"Darla? How do you know about her?" he asked, looking like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights.

 

I rolled my eyes at this. "She's your Sire, and the woman who you disappeared with a couple of days ago. We looked her, and the rest of your insipid little family, up. I guess that's the 'personal problem' you had to deal with, huh?" I crossed my arms, and glared while Willow and Xander were doing their best to disappear behind us.

 

He looked guilty, which made me suspicious.

_What the hell did he do to feel guilty about?!?_ I inwardly cried angrily.

 

"Yeah, she, Dru and Spike are the personal problems I had to deal with," he confirmed without volunteering anything extra. And anything resembling to the good feelings I had acquired a few minutes ago were flushed right down the metaphorical drain.

 

"So, since you're here, I guess it's safe to say that you took care of them?" Xander butted in looking just as angry as I was.

 

_Huh, guess I wasn't the only one who thinks Angel is being a major poophead tonight._

 

"Yeah. They won't be a problem," Angel continued with the cryptic.

 

"You mean you dusted all three of them?" I asked as my stomach suddenly clenched hard at the thought of Spike's death and I found the sudden need to put my hand on a brick wall to keep myself upright.

 

"Not exactly," he said, suddenly confusing me.

 

"What do you mean?" I asked irritated. I was really running out of patience with his refusal to give me a straight answer.

 

"It doesn't matter now. All I can say is that they won't do anything remotely evil while they’re here in Sunnydale."

 

"So they're still un-dusty?" Willow tried to clarify, earning a sharp look from Angel.

 

She shrunk back from the vampire and I stepped in between them. Angel was acting weird tonight. He’d teased Xander, tried to cow me, and was now vaguely threatening Willow. He’d never been this jerky to us before, despite how out of place we always made him feel when he hung out with us. He never got angry, even when Xander would called him names and insults him. It made me wonder if this sudden change had something to do with his vampire family being in town. That really didn’t excuse him being an asshole, however, and he should answer the question.

 

"Willow has a point, Angel. Did you or did you not dust those vampires? I want a straight answer." I scowled at him with my hands on my hips. I looked him up and down. "I need to know, Angel. I need to know whether those three are a threat or not."

 

Rage darkened his features and I reached for my stake, just in case he suddenly decided to attack.

 

_With the way he's been acting tonight? I wouldn't be surprised._

 

His eyes followed my hand’s movement, growing wide as he figured out what I was doing. He took a step back and let out a deep sigh before resuming his usual ‘I'm in constant suffering’ expression.

 

"They're not a threat, Buffy," he reiterated, and stalled again.

 

"Why? Why would you think so? And why won't you just tell me? What are you hiding, Angel?" I asked, my voice rising with each question. I was really reaching my limit with him.

 

"Why do you have to know? I already told you, they are not a threat. They won't do anything to hurt anyone while they're here. You’ll just have to take my word for it." His voice had gotten louder and louder, but now he dropped it. "Trust me, I know what's good for you."

 

_What?!_

 

I blinked in confusion, before it was replaced by anger.

 

  _Who the hell does he think he is to decide that? No one knows what's good for me but me!_

 

I was about to unload my fury on him when a very boisterous laughter coming from under one of the shady trees of the cemetery interrupted us.

 

"What the hell are you doing here?" Angel growled at the shadowy figure moving from beneath the trees.

 

The back of my neck erupted into tingles. I shivered as I recognized who the figure was.

 

_Spike!_ I thought excitedly.

 

Any and all thoughts of my argument with Angel were forgotten and were quickly replaced by images of the bleach blond, sexy vampire in front of me.

 

I’d been trying to keep myself from thinking about him all evening. If I had let myself, then I’d have just chased questions of his allegiances and possible degree of evilness round and round my head all night. Not a plus when I was supposed to be focusing on souped-up Night of St. Vigeous vampires.  I still found the guy crazy hot, even if he was undead, but I couldn’t let that cloud my judgement on tonight of all nights. I stared at him warily as he strutted towards us. As he got closer my hand closed around the stake in my back pocket.

 

"No need for that, pet. As the overused saying goes: I come in peace!" He raised both hands in mock surrender.

 

"I'll ask you again, Spike. What are you doing here?" Angel growled in a deep voice, throaty and threatening, while his eyes shifted yellow. He bared his fangs at the other vampire.

 

After seeing this behavior from him, I gestured to Willow and Xander to move back away from us, so it would be easier for me to move and defend them in case I have to. My heart was racing in both fear and anticipation, because the first time since I’d met Angel, I was genuinely afraid of him. It was a strange feeling to have especially since he was supposed to be someone who’s told to protect me. I always viewed him as a partner and trusted him to have my back, even though he was a vampire, I’d never truly felt that he was dangerous.

 

_Creepy, yes, but never dangerous._

 

Until now.

 

Now as I looked at him, he didn’t resemble the Angel that I know of. He just resembled a monster that I should slay. So I readied myself for the possible confrontation of two extremely powerful master vampires, that could even be more stronger because of this special Night.

 

"Oh, do tune down the aggression, you poof. Need I remind you that we're in the presence of the brass off Slayer that you unknowingly pissed? ‘Cause either that’s a stake she’s got a hold of or she’s happy to see me." He jerked his head in my direction, catching my eye and winking.

 

Angel looked alarmed, all the fight going out of him. He stepped towards me, as if he was assessing the truth in the other vampire's words. I showed Angel my stake, glowering at him. And to his credit, he looked a little ashamed. He let out a long heavy sigh and ran a hand down his face.

 

"What are you doing here, Spike?" He asked again, his voice tired and exasperated.

 

Spike snorted. "Already told you earlier. Great-Grandmummy wants me to make sure you don't accidentally off yourself tonight. You're no good to Dru dusty." He crossed his arms over his chest and raised his scarred eyebrow as if to say: 'duh.'

 

Angel narrowed his eyes. "I can take care of myself, Spike. I have been doing so for the last century."

 

"Oh, and by taking care of yourself, do you mean the time you spent half starved because you’d only munch on rats or maybe you mean the time you spent living in the sewers and forgot all together about general hygiene? Should I go on?"

 

"Shut up, Spike."

 

"Why? Does the truth hurt too much, Angelus?"

 

"I told you, it's Angel now."

 

"Angel, Liam, Angelus. You're still the arrogant wanker you've always been. You should know by now that getting your soul back doesn't change that fact. You don't see Darla, Dru and I go changing our names just because we got all souled up."

 

Had I heard that right? Could it be that Willow and Xander were correct?

 

"Hah! We were right!" Xander happily exclaimed, voicing out exactly what was on my mind and looking back at Willow for her approval. He pointed at Spike. "You guys do have souls. It's the only logical explanation for a bunch of vamps saving us the other night."

 

Spike huffed a sigh. "Well, if you want to be technical, then yeah, the soul did help in getting us to help you lot the other night. But you really I wouldn't put too much faith in souls, mate. I mean, take this wanker for example." He gestured at Angel. "His soul did nothing for him than to make him a broody, self-righteous git with a gigantic forehead."

 

The statement made Angel scowl at the other vamp while my friends both laugh at Angel’s expense. While I was simply conflicted on how to react to the entire thing. I mean, I know I should get angry at the bleached vampire for insulting my boyfriend, only I was way too elated at finding out that he wasn't evil.

 

_Now I could openly flirt with him._

 

I shook off the thought and got back to the current situation.

 

"Okay, so you guys are ensoulled, huh? How'd you end up like that?" I asked.

 

"Same as Angel here. Did a bad thing to a bunch of Romanian gypsies, got punished with a soul," he answered while checking out his pockets for something.

 

"So you're one of the good guys now?" I needed to be completely clear as to where we stood.

 

"Well, I usually prefer to be called the Big Bad for all Big Bads but for your sake, I'll stick to calling myself a white hat." He gave me a sexy smirk before lighting the cigarette he’d been searching for in his pockets.

 

"And the rest of your vampire family?" I asked, ignoring how my heart beat faster at that smirk and just sticking to making a face when he exhaled the smoke from his cancer stick.

 

"They're just like me, pet. Cursed and warriors for the side of good."

 

I nodded my head in approval, happy to at last get some straight answers.

 

_Unlike a certain other stupid soulled vampire who thinks he knows so much about me._

I made a point of not looking at Angel.

 

"So what are you guys doing in town?" Willow asked, ignoring Angel as well. "Are you here to help Buffy too?"

 

"Naw, nothing of the sort, Red. We're actually here to ask Captain Forehead for help to save Dru. She's my Sire and got sick after being tortured by a mob in Prague. They’d mistook us for the demons that killed their women. She said that Angel's the only one who can save her, so we traveled across the pond just to find Gramps and ask for his help."

 

"Oh," was Willow's only reply. She sounded disappointed. I wasn't sure why, but truthfully I felt the same way. It would have been awesome if he’d come to town because of me, like Angel had.

 

_Ego, much?_

I crushed those illogical feelings. I mean, why would I feel such a thing in the first place? It's not like I've known him long enough to actually expect anything out of him.

 

Spike was giving me a sly look as he continued to take drags on his smoke. "Although, since I am already in town I wouldn't mind lending a hand to the local Slayer and her friends. Assuming she’s alright with that?" He watched me from under his long lashes, all sexy and expectant.

 

I refrained drooling, but just barely. Then I stared into his deep blue eyes that reminded me just how different he was from Angel. His eyes were so human, alive and vibrant, so different than any vampire I’ve met, that it made me want to trust him immediately. But I shouldn’t determine who he was just by the look of his eyes, no matter what that saying goes about them. I can never be a hundred percent sure about the kind of person he was, or if I should trust him just by looking in to those blue orbs.

 

I don’t know him well enough to determine that, I reminded myself.

 

_But, ooh, you want to…_ Naughty brain told me.

 

I really needed to quit this. Angel was my boyfriend. I'd barely started solving the mystery of the first souled vampire I’d met; I shouldn't be thinking about another one. I was getting irritated at myself and my lack of self-control. Lately I’d been going nuts: fighting with Angel and dancing like a slut with a stranger I never even met.

 

_Not like that stranger was all that bad…_

 

"Aaaahh!" I yelled, throwing up my hands.

 

Something was seriously wrong with me. Ever since that fateful night at the Bronze, I'd not been acting like myself. It was like I had another person or thing inside of me making me behave all irrational. I was getting worried. I really need to talk Giles about this. This wasn't natural. It could even be dangerous.

 

Willow placed her hand on my arm and I looked up into her worried face. "Buffy, are you okay?"

 

"Huh?" was my mouth's stupid reply.

 

"I asked if you're okay. You kinda just screamed at Spike for no reason."

 

I glanced around. Everyone was looking at me like I’d grown another head or something.

"Sorry! I was thinking of something annoying and well--I was frustrated--and thus explains the screaming and the phasing out and--"

 

"Don't worry about it, pet," Spike said cutting off my babbling. Amusement shone in his eyes and I blushed in embarrassment.

 

"Yeah, don’t fret about it. Spike always did have a way with women that made them scream even before he bedded them.” Angel was glaring daggers at Spike. I know that he was trying to insult Spike in attempt to make me feel better, but I don't really cared much for the gesture, in fact I was too busy being speechless from the words ‘scream’ and ‘bedded’ being used in the same sentence in reference to the other soulled vamp.

 

I sighed. _I was hopeless._

As I attempted to cool myself down, the argument between the two vampires started to heat up.

 

"Oh, please, Angelus, quit turning the tables. Everyone knows you're the one who loves to make women scream. Turned you on, it did." Spike said to Angel, smiling smugly before he continued: "The only reason mine ever did holler was because I was so damn good looking they'd climax before I'd even touched them.”

 

Angel snorted. "Didn't seem like that to me, Willie. If memory serves me right, you could barely pick up a good prey before the night ended. Dru and I had to share our food with you just to keep you from starving."

 

"You’re getting senile, old man. You're starting to forget quite a lot of things. Remember Paris? I brought home a group of ballerinas for you to chow on. Oh, and let's not forget that boarding school in Russia and that orphanage in Austria. Seems to me I have a better record of getting our small little family fed than you ever did." Spike was right up in Angel’s face now.

 

"Oh, please, boy. You weren't you alone. Either Darla or Dru was with you, or is it you that’s forgotten. Well, except in Paris, of course. Though I'm quite certain I was the one who got those lovely women to come with us that night."

 

"You?” Spike laughed. “I was the one doing all the talking! You were too busy fantasizing about the prima ballerina to come up with any reason for them to follow us!"

 

"If I hadn't invited the lead to join us the rest would have never gone along with it!"

 

"Pish! They'd have joined us with or without their leader! And it wasn't you who invited them, I did that!"

 

"That's--"

 

“Enough!” I roared. Both vampires sputtered to a stop. Willow and Xander had gone green from all their stupid reminiscing, while I’d found my stake back in my hand.

 

It made me sick. Not just by the wicked deeds they did but also at the fact that the two didn't seemed to be as disturbed by what they'd done as I thought they should be. Shouldn’t their souls be preventing this century old pissing contest?

 

I didn't know Spike well enough to make a proper judge of his character, maybe he walked around guilt-free but actively trying to redeem himself. Angel, on the other hand, was usually haunted by what he’d done.

 

I’d never seen him like this before. The puffed-up, aggressive and competitive vampire in front of me was not someone I recognized. He was rude, mean and sounded way too sure of himself. This arrogant creature was the complete opposite what I considered my Angel. If I didn't know any better, I would have said he was an entirely different person. It made me wonder whether the sensitive and caring Angel I knew even existed or if he was just a lie the animal in front of me had created to make me like him.

 

_No! Angel wouldn't do that! He's kind, helpful and was chosen by some higher being to aid me. He's the hero type. He wouldn't do such a thing to me. He loves me too much, or at last I think he does. He wouldn't lie to me. He wouldn't hide anything from me because boyfriends and girlfriends don't lie to each other. His strange behavior is just because of his family visiting that's all._ I tried to reassure myself.

 

But deeper part of my mind already knew the truth: there’d always been something about Angel that didn't sit well with me. I’d always thought it was because of the whole vampire thing, but I don't seem to have the same problems with Spike. Maybe it was because I’d already been open to the concept of a good vampire with a soul.

 

_Nice try, it’s because he’s a hottie._

That voice again. I was close to screaming again. I really needed to talk Giles.

 

Anyway back to going back, I can call it a hunch, female intuition or whatever, but the truth of the matter is that I had never trusted Angel to be completely honest with me before, and everything tonight that’d I witnessed seemed to confirmed that I was right. The guy was hiding a lot of things from me, and his behavior tonight was just proof of that.

 

"What the hell is wrong with you two?” I snapped, stepping between the vampires. “Talking about those things! You have souls now; you're not supposed to be competing with each other about who's done more evil. You certainly shouldn’t be doing in front of the Slayer and her friends! My staking arm is getting twitchy!"

 

"Tell ‘em, Buffster!" Xander cheered me on. I shot him a smile over my shoulder.

 

_Guess Xander has more guts than I give him credit for_

 

"You're one of the good guys now." I looked straight at Angel's eyes, making sure he got the silent reprimanding message, before turning my attention to Spike's baby blues. "If you really want to help us, you two need to stop this stupid argument. No more ‘I was the better evil vampire’ from either of you. We've wasted enough time as it is. Who knows what sort of damage the vamps in town have been doing since we've been standing here. Let's get our wits together and find the bad guys. This Saint V thingy is still going on. Giles and Ms. Calendar are waiting." I spun on my heel and marched off, waving at everyone to follow me.

 

Spike caught up to me and fell instep.

 

"You meant Saint Vigeous, didn't you luv?" he asked. "Your lot know about it then?"

 

"Yeah. Heard it's a big vamp thing. A night that gives you guys a boost in strength and stuff. Ms. Calendar even called it the ‘night of attack,’ 'cause I was supposed to be attacked in numbers." I shrugged. "Although, I'm beginning to think it’s a hoax since we've been walking around all night and haven't seen a single vampire besides you two."

 

"Well, at least you got the power boost part right. The rest of it's wrong though." Spike had lit another cigarette and was blowing the smoke out of the side of his mouth opposite me.

 

"What do you mean?" Willow asked from behind us in a tremulous voice.

 

"The Night of Saint Vigeous is indeed a big thing to vamps, only not to every single vampire around. To get the power boost there’s a hell of an involved ritual to go through."

 

"Wait? There's a ritual?" I blinked in surprise. "Giles and Ms. Calendar didn't say anything about that."

 

"They must've read it from one those Veruvian books. The wanker who wrote them always did have his accounts wrong when it came to these things. Anyway, yeah there's a ritual. It takes a week to perform but the results are exemplary. The Annoying One was mucking about with it when we offed him. Brat was too much of a traditionalist if you ask me." Spike took a long drag on his cigarette.

 

"Whoa!” Xander gasped. “You were the one who dusted the Anointed One?"

 

"Yeah, I killed him, while Darla took care of most of his followers. She and Dru were always better at massacring minions than I was. I tend to enjoy the challenge of a more difficult prey. Anyway, going back, Saint Vigeous can’t happen without the ritual, and the final rituals can’t be done until the moon’s at its highest peak." He paused to look above us at the bright full moon, which had started to slip towards the horizon. "It appears that the ritual's time limits have already past. Once the ritual's completed, the vampire gets a power boost which lasts of more than one night. It's why St. Vigeous and his crew were able to do so much damage back in the day. Their extra strength lasted for an entire month."

 

My eyes widened at this newest information. It seemed that Giles and Ms. Calendar missed a lot of things about this event. I imagined what would have happened had the Anointed One and his men had completed the ritual. They would have leveled Sunnydale and moved on to bigger and better places and taken those down too. Thank god Spike and his family had taken care of that.

 

"If this Vigeous thing only happens to the vamps who did the ritual, and Spike stopped it from happening when he killed the Anointed One, that means there's no super powered vamps that are gonna be attacking us tonight!" Xander sounded relieved.

 

"Looks like it, Xan. Guess there was no point in all the preparing we did after all." I laughed.

 

"Don't be too sure about that, Slayer," a gruff voice echoed around us.

 

The owner of the voice appeared out of the woods that surrounded the cemetery that we were currently walking next to. The hulking vampire was accompanied by the nine of the meanest looking vamps I’d ever seen. There was a dark mist surrounding them. Their demon faces were thicker and harder looking than usual, their fangs were bigger and sharper and their ember eyes shone bright and harder than diamonds. Frankly they were terrifying. The leader was the scariest of the bunch. He was this big muscle-ly guy that was even taller than Angel. He had clean cut hair and wore a very tight fitting wife-beater that showed off his huge muscles. The look was completed with fatigue pants and combat boots. He looked like a commander from those old Vietnam War movies. Only with fangs and bumpies.

 

_Oh, boy. I should've taken Xander's suggestion of vacationing somewhere far away more seriously!_

 

"Better start praying, Slayer, 'cause only God can save you now," the leader sneered.

 

"Now, that's where you're wrong, mate," Spike stepped up beside me and flicked his cigarette butt into the street. He blew the last puff of smoke out through his nose, reminding me that I had a bad-ass vampire fighting on my side too. "God's not the only one who can do miracles around here. You'd be surprise at what one Slayer, two ensoulled vampires and a couple of kids can do to that little army of yours."

 

He said the last part with such conviction that even though I knew we weren't that strong of a group, I suddenly felt confident that we would win this fight.

 

"Hey, I remember you!" one of the super-powered vampire henchmen exclaimed while pointing at Spike. "You're with that blonde vampire bitch who's been all over town asking about the Slayer and her pet: the traitor Angelus. I heard you’ve been killing vampires and other demons."

 

"Ain't just a rumor, you pillock. I do hunt and kill demons. Including the Anointed One. And the vampiress you just called a bitch? She’s family and I don't take it lightly when some random fledgling calls her names. So I'd tread carefully or I might just give you a firsthand demonstration on how I can kill a Fyarl demon with my bare hands." Spike's eyes shifted to yellow for a second.

 

The menace in his voice caused the minion to back away in fear. I melted on the inside watching Spike. He had this air of danger and confidence around him that was intoxicating. It made me grateful that he was on my side.

 

The vampire leader bayed with laughter, forcing my attention back to him. "So you're the vampire responsible for bringing down that brat? Wonderful! I had wanted to thank you for doing that! Everyone thought that that boy was so special just because he was chosen by The Master. Fools. He was but a mere fledge and wouldn't even know how to control real power if it was given to him! I, on the other hand, have been ruling over this town's underground for years!” The big vampire thumped his chest. “That child thought he could take over because The Master chose him! Idiot! I’d wanted that brat dusted ever since he stole the loyalty of some of my people, and you did that! You dusted the boy and his minions! I applauded you for your work and as payment, I've decided to let you go. Leave this town and take your family with you. There’s no place for you here."

 

_Ugh. Arrogant much? Who's gave you the idea that this was your turf?_

 

"Wrong again, mate. Firstly, I ain't a coward, so it's insulting that you're even offering me a free pass to leave without a taste of a good fight. Secondly, you can't tell me to leave town since you ain't got no power over me, you overgrown prat. Thirdly, this ain't your town. The Hellmouth belongs to the Slayer, and you're stupid to even think she'd just hand it over to you." Spike patted his pockets and reached into an inside pocket of his coat.

 

_Yup, this vampire had officially made my ‘Top 5 Most Favorite Men of All Time’ list._

A vein on the forehead of the bulky leader looked like it was about to explode. He pointed a thick finger at me. "Well, it's a good thing the Slayer’s gonna die tonight, asshole! I’m going to end her and then make you regret you were ever turned!”

 

"I don't think so," Spike said calmly. There was a twang as a bowstring snapped. Spike had shot an arrow from the miniature crossbow, that he’d been concealing in his coat, at the leader of the vamps.

 

At the last second the vampire leader jerked one of his minions in front of him and the arrow thudded into the unlucky vampire’s chest. He crumbled into dust. Snarling, the vampire leader gestured to his minions.

 

"Kill them!" he snarled. “Kill them all!”

 

The battle began.

 

**(O.O)**


	13. An Angel's Dilemma

 

**(O.O)**

**Angel**

This was by far one of the worst night of my unlife, second only to the night I had my soul returned to me. So many terrible things have happened tonight that I lost nearly lost track of the count.

 

First there was Darla threatening to hurt me if I left Dru to die.

 

Usually I didn't mind being threatened.

 

But the way she did it, using her demon to scare mine and force it into submission? Well, let's just say it was not a pleasant experience for me.

 

I'm nearly three hundred years old and a master vampire. I shouldn't have to feel that way. Especially because it was coming from the Sire who abandoned me a long time ago.

 

I hated that she was still able to force my hand like that.

 

The second unbearable thing was Spike's little speech about my destiny followed by having him accompany me to see Buffy.

 

I could deal with the latter, since I'd already spent the last two days getting reacquainted with William's annoying tendencies. I knew for certain that as long as I kept the peroxide idiot from looking better than me in front of Buffy then there'd be no problems.

 

So it was really just his pontification that’d bothered me.

 

Even as a fledgling, Spike had always been an insightful bastard. He had a talent for seeing the truth of things. And with that silver tongue of his, he’d used those truths to either hurt his victims or distract his opponents. Tonight I had the displeasure of being on of his victims. Although whether he was using his words to spite me or to actually help me, I couldn't tell.

 

Still I’d heard a lot of painful truths and it’d practically turned my current world upside down.

 

He’d called me out over my destiny, saying that there was no point to it and that the Powers were probably lying to me. He’d told me that despite everything I did to help Buffy, I'd still have to pay for all the evil I did as Angelus, that I was only fooling myself by thinking that the good I am currently doing would be my salvation someday.

 

But the last nail of the box in it all was when he told me that I wasn't doing my job right because I was only focused on the girl and not on actually helping people.

 

I didn’t understand why Spike was upset while he told me that last part though.

 

My entire mission was to help the girl. It was only natural that I would be more focused on her and not the rest of humanity. It was simple logic.

 

But if I really think about it. I guess I can't really say that he had a point during his little ranting.

 

Even though it pains me to admit, I can say that he might be right in most of the things he said.

 

And the fact that I thought so actually terrified me.

 

The idea that Spike's words were right frightened me because it would mean that I was going be the kind of man my grandfather predicted I would be.

 

I had carried that piece of dream from my human life throughout my entire vampire existence. It was just devastating to imagine I’d have to give it up for I would never live up to grandpa's words.

 

That's one of the main reasons I denied Spike and everything he just said, even going so far as insulting him and telling him that he was jealous of me and my destiny. It was because I didn’t want any doubts planted in my psyche that would take away what I’d believed in for so long.

 

Too bad, despite my denial, my stupid guiltfull soul was already considering such option.

 

 

Anyway, the last and most worst part of my evening had been my encounter with Buffy.

 

Don't get me wrong, I’d been happy to see her, but I was still reeling from my stay with my family and my conversation with Spike, so I may had lost control and had accidentally showed her the side of me I had been suppressing since I met her.

 

Of course she obviously not been impressed with what she saw. Her hand had even gone for her stake a couple of time. Spike appearing and derailing me into that stupid argument with him hadn’t helped my case either. Buffy had lectured and scolded me in the end and the disgust I saw in her eyes as she looked at me, had broken my unbeating heart.

 

I had wanted to explain my behavior but I hadn’t been able to since we’d had an audience.

 

It galled me that for whatever reason I was the only one she was upset with. She wasn't mad at Spike, and he was the one who’d started the ‘no I’m more evil’ conversation in the first place. Buffy was furious with me because I’d been unable to stop myself from falling for his barbs.

 

Slings and arrows. The whole mess was unfair but I couldn't do anything about it since we all still had to finish patrol. It was the Night of Saint Vigeous after all.

 

We didn’t get three steps before a bunch of vampire hopped up on the Ritual of Vigo attacked. Now, we were outnumbered and possibly outclassed. Spike's failed attempt to kill their leader had only enraged them further.

 

"This night just kept getting better and better," I thought bitterly as a vamp hit me square in chest and sent me flying into a gravestone.

 

It was like being hit by a truck. As I sagged to the grassy ground I realized that this was a battle we were going to lose.

 

Excluding the leader, who stood a few meters away and was simply watching the fight, there were still five of the bastards left. The three of us: Buffy, Spike and I, were having a hard time keeping up with them.

 

And it wasn't just because these vampires were stronger than usual, they were also much more skilled than they looked.

 

Buffy had been fighting a guy that looked like an Elvis impersonator. He was fast and had these crazy moves that I knew my Slayer couldn't keep up with.

 

Spike opponents were using some form of martial arts on him and were showering him with one attack after another, not even giving him time to adjust to their style of fighting.

 

My opponents, on the other hand, were good fighters as well, but it was the distracting crud they were wearing that was going to be my downfall.

 

The cowboy costume was one thing, though it did make me wonder where the rest of the Village People were, but the guy in the full-body latex suit was just downright disturbing.

 

I was so caught up in their costume spectacle that the latex-guy was able to hoist me up from the ground and hold me in place with a surprisingly strong grip. I looked up to see his cowboy companion with stake in hand, and I knew I was going die.

 

I simply couldn't help but be comforted by the thought.

 

Everything was finally over. I didn't have to live this life of regret, guilt, and lies anymore. I smiled and closed my eyes, awaiting my end.

 

Only the killing blow never came though.

 

"Bastard!" Latex guy screamed from behind me. I opened my eyes just in time to see Spike finish staking the cowboy.

 

"What the hell are you doing Angelus?! If you think you can welch your way out of helping Dru by dying, think again!" he yelled at me.

 

I glared back at him, despite the fact I was a bit grateful for his assistance.

 

"I'm sure Darla knows a few spells that can haul your arse out of hell and have you tortured by her inst–ugh!"

 

He was cut off as one of his original opponents tackled him to the ground. But I didn't waste my time on watching him fight, because I’d finally decided to do the same. I struggled against the grip on my body but it wasn’t easy getting out of latex-guy’s hold.

 

"Hehehe, you can't do a thing, traitor. I'm stronger than you now. And since Winston's gone and I don't have a stake on me, I'll just crush your bones and then finish you off later after I've killed the Billy idol wannabe."

 

He tightened his grip on my upper body and I could hear and feel my bones cracking as his grip got tighter and tighter. I screamed in pain. If this kept up he'd crush my arms, ribs, and spine and I wouldn't be able to move after that.

 

I would still end up dead. I had then realized.

 

But moments after that thought ran through my head, I heard Buffy's pained scream and immediately realized that dying was not an option. Her opponent had one of her arm twisted behind her back and ready to break.

 

"Buffy!" I yelled, terrified for her.

 

"Aw, don't worry. Slayer's not going to die alone. You and Billy will be joining her soon!" My captor laughed.

 

I struggled harder and but he just kept tightening his hold.

 

"Of course, we're probably goin to make her suffer first. Hmmm, I wonder if she's a screamer when she’s being bedded? Once we're done with her she'll no longer be called the Vampire Slayer but the Vampire Layer. We’ll all take a ride and I’ll even let you watch. I bet you’d like that. Hmm?"

 

After hearing his words, I simply saw red. A possessive rage overcame me at the thought of Buffy being violated by these lowly vampires.

 

My face shifted from its human visage as I lost all control of my demon. I growled angrily and flexed my suddenly stronger muscles. Surprising my captor, I easily broke away from his grasp. I turned to face him and slammed my fist into his fangs.

 

He stumbled backward.

 

I swung again, connecting with nose, sending  blood gushing down is distorted face. I didn't stop there. Immediately I rushed him, giving him a combination of powerful punches that he barely had a chance to deflect or counter.

 

My attacks came so fast that his boosted strength was rendered useless. He was staggering and clutchin his broken ribs while blood dripped down his face.

 

It was obvious that he could no long fight, but I couldn’t stop, not when he’d threatened Buffy in such a vile way.

 

I grabbed him by the throat and slammed his already weakened body to the ground, raining more blows down on him. I kept hitting him until he sagged unconscious.

 

I was still angry. My demon even wanted to wake him up and torture the bastard for fantasizing about doing something like that to my Slayer. And I would've indulged those delusions had I not remembered that I was not alone. My companions were still fighting.

 

Reluctantly, I ended the vamp's existence with the stake I kept hidden underneath my jacket.

 

After he crumbled to dust I shook off my demon and rose to assess how the battle was going.

 

Spike's opponents were really giving him a hard time. Their added power up was obviously a huge problem for him. He was taking a lot of hits and looking worse for wear. But despite the disadvantage it looked like William was also giving the pair a run for their money. Though in obvious pain, the boy was still smiling and performing some amazing moves, that even I couldn't help but admire. For now he was holding his own.

 

As I watched his battle I couldn't help but remember the young fledge that William had been a long time ago. He’d been so new to the outside world that Angelus had needed to show him everything. Hunting, fighting and even basic self-defense. Angelus had taken him under his wing not only because Dru couldn't do it but also because the boy had shown a lot of potential. Angelus became his unofficial Sire and the boy became his responsibility. Though there’d been a lot of times he wanted to kill the boy, Angelus hadn’t because in his own way he loved Spike and thought of him as part of his family.

 

Now, as the fight continued and it looked like Spike was finally getting the upper hand, the demon inside me roared with pride, one of the few good emotions it was capable of. William had come far from being the weak, ignorant little fledge he once was. Now he was a warrior. My eyes narrowed as I realized that while I’d been struggling with my soul for years to just maintain who I was, Spike had used that time to change and grow, apparently all for the better. I couldn’t believe how my demon was acting.

 

I resented how unfair it was that William had seemingly one upped me.

 

"I was older than him and the one with a destiny, a great future, and a higher purpose. So why was he the one getting the praise from _my_ demon?" I thought childishly.

 

The monster within seethed and raged at me.

 

I hated feeling this way, torn between my soul and demon. So I stopped watching the bastard as he kicked his enemies' asses and instead focused my attention on Buffy.

 

She’d gotten out of the arm lock and it looked like she was finally getting a handle on her opponent. It was obvious that she could now read the vamp's next move by how swiftly she was evading and countering his. The vamp lunged at her with his fist leading, and she simply took a side step and let the punch hit a headstone. After making a quip on his opponent's wardrobe and how he wasn't as good of a dancer as Elvis, she closed in on her opponent and blindsided him as he was recovering from his overreach. They continued exchanging blows until the vampire got frustrated and reckless. He was no longer using his speed or skills in the fight, instead he was relying solely on his newly acquired strength by focusing on hitting Buffy as hard as he could. It worked at first as Buffy took a couple of painful hits to her body, but my Slayer wasn't that easy to defeat. She shrugged off the pain and barreled into the vampire with a combination of punches and kicks while continuing to duck or parry her opponent's wild swings. It wasn't long before she finally got a good shot at him, right below his ear, that left him disoriented.  Buffy launched a final strike. She picked up a stake from the ground and shoved it almost clean through fake-Elvis’ chest. Both him and his blue suede shoes turned to dust.

 

"Buffy!" I called as I ran to her side.

 

"Angel, are you alright," she asked, trying to touch my forehead.

 

I subtly avoided her hand and cautiously raise mine to examine what had caught her attention. I felt something wet and pulled back my hand. Blood was streaked across my fingers.

 

"Huh, I didn't even notice that I was injured. Must've happened when I hit that gravestone," I muttered.

 

"Does it hurt?" she asked, making me look at her. Concern was shining in her eyes.

 

It made me happy to see that worried look, because it meant that I hadn't screwed up everything between us tonight.

 

"Don't fret about me, Buffy, I'll be fine."

 

"Are you sure?" she asked, looking as young and innocent as she's always been. It made my demon rattle in its cage. It really wanted me to take her here and now. Possess her so that no other could ever touch her.

 

I shoved the thought at the back of my mind, ignored the demon's taunting, and answered my Slayer's question. "Yeah, I'm sure. It’s just a cut."

 

For a second she smiled at me, but it was so fleeting that I didn’t have a chance to smile back before it was gone. She gave me a curt nod before turning to William's fight. I had to bite back the growl that was threatening to come out as I watched her stare at the battle before her. Emotions flicked across her face. Awe and admiration along with an underlining hint of worry. I hated seeing that it they were all being directed to Spike. And why was she looking that way at him? It's not like she knew him. Didn't she?

 

I then remembered that night at Buffy's school and how surprised and worried she looked when Spike, Xander, and I had appeared to help her after she’d been taken captive. I’d thought that the appearance of Xander and I, coming to her rescue, had been what had garnered those expressions. But maybe that wasn't it at all. I remembered her eyes landing on Spike for a moment and widening with some unreadable emotion. But that didn’t answer my questions about why and how she knew him. When would they have had a chance to meet?

 

I desperately wanted answers but William had just finished dusting his last enemy.

 

"Well, that was fun! Remind me to thank Darla for letting me out tonight. Seriously Angel, if this is the kind of fights you get to have every night here on the Hellmouth, I'm definitely staying after Dru's cured. This is the best rough and tumble I've had ever since bloody Prague!"

 

"Oh please, no, he couldn’t stay."

 

"Think about that later," Buffy told the overly enthusiastic Spike. "We're not done here yet."

 

The three of us turned to face the leader of the vampire group we had just slain.

 

"So, bulky, looks like you're the only one left. How about you come over here and we finish this. I have a hot shower with my name on it once this is all over." I tried to ignore the mental images my sweet, innocent Slayer was painting and focus instead on appearing mean and threatening to the large vampire in front of us.

 

Something was wrong. He didn't look scared, despite the fact that he was now the one at a disadvantage.

 

"Shit!" Spike cursed out loud. "How many of these bastards does this wanker have?"

 

Buffy and I shifted our attention to the bleached menace beside us. He simply nodded in the direction of the woods behind the vampire leader. We followed his gaze and my eyes widened as twelve more vampires came out from under the trees. Every last one was obviously powered boosted

 

"Your sister told us to check on you," one of the new arrivals told the bulky leader.

 

"I know. She's always looking out for me," the leader said. "And it's a good thing too. The slayer and her companions are stronger than they look." He pointed to where Buffy, Spike and I were standing.

 

"They won't be a problem for us.” Another minion said. “They look weakened from fighting your men.” I couldn't help but agree with him. My ribs were cracked and the head injury I had sustained was worse than I’d initially thought. Judging from the pain, I probably had a concussion. If I’d been injured during our little skirmish, then I was sure both of my companions were also nursing their own set of injuries.

 

"So it seems." The leader turned to face our group yet again. "Fellow vampires, once again you are at a disadvantage. But because of what you showed me tonight, your skills in battle, I feel generous and have decided to spare both your lives in exchange for the pledge of your loyalty to me and for bringing me the head of your master, the Slayer."

 

From the corner of my eye I saw Buffy visibly tense as she cautiously took a step back from us. I felt hurt that she would even consider that I might take the offer, and anger boiled inside of me at the presumptuous bastard for making such an offer in the first place. Did he really think that I, or even Spike, would take him up on it? The asshole was stupider than he looked. Buffy wasn't my master as the idiot in front of me believed. She was my girlfriend and my charge that I was expected to protect. There was no way I would betray her for something so menial as my own pathetic life. She was worth so much more than Spike and I combined.

 

Not to mention that even without Buffy or the soul in the mix, there was no way I would pledge loyalty to another vampire. I was my own master. I was Angel, Master Vampire of the Order of Aurelius. I may have turned my back on my family, but the blood of The Master still ran through my veins and I would rather die than let an ambitious, moronic fledgling belittle me that way. I wanted to punish him for thinking that way and it didn't even matter to me how strong he and his small army currently were. I briefly shared a look with Spike, and saw that he felt the same way about the son of bitch. I gave him a nod before shifting my gaze to Buffy, who was still tense as she stared at our enemies.

 

"Buffy," I called, making her jump. She looked over at me with worried eyes. "You should go and see what the hell is keeping Willow and Xander from bringing Giles and your teacher here. Spike and I will keep these bastards busy until you get back to do that spell of yours."

 

Her eyes widened and she looked like she was about to argue but William stopped her.

 

"Best do what Peaches says, pet. Who knows, maybe your friends are in danger and is why they haven't showed their faces yet." Fear made her face pale and my heart bleed to see it. But I knew it was necessary. Buffy had to leave in order for me to do what I planned to do in order to beat these bastards. "I'm sure they're alright, luv," Spike tried to comfort her. "But it doesn't change the fact that they need your help. Go and find them, then bring whoever you need back here to do this spell you lot seem so keen on doing, while me and the poof will keep these wankers occupied."

 

She looked at us, creasing her brow as if she was trying to puzzle something out. I could see the moment she decided to act. Her body straightened and her chin rose and determination shone brightly in her eyes.

 

"She really was the Slayer," I couldn't help but thought as she nodded to us and sprinted in the direction her friends had gone. I let out a sigh of relief as I saw her disappear into the night.

 

"Well, now that she's gone, I hope you're gonna take these pillocks seriously, Angelus." Spike’s voice with a growl as his face shifted into its demon's visage.

 

"You're the one who doesn't take things seriously, Spike. But you are right about one thing." I vamped out. "Now that the girl's gone, I can stop holding back."

 

"Still don't understand why you hide who you are from her. She's the Slayer, it's not like can't handle a little bit of a monster in her man."

 

"She's a sweet, innocent child, Spike. She can't handle the kind of monster I am."

 

"Are you sure we're talking about the Slayer here?" He looked at me incredulously. "She's a warrior, Angel, not some fragile porcelain doll. She handles stuff like that on a nightly basis, finding out about the monster inside you isn't gonna break her."

 

"Oh, and you can say that 'cause you're such an expert on Buffy, huh?" I said sarcastically while rolling my eyes.

 

"No. I haven’t known the girl long enough to be an expert on her but I am an expert on Slayers I know exactly how their minds work."

 

"Buffy isn't just a Slayer," I snapped at him.

 

"Too right she isn't. But a majority of her life revolves on her Chosen One status, so it's obvious that her mind will most likely think like a Slayer."

 

"That's where you're wrong, Spike. Buffy isn't like any Slayer you've ever met. She's different, special, and a whole hell of a lot better than any Slayer that has ever been. It's because of that, her uniqueness, that the Powers sent me to protect her. She is destined for great things and I am dest-"

 

"Oh please spare me the details of your self-righteous destiny and self-imposed importance. We could end up arguing about it all night. We both know we won’t agree with each other no matter what. And right now I no longer give a bloody rat’s arse about your reasons for lying to the girl. All I care about is kicking these wankers' arses and getting home to Dru."

 

I stopped talking after that, because he made a good point. We rarely could agree on anything and I'm certain that wasn't about to start changing tonight. Also at the moment I was already tired of arguing with the bastard and didn't want to hear another one of his insightful explanations about my destiny.

 

"Are finished with your petty squabbles?” The leader sneered at us. “If so, then I guess you two are ready to die since you let your ticket out of here run off. You traitors will die like the dogs you are!”

 

“I'd like to see you try!” Spike yelled from beside me.

 

And then they charged, and the bloodbath began...

**(O.O)**

 


	14. Conclusion to the Night of Saint Vigeous

 

 

**Note: _Italics_ are Buffy's personal/Slayer thoughts.**

**(O.O)**

**Xander**

"We're all so going to die tonight."

 

At least that was what I thought when Vampire Rambo appeared from the forest along with his badly fashioned vampire minions. But when Buffy ordered Willow and I to go and fetch Giles and Ms. Calendar I felt a little tickle of hope,  because I knew that the spell they’d been preparing could instantly defeat the super strong vamps in front of us. Of course, as usual, fate had it out for us because once we left Buffy's side we got ambushed by another group of vampires. At least they weren't the super powered kind, but unfortunately they were still vampires all the same.

 

Man, where were these guys hiding when Buffy was still with us earlier?

 

Willow and I tried to fight for like two nano-seconds, but four vamps against the two of us without Buffy was just way too much. So we did the time honored thing and ran like hell. Not surprisingly with the way the night had been going it was in the opposite direction of where we needed to go. But the jerks wouldn't leave us be. I mean, jeez, you'd think we were the only food for their group tonight. Since we couldn’t shake them we decided to lead them to Giles and Ms. Calendar so they can perform the spell and kill these bozos. Anyway, we circled back running like the hounds of Lucifer were chasing us, straight towards the crypt where Giles and Ms. Calendar were, the vamps hot on our heels. We rushed inside just in time to see the two of them on the verge of kissing each other.

 

Talk about scarred for life. At least my parents had the decency to do that romantic crap inside the bedroom, well, they did back when they would stopped yelling at each other long enough to do it. Anyway, me and Willow chose to ignore what we were seeing and instead we hurriedly relayed to Giles what’d happened, where Buffy was, and that we were being followed. As if they’d heard us, the vamps broke through the crypt door and came rushing inside. All four vampires advanced on us with hungry eyes while Willow begged Giles to perform the spell.

 

What happened next was just too fast for my mind to keep up with. Later I remembered things as if they were sequences from a movie I’d been watching. The vampires attacked us and we fought back. Giles tried to defend Ms. Calendar, who was in the process of doing the spell, but he got knocked out unconscious. I tried to defend my fallen companion from the vampire who’d knocked him out by grabbing and waving around an old tire iron I’d found lying on the floor. At the same time, Ms. Calendar screamed as one of the vamps got a hold of her and was going for her jugular. I’d switched to trying to hit that vamp when all of a sudden a supernova blossomed inside the crypt and the vampires around us screamed as they met their doom.

 

When the light finally dimmed, the crypt had several new additions to its already dusty floor. Willow was standing at the corner and on her palm was the crystal thingy that was to be used as the focus for the sunlight spell Giles and Ms. Calendar were supposed to have done.

 

"Willow," Ms. Calendar gasped, "How--"

 

"I--I studied the spell before we left, an-and you were in trouble, a-and Mr. Giles was unconscious, I just thought I--I had to do something even though everyone said that the spell was dangerous and ha-had to be done by an expert, I j-just ha--had to do something or e--everyone wo--would have died." Willow was in tears as she stuttered through her explanation. I went to comfort my best friend, but Ms. Calendar beat me to it.

 

"Oh, sweetie, don't cry. You did okay. You saved everyone, Willow. You don't need to apologize for anything," she told her, taking my friend in to her arms.

 

"She's right, Wills, you were amazing with the spell casting and the light thing. You totally beat those vamps, sending all of them all straight to dustville central!" I said, joining the two.

 

Willow kept crying, but I knew it was because of everything we’d been through tonight rather than because she regretted doing the spell. What she did was amazing, and she shouldn't feel sorry for it. It even made me proud to call her my bestfriend. I was about to tell her this to comfort her but then the crypt door banged open and we all jumped into fighting positions. There was a collective sigh of relief when we saw it was only Buffy. She was sweating and breathing hard.

 

"Buffster!" I called happily. You couldn’t blame for being happy to see my friend, after all if she was here then it meant that she’d been able to defeat those ugly, super-powered vamps without the spell's help. I also considered it a plus that Angel wasn't there with her. Major happiness for the Xan-man. "So glad you could join us! We were just celebrating how Willow saved the day! And since you're here that must mean you guys defeated vamp Rambo and his cronies, and once again saving the world from possible super-powered vamp invasion!" I was nearly doing my happy dance.

 

Only the look on her Buffy’s wasn't the look of someone who’d just won a battle, it was that of a soldier heading off to war.

 

"Buffy? What's wrong?" Willow asked thickly, her voice muffled by sobs.

 

"Where's Giles?" she asked, ignoring Willow's concerned question. Scanning the room she quickly found her unconscious Watcher. Rushing to his side she shook him. "Giles, Giles, Giles! I need your help. You shouldn't sleep in a time like this!"

 

"Buffy, you shouldn't force Rupert to wake up that way." Ms. Calendar stopped her. "He's been hurt badly. We need to take him to the hospital immediately. I need to go too." My teacher was holding a blood soaked handkerchief tightly against her neck.

 

Buffy panicked. "There's no time to go to the hospital right now, we need to go back and help Angel!"

 

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her obviously unnecessary concern for the undead wonder. She wasn’t thinking straight because dead boy was in danger yet again and she believed we all needed to drop everything to go and save the jerk's butt. I was starting to think that the guy’s destiny wasn’t to help Buffy but to be constantly saved by her every time a crisis rolled around.

 

"I understand your concern, Buffster, but Angel can handle himself, plus he's got that Spike guy with him. I'm sure they'll be okay while we take Giles and Ms. Calendar to the hospital. They’re more important than a couple of vampires who’ve been taking care of themselves for a long time." I was trying to calm her down and help her focus, but my words had the opposite effect.

 

"Don't tell me they'll be okay, Xander! You didn't see the newly arrived vampires that came after we defeated the last bunch! If the first ones looked scary, despite their weird fashion sense, you'd pee your pants if you saw this new group! They were bigger, meaner and looked like they had the skills to back up their bad ass appearances! They were nothing like the vampires that came earlier. I had to leave Spike and Angel behind to fight them. If those two get killed, then there is no stopping those vampires from taking over Sunnydale and the surrounding towns. Before the effects of the ritual wear off they’ll have done more damage than any vampire in history! So what do you think is more important at the moment, Xander Harris?" She was in my face now and I couldn't help but be scared of her. Embarrassingly, I was also kind of turned on. Teenage hormones really do a number on a guy, but being frightened of her? I never wanted that to happen again.

 

"Okay, Buff. I get it! Sorry, and again I understand what you mean, but it doesn't change the fact that Giles and Ms. Calendar can't do the spell for you at the moment. If you force it, they could seriously get hurt. I know that when you have a chance to think about, you wouldn't want that."

 

Her eyes widened and it made me believe that I was finally getting through to her. Her gaze softened. “Sorry, Xander. I didn't mean to yell at you, and you are right, I usually wouldn't let any of you get hurt in the process of saving the world. I was just so caught up with my own fears that I didn't--"

 

"Hey, no worries, I totally understand what you're going through." I stopped her from saying anymore. Like I said, I totally got how she was feeling. Not that I approved of her Angel fueled hysteria, but I was her friend, so supporting her would always be top priority next to Angel-hating. "And again, Buffster, we want to help, but Giles and Ms. Calendar--"

 

"--Are hurt," she finished my sentence. She finally took the time to assess our companions and I could see the guilt in her eyes as she looked at everyone's injuries. "I guess there's nothing we can do to help Spike and Angel." I could hear her disappointment and resignation in her voice. It nearly broke my heart. I wished that there was something I could do to help ease my friend's pain.

 

"Actually there is," Willow's voice penetrated through my melancholic thoughts.

 

"What do you mean, Wills?" Buffy asked her.

 

"I mean there is a way to help them, Angel and Spike, I mean. The spell--"

 

"Is too dangerous!" Ms. Calendar cut her off. "It was sheer luck that you were able to perform it earlier. but to do it again? Alone, without supervision? I advise against it, Willow."

 

"Uh-what do you mean?" Buffy asked obviously not following on the conversation. So I gave her a short recap on the earlier events. "I see, so that strange light show was your work, huh, Wills?" My best friend nodded shyly. "Cool! That's great! So do you think you can do it again?" she asked.

 

Ms. Calendar glared at Buffy. "I think not! As I said, Buffy, this spell is highly sensitive and Willow doesn't possess the skills or the experience needed to perform the spell--"

 

"Yet she was able to anyway. Ms. Calendar, I understand your concern, really, but this is Willows decision. If she says she can then she'll do it, so she can help save a lot of people." Buffy said shutting up Ms. Calendar by emphasizing the 'saving a lot of people' part of the conversation. Then she turned to face Willow to wait for her answer to her previous question.

 

"Yeah," my friend answered, "Yeah, I think I can do it again, as long as I don't have to worry about getting eaten by vampires while doing the spell.”

 

"Good." was Buffy's only reply before turning again to face me. "Xander, I need you to take Giles and Ms. Calendar to the hospital and wait for us there. Willow and I will follow just as soon as we take care of that crazy vampire army. Do you understand?"

 

I didn't like the idea of getting left behind but I understood the need to accompany Giles and Ms. Calendar. They were weakened and would fall prey to any vamps around if I left them be. So I nodded my head and agreed to her orders.

 

"Thanks," she said before she left with Willow to kill of some evil undead villains.

**(O.O)**

**Buffy**

 

Willow and I hurriedly walked to where I’d left Spike and Angel. I wanted to take off running but I knew if I did that Willow wouldn't be able to keep up with me. This irrational fear gripped my heart as we approached the scene of the fight. I knew that I shouldn't be worried because Xander was right: Spike could take care of himself. Only I couldn’t help it. As I’d ran to get help and had left the two ensouled vampires to fend for themselves, it’d been Spike, not Angel, but Spike I’d been worried about. Fear for his life–well, unlife–had spurred me to run like to wind to the crypt where Giles and the others had been stationed.

 

When I got there I’d continued with the weirdness. I’d tried to wake a very injured Giles, ignored Ms. Calendar’s bleeding, and I’d yelled at Xander when he’d tried to be logical about everything. This wasn't like me at all but if Xander hadn’t said anything I wouldn’t have even realized that I was being bizarro-Buffy. Something really was wrong with me. I was afraid of whatever could be making me change so much without me even realizing it.

 

_I really needed to talk to, Giles, when all of this was over. But first I needed to focus on the problem at hand._

 

I paused and turned to Willow, who’d stopped beside me.

 

"Buffy? Is something wrong?"

 

"Will, do you have to chant when you do that spell?" I asked her.

 

"Uh, well, yeah. I have to invoked the Will of Apollo, the Greek Sun God, and ask for his Blessing. Then I need to whisper a few Greek words before I say the rest of the incantation," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

 

I ignored her question and pressed on with my own ones. "How long so you think will it take for you to finish casting the spell and how long will it take for the spell to start working? Can you cast it while walking?"

 

"Uh, maybe a minute? T-two minutes at most for me to finish the incantation. The spell takes effect immediately after I finish casting it. As for casting it while walking? I guess I can do that, though I need to be really concentrating in order to perform it. But I'm a good multitasker. I can do two things or more at the same time. So I'm sure it won't be a huge problem for me."

 

"Good." I nodded in approval before getting to the point. "Willow, I need you to do the spell while we walk towards that clearing," I pointed to where I left Spike an Angel earlier. I could distinctly hear the sounds of a fight coming from that direction. "I'm hoping once we get there you'd be done so you can immediately cast. If not, then at least you've already started and I'll join in the battle and help Spike and Angel. Can you do this, Will?"

 

She hesitated for a minute, which scared me into thinking that she wasn't as up for this as I had thought. But with a shake of her head Willow donned her infamous resolve face and all my worries evaporated.

 

"I'll do what you need me to do, Buffy." I smiled at my friend, who returned it before whirling to walk quickly towards the sounds of battle.

 

As we got closer I could clearly hear the pained screams of the vampires my companions were fighting. It gave me hope that they were both still alive. I could also hear Willow chanting some foreign language that was Greek to me, and may have actually been Greek. Anyway, it signified that she was already doing what I’d asked of her. When we arrived at the battle, I was terrified and surprised at what I saw. Out of the thirteen vampires that’d been there when I left earlier, only seven remained. Unfortunately, that number still included the now obviously injured vampire leader. Angel and Spike had practically leveled his army, and it was frightening to watch them going about it.

 

Both vampires were vamped out and were brutally fighting against the remnants of the army. Angel was using his fangs to tear into the flesh of an enemy’s limb, while Spike was using  his bare hands to rip off another’s head. Both of them were covered in blood and I had a suspicion that most of it were not their own.

 

What was worse was that my body was screaming at me to join them in their massacre. It wanted to do everything I was seeing and so much more.

 

_FIGHT! HURT! SLAY!_

 

I was craving the kill. The Slayer in me wanted out. It wanted to dust all of its vampire enemies then turn on those I called friend and see what they’d do when faced with a real opponent, their predator.

 

I was shaking, trying to hold back my instincts and what it was demanding that I should do. It was Willow's horrified gasp that brought me back to reality. She looked frightened and it allowed me to squash those urges and pack them away. I put my hand on her shoulder and wordlessly urged her to continue the spell. I still held my stake but I felt better now that I had full control of myself again. But it was around that same time, when I was feeling back to my normal self again, that something happened to force me into the fray.

 

Angel had suddenly shifted back into his human face and turned in my direction, locking gazes with me. I saw the terror on his face as he realized just what I had witnessed. He tried to call my name but was cut off as one of his enemies used his distraction as an opportunity to strike. The enemy vamp pulled out a long, thin knife that he’d been hiding somewhere in his persons and brought it down swiftly into Angel’s back. My boyfriend fell to his knees and screamed in pain.

 

"Angel!" I cried and hurriedly ran to his direction, forgetting all the horror and disgust I’d felt at what I’d seen.

 

When the vampire that had stabbed Angel produced a stake, I ran faster and hurriedly dusted another vamp who tried to intercept me. I saw the vampire raised his stake, readying to plunge it into my boyfriend's back. I knew that I wasn't gonna make it. I was too far away and Angel was still hunched over, not yet recovered from the pain of the knife wound, and was blind to the attack.

 

"Angel!" I called out, desperate and hopeful that he would at least try to notice and defend himself from the attack.

 

Then swoosh! Dust...

 

My eyes widened as the vampire the was about to kill Angel turned to ashes in front of me. Two stakes dropped from where he stood, one from his hand and the other was from his heart. Through the dust cloud I could see Spike a few yards away with his arm raised. He’d been the one to throw the stake. He gave me a slight nod and pointed to Angel, letting me know to take care of him. Spike returned to the offensive before I had time to nod back. I finished my approach and crouched down at Angel’s fallen form.

 

"Angel," I said, wincing as I inspected the blood seeping from his wounds.

 

"Buffy…I…I'm sorry. Earlier tha-" he tried to apologize but I cut him off. This wasn't the time or the place to talk about what I’d seen.

 

"Not now, Angel. You're hurt and we need to get you out of here," I told him in my no-funny-business voice.

 

Pulling him up I helped him wrap his arm around my shoulder. We were walking slowly away when I was kicked from behind and was sent sprawling on the ground, Angel landing mostly on top of me. Looking behind me I saw that it was the vampire leader who’d had attacked me. As gently as I could I moved Angel off me before climbing back to my feet to face the asshole who’d ruined my night.

 

"Well, well, well, it looks like the Slayer came back for her pets," he said. "And here I thought they were expendable nothings to the great Slayer who defeated The Master."

 

"Nah, these two are worth far more than all of your minions combined, even with you as the bonus prize in the bottom of the box of crackerjacks. I just left to get some extra help because I was expecting more from your group. Turns out I was wrong and all I needed were just these two to take care of you and your super-powered up selves. I'd call that pathetic but what else should I expect from a Rambo reject," I said with a smirk. I was happy that I’d been able to use Xander's nickname for this guy.

 

Wanna-be-Rambo looked angry and I couldn’t blame him, I did just insult him and his friends.

 

"Bitch!" he snarled as he ran to attack me.

 

I easily avoided him by side stepping and followed it with a spinning kick to the back.

 

"Just a little revenge for the earlier knockdown,” I told him.

 

He stumbled but immediately recovered and once again came at to me in a blind fury. He delivered several powerful punches that bruised the arm I was using to shield my face. I tried to counter, but my hits weren't affecting him like they had my previous opponents.

He was way tough. One of his punches connected with my sternum and my heart skipped a beat as I was thrown across the grass. This power boost really was doing a good job of making the guy unkillable.

 

He strode toward me while I was still swaying on my feet and cringing from the pain of his previous attack. He laughed at my injures.

 

"As I said earlier Slayer, only God can save you now!" he howled and launched himself to bite me in my neck.

 

But had stopped him before he could even get close to break my skin. I had my hands on his shoulders before grabbing hold of his shirt and throwing him to the side. He landed on one of the headstones and shakily got up on his feet. I placed my hands on my hips and looked at the vampire with a victorious grin. "And as my blonde vampire companion said earlier: God's not the only one capable of making miracles! Willow!" I called out to my friend as the last part of her chant got louder and echoed through the cemetery.

 

"God of the Sun, I beseech thee! _Plein Luminosus_!"

 

At her final words the crystal she was carrying started to glow. The light quickly blossomed into miniature sun that blasted through the cemetery, hitting everyone in the area. It took a while for the light to fade and for me to readjust to the darkness of the night. Once I could see again I quickly surveyed my surroundings. The spell had been a great success. All the vampires were dusted. Every single one of--

 

My eyes widened and my stomach flip flopped in morbid realization!

 

_Spike! Angel!_

 

I had forgotten to warn them about the spell. They had dusted along with the others. It was an inglorious end when all they’d done was fight by my side.

 

"Buffy!" I heard Willow calling me excitedly. "We did it! We defeated those ugly vampires. We save the world aga…Buffy? What's wrong?" She came to a stop in front of me and I could barely see her worried expression.

 

_Huh, I hadn’t even noticed that I was crying._

 

"Buffy, are you hurt? What's wrong? Please tell me: how can I help?" There was panic in her voice, but I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

 

"Will…Angel and Sp…pike," was all I can get out through my sobs.

 

I saw the realization dawn on my friend's features. "Oh, Buffy. I'm so sorry," she said as tears gathered in her eyes as well.

 

I cried harder as she gathered me into a hug. I was feeling guilt, grief and regret all at the same time. My insides were burning with it all. The guilt from forgetting that Angel and Spike were just as vulnerable to sunlight as the other vampires was going to eat me alive. They’d both just seemed like so much more. I’d lost my boyfriend and while I’d barely met Spike he’d already made a such deep impression on me and I felt his loss just as acutely as Angel’s. The regret from not finding out what the future would be like with them in it was more that I could bare.

 

My mind blanked as pain swamped it. I clutched at Willow so I wouldn’t fall apart. 

 

"I've heard about tears of joy, but this is just ridiculous. You two ladies look like someone just ran over your puppy," a very familiar British accent remarked from behind us.

 

Willow and I scrambled around to see who it was.

 

 My mouth hung open at seeing the familiar bleached haired vampire. He was injured and as missing his black leather coat but otherwise looked unharmed by the spell.

 

"Spike!" Willow and I hollered. We threw ourselves at him, hugging him fiercely.

 

"Ugh! Easy on the goods there, ladies. 'M a bit sore from the fight and the spell," he said as he gently urged us to let go.

 

Willow immediately released him but I was a bit more reluctant. I stepped back but kept my hand lightly holding onto the fabric of his red shirt.

 

_He's real, he's alive._

Distantly, I remembered there was another vampire that I should be concerned about.

 

"What about Angel?" I asked, hopeful that he was alive too.

 

"He's over there, pet, underneath my coat." Spike pointing at a large lump of fabric a few feet away from us, right beside a headstone.

 

_So that's why I hadn’t seen them._

 

We approached the lump and I slowly raised the leather that protected him to assess the damage to his body. It was bad. He was still bleeding profusely the knife wound and was now burned anywhere that hadn’t been completely covered when the spell had gone off. He was unconscious, possibly from pain. But no matter how bad he looked, I couldn't help but be happy that he was still alive.

 

"Bastard would've died had I not thought of covering him with my coat. Seriously, you lot made a sunlight spell but somehow failed to inform the members of your team that would find it deadly? That’s a hell of an oversite," Spike scolded us. "Had I not been here, Angelus would've been nothing but dust in the wind. The wanker required more saving tonight than any damsel in distress I’ve ever had the pleasure of rescuing. God, Great Grandmum really owes me a lot for tonight," he ranted as he pulled his coat from Angel's still form.

 

As I further inspected Angel and listened to Spike’s rather valid complaints, I found that I had a few questions of my own.

 

"How are you still alive?" Willow asked, right as I was about to say the same thing.

 

I looked up at Spike, who was taking out a cigarette from his coat pocket, and waited for him to answer. He adjusted his shirt's left sleeve and revealed a tattoo of a stylized sun with a star in its center. “This is an archaic helio-protection symbol that was magically painted on us by a witch coven in Transylvania after we rescued them from Dracula. The symbol temporarily protects us from the sun's harmful rays."

 

"You can walk under the Sun?" I asked, stunned.

 

"Dracula's real?" Willow said at the same time.

 

Spike chuckled. "Not for long periods but, yeah, we can get by the sun's dangerous rays if we have to," he answered me first, before turning to Willow. "And yes, Dracula is real. He's the idiot that babbled to the world about most of the weaknesses of  vampires. And the mirror bit? That was his work too! And to top off, the wanker still owes me eleven quid!"

 

_Well, that's just weird._

 

Angel's pain groan reminded us that there were more important matters at the moment than Dracula not being a myth.

 

"Angel…" I whispered, but he remained still. If it wasn’t for the way his face was grimacing in pain, I would've thought he was still completely unconscious. I turned to my companions. "Can you guys help me carry him back to his apartment? There's blood there and some medical supplies there that’d be a big help."

 

Spike sighed before he handed his coat to Willow. He kneeled down and helped me pick up Angel. With the two of us carrying him, one of his arms strung over each of our shoulders, it was easy enough to move him. We started walking towards Angel’s apartment, with Willow following closely behind.

 

This wasn't how I expected this night to end but I was happy all the same. We’d defeated the crazy strong vamps, no one was killed, and once again a lot of people had been saved. All in the day’s work for a Slayer and her friends. I was pleased, and I wasn't going to ruin my good mood by thinking about how strange things had gotten recently for me, feelings wise. I was saving that for tomorrow, when I’d have a chance to talk to Giles about it. If he was doing better.

 

I glanced over at Spike.

 

 _Tomorrow_. I promised myself.

 

**(O.O)**

**Interlude**

In an abandoned church on the outskirts of Sunnydale, a small group of vampires had nested. Their leader was livid from the reports her minions had delivered to her about what had happened to her beloved brother that night at the hands of the Slayer.

 

She screamed in frustration, throwing a table towards her cowering minions. "Are you telling me, that despite all the vampires I had ordered to accompany my brother, this Slayer was still able to defeat and kill him?!"

 

The minions shivered in fear, but answered nonetheless: "Yes, mistress."

 

She screamed again and hurled another piece of furniture across the nave of the dilapidated church. The rampage continued until there was no more furniture to destroy. Then she fell on her knees and began to sob: "Lucius, Lucius, my darling brother, I swear to you, she will pay. I swear with every fiber of my being she will pay!"

 

The vampire growled as her demon burst forth. Throwing her head back she roared her fury the night sky.

 

**(O.O)**

 

 


	15. A Witch's Perspective

 

**(O.O)**

**Willow**

One of cool things about being best friends with the Slayer was that life never got boring. I mean sure, my life was in constant danger, but that's normal for anyone who lived here in Sunnydale. At least with Buffy I had a chance to actually decide when I got to die. Not that I want to, but what I mean was that as a friend of the Slayer I had a fighting chance to survive. It was more than those who lived in complete ignorance to the town's darker side got.

 

Hanging out with Buffy has been the best-est time of my life, second only to the time Xander temporarily became my boyfriend when we were kids. Before her, I'd only been _smarty-pants/loser-nerd_ Willow, but now I was _techno-efficient/witch-in-training_ Willow. Yes, that's right! I'm officially a witch-in-training, or so said Mr. Giles, Ms. Calendar and Spike. He's the other vampire with a soul that my best friend obviously has the hots for, only she just won’t admit it. They were the ones who told me that I needed a teacher to properly use my full potential as a witch, a discussion that’d happened after the meeting with Angel's family.

 

The meeting happened two nights after the muck up that’d been Saint Vigeous. It took place because, after Mr. Giles got discharged from the hospital and we had finished giving him the detailed accounts on what happened the night before, he had wanted to question the rest of the Scourge of Europe. He immediately requested an interview with the other ensoulled vampires by asking Buffy to tell a still injured Angel to contact his family and invite them to a meeting that upcoming Monday.

 

On the evening of the meeting at the Library, everyone was there, including Angel who was limping from his injuries. We all waited anxiously for the other vampires to show up. All of us were a bit wary of the new comers in town, because even though they’d helped us a few times, we still weren't sure about their motives or how they though. Plus, Angel wasn't very forthcoming when asked about his family. All he seems to say was that they were here because they needed his help. Coming from him that meant that we shouldn't really get involved with them. However, Mr. Giles begged to differ. He said that it was important to get to know the kind of ‘people’ the members Angel's family were, that way we could tell if they could be trusted to not do anything of the evil variety while they were here in town. Of course, I had a feeling that Giles’ real reason for calling the meeting was so he could have a look-see at the three formally infamous and now reformed vampires.

 

Upon their arrival the differences between our resident ensoulled vampire and the other three were immediately apparent. From how they entered the library to how they carried themselves throughout the meeting, and even the way they talked, were all so different from Angel that it made him look like a complete bore by comparison.

 

While Angel liked to suddenly appear out of the shadows to surprise us, his family was all about the big dramatic entrance. They threw the Library doors wide open and confidently strode inside like they’d always belonged there. There was a dangerous air surrounding all four vampires in the room, but for each one there was a completely different edge to it.

 

For Angel, he was always this big looming, intimidating and mysterious guy. But one would know he had fangs even when they couldn’t see them because of the way he gave everyone that hungry _I-will-suck-your-blood_ stare, which is why my internal danger meter, that I’d been honing since I met Buffy, had always been on high alert whenever he was around. The rest of his family wasn't like that at all.

 

Darla has this _bitch-from-hell_ thing going on. She walked like a runway model and acted like a Cordelia from the moment she entered the room. She dominated the conversation with ease and intimidated or insulted anyone who tried to steer the discussion away from how she wanted it to go. She answered Giles' questions rapidly, without any hesitation or lies, and always got straight to the point with her answers. Every time her children, as she referred to Drusilla and Spike, came up as part of the question her words took on a threatening undertone. She reminded me of a cheetah mother I’d seen on a TV documentary: fast, beautiful, dangerous, and fiercely overprotective of her cubs. She may have looked harmless at times, but you always knew she was a predator.

 

Drusilla presented a very different kind of danger. Her childlike innocence and ethereal beauty had startled and confused all of us from the moment she entered the Library. But it had been what she did that showed us just how frightening she could be.

 

She entered the Library, arm-in-arm with Spike, staring with awe at everyone in the room. "There are so many people. I love people, especially the nice ones," she had said with such  honesty and happiness while examining at our group that we had no idea how to react to her next words: "Hello! I hope we'll all be friends."

 

Luckily for us, we didn't have time to say anything back because she had suddenly left Spike's side and began swaying and dancing to a tune that only she seemed to hear. We had all been so mesmerized by her elegant movements and unnatural grace that it had been a surprise to us when she had suddenly stopped dancing and turned to glare at me. I had frozen in place as her dark brown eyes shifted to gold and she slowly approached me. From the corner of my eye I saw my friends move to protect me.  Drusilla spoke in a creepy and croaking voice that terrified me: _"Naughty, naughty little red witch, with dark eyes and ebony hair. Crack, crack, crack she goes. Peeling skin from bones. All things come and all things end. Doors that're closed be opened again. Wishes her Will Be Bent…"_ As if a spell had suddenly been broken, Drusilla swayed and fell backwards into Spike's waiting arms.

 

Unintentionally she’d revealed to us her 'Gift of Sight', her ability to see the future. And though I had no idea what she had meant when she told my future, I couldn't shake the feeling of dread that it was something of the bad variety. Mr. Giles felt the same way, though not about her forecast of my future, but about her ability all together. He had felt that it was a much too powerful skill for a vampire to have. Of course the way he said it put Spike and Darla on guard. Fortunately, Buffy was able to calm them. She reassured them that neither her or Giles would hurt any of them for any reason, unless they reverted to doing evil. 

 

As long as they didn’t use Dru's abilities for a malicious purpose, they could rest at ease. Buffy’s words seemed to relax the group. Drusilla spoke up helpfully as well: "The Sunshine speaks the truth. She will not harm us so as long as we remain good dogs. Treats and cookies await us while we are here." She stood up from Spike's hold and started pacing around the room.

 

Darla had chosen right then to go on with the meeting and asked everyone to ignore Drusilla.

 

As the conference took place, I shifted my attention to the last souled vampire in the room that I hadn't yet had the time to study. Spike. For me, he was an enigma compared to the others. For some reason I didn’t get any real feel of evil off of him, nor any of the kind of badness that I usually registered when it came to vampires. It was weird because I’d seen how violent and vicious he could be when he’d fought those super-vamps. That night alone should've been enough to scare me and make me as wary of him as I was of Angel, but it hadn’t.

 

Even though the memories of his part in bloody and gory battle from Saturday were still fresh in my mind, they were contradicted by the person I saw in front of me at the Library. The Spike that’d come to the meeting wasn't anything like the Spike that’d fought like a beast. This Spike was kind, gentle, and genuinely cared about how to do good things. He was unlike Angel, whose good deeds always seemed forced unless they involved Buffy. Spike also had such loving and caring eyes whenever he looked at Dru. He appeared harmless and could obviously pass easily as a real human. Only he’d never be mistaken for ordinary, not with his air of confidence and strength of character. That coupled with his vampire abilities and sense of righteousness made him one hell of a hero, just like Buffy. I couldn’t help thinking they were two peas in pod. A very badass champion-type pod.

 

Another thing I’d noticed about the blond vampire was his shrewd sense of humor and quick wit that was so visible as he added his fair share of ideas and opinions into the mix. Yet, unlike Darla and Angel, he was respectful in his sharing. While he could be a bit snarky and sarcastic with his examples, he didn't turn down anyone’s opinions and was always open to hearing what the rest of us had to say. Even Xander got a chance to share his ideas as we discussed the new slaying arrangements. Spike treated us as adults and actual members of the team, instead of just the backup, which was refreshing because Xander and I were so used to being treated as the kids of the group. He mediated the animosity between Darla and Giles, while at the same time pulling Angel a peg down or two each time the taller vamp would say something mean or insensitive towards me and Xander. Spike made us feel like valuable members of the Scoobies and because of that, he so went to the top of my favorite soulled vampires list.

 

I'd say more about the meeting, but it had to be cut short when Drusilla had a seizure. I saw the panic in both Darla and Spike's eyes as they hurried to help the brunette vampire.

 

"Dru, sweety, hang in there," Darla had whispered in an uncharacteristically soft and gentle voice as she held the spasming woman close to her.

 

"Drusilla…" was all that Spike said, worry and fear was evident in his voice.

 

The scene that had played out in front of us was enough to convince us of the vampiress' illness and the genuine concern the other two had for her. It was more than enough proof for us to allow them to stay here in Sunnydale. It was also enough for us to decide to help them with their search for a cure.

 

"Grandmummy, Spike, I'm cold..." Drusilla said, her voice tired and weak. She was visibly shivering.

 

Spike removed his coat and gave it to the vampiress. "This is why I told you not to come with us tonight, pet. Your body isn't strong enough for this type of thing."

 

"But I had to. I had to see the Sunshine, and see what kind of person she is. I wanted to see if she was worthy, worth of my Dark Knight,” she said, caressing Spike's cheek, before passing out.

 

I knew that what she said was something important. However, everyone in the room had started to freak out because of what had happened to her and we were all talking rapidly and loudly over each other. It wasn’t until Darla yelled at all of us to calm down that we managed to lower our voices. She went all bitch-mode and told everyone that the meeting was over, that all we’d discussed would immediately take effect, and that we weren’t to argue. Without a backward glance she picked up Dru's unconscious form and left the Library. Spike stayed for a few more minutes to apologize to us for his family. He also spoke with Giles and Ms. Calendar about the Night of Saint Vigeous and my involvement in dispatching those vampires. He complimented my skills and called it a talent, before finally suggesting to the Watcher and my Computer Teacher the importance of properly developing my skills as a witch. I had been surprised at the idea and so were Mr. Giles and Ms. Calendar. Luckily, the two of them had agreed with him and now here I was, a real witch-in-training!

 

I was a new and improve Willow, who didn’t only have to study her science and algebra lessons, but also her witchy skills, like how to levitate objects. Ms. Calendar said that levitation was all about concentration. It’d been easy for me, at least until Xander and Buffy walked into the Library along with a gorgeous female foreign exchange student that Xander was making goo-goo eyes at.

 

Disappointment rolled over me as I watched Xander, who was my best friend and secret crush, openly flirt with the girl. What was worse was that the girl, Ampata, seemed to be returning his interest.

 

Witchy powers may be cool, but loving a guy who didn't love you back was just awful. Maybe I should follow Buffy’s advice to move on from Xander and actually get a guy of my own. If such a guy even existed, someone who’d actually find little old me interesting. I sighed. It seemed that Magic Practice would just have to wait until I could stop feeling jealous of Ampata and sad that Xander had once again overlooked me.

 

**(O.O)**

 

 

 


	16. Guy Bonding

 

**Note: _Italics_ are Buffy's personal/Slayer thoughts.**

 

**(O.O)**

**Xander**

I know it's stupid but I've been avoiding my friends ever since I chatted with Buffy at lunch today. It wasn't an easy thing to do, since our school's not really that big, but I'm proud of myself since I was still able to accomplish it despite the obstacles.

 

I was being avoid-o guy because I needed some time alone to properly get over the pain of last night's incident with my girlfriend Ampata, who turned out to be some Incan mummy. I know I shouldn't still feel down about what happened because one: I could've died had Ampata had her way with me, and two: Buffy gave me a good talking to at lunch today that had successfully boosted my ego a bit. But those two reasons didn't change the fact that again the only woman that I seemed to be able to attract turned out to be monster. The worse part of it was that even though she was a demon, I still really liked her. She was just perfect for me. She saw me for who I was and was okay with the kind of guy that I am, so losing her really hurt.

 

Of course, I couldn't tell my friends about it because they wouldn't have understood. They'd probably think that it was just my overly active teenage hormones speaking and that the only reason that I was actually sad was because I didn't get a chance to knock boots with her.

 

Well, their reasoning's kinda understandable and has a bit of truth to it, because I really did want to sleep with Ampata. But that wasn't the only reason I wanted to be around her. I liked that she laughed at my jokes and looked up to me for advice. I liked how she was okay with how I always stuffed food in my mouth every chance I could get and didn't get disgusted by the way I eat or what I ate. And most of all, I liked that she thought of me as her protector because I never get to be that guy for anyone, especially with the kinds of women in my life; namely Slayer-Buffy and Super Genius/Witch-in-training-Willow. Ampata made me feel like a man and I loved it. But now that she's gone--well such feelings went along with her. It's painful.  I’m feeling lost and empty and there's no one I can talk to about it because most of my friends are girls and they just wouldn't understand.

 

And that explained why I was here, walking away from school by my lonesome towards KayZee's Funhauz, the town's only arcade gaming station, at four in the afternoon instead of hanging out at the library where I knew everyone would be. It was the place where Jesse and I used to go to when we felt that life was getting too much for either of us. We used to stay here all afternoon, playing different games, using up all our money, and having fun! It made us forget about the bad things that were happening at home or school and helped us feel better about failing a test or getting rejected by girl. It was our special place, our secret hang-out that was not so secret. It was just for us.

 

I paused just outside of the establishment and wiped the tear that was threatening to fall from my eye. I really missed my friend. He was the only best guy-friend I’d ever had and he understood me in a way that Willow and Buffy never could. It was moments like these that I felt his loss even more. My friends think that I'm over his death and I knew I should be, considering that a year or more has passed since he died, but there were still times like this one where he not being here just felt harder than usual. More tears threatened to fall, but I shook them off.

 

"What am I doing? I'm here to have fun and stop being sad! I shouldn't be standing out here like an idiot, crying." I wiped the tears again before putting on my version of a resolve face and entering the establishment.

 

I got inside and noticed that the place was more crowded than usual. But I simply shrugged it off and went straight to the counter where Kay, the arcade's owner, sat waiting for kids to exchange their money with tokens.

 

"Hey, K-man! What's up?"

 

"Xandy-boy, long time no see kid!" the big African American called out, standing up and moving around the counter to give me a hug. Jesse and I had been good friends with the guy.

 

"Man, you are getting tall!" he said, putting his hand on my head and comparing my height to his.

 

"Well, I am a growing boy!"

 

"Yeah, just make sure you don't grow too much, otherwise you might end up as big as your old friend Kay here!" He bellowed as he patted his substantial belly.

 

"Don't even joke about that, man." I gave him a stern glare.

 

He laughed even louder before slapping my back and asking me what I was doing there.

 

"Oh, you know, the usual, school getting too much for me and I didn't want to go home to see mom and dad fight." I tried to sound nonchalant.

 

"In other words, you got dumped by a girl." Dang, I knew he would see right through me, he knows me as well as Jesse did.

 

"Ye-ah. She didn't really dump me exactly, more like she had to go because she was going to kill me if she didn't," I told him.

 

"I see," was all he said but I knew he hadn’t really understood what I had just told him or was even imaging anything in the same ballpark as what really happened between me and Ampata. "Well, since your all heartbroken, here you go." He handed me at a pouch bag with least thirty tokens inside. "This one's on the house kid."

 

"Wow! Thanks, Kay!" I told him, accepting the pouch.

 

"Don't mention it, kid. Just enjoy yourself and forget all the bad crap life gives you, I know that's what your friend, Jesse, would've wanted."

 

I gave Kay a grateful smile. He, aside from Jesse, always knew how to cheer me up when it came to these things. He may not understand most of what's going on in my life, but he tries to make it better in his own little way, which is better than a certain drunkard dad of mine back at home.

 

I left the counter and took a tour around the place, searching for whatever game would strike my fancy. I usually stick to combat games but they weren’t so much fun when you were alone and had no one but the computer to fight with. So instead I went to shop's the shooter game section to see if I could find something interesting to play. In the far corner I came across the shop's newest shooter game: Maximum Force. I perked up when I saw it from afar because I recognized the game after reading about it from a magazine awhile back and I'd always wanted to give it a try. I was happy and surprised that KayZee had it here. I hurriedly ran over to see if the game was free, only to find it surprisingly occupied.

 

Well, I wasn't really surprised that the game was being used because it’s a new game, but I was more shocked at who I found playing it.

 

"Spike?" I cried making the soulled vampire turn from the game to look at me. "What the heck are you doing here?" I asked him.

 

He shrugged before turning back to the game to shoot his terrorist enemies. "What does it look like I am doing, whelp? I'm obviously playing here," he answered me while he continued to his take out his opponents.

 

"Yeah, I can see that. But what I want to know is why?" I asked because it just didn't make sense. I mean, aren't vampires supposed to be asleep at this time of day? And even if they were awake because of weird undead insominia, what the hell was he doing in an arcade of all places?

 

"Needed to get away from Darla. She's been ten times bitchier than usual ever since Dru had her episode in that library of yours. Darla’s been working all of us nonstop to find the cure for Dru," he said, doing a quick active reload and getting critical hits on the three terrorists who’d just flanked his character.

 

"Okay, I guess that explains why he left his family's side. But why the hell did he come to an arcade to hide from them?"  While I was occupied with my inner monologue, I nearly failed to notice that Spike had been watching me from the corner of his eye.

 

"This is the only place, at this hour anyway, that's available in this sad excuse of a town that both looked like fun and that I was certain that Darla would rather be found dead than enter," he told me, reading my mind and answering my question. He continued playing until one of his opponents got a good shot at his character and the screen showed the Game Over sign in front of him. "Bollocks!" he cursed, before checking out his pockets for something.

 

I was still standing beside the machine and openly gawking at him like an idiot and still too stunned that I was seeing him in an arcade. My arcade, to be exact.

 

"Close that mouth of yours, boy, before you end up eating a bug or something," he told me, making me snap it shut for a moment before I continued with my inquiries.

 

"So…you just decided to come here to the arcade to hide? But why are you playing?" It was a stupid question, but I wanted to know.

 

"Because it's fun! Why else would anyone play video games?" He said, rolling his eyes at me and finally stopping the search through his pockets to turn around and face me. "Now, are you all done playing twenty questions? Or do you plan to just stand there and interview with me like that bloody Watcher? If so, then you can give me four tokens per question and ask them to me while I play." He stretched out his hand in front of me and raised an eyebrow.

 

I gave him an incredulous look before shaking my head at all the weirdness that was happening to me at the moment. I then look back at him with a forced serious expression.

 

"No way, man, I'd rather use my tokens to have fun instead of helping Giles get boring and unnecessary information out of you guys," I told him, while walking to the game and taking his place. I took out the gun controller he had been using earlier, inserted two tokens and started playing the game myself. I tried to ignore the weird vampire beside me and work through the tutorial stage of the game.

 

He smirked at me. "Well, good for you then, whelp," he stated before leaving me alone with the game.

 

I was surprised at first and a bit disappointed that he just left just like that, but I shook off the feeling and continued playing. I was in the game's first level, which was a naval ship being stormed by a bunch of terrorists. _Under Siege_ much? I was shooting one enemy at a time and had become so absorbed in the game that I didn't notice that someone else had joined as player two and entered the game until they had killed my enemies for me. I turned my head and saw that it was Spike. He was using the gun with his left hand like he had did earlier and shot bad guys in the game. I wanted to ask what he was doing but then a helicopter started blasting at us with a machine gun. There was a temporary truce while we took the annoying thing down. We continued playing while standing side by side and silently killing off the terrorists and rescuing scientists together, until we had finished the first stage of the game by commandeering our own helicopter. When the cut-scene started, I turned to the platinum blond vampire to ask what he was doing.

 

"You really are a thick one, aren't you? I said I wanted to have fun and this place was the only one I could find around town that I could go to without Darla finding out." He sounded irritated.

 

I cringed and took a step back. "Geez, sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything, I was only curious about why you’re sharing a game with me, that's all. I mean, when you left I thought it was for good."

 

"I only went to the counter to exchange my cash with tokens, so I could continue playing. And as for coming back here, don't flatter yourself, boy. I came back here because out of all the games in this beat up shop this one had most appeal."

 

"Oh." I shrugged before turning back to the game and starting on the next level.

 

I had no idea how long we were there, just playing, yelling at the screen when an enemy got a good shot at us, planning game strategies so we wouldn't lose and inserting tokens when we would. If I hadn’t been so involved in the game and enjoying myself I would've found the entire encounter creepy and weird, because, hello, vampire beside me here! But at that moment we were simply having fun and Spike was just a regular guy doing something fun with another regular guy, not a scary monster.

 

When we finally lost and were out of tokens, Spike turned to me, grinning. "Well, that was fun! Too bad we didn't get a chance to win the entire game though, huh?" I returned his self-satisfied smile. "Hey,” he continued. “I'm feeling a might peckish. Want to grab a bite with me before you head back to those friends of yours?"

 

My eyes widened at what he just said and what he was implying. I took a step back from him and cautiously tried to decline without indicating that I knew that he was planning to eat me.

 

"Uh-no, thanks! I kinda just remembered that Buffy wanted to meet up with me at her place tonight before she'd go to patrol…and it's getting late and I need to be there right now…" I slowly started backing up and moved, as subtle as I could, away from him.

 

"Oh, that's too bad. Was supposed to be my treat. I heard there’s a place around the corner that serves good pizza," he said, rubbing his chin with one hand.

 

"Pizza? Did you say you were gonna treat me to pizza?"

 

"Well, yeah. Just said so, didn't I? But if you're not free I'm sure I can finish a whole box on my own." He shrugged one shoulder and started moving towards the exit.

 

It would've been the perfect opportunity for me to escape, but my stupid feet followed my stomach's logic all on their own and before I knew it, I was running after the vampire who’d promised to give me free food.

 

Two and a half hours later, we were at Pezzaro's Pizza Palace, finishing the last of the four boxes Spike had ordered for us earlier. It had been surprising for me too when he ordered that much when there were only two of us, but he had been so certain we'd be able to finish them. Of course the moment I took that first bite of Fatty Uncle, which is the name of the pizza we ordered, I was hooked! The pizza had pepperoni, four kinds of cheeses, Anduja, which is a very spicy hot kind of sausage, and bacon! It was a pizza for the Gods! Or just guys like Spike and I! Anyway, after that first bite, I couldn't stop and I just had to have some more. It wasn't until we reached the last box that I realized just how much I’d eaten.

 

At least, Spike didn't seem to mind and he didn’t make fun of me for being such a pig. In fact, he ate just as much as I did, if not more, which was weird considering he's a vampire and Angel said that the undead didn't eat people food because it tasted like ashes in their mouths. But Spike still ate, despite his taste handicap, because he believed that it'd be unfair for him to live so long and save the world so many times only for him not to be able to enjoy the small pleasures the world had to offer him. And I just got to hand it to the guy, what he said made so much sense that it made me respect him even more. Despite being dead, he really did know how to live life and cherish everything there was in this world. He wasn't just fighting for good because he thought he might be rewarded in the end, like stupid Angel, he was fighting because he really liked the world and he really cared for the people living in it. He was just like Buffy that way, in a sense.

 

Like my friend, he’d become a champion for good under forced circumstances and yet he still did his jobs because he knew it was the right thing to do. The only difference between him and her is that Spike didn't really mind doing the job, while Buffy was always so focus on being ‘normal’, which, even though it didn't made sense to me because I always thought that normal was overrated, I tried to support by wanting it for her too.

 

As we were sitting at that table together and eating, the two of us talked. We talked, like a lot, about all kinds of different things. Things that I know I would never talk to Buffy, Willow and Giles about. Things that you could only talk to a guy about, and one that wasn't as old as Giles. Stupid and juvenile things as well as things that were too much of a serious topic to be talked about while eating pizzas. In those two and a half hours I learned a lot of stuff from Spike; from how to deal with women, to the different kinds of movies and comic books we'd mutually seen and read, and we even talked about embarrassing stuff about Angel that nearly made me wet my pants from laughter. We just sat there and talked and talked.

 

Aside from having a nice conversation with the guy, I also got to know just how cool he was. What was even more amazing about it was that he wasn't like those cool kids in school who always thought they were better than everyone else. Nope, Spike had his own level of coolness but never flaunted it to make him look like he was more important than anybody else in the room. I was really appreciating it, in a non-gay-guy sort of way. It just made me want to be his friend, which again should be weird for me because he was a vampire and I really do hate vampires, especially after what happened to my friend, Jesse. But for some reasons, I didn't see Spike as an undead blood sucker, not like how I saw Angel and the rest of his ensoulled family. Instead I saw him as a guy I wanted to hang out with and be friends with. I was feeling a little guilty about that, because I thought I might be dishonoring my friend's memory.

 

My emotions must've been visible on my face because Spike had suddenly asked me what was wrong. I saw no point in lying to him, so I told him the truth.

 

"I'm kinda angry at myself and feeling guilty for hanging out with you."

 

He gave me a weirded-out look. "Uh--why? I mean, it's not like you're doing anything wrong? You and I are just two guys that are hanging out and having fun…" His face turned slightly horrified. "Unless you're conscious about the two of us being together because you have someone that would be jealous of us being together. If so, then I suggest that you leave, mate, because one: I don't swing that way and two: I really don't want to be the reason you and your guy would have problems with each other."

 

It took me a moment to understand what he was babbling about and then it was my turn to look freaked.

 

"Woah! That is so n-not it!" I stammered. "I mean, that's not what I meant when I said that hanging out with you made me feel guilty, because I…like you…er, not like you, like you, but like just like you--argh! I am making an idiot out myself!" I looked above me and cursed at whatever god that was listening for making me sound this stupid.

 

I took a deep breath before facing Spike again, who had once again wearing his weirded-out look. "I’m not batting for the home team," I said in a calm and even voice. "What I meant to say was that I feel guilty about hanging out with a vampire, when it was a vampire who killed my bestfriend. And it was me who dusted my friend, because he was turned. Playing with you in that arcade? Eating with you in this pizza place? Talking? Hanging out? Having fun? I used to do that with my friend, and when he died, I stopped. I mean sure I do fun stuff with Will and Buffy but it’s not the same, I don't do these stuffs anymore. But then you came along, being all cool and having all that swagger, yet still being okay with hanging out with silly old me? I like it, but at the same time, I feel like I’m dishonoring my friend's memory."

 

"I'm sorry," was all he said, but for whatever reason I was comforted with the sentiment.

 

"Thanks, man."

 

A moment of silence followed before Spike started to speak again. "So, this best mate of yours, he have a name?" he asked.

 

I didn't know where he was going with this but I answered all the same: "Jesse. His name was Jesse, Jesse McNally. He was Sunnydale High's most flirtatious guy. He'd flirt with any girl he'd met and tried to ask them out every chance he got. He was always in trouble for doing it, especially if the girl already had a boyfriend. But he never stopped, even though his pick-up lines were lame and usually stolen from old movies." I chuckled at the memory of my friend. "But he was good guy and a great friend. He always knew when I felt bad about life at school or home, and he always knew how to cheer me up. And even though he always complained to me about stealing his twinkies, I knew that he was only carrying them in his pack especially for me. He was always considerate that way." My eyes had begun to water as more memories of my friend sprung to my mind. "He liked Celine Dion, and not just because he found her hot, but because he really liked her songs. He used to sing them in the shower when he thought no one was listening. He had a terrible voice too! He made babies cry with that voice!" I chuckled, but it sounded like I was choking. "I miss him... I miss my friend so, so much. I can't even talk to my current friends about him because I know that I'd hurt both Buffy and Willow if I did. Buffy blames herself for Jesse's death and Willow…well, Willow, has just gotten over him. I'd be opening her wounds if I talked about him. So I'm alone, mourning my friend and always thinking what it would be like if Jesse was here at the moment, then I get all teary eyed again..." The tears came faster, but I kept the sobbing to a minimum, because I didn't want to attract people's attention. It was a good thing that Spike had decided that we'd sit in the darkest corner of the shop earlier, or what I was doing would have been totally visible to the whole restaurant.

 

After a few more minutes of crying my heart out, I took a few table napkins and began wiping away the tears and blew my nose before facing Spike again. I apologized for being a pathetic loser in front of him.

 

"I don't find anything pathetic about shedding a tear for a fallen comrade or a friend," he told me. "I'll even admit to you that I cried a lot when I witnessed the deaths of the Slayers I befriended as well as those humans who’d fought with me during a battle to stop an apocalypse or two. I'd like to think that we are honoring their memories by talking about them and shedding a few manly tears for them, and from what you told me, I think this Jesse friend of yours was an alright bloke, who always had your back. You shouldn't be ashamed about mourning him."

 

I got all teary eyed again as I stared at him and took in his words. "Thanks, Spike."

 

"I'm only telling it as I see it." He shrugged his shoulders and went back to eating the last piece of the pizza we’d ordered. I watched him and argued with myself about whether or not I should ask Spike the question that had been nagging me since Jesse's death.

 

I must've have been staring too long because he became irritated again. "Out with it already. What do you want to know?"

 

"Uh-well, I always wondered what it was like, you know. Being a vampire. Not that I want to be one, but I just wanted to know why my friend, Jesse, was so different when he got turned. Giles and Buffy said that he wasn't Jesse anymore. But I always wondered if whether they were telling the truth or just trying to, you know, console me for killing my friend." Spike stared into my eyes and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat at the intensity of his gaze. I looked away when I felt the discomfort was too much for me. "Uh--but you really don't have to answer me. I mean, I was just curious, you know? I just--" I tried to finish but he cut me off.

 

"You didn't kill your friend," he suddenly said making me look back at him. "In fact, you saved him by dusting him actually." I gave him a confused look, not understanding what he meant. So he began telling to me the truth about vampires that Giles' books never mentions. "Vampires aren't really just demons occupying the body of humans, as the Slayer and her Watcher told you. They are actually humans with demons inside of them."

 

I tilted my head to the side still confused. Thankfully he continued to explain: "Alright, here's the thing." He shifted in his seat and leaned closer towards me. "When a human gets killed and turned into a vampire, his soul leaves the body and the soul of a demon takes its place."

 

"Wait, demons have souls?" I asked because everything Spike was telling me now was new information that weren't written in any of Giles’ books that contained descriptions of vampires.

 

"Yes, you twit! Now, shut up and stop interrupting me." The glare he gave me made me swallow my questions and I gave him an apologetic look. He sighed, probably to cool his head, before continuing. "Anyway, the demon takes up shop, and although its demonic urges are what mostly governs the vampire, it doesn't really have complete control over the body, because if it did then vampires would simply be vicious animals incapable of any logical thoughts or ideas. That's the kind of demon vampires have, ones that are ruled by blood and instinct, anything else they get from their human side."

 

"Human side?" I slowly and hesitantly asked, because I was afraid he'd get angry again at the interruption.

 

"Yes, the human side of the vampire," he repeated. "Vampires are not full demons since the demonic part of them needs a human host in order to survive. They merge with a dead human body, giving the owner of the body life and allowing them, the demon, to live on this Earth at the same time. That's why I said earlier that vampires are humans with demons inside of them, because it means exactly that, they are the melding of two creatures, human and demon. This is also the reason why we, vampires, are usually considered inferior to demons because of the humanity we possess, and superior to humans because of the presence of our demons."

 

"Kinda like Spock, huh? Half Vulcan and half human, always criticized because he didn't belong to either race?" I nodded sagely before pausing upon realizing that I had interrupted him yet again.

 

I waited for him to snap at me like he did earlier, only to find him smiling at me, which really surprised me. He was nodding. "Yeah, kind of like him. Although I preferred if you kept the Star Trek references away from me because I stopped being a fan once Next Generation came out." He smirked at my shocked expression.

 

"You also know about Star Trek?!" I exclaimed, still amazed of the idea of a vampire as old as Spike knowing about TV references.

 

"Of course, I do! I didn't spend the century living under the sewers eating rats after all." I had to smile at his obvious Angel insult. "Besides it was also one of the best Sci-fi shows of all time. Loved Dr. McCoy best. He was a smart and funny bloke."

 

"I liked Capt. Kirk the most! Shatner played his role really well," I stated enthusiastically. Hey, I'm a Trekkie after all and it wasn't every day that I’d find someone who didn't cringed at my obvious Star Trek references.

 

"Yes, he did, which is why I didn't like Next Generation, because even though the show was great and all, the new casts just didn't appeal to me. I was just too much in love with the original Star Trek series and its characters." I simply nodded my head in understanding. "Anyway, going back to the original topic, you know now that the demon is the reason why the human lives again, but just because it doesn't have full control of the body it doesn't mean it cannot influence the person who owns the body. For instance, if the person who was turned into a vampire was once an A-grade git with a massive superiority complex when he was alive, he gets even worse when he's turned because of the demon's influence on him. If he was evil when he was alive he's worse in death because he doesn't have anything that could tell him the difference from right and wrong or remind him of the limits of what a human body can take. He just doesn't care anymore. Add to that the demon's influence on his actions, you have yourself an evil undead monster on your hands."

 

"But Jesse wasn't an A-grade uh…jerk, nor was he evil when he was alive. So how come he still did all those evil things and said all those mean words to me?" I asked with some edge in my voice. My friend had been a good guy and I was trying hard not to get angry at Spike for what he was implying, because I knew my friend had never been evil. Sure, he’d been a bit of an ass sometimes, but he’d never meant to hurt anyone by it and he usually directed his assi-ness at himself so he could make people smile.

 

"As I said, the demon influences their human hosts, by twisting what's already inside the human and guiding them to do all those acts of evil. You say that your friend was a good and kind person, and he was when he was only human, but under the demon's influence all that goodness and kindness inside of him was twisted. Whatever good memories you had with him were used against him by the demon, making him hate what he used to be or even hate all the people he used to love. The demon exploited every negative aspect of your friend and enhanced it, while it also pushed down all the good things about him. Your friend became twisted and hateful towards everyone, and the demon continued to inflame his hate and made him take action, thus all those evil things he said and did to you and everyone else."

 

I paused for a moment and took in everything Spike had said. It made sense, the things he’d told me just now. Jesse hadn’t completely been himself and so he’d said and did those things. The demon was to blame for the drastic change in my friend, so it meant that now I could really forgive Jesse for everything that’d happened. But it also meant that I was at fault because I really had killed my friend.

 

"Earlier, you said that I saved my friend, but now that I know that he really was my friend, only under the influence of a demon, I kinda fail to see how I did that. Now I know that I really did kill Jesse, so how I save him by making him dust?" I asked, getting all teary eyed again.

 

"Because you prevented your friend from doing further evil that you know he'd never want to do." What he said struck a chord inside of me. "You said your friend was a good man, and that he cared for you, do you really think that if he had been in the right mind, he would had allowed anything bad happen to you? Or have wanted to be the cause of pain towards you and your friends?"

 

"No," I whispered softly. "Jesse would never have wanted that. He'd rather die than hurt me or Willow. He had once been very vocal about that, too."

 

"Exactly. So that's why I said that you didn't kill your friend. You helped him escape a possible eternity of living an evil life that you know he'd never want. Dusting him was his only salvation, and you granted him that."

 

We didn't say anything to each other after that, we just went back to finishing the last of the breadsticks. I wasn't really in the mood to eat anymore, even though the food still tasted great. I was far too busy working the feelings I had inside me to think of munchies. It was during that moment that I realized that, for the first time since Jesse's death, I felt at ease. The burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Knowing that Jesse's death at my hands had actually saved my friend and protected his memory of who he was made me really happy. And I had Spike to thank for that.

 

I looked back up at the blond vampire to see him ask the waitress for our check. I smiled at him as I watched as he smiled at the pretty lady and flirted with her as she returned with our change. Then afterwards I followed him outside into the chilly October night.

 

"Next time, mate, don't stare at me with that creepy look and smile while I flirt at a woman for a discount on the nosh," he told me as we walked away from the restaurant.

 

"Huh?"

 

"I said: avoid making eyes at me like you did back at the restaurant while I was paying for our food. It gives women the wrong idea about me, and I really don't like it when men stare at me like I’m dessert.”

 

My cheeks reddened. Not this _again_. "I wasn't-- I mean that wasn't--" I stuttered, trying to come up with an excuse.

 

He waved his hand. "Nah, don’t worry, it's alright. I really don't mind getting stared at. I know I'm an attractive bloke, and you're a young man. Exploring your sexuality is only normal for a boy your age," he said with a smug grin.

 

"Exploring m-m-y sexuality? I-I'm not gay! And I didn't stare at you because I thought you were pretty!" I cried. "I mean, sure you're attractive, but that doesn't mean I want you! Well, actually I do-- I mean, I'd like to get to know you better, but not the gay kind of way, just in a friendly kind because I'm not gay!" I began to babble and I felt my face flamed hotter, especially since the things I was saying were only making things worse for me.

 

Spike put a hand on my shoulder and started laughed. He laughed so hard that he had to stop walking to lean over and clutch his stomach.

 

"God, Harris, you are so easy! You should've seen the look on your face! Red as a tomato!" he said in between chuckles. Oh. He’d been poking fun at me. I would've been angry at being the butt of his joke but it was just too funny. I found myself cracking-up, too.

 

The two of us stood there, laughing our asses off until it finally receded and only a few chuckles remained.

 

"Man, I haven't laughed that hard since Jesse!" I told him honestly. "Thanks, man. I needed that."

 

"Don't mention it, whelp. Besides, a good laughter is healthy for you."

 

"I couldn't agree with you more."

 

"Well, how about we finish this little fun encounter of ours by hunting together?" he suggested.

 

"Hunting?" I asked, not really certain about what he meant. After all, hunting for vampires for me equaled finding someone so they can suck their blood, but after everything tonight I figured that could possibly be what he meant.

 

"Hunting, or as your lot affectionately calls it: patrolling."

 

"Patrolling? You want me to go patrolling with you?" I asked surprised at being asked. It was really rare that I get to be asked to help patrol. Buffy brings Willow and I with her sometimes, but it's usually because we force her to take us. To be invited to go was a real privilege and it made me extremely happy and honored.

 

"Well yeah. Thought that since we are already hanging out and having fun, that we'd end the night with a good rough and tumble with some of the evil denizens of the town," he explained. "So, do you want to come?"

 

I smiled and got all excited before nodding my head in agreement. He then handed me a stake and we started walking towards the nearest cemetery.

 

When we arrived at St. Mary's Cemetery, Spike led us to a newly buried grave and halted. I asked him why we were waiting there.

 

"A fledge is about to wake up out of this grave soon," he said as he took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit it, and inhaled a deep lungful.

 

"Uh, how do you know about that? Did you read today's paper or something? Do vampires even read the morning paper? I mean, morning for you guys starts at night doesn’t it? So that means you probably missed the morning paper, so how do you know this guy, this Ricardo Sanchez, will be a vamp? But then--"

 

"You babble. Did you know that, whelp?" he interrupted; stopping me from talking further and making me blush again out of embarrassment.

 

"Ye-ahh, a friend might've told me that once or twice already," I said, trying to feign nonchalance but obviously failing.

 

He just chuckled, probably seeing through my act, but said nothing else about the matter and instead he answered my previous question.

 

"Anyway, to answer your questions: No, I didn't read today's paper. Yes, some vamps do read the news, I for one love to read the sports section for football, that’s soccer to you cretins, results and the entertainment section for the television shows schedules. And finally, I know there's a vampire in this grave because I can feel him," he said, taking a drag off his cigarette.

 

"Feel him?"

 

"Demons have a natural ability to sense other demons, some are naturally more attuned than others, but it can be honed through practice. Darla, Dru and I have the ability, although mine isn’t as good as the other two, who can easily tell the number and kinds of demon there are and how strong each one is. I never had the patience to improve it, but I am skilled enough to tell when demons are nearby, and now I’m sensing a vampire underneath that soil."

 

"Wow, so you guys have something like spidy-senses, huh?"

 

"Well, I never saw it as that before, but yeah, I guess you can say so. Although, our abilities to sense demons are only a fraction of the Slayer's talent for it," he stated, surprising me.

 

"Buffy has this skill, too?"

 

"Well, yeah. All Slayers do. At least Xin Rong and Nikki Wood did, and let me tell you those two could sense a demon on the other side of a city. You could just give them a map and they could pinpoint all vampire nests around the area. It was really neat to see them do that." He had a nostalgic look on his face.

 

"Wow! That's a really handy skill. I wonder why Buffy doesn't have it?" I asked, but mostly to myself.

 

"Maybe she hasn't learned it yet. Nikki said that her Watcher was the one who taught her to harness the skill."

 

"Oh," was my only reply before once again silence surrounded the two of us.

 

After a few more minutes of waiting, I opened my mouth yet again: "Hey, Spike?" He grunted. "Can I ask you a question?"

 

"You're already asking me, whelp," he said with a teasing grin.

 

"Ha, ha, you're a comedian. Anyway, can I ask you a question or not?"

 

He shrugged his shoulders. "Fire away, boy."

 

"What is a soul? And what exactly does it do for you vampires?"

 

He then looked at me with a serious expression. "Why do you want to know?"

 

It was my turn to shrug. "No reason, I'm just curious.”

 

He chuckled briefly before his face turned serious again. "The soul is what makes vampires real humans again, I guess. I mean, it’s the essence that the human loses upon death and what the demon takes the place of upon its entry to the body. The soul adds a conscience to a turned vampire; it also keeps at bay the demonic urges because it is the original owner of the body, thus giving it more control."

 

"So the soul makes you feel bad for being evil and stops you from continuing to do horrible things?" I summarized.

 

"That's a simple way to put it, but yeah, it does do that. The soul also gives us back our sense of self,  returns to us all those pesky human emotions, it untwists everything the demon changed in us, and reveals to us who we used to be without the demon's interruption."

 

"Is that what your souls did to you when you guys got it back?" I asked, actually curious to know what happened during the time they were first cursed.

 

"I can't speak for Angelus, Darla and Dru, but for me it did just that. The soul made me see how horrible all the things I did were. Guilt was the first emotion I felt on the night my soul was returned to me. There were many other emotions that night, mostly self-hatred and disgust. It took a long time for me to accept the monster I’d become, even longer for me to accept the demon within and for it to accept me in return."

 

"Accept the demon? Wait, you still have the demon inside you?"

 

"Of course, I do! How else would I stay alive if the demon was no more? The demon is the one that's keeping this body talking and moving even without a pulse. It just no longer holds the greatest influence."

 

"Okay. But what did you mean by accepting the demon and it accepting you in return?"

 

He heavily sighed, before answering my question. "Earlier I told you that when a vampire's demon takes over, it influences the human. They do it by twisting up who the human used to be and getting them to submit to their demonic urges. Those are predominantly all about satisfying the beast within, which explains why newly turned vampires all search for the same thing when they wake up: blood. It also explains why vampires revel in violence, because that’s what the demon wants. When you return the soul to a vampire, all those urges take a backseat. But just because the demon is no longer a big influence to its human host, it doesn't mean they can no longer get the host to do what they want."

 

He paused, to see if I was following his explanation so far. From the confuse look on my face he got that I needed the super simple version.

 

"It's like when you are driving a car with a passenger beside you. Your passenger can still dictate where to go, but it's usually up you whether you follow their instructions or not. But there are times when that passenger can get so annoying that you allow them to tell you where to go or let them drive altogether. The demon and the soul's relationship is like that. Inside us soulled vampires we are divided by what the soul wants and what the demon wants. It’s a constant battle. Luckily for me, over the years, I have been able to learn how to satisfy both the demon and the soul. So I no longer have the problem of trying to keep my demon a bay."

 

"Wow. I wonder if Angel was able to do what you did, you know, satisfy both the soul and the demon."

 

"Nah, from what I've learned about him so far, he's still hasn't even accepted either part of himself, soul or demon. He hates them both, but hates the demon more so he tries to separate the demon from him and deny its existence within him. Stupid pillock."

 

"Isn't that dangerous?"

 

"In a way, yeah, it’s very dangerous. He could lose that soul of his and the demon would definitely take over and do all kinds of evil that’d be worse than anything he’d ever done before he was cursed."

 

"Like ending the world?" I asked with a grim expression.

 

"Yeah, that's a possibility.” Spike wore the same expression as me.

 

The two of us took a moment to think of all the wrong that would happen if Angel lost his soul. I had a really long list of all the evil things he could do to hurt me and my friends, especially Buffy, if such a thing were to happen. It made me shudder in fear, but I knew that I couldn't just suggest to have Angel killed for the fear of him one day losing his soul. I felt sort of helpless.

 

"Well, it's a good thing that with the curse that’s probably never going to happen," I tried to sound light hearted and optimistic.

 

But Spike's expression didn't change as he said the next words: "You should always remember, whelp, that all curses can be broken somehow or the other. It's only a matter of when."

 

"So you're telling me that Angel's curse could be broken at any day?!" I asked.

 

"That's right," he answered, making me panic even more. "But luckily for us, I happen to know about the only way to break the curse and how to prevent it from ever happening."

 

"Really?!How?" I asked, feeling a little bit of hope.

 

"The cursed used to ensoul us had but one way to break it, and that’s if the cursed vampire finds a moment of perfect happiness."

 

"You mean to say that all Angel has to do is be happy and he turns into Angelus again?" I questioned, raising my voice in the process.

 

"In a sense. But he doesn't become Angel just because he feels happy, he has to feel one moment of Perfect Happiness."

 

I tilted my head in confusion. "What the heck does that mean?"

 

"It means that in order for Angel to lose his soul he has to feel perfectly happy like he has never felt before."

 

"What kind of curse is that? We don't even know what perfect happiness is? How could those gypsies be so stupid to create a curse with such an easy but cryptic way of breaking it?" I was mad at how stupid and reckless those gypsies were. The thought that they created a curse that was so easy to break was just so idiotic.

 

"Tell me about it! Do you have any idea how upset it made us when we found out about that little clause inside the curse? Bloody hell, Darla nearly killed the witch who told us about that part."

 

I’d nearly forgotten that Spike and the other vampires were ensoulled with the same curse. Fear once again took my heart at the thought of us having to fight not just one, but all four of the Scourge of Europe. My terror must have been visible in my face because Spike began to reassure me.

 

"You've got nothing to worry about Darla, Dru and I with regards to the possibility of losing our souls. We've already taken care of that little problem a long time ago, back when we first found out about the curse's leeway. The witch, the one I told you earlier, found a way to get rid of the happiness clause and anchor our souls. So you lot have nothing to worry about when it comes to the three of us."

 

I nodded. "What about Angel?"

 

"I'll ask Darla to give Nona a call, she’s the witch’s granddaughter. She'll probably be okay with performing the soul anchoring spell for the poof, but of course we'd have to wait for a few months before it can be performed. Something to do with the spell only working on the Eve of the Spring Equinox. So, until then, we'll just have to stick to making sure the bastard doesn't get too happy, if you get what I mean." We shared an evil smile at that. Yup, the idea of making Angel miserable held a lot of merit.

 

We heard a twig break from behind us and we spun, preparing to attack the demon or monster behind us.

 

"Woah! Easy, it's me!"  Out intruder turned out to be none other than Buffy.

 

"Buffster? What the heck are you doing here?"

**(O.O)**

**Buffy**

 

It shouldn't have surprised when I walked to the cemetery, where a Ricardo Sanchez, who’d died of blood lost from a punctured wound on the neck, was buried and found Spike. The soulled vampire that had been haunting my head for weeks now was standing there. After all, we had agreed to let him and his family contribute to keeping the Hellmouth safe during the duration of their stay here.

 

But truthfully, I wasn't as surprised to see him as I was shocked to see who was with him. Xander. He’d been AWOL all afternoon. Willow had been worried about him, but I had been telling her that she didn’t need to be. But now seeing him talk to Spike, all buddy-buddy and with the close friendship thing going on between them, I had to question if whether I might have been wrong.

 

_Since when did Xander become friends with Spike? What’s more, since when did he became friends with Undead Vampires? He can barely tolerate Angel!_

I glared at the pair, having heard the last part of their conversation. Something about Angel not being allowed to be happy?

 

_What the hell?_

 

"I could ask you the same thing, Xander. What are you doing here?" I looked questioningly between him and Spike. "I haven't seen you since we talked at lunch and Willow was really worried."

 

Xander gave me an apologetic smile. "Sorry Buff. I just wanted some much needed Xan-man alone time to clear my head after what happened last night.” I nodded my head sympathetically.

 

Okay, I could understand the wanting to be alone part. Last night was something I know would've bothered a guy like Xander. It's never easy to find out your girlfriend was an ancient mummy who wanted to suck the youth out of you.

 

"Don't worry, I'll call Willow later and explain to her where I was." He promised.

 

"Okay," I said before I turned to face Spike. "And how do you fit into the mix?" I tried to look intimidating.

 

But god, it was hard, especially since all I want was to jump his bones!

 

I mentally slapped myself again. Damn, this crush I had on him was starting to go too far! I'd understand if I just found him hot, really, but I found him more than that. I found him to be my perfect mate.

 

 _Wait a minute! Mate? Where the heck had_ that _word come from? What the heck was wrong with me?_

 

"Oh, I was making sure the whelp didn't wallow too much in self-pity, so I stayed with him all evening. Even treated him to dinner to get the boy out of his melancholic state." Spike wore an irritating smirk that he directed at Xander, of all people.

 

"Hey, I was so not wallowing in self-pity and wasn’t in any kind of melancholic state! I was the picture of happiness earlier!" my friend exclaimed.

 

"Really? Could've fooled me. What with your sloppy aim and terrible strategy," Spike taunted him, but at the same time they shared a look that spoke volumes, but only to each other.

 

_God, what the hell happened to these two that made them this close?_

 

I wanted to know, but not so much because I was curious about them as I wanted to get pointers about how to become that close to Spike. If not more--

 

_Gah! Buffy, get your mind out of the gutter!_

"Sloppy aim? Terrible stratagy? This comes from the guy who got creamed more times than I did?" Xander rolled his eyes. I swear that him and Spike had forgotten I was even there.

 

"Not my fault the enemy found me too attractive and sent most of the bullets my way,” Spike said, looking all smug.

 

_Too right you are, vampire._

 

"Whatever," Xander told him ending the argument. He turned to finally face me and saw that I was staring at them. "Uh, something wrong, Buffster?"

 

"Nothing," I hurriedly said. "I was just surprised, that's all. I mean, since when did you two became buds and what do you mean getting shot at? Where exactly have you two been all afternoon?" I asked, trying to sound casual to cover my curiosity

 

"Oh, we were at the arcade playing a shooting game," my friend answered before following that statement with one final verbal jab at Spike. "Turns out Spike here is only good with battling real enemies and the virtual ones gets him killed." The bleach vampire groaned and shot him a gesture that I’m pretty sure was offensive.

 

"Oo-kaay. So you two just played video games together and now you’re best of friends, huh?" I asked Xander, my voice coming out angrier that I’d meant it to.

 

_Hey, I can't be blamed for being jealous._

 

Though whether I was jealous of Spike for being able to cheer up Xander or of Xander for making with friends with Spike, I wasn't certain.

 

"Well, yeah, we're friends now. The whelp and reached an understanding earlier," Spike stated, surprising me and Xander at the same time. "Hope that's not a problem for you, Slayer?" His question caught me off guard.

 

"Problem? Why would it be a problem? Xander can be friends with anyone he wants, I just want him to remember that being friends with the undead, even the souled ones, can still be dangerous.”

 

_What the heck was that? I sounded like a total bitch._

 

"Oh, that's rich coming from the girl who's dating a vampire!" Spike replied with a sneer.

 

_Great! Now I've made him hate me! Way to go Buffy! So much for making friends with him._

 

"Hey! Leave Angel out of this!" I yelled at him and he glared at me with those beautiful color-changing eyes of his.

 

_Okay, so maybe making him angry wasn't so bad. He even more hotter when he's angry._

 

"What? You really think I'd just stand down and let you imply that I'd get the boy hurt while he hangs out with me?” he yelled back at me.

 

"I didn't say that! I only said I wanted him to be careful!"

 

We started exchanging insults after that, which was weird because one: I never meant to start a fight with him and two: I found myself enjoying making Spike angry and arguing with him. He had so much fire inside of him and that fire was igniting something inside of me... Something old and primal...

 

We were in each other's faces, now. His scent filling my nose: leather, smoke and something earthy and male. It was driving me crazy, but not as crazy as the sight of his lips so close to mine... if I moved a few inches closer I could connect his mouth to mine. And I think that I really would've, had Xander not called out saying that Ricardo was awake and had taken off running instead of fighting us like normal fledglings do. I was irritated at being interrupted, but at the same time happy because I nearly did something I was certain I would regret. But I didn't stick around to question those feelings because I just took off after the vampire.

 

It didn't take long for me to catch up to him and we started fighting. Too bad he was weak and really easy to punch to the ground, because I could have done with a real fight to distract me from how angry I was at myself for nearly giving into my desires. I was frustrated and had no release. I needed someone to take out my feeling on, someone who isn't the hot bleached-blond vampire who had finally caught up to me. So yeah, the vampire underneath became my punching bag, and when I had had enough and noticed that the vamp was no longer conscious, I took out my stake and killed the poor thing.

 

"Well about time, Slayer! I was beginning to think you were planning to dust the poor bastard with your fists," Spike said as I stood up. "Makes me wonder what the poor bloke did to piss you off."

 

"He ran from me," was all I said, while trying hard to ignore the growing blush on my cheeks and focusing on patting away the vamp dusts from my jeans.

 

_Damn, and these were new!_

 

His laughter vibrated the quiet cemetery making me stare at him. "Well, then I guess I should remember to avoid pissing you off from now on!" There was an amused twinkle in his eyes.

 

"I'm pretty sure you just did," I pointed out while crossing my arms. I was trying to look irritated but inwardly I was smiling.

 

"In my defense, you started that argument," he said with a teasing smile that made my legs a bit shaky. I blushed and shyly smiled back at him.

 

"Hey, guys!" Xander called out as he approached us. "Man, you two sure can run!" he said in between his panting.

 

"Slayer and vampire here, mate. You should expect us to be fast runners," Spike told him.

 

"Yeah, I know that," Xander said, still puffing. "But couldn't you two have waited a little bit for me?"

 

I felt sorry for my friend, he must've really tried to catch up with us when we went after that vamp, but I hadn’t even once thought of him while I was punching the fledge into the dirt.

 

"Sorry, Xan," I muttered.

 

"Naw, it's alright Buffster. You guys had to take care of coward-Ricardo after all. And speaking of which, what happened to him? You guys dusted him without me?"

 

"Yeah, but the Slayer did all the work, even added in a good beat-down.” Spike directed another irritating grin in my direction.

 

I was about to tell him off when Spike's cell started ringing. He answered and began conversing to the other person on the line. I still found it weird to see a vampire as old as Spike so up to date and at home with technology. It was another bullet-point on the list of things that made Spike different from other vamps.

 

"Yeah, I'm on my way." He ended the call and turned to face Xander and I again. "That was Darla, she said she wants me home 'cause Dru was looking for me."

 

"Is she alright? Dru--I mean, is Drusilla okay?" I asked, genuinely concerned for the vampiress. I found myself caring for the woman, not only because I found her sweet and innocent demeanor enchanting, but also because I knew that Spike, and to an extent Angel, cared about her and what happened to her.

 

"She's fine. Just had a vision and Grandmum wants me to translate it. The dumb bint still hasn't figured out how to interpret what my Dru sees.” He sighed. “I need to get back to her anyway. The silly girl has been looking for me, apparently." He gave us an apologetic look.

 

We understood his reasons and allowed him to bow out gracefully. Xander thanked him while I apologized to him for my bitchy behavior. He accepted Xander's thanks and gave me a mysterious smile for my apology, which both confused me and sent butterflies to my stomach, before finally bidding us goodnight and promising to join us again some other time.

 

As I watched Spike go, relief flooded me.

 

_I should be just fine now that he was gone, because I'd no longer be distracted by his presence._

 

Oh, but how wrong I was for thinking that, because he was hardly out of sight before I felt something raging inside of me, screaming at me to go after him and not let him go.

 

 It was that _thing_ again, the one that'd been disturbing my thoughts and controlling my actions lately. It had been growing stronger. Mostly It’d been trying to get me to go to find Spike and make him mine. It scared me to no end, this strange, primitive entity inside of me that was controlling my desires. Yet, for some reasons, I still didn't think the thing evil. Old, maybe, but never evil. Which was why I hadn't told Giles about it, because I was worried what he might do to it, and because, despite the way this thing was making me think, feel, and act, I had the feeling that this thing belonged to me.

 

_So yeah, no telling Giles. At least just not yet..._

 

**(O.O)**

 

 

 


	17. An Outing and The Seer's Visions

 

**(O.O)**

**Drusilla**

 

It is so unfair, you know...?

 

Everyone seems to be busy with something tonight. Either they are off fighting some naughty college boys who were summoning nasty lizard demons or they’re researching for my cure, all while little old me was stuck inside this boring room all by my lonesome. I can't even play with my dollies because Grandmummy took them away because she wanted me to rest.

 

So unfair!

 

Suddenly, I felt dizzy, even though I was already laying on my bed. I heard voices and whispers from the damned and beyond. It grew louder as images of death, pain, and grief came to me. I couldn't take it anymore.

 

Oooh... My head...

 

Suddenly the vision passed and I knew that I was needed elsewhere.

 

"I must go now," I whispered to myself as got out of my bed and slipped out of my nightgown and got dressed for the dance that I would be attending this evening.

 

After applying the final touches to my ruby red lipstick, I opened my vanity's drawer and took out one of the stakes that I had hidden there. I placed it on the leather strap that was tied around my thigh and then slowly walked towards the door of my room.

 

"Going to help out the Sunshine's mum." I smiled happily and let out a small giggle as I quietly descended the stairs and silently walked down the hallway.

 

I was glad that I could not sense William or Grandmummy within the house. It made this escape of mine that much easier without them around. I still needed to avoid the minions though, because they tell my secrets. They adore and fear Grandmummy too much to not tell her I was leaving or stop me from going. Luckily for me, it seemed that the minions were all in the study, most likely still researching for my stupid cure, instead of the lobby where they usually hung out. But I still needed to be careful. They were vampires after all, and could possibly hear me trying to leave.

 

So yes, soundlessly I will go. I had been just a few steps to the door when a voice resounded behind me.

 

"Mistress Drusilla?"

 

"Dalton!" I cried out in surprised as I turned to face the other vampire. I glanced at the door leading towards the study to check if I had been heard by any of the other minions. When none came out, I sighed in relief.

 

"What are you doing out of bed?" he asked as he slowly approached, making me turn to face him again.

 

"I was hoping to get some fresh air." I had to lie, for I knew the minion in front of me would not agree with my plan to rescue a certain Slayer's mum. "I've been stuck in my room for so long that I wish to get out and stretch my legs."

 

"Well, Mistress, we can get that in the garden around back. You don't have to go out front," he told me, slowly approaching. His hand closed gently around my wrist.

 

"Oh, but Dalton, I do not want to get it there! I mean, I cannot go there!" I told him and subtly struggled against his arm that was leading me towards the gardens.

 

He stopped, thankfully, and gave me an inquisitive look. "Why, Mistress?"

 

"Um--I am allergic to certain plant there!"

 

Oh my! My lies just kept adding up, one after another. Miss Edith would truly be cross with me once I get her back from Grandmummy. So please don't tell her!

 

"Allergic? I didn't know vampires can be allergic." His brow furrowed.

 

"Oh, yes, we do. Some more nastily than others. We retain them from when we were still alive. I remember when William got stung by a bee once, he was all puffy eyed and red!" I said with enthusiasm but I winced inside, because I knew my Spike had not wanted me to tell anyone about that certain embarrassment.

 

He winced too, though I was not certain why. "I see. Then I guess the gardens would be a bad idea then."

 

"Oh, yes. A terrible, terrible one indeed!" I agreed eagerly. "Which is why I was heading out front."

 

"Alright, Mistress, let's go," he stated, slowly leading me again but this time to front door.

 

"Go?" I was not certain what he meant.

 

"Yes. You said you wanted to go outside for some fresh air, then we shall," he said, opening the door for me.

 

"We?" I repeated, stepping outside and not liking where this was headed.

 

"Yes, we. I can't very well let you wander off by yourself." The tone was so condescending that it made my blood boil.

 

"Why not?!" I asked angrily, turning to face him.

 

He looked surprised. He must not have expected me to be cross with him, but I was mad at his treatment of me. I rarely lose my temper, but it was because I was finally tired of being treated like this. Tired of being cared for and smothered by everyone. Tired of being thought of as a weak and hopeless little girl, instead of the dangerous century old vampire and seer that I really was. My demon has been craving violence and blood since my illness had began and tonight I finally had the opportunity to sate it, but this minion seemed to be standing in my way. Had I not liked him for being a constant reminder of my William, I would have just used my thrall on him or knock him to unconsciousness earlier when he appeared. But now he was being a nuisance and at the moment I was truly regretting not having done so.

 

"Do not think me as a helpless human, Dalton, for I am not. I am a vampire and I can take care of myself. True, I am weakened due to my illness, but I am not useless. I can still rip your heart from your chest with my bare hands and my soul shall not feel no regret of it, minion," I told him with a sneer, though again it was a lie. I would never harm Dalton, unless he gave me a very good reason to. I was simply trying to make him understand that I was not as helpless as he had pegged me to be.

 

"I know, Mistress Drusilla," he said in such an unusually calm tone that it surprised me. "I didn't mean to offend you, Mistress, and if I did, I'm sorry." He bowed his head at me before turning to face me again. "I only really wanted to come with you to make sure you would be safe. I know you can take care of yourself and yes, I have no doubt you can dust my worthless hide if you wanted to, but you need to remember that you're not at your full strength and you can seriously get hurt if you're not careful." He took my hand into his and stared in to my eyes with such a kind and gentle expression that it reminded me of how my papa used to look at me when he had yet to know of my gift. "And a lot of us would feel really sad if anything were to happen to you. Not just Mistress Darla and Master Spike, but myself also. I couldn’t stand losing you, Mistress, because I've come to care for you so very much. Please, let me to accompany you."

 

All the anger from earlier melted at the sincerity of his words and I felt warmed by them. I smiled at the minion, who for the first time since I met him looked extremely brave in front of me. He was truly like my William. So warm and caring, so unlike the monster he was supposed to be.

 

"Very well, you may come with me to the party," I told him as I walked away and headed towards the direction where I knew the tragedy would occur.

 

"Um, pa-pa-party, Mistress? I thought we were just going to get some fresh air?" he said as he scurried after me.

 

I smiled a little at how quickly his usual nervousness returned.

 

"Oh, I lied about that part." I gave him a sidelong glance and saw the confusion in his eyes, making my smile grow. "In truth, I plan to attend a dance party tonight, Dalton, for as you can see that I am dress for it." I indicated my pretty attire for the evening. "The stars have whispered something tragic into my ears. I need to put a stop to it, or many will shed tears." Tossing my hair I continued walking.

 

His confused look was immediately replaced by fearful realization as he caught my meaning. "Oh, god! A vision? M-mistress Drusilla, you had a vision?" I ignored his questions, not breaking stride. "M-m-mistress, if you had a vision, then I believe we should try and inform either Mistress Darla or Master Spike of it. You don't have to prevent it all by yourself." He was continuing to run after me.

 

When he finally caught up to me, I took pity and answered. "Yes, Dalton, I did have a vision, a terrible one. But I cannot wait for Grandmummy and my Spike to prevent it, because they would  too late to stop it. So I must be the one to do it. If we wait the Sunshine's mum would not survive," I informed him. "Besides, I am not alone. I have you after all." I giggled at his surprised and clearly fearful expression.

 

"B-b-but Mistress Darla will be returning soon from the post office with the new books. I-I'm sure she will be a better fighting companion than me!" he tried to reason, but I had chosen to ignore his words. Instead I focused on finding the shop I knew the Slayer's mum was in.

 

A few more minutes of wandering, with Dalton complaining and attempting to reason with me, I found the Gallery of Arts and Antiquities, where I knew the Slayer's mum worked. I smiled when I saw the beautiful art piece on display in the window. I recognized its brush strokes and the art style, it was a painting from the eighteenth century, when I’d been alive. The painting was of an angel and a woman that looked like she was confessing her sins while a demon dragged her towards a red pit that was probably hell. I was not familiar with the artist or the painting itself, but it seemed authentic. I stared at the painting and I fell in love with it and how it seemed to depict my own life.

 

I had once been on the path to Holiness, but had been forced to stray from it upon catching the attention of the devil, Angelus. I had been tortured, defiled, and many other evil deeds had been done unto me by that monster. And at the end of it all I had been deprived of my eternal rest and turned into the same kind monster that’d tormented me. I shook in anger as the memories of what Angelus had done to me overwhelmed my heart. My soul still wanted retribution, even after all these years, even after knowing that Angelus was no longer the same devil he had once been.

 

"Wrong!" screamed the pixies in my head.

 

Flashes of images suddenly came to me but they were all jumbled and muddled. I could not see clearly what they were but I knew they all involved that nasty Angel-beast. But it was all so confusing.

 

Why couldn’t I see them clearly? Something was blocking my visions! But why and what? This had happened to me once before, a few weeks back, but I had not thought much of it and simply reasoned that it’d been caused by the illness. But having the clear vision of the Slayer's mum dying tonight was enough to prove to me that it was not the illness that was hindering my Sight, but something entirely different. I couldn’t tell whether the ones responsible for the block were good or evil. It was all so disturbing that it made my head spin.

 

"Mistress Drusilla?" Dalton's voice shook me back to reality. I found that I was leaning up against other vampire, his arms wrapped protectively around my body. "Please, mistress, tell me what's wrong. Tell me how I can ease your pain." His voice was panicked, but gentle. I stared into Dalton's brown eyes and was reminded of a set of different colored eyes that’d once stared into me with the same loving expression.

 

Oh, he was so much like my William.

 

I missed my boy, even though I have not yet lost him. I have always known that Fate and Destiny would take him from me, but my heart still broke at his leaving. He was the only good thing that I had created since my turning into a beast. His light was always bright, even though he was dead, even though he was a monster, even though Angelus had made him his pupil. William still retained his ability to love and care for others, namely me. And upon the return of his soul, his brightness had only grown. No longer did my William belong in the dark, yet he choose to stay there for others like me; the evil, the nasty, the wicked and the damned. He was our light, the star and the moon of our night. Effulgent. That was my William. And one day, he will lead beasts far worse than us back into the arms of the Father. I'd seen that this would happen many years ago. His soul would purge Evil and its soldiers, closing the Gates of Hell forever. That was his destiny.

 

My hand raised and cupped Dalton's cheek. This minion's light was not as bright as my William's, nor was his destiny as great as his, but he possessed those two nonetheless.

 

He smiled at me and asked if I was alright. I returned his smile."I’m fine. The naughty pixies were at it again. But thanks to you, they went away. You sent them away and brought me back. Thank you, my dark protector."

 

I noticed how his eyes widened at the name. Curious. Why would he be surprised to be called that? It was what he was: my protector. The one who, one day, would be willing to serve me even if it meant his death. A death that would once again leave me alone. I closed my eyes and brushed away such thoughts.

 

Silly little me, thinking about that tonight. It was not important at the moment. No sense breaking my heart twice this evening.

 

I straightened up and left his grasp, giving him a grateful smile.

 

"Are you alright now, Mistress?" he asked me.

 

"Yes, Dalton. No need to fret about little old me anymore."

 

A scream resounded in the air, alerting me tof trouble and reminding of the tragedy that I was meant to prevent. I ran towards the back alley where the scream had come from, Dalton hot on my heels.

 

We arrived at the scene and saw six horrid vampires holding two unconscious women captive. Two vampires were draining the blood of one of the women, while three others waited beside them to take their turn. That left one vampire, who stood in a corner, glaring at his companions while holding the Slayer's mum in his arms.

 

"Hurry up already, we want our turn with the meal!" one of the vampires hissed.

 

"Oh shut up, Bob, and don't be an idiot! This is only one human, it ain't gonna be enough to satisfy all of us," snarled one of the eating vampires.

 

"Yeah, so why don't you go hunt another one of your meal because there’s about to be bone dry!" the second feeding vampire added.

 

Bob was peeved. "We don't have time to hunt another meal! Especially since the boss told us to bring the Slayer's mother back to her immediately after we've taken her!"

 

"Why? It’s not like there's a reason, besides that one, to hurry back to the nest. The boss will still be there waiting anyway." The vamp turned back to its meal.

 

"Yeah, also it's not like the Slayer's going come and take her away from us. She's probably still busy stopping a bunch of idiots from summoning a demon!" one of the other vampires pointed out. "So just go and hunt your own food, no one's going be able to stop you anyway."

 

"I would not be too sure of that, little puppies." I stalked towards the group. "I shall only tell you naughty doggies this once: let the pretty lady and the Sunshine's mum go, and I might consider allowing at least one of you to live beyond this night."

 

They laughed at my words, which made me feel confused then insulted. Why would they laugh at their eminent deaths? I tilted my head. “What’s so funny?”

 

"There, guys, looks like dinner just delivered itself to you!" one of the vampires who had been eating giggled.

 

Bob walked towards me with a predatory smile.

 

"Hey, there pretty girl. Are you lost? How about you let good old Bobby here take you home?" He draped his arm around my shoulder and I shuddered.

 

They didn't even notice that I was a vampire! How foolish! I was insulted. Miss Edith would have been mightily cross with them too had I brought her with me tionight.

 

I immediately took hold of his hand and twisted the offending appendage until I heard it pop, his wrist shattering, before using my other hand went to grab his throat. His scream was cut short as I ripped out throat. I shoved him away and ended his pain with a swift blow of my stake to his heart.

 

"Disrespectful puppies shall be punished," I threatened while I licked the blood off my hands.

 

"Bitch!" One vampire screamed as two of them ran towards me.

 

I graciously stepped to the side as one of the two vampires tried to grab me. I tooked the collar of his shirt and threw him into his companion so both struck the alley wall. I ducked to avoid a punch from the third vampire, before elbowing his stomach and hitting his nose with the palm of my hand, breaking it. While he was bent over, preoccupied with the pain, I dusted him. I was grabbed from behind by the fourth vampire. He was trying to squeeze me hard enough to crush my spine.

 

"Mistress Drusilla!" Dalton hollered.

 

I ignored his worried cry and continued to struggle against the nasty puppy's hold.

 

"You’re not going anywhere now, little birdie. You're going to pay for dusting Bob and Bill," he whispered to me ear, making me scrunch my face at the fetid smell of his breath.

 

"I do not think so." I twisted my arm around and stuck my finger into his eye. In his agony, he released his hold on me, and I whipped around and sunk my stake in. His dust floated to the ground.

 

I turned to the remaining vamps, finding the first two that’d rushed be back on their feet.

 

"Are you two waiting for an invite?" I taunted.

 

The two immediately took up my challenge and ran at me again, only this time, instead of avoiding them, I faced them head on. I delivered a kick to one vampire, sending him flying to the dumpster and scratched the face of the other one, but not before he’d landed a single punch to my face. It wasn’t enough to detour me and I quickly dusted both him and his companion, who’d been stunned from hitting his head.

 

As they crumbled to dust, I felt my demon inside of me roar with pride and happiness. Too long, I felt it say, too long since I felt the blood from my veins rush in such a way. Too long since I’d tasted the blood of my enemies. And far too long since I’d last felt this free! I closed my eyes to savor the feeling. My soul was quiet as I let the beast glory in the violence.

 

More...

 

I knew what it meant and understood what it wanted. So I turned to face the last of the vampires, the one who had the Slayer's mum.

 

"Who the hell are you?" he asked, taking a step back from me.

 

My eyes narrowed at his slow attempt to retreat. "Oh, how rude of me." I smirked as I ambled towards him. "Allow me then to introduce myself." He halted, cornered against the building. "I am Drusilla, childe of Angelus of the line of Aurelius. Some call me mad, others called me the Enchantress." I stared into him eyes, drawing him inside of me. "How about you, puppy? Who are you?"

 

He shivered before answering. "I'm Michael, ugh--I don't really have a s-sire or a bloodline to answer to."

 

He tried to look away by moving his head to the side, but I would have none of that. I traced a finger along his jaw and slowly directed him to look back at me. "Tell me, Michael, why do you want the Slayer's mum?" He seemed hesitant, so I pulled him further into my mind. I grabbed hold of the demon and whatever humanity was left in him. "Stay with me, puppy. Stay inside of me. Be with me, be in me, stay with me," I muttered, not taking my gaze off of his. He finally relaxed and his eyes took on a glassy sheen. He was in my thrall. "Michael, answer me now: What do you want with the Slayer's mum? Why were you trying to take her? Who were you taking her to?"

 

"Revenge, mistress. My boss wanted revenge against the Slayer for killing her brother. She planned to turn her mother and send the woman to kill the Slayer."

 

"I see. And does your mistress have a name?"

 

"Freya, mistress. Her name is Freya, but she prefers to be called Lucinda or Lady Lu. She is the favored Childe of Njord of the Order of Vanir. Her brother was Freyr, or Lucius as he usually was called, he was the one who the Slayer killed on the Night of Saint Vigeous."

 

Vanir? I knew of this Order. They hailed from Northern Europe, and never ventured too far from their territory. Cowards, that's what Grandmummy used to call them, for they never did anything remarkable or significant that would make their name stand out for fear of being hunted by the Council or the Slayer. So why would they come to the Hellmouth and directly attack the Slayer and her family?

 

"What are the Childers from that Order doing here?" I asked.

 

"They have lived separately from the Order a few years after they were turned in the early seventies, mistress. They have long since wanted to claim the Hellmouth as theirs, but the Master of the Order of Aurelius was here. He still held great sway, despite the fact that he was trapped inside the Hellmouth."

 

"I see."

 

So they were only foolish children who wish stand out above all the fishes. Well, that was disappointing, don't you think?

 

"Thank you, Michael," I then told him and patted his head like one does for a good puppy. Then a wonderful thought came to my mind as I stared at the still entranced fledgling in front of me. "Michael, can you do me a favor?" I asked, mirth in my tone.

 

"Anything, Mistress."

 

"Release the Slayer's mum and hand her over to Dalton," I commanded the enthralled vampire while gesturing at my minion to take the unconscious woman.

 

Once the Slayer's mum was in Dalton's hands, I immediately used my stake and dusted the vampire. I smiled in satisfaction as I glanced around at the remains of the vampires, who had planned to murder an innocent woman tonight. I was proud of myself for being able to not only save the said woman but also for being able survive this dance without my illness acting up.

 

"Little lamb was not so pretty until she met up with Mary and found her fleece all bloody," I sing-songed in glee. "Am I right, Dalton?"

 

"Uh--" was his ineloquent reply as he shifted the unconscious woman in his arms.

 

I pouted at the fact that he didn't understand my words. I only meant to inform him that I had had fun and that dancing tonight had helped me forget my illness and allowed my demon some release. It was not that hard to understand. William seemed to always be able to understand me, so why couldn’t Dalton, or anyone else for that matter?

 

"Do you know how frustrating it is for the river to flow downwards instead of up?" I asked conversationally , earning myself another confused look. I sighed. "Never you mind."

 

Instead of further explaining my words I settled for inspecting the Sunshine's mum's unconscious form. She was still out, but I saw no other physical injuries aside from a bloody gash on her forehead.

 

Hmmm, a head injury would explain why she wasn’t waking up. Did she need medical attention?

 

I bit my lip, unsure of what to do next. I’d only seen how the Slayer's mother's death would affect the Sunshine, but I had no thought of what to do after preventing it.

 

"Perhaps, Mistress Drusilla, it would be best if we send this woman to the hospital. She has a head wound and those can be very dangerous for humans." Dalton answered my unvoiced question.

 

"A wise idea," I agreed with a smile.

 

We left immediately with the two unconscious women.

 

The other one was still alive, blessed be the Lord for his mercy.

 

Upon our arrival at the hospital, we were immediately greeted by medical personnel that took the women out of our hands and asked us questions about what had happened. Over the years I’d become an expert at hiding to the humans the truth of our existence, so it was natural to me to invent a situation to explain it all away. After answering their inquiries, Dalton and I had decided to finally go home for the night. But before we could make an exit one of the doctors attending the Slayer's mum called us and told us that the woman had wanted to meet up with us, her saviors. I saw no reason to avoid the woman so we visited her room.

 

"Hello?" I called as I entered.

 

"Hello," the woman on the bed said with the kindest smile. It felt really familiar to me. "You must be Ms. Mallard and Mr. Abercott."

 

"We are. Though I prefer to be called Drusilla and this here is Dalton," I answered her question and pointed to the minion who stood behind me. He squirmed under our gazes which made me think that he looked cute. "He does not talk much," I explained to her the minion's shy behavior. "But enough about us, I am more concern about your health. Are you alright now?"

 

"Yes, thanks to the two of you," she frowned. "If you two hadn't found us earlier, I don't know what those thugs would’ve done to us."

 

"They'd have done real nasty things to the both of you, especially you, madam," I said with venom in my voice. Her eyes widened. I felt bad for scaring the poor woman. "Pardon me; I had not meat to--"

 

"No, you're right," she cut short my apology. "If you hadn’t come to our rescue, we would've been dead by now. Which is why, again, I really want to thank you. I'm Joyce Summers, by the way." She introduced herself and smiled at me again. It was then that I had realized who it was that she reminded me.

 

"Mummy?" I whispered with realization.

 

"Excuse me?" she asked.

 

"I--Sorry. What I had meant to say was that you are very welcome and it is very nice to meet you, Joyce." I gave her a shaky smile.

 

It was her! But not really her, she just looked very much like my poor mum. The hair and eye color were slightly different and she looked older, but the differences were minor, she looked almost exactly like my mum.

 

Mother. I never thought I’d see her again...

 

I could not help the little tears falling from my eyes at the sight of her.

 

Oh, where was Miss Edith when I needed her. She always made things better. She always knew what to do in these situations.

 

"Oh my, are you alright?" the woman asked, alarmed.

 

"I’m fine. I'm just really glad you are alright." I wiped away the tears, but it ended up being a futile attempt. Oh dear, the tears just wouldn't stop. "The stars are shining far too bright tonight. Dalton?" The minion handed me a handkerchief to which I used to dry my eyes, after I had successfully stopped myself from crying, I apologized: "Sorry, I'm really emotional when I am happy."

 

"It's okay. My daughter gets like that sometimes. I believe your teenage hormones are responsible."

 

My eyes widened as I realized that she must not know that I was a vampire. It also made me believe that she didn't know about the existence of vampires and demons, nor did she know of her daughter's destiny to hunt and kill them. I found the information a strange thing. The Slayer's mother not knowing about the darkness in town and the Slayer herself keeping such a secret hidden. It was a very peculiar and dangerous way of handling things. It wasn’t really my place to tell her, but had sudden need make sure that the woman knew the truth.

 

It’d keep her much safer.

 

However, even as I was about to reveal the truth about my kind, the door behind me opened to reveal a very angry Slayer with an equally very pissed off Master Vampire.

 

"Buffy!" Joyce called.

 

"William!" I cried at the same time.

 

The two of them entered and the Slayer approached her mother's side, while William came to me. He stood in front of me and glared at both Dalton and I.

 

"Drusilla," he started with an edge in his voice. "I believe it is time for us to get along home."

 

"Yes, I believe so, too," I agreed with a tight smile. I turned to face Joyce. "I’m glad I was able to meet with you Ms. Joyce Summers. Although I wish that next time you wouldn’t let the little doggies bite your tree." Both the Slayer and her gave me confused looks, which was irritating.

 

"What she meant to say was that next time avoid traveling after sundown so you won’t be attacked," William explained.

 

See? I told you that my William could understand me.

 

"I’ll keep that in mind, Drusilla," Joyce said firmly. "And it was nice meeting you, too."

 

I bowed my head and dropped a slight curtsy. Old habits truly die hard.

 

After that, William grabbed my arm and dragged me outside the room with Dalton trailing closely behind us. Once we left the hospital, William released me from his hold and stomped ahead of us. Dalton and I cautiously followed. He was very angry. It was obvious by the absence of his usual swagger. I walked faster to catch up with him but he just ignored me. He had to be very upset to do that.

 

I bit my lip as guilt and fear ran through my chest at the knowledge that’d I made William this angry. Guilt was from the soul, of course, but the fear came from my years of being with Angelus. It wasn’t logical terror, but Angelus had ruined me in such a way that I always associated anger with punishment. The kind of punishment that hurt and went on and on.

 

"I'm sorry," I said, tears falling. "I'm really, really sorry, William." More tears came, making it hard for me to see as William stopped and turned toward me. "I was only doing what I believed was right. I did not mean to make anyone angry. I'm sorry, William, I am so, so sorry. Please don't punish me. I don't want it, please, William--I promise not to be bad girl... Please..."

 

My body shook as the memory of the things Angelus did overtook me; the lashings, the beatings, and tortures I had no name for. Oh God, they’d been horrible, and at that moment I was sent back to that. I felt my soul crying in agony and my mind breaking.

 

Strong arms wrapped themselves around me. "Oh, Dru. There, there. No need for tears, pet. No one’s gonna punish you." His gentle words should have comforted me but so often Angelus had said the exact same thing to me, to give me hope before snatching it away again.

 

No, I didn’t want that!

 

I struggled against the hold of that monster.

 

"No! Let me go! Daddy, please don't hurt me!" I cried and screamed.

 

"Drusilla, don't! No, I'm not him, Dru! Stop it, Dru!" I heard the words but I couldn’t seem to get out of the past.

 

I scratched and kicked and punched and bit hard using my blunt human teeth.

 

"Ow. God dammit, Dru!"

 

Pain...

 

Numbness...

 

Blackness...

 

 

 

 

**TBC**

 

**(O.O)**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	18. A Slayer's Epiphany and Resolve for Change

**Note: _Italics_ are Buffy's personal/Slayer thoughts.**

 

**(O.O)**

**Buffy**

 

_This was so not my night!_

Earlier, I had been so happy. I was even humming as I prepared for my date with Angel at the Bronze. Then, as I was headed there, I ran into a couple of vampires. They’d taunted me and forced me to chase them all the way to Pop's Pumpkin Patch, where we had a not so epic battle. Not epic in the sense that I had failed miserably in immediately slaying the two stupid vamps which had resulted in me getting my attire and hair ruined!

 

But that wasn't the worst thing that happened .

 

_Oh, boy. It really wasn't!_

 

I went inside the Bronze, hoping with all hope to at least get on with my date despite my wretched appearance. Only instead I got treated to the sight of Angel standing beside Cordelia Chase while smiling and laughing at what she was saying!

 

_The jerk!_

 

When the dolt finally noticed me, he had the audacity to look horrified at my appearance!

 

_Way to make a girl feel special, you idiot!_

 

Cordy commenting about it didn't help raise my self-esteem either. Instead, I felt even more depressed and practically cancelled the entire date altogether, leaving the two alone with each other and running outside and trying to get as far away from them as possible.

 

_So much for my one night of normalcy._

 

So here I was, slowly walking back home in my pumpkin splattered shirt and jeans, with my hair all icky and frizzy, all by my lonesome. I really wanted to cry at the moment. All I wanted was a nice normal date with my super-hot if not so normal boyfriend, but instead I ended up coming in late and appearing like I had just been through a twister together with pumpkins, not to mention I had to see Angel shamelessly getting flirted at by Cordelia fucking-Chase!

 

"Why can't I ever get just one single day? Just one day, where nothing bad happens to me and I don't have to slay stuff and can be normal, high school girl-Buffy! Why can't I get that? Was I really so evil in a past life that I’m being punished to live like this? Why? Why? Why? WHY?" I yelled with the top of my lungs to the sky.

 

"You know, they're never gonna answer you, even if you scream loud enough to wake the whole bloody neighborhood," a familiar voice resounded from behind me, catching me by surprise. I turned towards a very familiar face.

 

"What are you doing here, Spike?" I asked him, crossing my arms and giving him a little glare.

 

I was so not in the mood to deal with weird soulled vampires who had the ability to make me mysteriously feel jelly-legged with just one sexy look.

 

"I live here, Slayer," he then pointed, with the lit portioned of his cancer stick, to the large two-story house behind me.

 

I turned and realized, with great embarrassment, that my feet had accidentally led me to Spike's neighborhood.

 

_Idiot!_

 

"Oh-I mean, yeah, I knew that," I said, trying to at least hide the shame.

 

"Uh huh." He raised a scarred brow but said nothing else. Instead he looked me over in a way that made me even more embarrassed. "Anyway, what the bloody hell happened to you?"

 

I immediately became conscious at my appearance, and started to straighten my hair.

 

"Vamps," was all I managed to say.

 

He nodded his head in understanding. "Well that explains the look, how about the behavior earlier? Care to explain why you were yelling at the stars loud enough to waken the dead?"

 

"No, not really," I told him with a huff, remembering my bad mood, and turned and continued walking away from him. But as I was walking away I heard the familiar footsteps of the vampire. He was following closely behind me.

 

I walked faster but he followed me at the same speed. He annoyingly kept it up, even as I left the block.

 

"Dammit! What the hell do you want?" I asked, turning around to face him.

 

"Nothing, really. Just thought I'd accompany you until you get home." He shrugged, and what he said bugged me even more.

 

_He was underestimating me!_

 

I put on my best Slayer glare and aimed it at the conceited vampire in front of me.

 

"Listen here, Mister! I am the Slayer, and I can take care of myself!" I poked his hard chest with my finger. "I don't need an annoying, bleached blond, soulled vampire's protection! So you go back to that broken lamp post in front of your house, smoke your dead lungs out, and leave me alone!" I yelled at him and continued walking. I was only a few feet away from him when I heard the heavy steps of his boot clad feet following me yet again. I turned around to tell him off for the second time. "God, what the hell? Can't you understand simple English? I don't want you coming with me! I don't need your protection! I can get home all by myself without--"

 

"Oh, will you sodding shut up!" he yelled back at me, "I'm not trying to brass you off and I am not coming with you because I think you need my bloody protection! God knows you could kick my arse if you really want to."

 

"You're not? Then why are you following me?" I asked, seriously confused as to what he was doing.

 

"Unlike you Yanks, who've forgotten all about manners and etiquette, I happen to remember that it is common courtesy to not let a young woman escort herself home, even though the said woman can indeed take care of herself. It is simply not proper.”

 

I looked at Spike as if he had grown another head.

 

Manners and etiquette? Common courtesy? That was just so old school and totally outdated. And what was with the Giles-talk? It was so weird to hear Spike talk that way, especially since he was wearing his usual punk look with the leather coat. But, at the same time, I found it hot to hear the words roll out of his mouth sounding like that.

 

_Uh-oh! Creepy and sex-minded Buffy is trying to take control again._

I shook my head to get it to start thinking straight again before looking back up at Spike.

 

"So you're not coming with me because you think that I couldn't take care of myself or something as such?"

 

"Are you daft? Of course not! You're the Slayer, probably the best one I've seen in years. I'm not that stupid to think you’re some fragile and innocent little girl."

 

I was shocked, I wasn't sure how to take that statement. I mean, I was happy that he thinks so highly of me but at the same time I was kind of offended that he couldn't see me as a fragile and innocent girl.

 

"I could so be fragile and innocent-" I was about to let him have it, but he didn't let me.

 

"And don't even start taking what I said the wrong way, because it was indeed a compliment. You are strong, pet, and the best. You aren't like most girls. Oh, don't get me wrong, you can be fragile and you are very young and innocent, because of your age, but that's not all you are. You're more than that. You're Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, Champion of the people, the world's Savior, you're Heaven's Chosen One. You're special, pet, so stop comparing yourself to other people and stop wanting to be like them because you are more than that. I think it's high time you started appreciating yourself more."

 

I stared at Spike as I took in what he said.

 

_ You're special... _

 

No one has ever called me that before--well, alright Giles told me that and so did Angel, but they only told me to make me understand the importance of my duties as a Slayer, never in a way that made me feel like I, personally, was a very important person. It made me feel happy and proud of myself.

 

"Thank you," I told him softly.

 

He nodded his head and started walking. I immediately followed closely behind him and watched as he strolled confidently down the empty street.

 

_Ooh, that walk should be illegal! How can he look so sexy just by walking?_

 

I suddenly stopped as felt the now familiar dampness down below.

 

_Dammit! Not again!_

 

I bit my lips and thought about how I could get Spike to just leave me alone, because if the vampire didn't leave right now I was certain that his thoughts about how innocent I was would definitely change after I was through with him.

 

He halted and turned his head to look back at me. "You plan on staying there all night, Slayer?" he asked, thankfully not even noticing my flustered appearance.

 

"Yeah! I'm coming!" I answered, rushing up to catch up to him.

 

As I neared him I realized my mistake, as my senses began to overload at his amazing smell. My body was doing that strange tingly thing again.

 

 _Take him!_ One part of my mind screamed.

 

I shook my head again and tried to clear away such thoughts.

 

_God, what was wrong with me?_

I knew I really should've told Giles by now about these feelings I have been getting when I was around Spike, but I never got to do so because I never found the right moment to open up the topic.

 

 _Yeah, right. You sure it's not 'cause you didn't want him to solve your little Spike-obsession?_ The logical part of my brain asked me.

 

Okay, so maybe I was a bit reluctant to tell anyone about my wanting-to-have-sex-with-Spike problem. But can you really blame me? If people knew, especially Giles and Angel, they'd ban me from seeing Spike until they'd find a reason as to why I was acting and thinking this way.

 

But I didn't want that because I just became friends with the guy! And our friendship wasn't as easily forged as his and Xander's because, for some reason, after our tentative agreement to let his family help with the Slaying business while they were in town, I couldn't help but act like a major bitch when he was around. I mean, even though I really liked him and wanted to sleep with him, I ended up picking fights with him all the time. We'd end up yelling and insulting each other until one or both of us stormed off and left. It was really frustrating because, in the end, I would know that I was the one who caused the fight in the first place and I was the one who needed to apologize. Of course I would apologize the next time we'd bump into each other on patrol, but then I'd start another fight and the cycle would repeat.

 

It wasn’t until the night that Drusilla saved my mom that our relationship changed. I came to their house to thank the vampiress for rescuing my mom, but she’d been with Darla at the time I arrived and Spike warned me not to interrupt Darla during her mommy-moments. So I didn't and instead waited with him outside their home and talked. We’d reached an understanding and promised to try to be more friendly with one another.

 

So yeah, we became friends and no longer verbally fought with each other.

 

Well, except for the rare occasional friendly banter, but that was different.

 

Anyway, we're now friends and I liked it because Xander was right about him. He was indeed different from Angel. Spike actually had a personality and was really fun to hang out with. He always had some kind of funny thing to say about our enemies and would give really useful and less cryptic information about my opponents. He was also smart, like Giles and Willow-smart, so occasionally he'd help Xander and I with our homework when Willow was busy with her witch training and when he had free time and wasn't busy trying to research on a cure for Dru.

 

Aside from that, he was like the best patrol partner a Slayer could ever ask for. He could take care of himself in a fight and always had my back. He was a strong and skilled fighter too, and would sometimes give me pointers during my own battles to improve myself, which was so much better than any of the training I had with Giles at the library.

_Which is a fact that I would never disclose to my Watcher._

 

But more importantly, he just knew me and understood me in a way that no one else did. I could talk to Spike about my problems as a student and as a Slayer, and he'd listen and sometimes gave me advice on what to do. It was really nice, having someone like him as a friend. And that's why I didn't want to tell Giles or anyone about my problems, because I was afraid of losing Spike.

 

"You alright, luv?" he asked, looking at me with those concerned blue eyes that seemed to penetrate my soul.

 

"Yeah, I was just thinking," I told him, though not really devolving into what exactly what I had been thinking.

 

"About your date with my wanker of a Grandsire?" he asked, raising a questioning brow.

 

"How did you---" I looked at him with a surprised look.

 

"Oh, please, did you really think that I wouldn't know? Harris ain't exactly known for his skills in keeping secrets." He smirked.

 

I rolled my eyes.

_Xander. Typical. Why am I not surprise he was the one who told Spike about my date with Angel?_

"Look, it's not what you think," I said, trying to explain to him why I went out with Angel, although why I felt the urge to do so in the first place, I had no idea.

 

"You had a date with your boyfriend. Is there any other way for me to see how that happened?" Spike said with a teasing smile.

 

"No, I was just--You know what? Never mind. You're right. Angel and I are together and we were supposed to go out on a date at the Bronze," I told him.

 

"But that wasn't what happened and it ended up with you walking home all by yourself. Tell me, pet, what exactly did go on?"

 

And, as we continued our walk, I told him everything: from the vamps that attacked me on my way to the Bronze, right until I left Angel with Cordelia, I gave him every pitiful detail of my night right up until I met with him in front of his house.

 

"So the wanker just let you go home alone?" he questioned, trying to clarify the event.

 

"That's all you got out of everything I just said? He let me go home alone?"

 

"Well, that was the only thing I actually found significant in your story. That and the fact he didn't pick you up at your home in the first place, like a real man who goes out on dates with his girl would do, and the fact you two planned your date at the Bronze of all places. I mean, seriously, that place don't exactly scream romantic setting."

 

I was offended.

 

"Angel not picking me up and taking me home, and the Bronze not being a romantic setting for a date? That was the only thing you thought was important in all I told you? What about the vamps who attacked me or the fact I looked so trashed when I came to my date? Or Angel talking to Cordelia? Aren't those things important?"

 

"No, they aren't, luv, and you should know that," he stated.

 

_No, I don't know that!_

My glare intensified, making him take a couple of steps back.

 

"Okay, think about it this way: had Angel picked you up tonight, like a real gentleman would, you wouldn't have had to face those vamps alone, and if you had your date at a more secure and fancier place than the Bronze, you wouldn't have had met those vampires in the first place, then Angel wouldn't have had to talked to this Cordelia-chit, and you wouldn't have had to be walking home all by yourself and getting annoyed by the presence of yours truly. Do you now see my point?"

 

I paused as I processed what he said. I couldn't help but find his argument sound and logical.

 

"Okay, if you put it all that way, I guess it did sort of made sense," I said with a pout. "But then again, knowing my luck, if we did do everything different, something would've still gone wrong."

 

"Aw, pet, you shouldn't think that way. Life's too short of you to start thinking too negatively. Besides, one bad date doesn't mean it's the end of the bloody world."

 

"I know that. It's just that every time I try to do something non-slayer-y, my plans always turn up bad. It's like the universe is trying to tell me that it doesn't want me to be happy or something."

 

"I think you're a little too hung up on this date you didn't get to go on with the great poof. It wasn't even that good of an idea since all you two had planned was to meet up at a club."

 

"Hey, it so was a good idea! The Bronze is like a real popular place where lots of kids hang out!"

 

"Exactly! It's a common place and everyone goes there. You can’t have a good conversation there because it's too crowded and far too noisy. You'd have to be shouting at your date just to hear each other."

 

"Well, I had no choice on the matter! The Bronze was the only place I thought Angel would be comfortable meeting." I crossed my arms and my lower lip stuck out further.

 

"Have you seen the look on his face when he goes to that place? He looks like he's constipated or something. He doesn't like it there, pet. He just goes there because he knows that's where you and your friends hang out."

 

I stopped walking and thought about what he had told me.

 

_Okay, now that I think about it, Angel does look like he's out of place when he hangs with us at the Bronze. How is it I never noticed this?_

"Ugh! I am the worse girlfriend ever!" I stated, hiding my face on my hands. "I took my boyfriend on a date at the one place he's totally uncomfortable in and had the nerve to leave him there because I no longer wanted to go out on a date with him! He must really think I’m evil!"

 

"There, there, luv. Don't think too much about it." He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You had your reasons for leaving. And as for having a date at a place he wasn't comfortable with, well, the idiot should've said something instead of just accepting where you two were going. Or he could've been the one who planned the entire thing so to show that he knew how to care for you."

 

"Angel, couldn't plan our date. He doesn't understand the concept of it. I think it has something to do with him being so old and a vampire and that's why he doesn't understand the custom."

 

"Bullshit," Spike snapped. "I say that the bastard is too lazy to try and to research and find out about how to make women happy. I'm pretty sure he believes that he's god's gift to women and it's why he thinks that the girls are the ones who should work hard to gain his affection. He shouldn't use that excuse because it's a clearly stupid one. I mean, look at me, I'm old and a vampire too, yet at least I know what to do to make a girl feel special. Bring the girl some flowers and chocolates, take her at a fancy restaurant, shower her with compliments. How hard can it be for the wanker to do any one of those things?"

_It must be really hard since he has never done a single one of them._

I didn't speak after that because I didn't really know what else to say. Spike's little insight on Angel's recent behaviors had enlightened me to the major harsh reality of just how terrible of a boyfriend Angel was.

 

He didn't hold hands. He's uncomfortable with kissing me. He didn’t know my likes and dislikes, and I didn’t know his. In fact, we didn’t know anything about each other because we’d never had really spent any time talking. I'm usually the one who has to start the conversations and I do most of the talking. In reality, the only times he has ever really talked to me were when he'd speak to me about my job as the Slayer and how I was doing it.

 

"God, Angel is a really sucky boyfriend!" I said out loud.

 

"You're just realizing that now? I've been telling you that since I found out you two were together," Spike teased.

 

"Shut up, Spike. Can't you see I’m having a crisis here? I just realized that I’m seriously considering breaking up with Angel right now."

 

"Ooh, can I watch when you tear the old poof's unbeating heart out? I am a great fan of drama after all."

 

"This is serious, Spike! I think I want to break up with Angel!"

 

He then snorts at what I said. "Why? Over the fact that he doesn't know how to take you out on a date? That's kind of shallow, don't you think?"

 

"No, it's not just that!" I started pacing as I told Spike all I had come to realize about Angel. "Okay, maybe my reason for wanting to break up with him started from that, but I just realized a lot of things lately about Angel too, and those things are the real reasons why I want to break up with him." I stopped and looked at my companion with a sad expression. "Angel is a stranger to me. I don't know anything about him. What he likes, what he hates, what's his favorite color, or any of the things that should be basic information that is shared between two lovers. Heck, I don't even know his birthday!"

 

"May 16, 1727 was his human date of birth. While he was turned around the 10th of September, year 1753," Spike supplied the answer.

 

"See? I didn't know either one of those things! Angel never told me any of them! In fact, he doesn't tell me anything at all! He hides things from me, like about his entire family being soulled up like himself,f or the fact he was a vampire! Did you know that the first time I found out about him being a vampire was when the two of us had our first real kiss? My lips were on his and he vamped out!" Spike gave out a horrified expression at what I just said. "I know, it's unbelievable but it's the truth! I was so surprised that I almost staked him! But that aside, I just realized that Angel doesn't respect me enough to just be honest with me. He's always thinking that what he's doing is okay because he's trying to protect me by shielding me from the harsh reality of things! I'm a Slayer, dammit! I have seen far too many harsh realities, yet he still thinks of me as a child that deserves to be protected and kept in the dark! What he doesn't know is that I find what he does to me annoying and disrespectful and I--I hate it." I paused and thought of what were my exact feelings for Angel actually were. "I know I love Angel--well, at least I know I am starting to fall in love with him, but can I really love him? Or more specifically should I really love him? Should I really love someone who doesn't respect me enough to make my own decisions? Should I really love someone who lies and doesn't tell me the full truth of things? Should I really love someone who I barely even know? Who is Angel, Spike? Does he even love me like he sometimes says to me? Should I really give my heart to someone that I don't even know for sure that I have his to begin with?" I stared at my companion expectantly and hoping with all hope that he'd give me the answers to my questions.

 

But Spike looked conflicted, like he was debating with himself inwardly on whether he'd answer me or not, and it made me wonder why. I was about to ask him when he suddenly released a heavy sigh before surprising me with his real honest answer.

 

"He does love you, Slayer, this I know for certain," he stated with a resigned expression.

"Then why doesn't he show it to me? Why does he have to be this clueless and emotionless jerk that I have to always make considerations for? He's my boyfriend, he's supposed to be the one working on making me happy! But most of the time I'm the one who has to do everything to make us work! Ugh! It's so frustrating! Why can't he do the things you do?" I pointed at Spike.

 

"Things I do?"

 

"Yeah, you know; like hang out with me, talk to me about things you've done and tell me these really funny jokes that make me laugh, and also compliment me on everything I do! You know he has never once made me feel beautiful! Like ever! I mean, sure, I make him smile in that super-hot and dreamy kind of smile but that's only because I am being kind to him! But when I dress up all fashionable and pretty myself up for him, I don't even get a ‘you look good tonight-statement! He doesn't even notice that I change my hair or something!"

 

"Well, most guys don't really notice those kinds of things, pet," Spike pointed out.

 

"Well, you do! I mean, just the other night when tied my hair in a low pony tail with my bangs falling down to cover one side of my face to hide a bruise, you told me it didn't suit me because I was hiding half of my pretty little face. And when I told you I was hiding the bruise, you said that I should carry my bruises with pride because it is a proof of what an amazing warrior I was and that had survived an attack from five vampires with only one bruise on the face. Angel didn't even notice my hairstyle that night and when he found out about the bruise he practically made me feel bad for having it by saying I should be more careful next time. Do you see now why I am frustrated and angry with him? And why I want to break up with him?"

 

"So break up with the bastard," Spike snapped.

 

"What?"

 

"You said it yourself, he makes you unhappy. He's a cold and an emotionless jerk, and he doesn't know how to treat you well. Why should you spend all your waking hours making the idiot feel comfortable being with you when he isn't making an effort to make you happy?"

 

"But--Angel, we--Do you really think I should break up with him?"

 

"Slayer, whether you break up with him or not is really up to you, pet. You really shouldn't be asking me this question. In fact, I insist you stop talking to me about this because my opinion on the matter will always be biased against Angel…”

 

"Because you hate him?" I finished.

 

He looked at me with that same intense stare that seemed to see through me, before he said his next words.

 

"I'm not bias because I hate Angel. Truthfully I feel sorry for the poor sod. He's had the soul for as long as all three of us, yet he's never been able to utilize it. He's never been able to see pass the guilt because he had to go through all of it alone. He's still learning to be a good guy, and relearning how to be with people, and trust me, that isn't an easy thing to do. I mean, I had to spend a couple of years practicing just to be able to stay in the same room with humans without my demon demanding I eat them. So yeah, I don't hate him."

 

"Then why would you be bias then? Shouldn't you be like telling me that I should be with him or something, if you feel that sorry for him?"

 

"I don't feel so sorry for him that I want to help him keep you, Slayer. Like you said, he's done nothing to deserve it," he said, turning away and going back to walking. "And I'm also too much of a selfish bastard to make that big of a sacrifice for that poof."

 

He mumbled the last part so softly that I almost missed it, and now I was totally confused.

 

_What did he mean that he was selfish? What was he being selfish about? Could it be that it was because of me? Does he want me the way I think he does and because of that he won't really help Angel have me?_

My heart beat faster in my chest as my excitement began to rise.

 

_Did he feel the same way about me as I did about him?_

I wanted to know and I started to ask him, but then fear stopped me. I bit my lip to prevent myself from voicing my questions, because, as much as I wanted to know the answers, I didn't want to ruin what we have just so I can find out about something that I believe I already know about.

 

I already knew the extent of how Spike feels for me. He cares for me just like Xander and Willow do. I am his friend, like all the other Slayers before me. He sees me as someone special and amazing and he aims to make sure that I live longer than my fallen predecessors, and at the same time he wants me to be happy and reach my fullest potential. And I know that that's the limit of his feelings for me, because, as much as he likes to praise my looks, he just doesn't see me enough to be a potential lover or someone he can form a romantic relationship with.

 

_Guess this is one reason to not break up with Angel. He's the closest thing I can get to a Spike in my life._

I sighed heavily as I followed Spike. We continued to walk in silence while I was busy debating with myself. I knew that it was wrong to use Angel that way. I also knew that I wouldn't even be happy with continuing a relationship with him, but I didn’t want to be boyfriendless and dreaming about a man who didn’t see me as anything but a friend.

 

"Just follow what your gut tells you," Spike suddenly stated from beside me, making me looked up to him questioningly. "About whether you or not you break up with Angel. You've got great instincts, Slayer, use them."

 

"You do know that my instincts are only useful in an actual fight against evil, and not for solving my personal problems, right?"

 

"Naw, I don't really think so, pet. I think that if you followed what your gut tells you instead of your head, then your life would be easier."

 

"You mean even more problematic and chaotic. Angel said that I should learn to use my head from time to time and you're telling me the exact opposite of what he wants me to do," I told him while trying to conceal the resentment I was feeling from the implication of Angel's words.

 

_Not only does the asshole not respect me but he actually sometimes sees me as an idiot! Condescending bastard!_

 

"He only says that because he has such a big one in the first place. But that's actually not what I mean, luv. What I mean is that you should follow what your heart tells you. Do the things that makes you happy. Life is short, especially a Slayer's life. So try using it to the fullest and ensure you live without regrets."

 

I was shocked at first about Spoke making fun of Angel and defending me, but I shook it off since Spike and Angel never could be nice to each other and Spike did have a point.

 

_I shouldn't be here wondering about whether or not I should break up with Angel. In fact, I really should break up with the big idiot since he’s been a poophead since the beginning of this relationship. And I also shouldn't let myself be stopped by fear of rejection, I mean, what if Spike doesn't reject me? What if he actually feels the same way I do? And all he's waiting for is for me to make my move on him? What if I'm not the only one with this crazy horny feeling inside and it is actually a shared one between the two of us?_

I shook my head at that last thought.

 

Horny me had to take a side step on this one because I need to focus on the serious stuff before going into the sexy stuff. Spike's advice was currently giving me the courage to actually do what I had been thinking of doing for quite some time now: tell him that I actually like him more than a friend and sometimes find him extremely hot and drool-worthy. It was time to dump Angel and ask Spike out on an actual date.

 

And so I stood straighter and braced myself for my confession, but was stopped when Spike announced: "And we're here." We stopped to stand in front of my house. "Well, Slayer, looks like this is where I drop you off."

 

My eyes widened in realization that I hadn't said anything to him yet, and I really wanted to, so I quickly invited him inside, but he declined, much to my disappointment.

 

"Your mum's inside. I can hear her moving around the house. I highly doubt that I'd be welcome this late of the night."

 

"Of course, she'd welcome you! I mean, she thinks you're Drusilla's brother and you and Dru kind of left an impact on her. She'd definitely want to see you again!"

 

It was a bit of a lie. Mom never really said that she wanted to meet up with Spike, she asked about him once, wanting to know his relationship to Dru, but aside from that, Spike never crossed her mind again. But what he doesn't know wouldn’t hurt him, and I was really serious about the confession thing.

 

"I'd like to meet her again too, pet, but really, I have to get going. I left without informing Great Grandmum, and you how much of a bitch that woman can be when I don't tell her where I’m going. So maybe some other time, yeah?"

 

"Yeah, maybe some other time." I tried to hide my disappointment, really I did. But I guess I'm not that good of an actress because Spike saw right through it.

 

"Aw, don't fret, pet." He raised his hand and tucked my hair on my eyes. "You don't need my help anymore to suss out what to do. Just do what I said and all will be alright. If not, well--ole Spike will be here for you to support you in the end."

 

I giggled at the thought of Spike sitting with me on the couch while painting my nails, a silly chick movie playing on TV, and him giving me advice on how to get over heartbreak.

 

"Yeah, thanks for that, Spike."

 

"Anytime, Buffy," he said backing away before turning to leave. "Goodnight, luv!"

 

"Goodnight, and be careful on the way home!" I told him as he walked away from me.

 

"Now, where's the fun in that?"

 

I laughed and watched him as he disappeared around the corner of the street. I wasn’t as disappointed that I hadn’t been able to gush my feelings to him as I expected I’d be.

 

_There would be a next time. And when that came I'd have already settled things with Angel._

**(O.O)**

 


	19. The Halloween Incident part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys. here's an update! If you noticed that I added several new warnings for this story because well--the warnings are exactly what this chapter has. There is graphic descriptions of violence, and an attempt of rape. The sudden change of ratings was because of all these warnings that was included. This chapter was created to show to us the dark side of Buffy's Slayer side and how hiding her problems about that part of her was not a good thing to do. Hope you guys will still enjoy reading it though, despite how nasty the event for this chapter will bring.
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> Warning: Contains descriptions of Violence and an attempted rape. Non-con contents from here and the next few chapters. So please be warned.
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> Finally, special thanks to All4Spike for beta-ing for this chapter, you made it somewhat better than how I wrote it. And to Sunalso who for personal reasons had to stop beta-ing for me. It was still an honor to have worked with you.

  **Note: _Italized_ words are Buffy's personal/Slayer thoughts.**

 

**(O.O)**

**Slayer**

 

_It was not something I had expected would happen tonight when my vessel had decided to dress in what she thought was the normal attire for a Slayer and waved that annoying plastic stake she brought in that shop the other day. I had thought that she was insulting our Scared Calling by seeing our Job as something of a mere part-time thing. Though her reason to dress up this way was for a noble cause, which was to gain the attention of our mate, it was still insulting. So when it  happened, I had never been so surprised in all my years of existence. In fact, I had not even known it was possible. But it did, and for the first time in a very long time, I’d been given full control over my vessel. I could move her head, stretch her arms and walk using her senses all on my own._

_The next thing I did was search for the human essence of my vessel, and found that she was still inside me, taking my usual place within us, so she was nothing but a whisper in the back of my mind. I then was curious how all of this was possible, even wondered what had caused this sudden exchange in control. But of course, I did not wonder long, for all around me I saw that it was not only I who was involved in this sudden transformation of identity, telling me that magic was the cause of all this chaos._

_I looked around and witnessed the destruction happening around the neighborhood, where my vessel was assigned. The children, whom my vessel was charged to look after, had all turned into beasts of the night and were responsible for the current destructive state of our town. As a Slayer, it was my duty to destroy all the evil around me but my senses do not see them as such. In fact, I did not find them evil at all, despite their monstrous appearances and the evil they were doing. I did not see them as beasts for me to slay. But I was picking up one such beast not too far from where I was._

_I widened the range of my search and immediately found a familiar signature of a prey. I smiled as I dashed towards it. I ran right through the chaos until I had reached the end of the block and found it walking beside the human friends of my vessel. I stopped and smelled the air._

_Ahhh, such a sweet scent._

_I smiled as I realized why the signature was familiar. It was **his** scent. The vampire I had chosen to be my consort or, to be exact, my mate. My smile widened as I realized that at the moment, my vessel no longer had control over my actions or, to be more specific, my inaction. I was currently free to do what I wanted and pleased. And what I wanted was to test my chosen mate's worth and finally consummate our bond._

_And so with eager steps, I ran towards the unsuspecting trio._

**(O.O)**

**Spike**

 

I had no idea how it had come down to this, with me running for my bloody unlife from the Slayer with a magically induced insanity.

 

I mean, really, this night had started off quite nicely. Dru was less barmy than usual and had excused herself from the costume party that she'd have every year on Halloween, stating that the stars wanted me to have fun with the Sunshine and her friends. I had just taken that statement that something bad was gonna happen to the Slayer and her lot tonight and I had to save them. It was just a bonus that I got an out from playing dress-up for this year.

 

Of course, it was just my luck that the something that had happened was more of a danger to myself than to the Slayer and her companions.

 

It had happened so fast that I barely had time to react to any of it. A sudden flash of light appeared in the sky and the next thing I knew everyone had turned into their costumes. I was with Harris and his band of rugrats at the time and the boy suddenly went all G.I. Joe on me and his charges turned into a bunch of monsters. I tried to stop the boy from shooting the little ones who were all now running around causing chaos and destruction in their monster costumes, and nearly caught a bullet for my attempts. It wasn't until Willow arrived in her ghostly appearance that I was able to convince the boy not to kill any of the monsters.

 

The three of us had been on our way to the Watcher's place to ask for his help on fixing the matter when I was suddenly tackled by a very fierce looking Slayer.

 

"Vampire," she said with a growl that I’d had no idea she was capable of making.

 

"Oh no, Buffy’s turned into her costume too!" Red said with panic in her voice.

 

I would have replied to that obvious statement with a snarky remark, but I never got a chance, for the Slayer had launched herself at me yet again.

 

She was fast in her attacks and much stronger than I knew she actually was without the costume. I tried my best to fend her off, or at the very least knock her out, but she was relentless in her assault and kept standing up after each and every blow I'd give her. It wasn't until she had hit one of the demon-turned children that stood in her way that I had realized that I really needed her to leave that place. I had to take her somewhere more secluded to finish this fight of ours, just so no one else would get hurt.

 

"Red! Take the whelp to the Watcher and help the old man find a way to fix this!" I ordered the redheaded girl as I ran away with the Slayer chasing closely behind me.

 

So that is why I was running. I needed to get some distance between the Slayer and the kids turned monsters via their costumes. I kept running and only stopped to check if the crazy bint was still after me. When I was certain she was still there, I ran again.

 

My running led me to the abandoned warehouses by the docks, and it was then that I finally decided to stop and face the Slayer.

 

"Alright, kitten, no more running! The Big Bad's ready to face you now!" I called out, knowing she was hiding somewhere nearby.

 

I heard a noise from behind me and immediately turned to where it came from, thinking it was another attempt to attack me. But when I saw that a cat was the source of the sound, I relaxed.

 

"Bugger off, little one. You don't want to see what happens next when the Slayer and I have our fight," I told the cat. That earned me a simple meow from the creature.

 

I smiled at that before suddenly being hit from behind. The attack was so strong, it was enough to send me flying into the gutter.

 

"Shit," I uttered as I looked up at the angry Slayer.

 

"No more running, vampire," she told me with a smirk that reminded me all too much of my Buffy.

 

"Already said that, luv, if you'd been listening earlier," I told her as I stood up. I shook off the dirt on my clothes before taking up a fighting stance.

 

I stood and watched her warily, studying her body while I waited for her to make her move. I noted every twitch of her muscles and listened to her heartbeat and breathing. It was then that I noticed that the bloody bint was too damned calm and focused. She gave no hint of any form of fear that would usually be found when one faces me. It was unnerving to see a Slayer like this, more so considering she was giving me a disturbingly predatory look that somehow topples my own. But at the same time I could feel my blood rushing in anticipation.

 

Then, within a blink of an eye, she disappeared. I hurriedly looked around and heightened my senses to search for her, but she was nowhere to be seen. But then I felt a familiar tingle at the back of my neck. Instinctively, I stepped to the side to avoid the familiar pointy stake that was aimed at my heart. I grabbed hold of her arm, hoping to disarm her at the same time. But she simply used my grip as her leverage and aimed a powerful kick to my head. The strength of the kick made me reel back in pain.

 

The Slayer wasted no time to let me recover because she attacked me yet again. This time with a combination of kicks and punches that she aimed at my upper body, most of which I barely had time to avoid or counter. She ended her barrage with a swift spin kick sending me, for the second time that night, flying towards the gutter.

 

"Bloody hell," I cursed as I grasped my ribs. "Yup, I can definitely feel a couple of broken ones there," I noted.

 

I looked up at the Slayer, who was standing in all her wondrous glory in front of me, and looking down like I was already part of the dirt in her feet.

 

It annoyed me that she was staring at me in such a way. She was underestimating me, the damned bint!

 

 _"_ Very well, woman. Time to take you seriously," I thought as I lifted my left foot and swept her off her feet.

 

She fell, but gracefully caught herself and immediately stood up. I did the same too, by flipping myself up. Once we were on both our feet, it became my turn to attack her. I aimed a punch at her face which she blocked, but I didn't stop there. I slammed my elbow at the side of her face, making her take a few steps back. I moved forward and continued my assault. I showered her with my own combination of attacks, ranging from punches to kicks. Each and every one of them hit its mark or if not, was able to do a bit of damage on the tough girl, even though she was able to block some of them.

 

We both fought hard, and neither of us showed any sign of weakening. Instead, we both became stronger as the battle progressed. I don't know why that was so for the Slayer but for me, I always loved the thrill of fighting against my supposedly sworn enemies.

 

Everyone knows that I have an obsession with Slayers, I’d wanted to meet one ever since I’d heard about them from Angelus. I was always curious to discover which one of us, was the strongest. This thought had always nagged my fledging mind. At the time, I told myself that if I were ever to meet a Slayer, I would fight her. Fight her and finally find the answer to that question.

 

Of course, when I first met an actual Slayer, I already had a soul and so killing her was no longer my priority. I fought them, yes, but I never took those fights seriously because I always feared hurting them.

 

But tonight was different. This was not a fight to test this Slayer's skills. Nor was it to help her grow stronger. No this was a real battle to the death, between a vampire and the killer of his kind. This young girl-no, woman, this young woman was a real warrior and not a self-conscious and girly little teen who I talked to and fought side by side with on a nightly basis. This was the true hunter of my kind in the flesh. This one had no humanity or morality that held her back. No rules that governed her actions. All this one cared about was the hunt, and at the moment, I was her prey.

 

I knew that I should be afraid and run away from her as far as I could, but that was not what I was feeling at the moment. Instead of fear, my blood was boiling in excitement. I was exhilarated with the concept that I had the opportunity to fight a Slayer behaving this way. A Slayer whose actions were controlled by her instincts to slay a vampire rather than her logic and memories that sees and knows me as a ally because of the soul.

 

I couldn't help the smile from appearing on my face as I waited for the Slayer to make her move.

 

A confused looked then graced the young girl's features.

 

"Why do you smile, vampire?" she asked.

 

"Ain't it obvious, pet? I'm having the time of my life here," I told her but her confusion didn't ebb. Instead she looked even more confused. So I tried explaining further. "I'm smiling because I am happy 'cause I am fighting the real kind of Slayer, and one that is not only skilled and strong but extremely beautiful." The last part I added in a flirtatious way, an action I’d grown accustomed to when dealing with Buffy on a regular basis.

 

A small smile graced her lips, making me think that this Slayer wasn't as governed by her primal instincts as I had assumed she was.

 

"You have fought other Slayers before. I know this from the memories of this vessel."

 

"Vessel, eh? That means Buffy really is still inside there somewhere," I thought as I stared at the Slayer.

 

"You told her that you fought Slayers of the past and even trained them. Is that correct?"

 

"Yeah, I did."

 

"My question then is, why? Why do you seek out my sisters and fight with them? Most vampires would've run the other way after seeing my kind, but not you."

 

"Well, I don't really have an answer to the why part of that question, pet, I just do what pleases me, and if you're still confused about that, then just think that I ain't most vampires. So running for me is just not my thing, luv," I told her with a hint of arrogance in my voice to hide the fact that deep inside I was actually getting anxious. Why the hell is she asking these questions?

 

Her smile grew at that, and I could not help but shiver at the look she was giving me. She looked as if she wanted to devour me whole. Her little pink tongue rolled at her lips, wetting it.

 

Bloody hell! I could feel myself harden at that, while my demon roared at the look alone. It was again calling me to take her. I calmed both my urges and demon down, not wanting to entertain what they wanted at the moment.

 

 _"_ If only it were that simple though, _"_ I said internally.

 

"No, you are most definitely not like other vampires. In fact, I feel that you are more than any of them combined," she stated as she sauntered towards me, all aggression was gone from her demeanor.

 

I tensed as she approached. I was unsure how to react to her sudden change in behavior.

 

Should I attack her? Or should I take a defensive stance? Or maybe I should wait and watch what she was going to do? It was hard to make a decision.

 

She stopped right in front of me and I couldn't help but smell her arousal, which confused me even further.

 

What the bloody hell was going on?!

 

She placed her hand on my chest and rubbed the muscles hidden underneath my clothes. Her hand slid towards my shoulder and began feeling my bicep. She moved even closer until her face was practically hidden underneath the crook of my neck. I felt her scent me.

 

"You smell good, vampire," she said her voice sultry and seductive and I would be lying if the entire thing wasn't turning me on even more.

 

Again, I was busy fighting off my demon's demands so that I didn't notice how she was tilting my neck sideways. It wasn't until she bit hard on my neck over Drusilla's mark, that I realize what she had done.

 

"Fuck!" I cursed as I felt the pain of her bite. I gripped her shoulder to try to get her away from me then stopped because the pain was suddenly replaced by indescribable pleasure.

 

She was drinking my blood. I felt her draw two mouthfuls of it before finally releasing me.

 

"You taste good too," she told me as a little trickle of my own blood rolled down her lips.

 

She used her finger to catch the trickle and placed it back in her mouth, sucking the finger seductively. I gulped as I watched the entire scene and thought how damn hot it was. It was then I realized that I was in trouble.

 

I was already attracted to Buffy before this version of her came to life, but I always held back because one, she was Angelus' girl and I'd rather be dusted than to try and gain the attention of a woman that already belonged to that wanker again, and two, because she was nothing but a child compared to me. If I'd pursued her, then I'd be no better than a perverted old man. Yes, I know that it was not a common thing for one who was born in an era like mine to be against relationships between a child and an adult, but I was no longer that man. I had grown up over the years as a vampire and had learned and respected the customs of modern day society, so hence I had become one who abhors Pedophilia. Besides, the young girl was barely out of her childhood, so she still had a lot of childish innocence, and to taint such innocence was just not something my soul wanted.

 

My demon on the other hand, was a different story. It wanted her. It always had, ever since that night at the Bronze when she and I had danced, it had been rattling inside me to just take the girl and make her mine, to hell with Angelus and the rules of society. It has always been waiting and urging me to just let go. It had been hard at first, controlling it, I mean. Of course, I finally got the hang of it and learned to ignore the taunts it made inside me.

 

But tonight was a different story. My demon seemed to be stronger than usual. Its urging was louder and more powerful than before. It was telling me that it was alright to take the woman in front of me. It was telling me that it was alright because it was what the girl wanted.

 

"Bullshit!" I said out loud as I pushed her away from my neck, where she’d been busy assaulting and licking the bite mark she had given me.

 

"What are you doing?" she asked looking slightly irritated.

 

"I'm stopping you," I told her.

 

"Why?" she asked as she tried to shrug off my hands to return to her ministrations.

 

But I held her firmly away. "No. This is wrong. Buffy wouldn't want this."

 

"Yes, she does," she said with a growl, "She has always wanted you. Always. She's just too cowardly to act on our thoughts." She pushed herself harder while using her hands to pull me closer.

 

"Our? There is no our here. You are not Buffy, you magically insane Slayer! Buffy isn't gonna go around and attempt to do what you plan you do you crazy bitch!" I pushed her harder away from me, before addressing the real Buffy that I knew was still there inside her. "Buffy, I know you're still inside there and I also know that what this being currently controlling you wants is not what you want. So you’d better fight it, Slayer!"

 

"It is no use, vampire, I am in control here. So I suggest you stop resisting and just submit to me," she said as she slowly approached me yet again.

 

"Like hell I will, you crazy bitch!" I told her while taking a swing at her. But once again she blocked my attack by catching my fist with her hand. She crushed my knuckles, and a scream escaped my lips. Then she twisted my hand towards my back and held me in place.

 

"If you continue resisting, then you will end up even more hurt than I intend for you to be." She twisted my arm further back until I heard a familiar popping of my shoulder, indicating that it had been severely dislocated. "So submit now, vampire. End the torment and allow the pleasure to surround us."

 

"Fuck you, bitch!"

 

"You are stubborn, vampire, and though it irritates me, I find it, for some reason, appealing in a mate. It makes you not a bore like the other one. The other soulled vampire was not as special as you, he showed in no way any difference from an average demon who craved chaos and destruction and was insidious in nature and, as I said, he was a real bore. In fact I believe he can bore one to sleep, that one."

 

I tensed, despite the obvious Angel-insult, as I was starting to hate where all this was going, for even though I had stopped listening to her after the word "mate" came out from her lips, I knew exactly what the word was and I also knew the solemn meaning behind it.

 

A mate is a demon's eternal lover. Mating rituals are a demon's version of marriage, only the words "'til death do us part" is taken to the extreme. Once a demon mates, it’s eternal, and if one of them dies, the other would soon follow. This was something serious, and not something that should be taken lightly. If this Slayer wanted me to be her mate, well--I couldn't allow it, because as much as I would love to be mated to someone and share eternity with them, I would not wish that position on Buffy, no matter how happy it would've made me. Buffy was still too young to mate with me. Bloody hell, she was too young to even think about mating.

 

That is why I cannot let this bloody crazy Slayer do what she wants to Buffy's body. It was not right!

 

 _"_ Yes, it is! _"_ the demon within me screamed, but again I shoved that thought away.

 

There was no way was I gonna let this Slayer do what she wanted, so I struggled harder under her hold only to have her crush my hand even further, making me scream again.

 

"Stop struggling, vampire, you can't escape me and you’re beginning to make me angry."

 

"Yeah, well, you haven't exactly been showing me any reasons not to piss you off, bitch." I continued to struggle.

 

But her other arm had already wrapped itself around my midsection, stopping any attempts of mine to get free. "I've already told you, you can't escape me. So stop fighting it and just let go. Let go of your control, vampire." Her hand that held my waist traveled downward towards my bits, releasing them from my jeans and playing with them.

 

I tried to stop her with my one free hand, by attempting to pull the bitch away, but she only held firmly, and squeezed painfully tightly when I tried to do so.

 

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, I didn't say you could touch me," she said squeezing me even more tightly and pulling my already dislocated arm further back.

 

I screamed again as I pulled away from her, then bit back a moan, when she began to loosen her hold and lazily massaged me.

 

This was torture, and I was certain the Slayer bitch knew this. She knew she was pushing the man to its limits and she was trying to unleash the demon. And dammit, it was actually working because my resolve was slowly weakening as her hand was pumping me into completion. The bitch knew that if she brought me to the edge that I'd finally relinquish control to my demon. And it was already beginning, the human part of me was already questioning why I was still fighting it, while my demon was rattling inside, demanding its freedom even more loudly.

 

 _"_ Just give up already! _"_ The demon screamed inside.

 

"That's it, vampire, let go," whispered into my ear, "Become the demon I want to mate with..."

 

 _"_ Mate---Fuck, now that put a damper into things," I thought as I finally remembered why I was fighting in the first place.

 

This crazy Slayer wasn't trying to just get me to have sex with her to scratch an itch, like a particular Slayer I’d  known before. Nope, this one was actually trying to mate with me and in Buffy's body at that! So I renewed my struggling and once again pushed the demon back. My new struggle must've surprised the bitch for she had released her hold on my hand to grab hold of my body, but that only placed her head in the right position behind me, making me both thank god for my height for the first time and allowing me to slam the back of my head onto hers.

 

"Ow!" she said in that oh-so-familiar voice of my real Slayer.

 

But I wasted no time getting distracted by her familiar voice and instead spin kicked the bitch away from me. When that was done, I ran as fast as I could away from the woman, knowing that for once, fighting her was not the most logical thing to do.

 

**(O.O)**

**Slayer**

 

_The vampire resisted me again but not only that, he had actually broken from my hold. And we, the vessel and I, were both so proud of him, but for different reasons. As for the vessel who had been feeling hopelessness inside me and who had earlier been screaming at me to stop, she was proud of the vampire for having resisted and for protecting her even at his own expense. I was proud of him because what he did only served to prove what a worthy mate he was._

_But the running away from me part was something I had not expected, making me finally see that he truly was not exactly willing to do the mating with me as I had expected._

No, shit, Sherlock! _The vessel's voice said to me_. Do you really think that Spike wants us that way? He only sees me as a friend, dammit, and you are ruining that by trying to force him to have sex with you--er, me--no, us! You're forcing him to have sex with us! So, yeah, of course he'd run!

 

_I tried to consider the vessel's words and weighed the truth in them. The possibility of that was high but the same could be said for their falsehood. But such things didn't really matter to me. Whether or not the human part of the vampire may view the vessel and I in such a way, was not really important, for I only needed the vampire's demon's consent to complete the mating._

_That was why it had been so important to get the demon to come forth before. Now I may have to do it all over again. I closed my eyes and concentrated in search of the vampire. It took a while to locate him, but I succeeded nonetheless._

_So with a smile on my face, I ran off to find my mate and finish what I had started._

 

**(O.O)**

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it. Thanks for reading, and I hope you weren't too scarred by this chapter. It may look badand so ill the next few chapters but I had a reason for putting this chapter up. As I said it was to show the darkness of Buffy's Slayer side, and also to emphasize the importance of her humanity. I wanted to get out there in this chapter that the essence of the demon, the source of her power, isn't as for good as was shown in the show. A demon in Buffyverse is not all evil, as we have seen many times, but it is not good either. Buffy having one meant this yet it wasn't shown much in the show. That is why I made this chapter the other ones after this. I wanted to show something that was not very much emphasized in the show. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you will share your minds about this chapter. Good or bad, reviews fuel my muse! Again, thanks for reading and I hope to see you in the next chapter!


	20. The Halloween Incident part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Another chapter update for this fic. Warning though to all those who are sensitive to this chapter's non-con theme. If it is too much for you then I advice you to not to read this chapter and simply wait for the next one or the one after that to come out. This is one of the darker part of this fic and I truly wish it didn't happened this way but it was necessary to bridge it for the plot of the story to commence. Do not worry though if you don't read it because its contents makes you uncomfortable, nothing special but the actual non-con deed shall happen in this chapter so you won't actually miss much, and what you do miss will still be address in the future chapters of this story. For those who will read it though, thank you and I hope you will continue to support this fic after reading it.
> 
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> Anyway, before I shall leave you to continue with the fic, special thanks to my newest Beta Spuffy516 for helping me with this chapter and for agreeing in to taking up this fic. It was very kind of you and I totally appreciate it!! 
> 
>  
> 
> So without further delay, enjoy reading!

**Note: _Italics_ are Buffy's personal/Slayer thoughts.**

 

 

**(O.O)**

**Spike**

 

"Fuck!" I cursed as I fixed my shoulder on my own.

 

It hurt, but I pushed thru the pain. I had to put my shoulder back in place so I could at least move my arm a bit. My left hand, however… that I knew was a lost cause until I got some blood in me.  I looked down at the offending hand and saw how it had darkened in most areas, not to mention I was unable to extend my fingers without causing myself too much pain.

 

Damn Slayer bitch- she really did a number on me. For her, it was either pain or submission- which if you think about it--it sounded an awful lot like how us demons would do it.

 

I chuckled at the fact that the real embodiment of a Slayer was behaving more as a demon than as a warrior for good (as most books say they are).

 

Damn, if only the Watcher could hear me now, he'd have a fit at the mere concept. The self-righteous bastard would say that the Slayer wasn't actually his Slayer, rather, a vampire disguised as her. Yea, he'd even start a long discourse on what the Slayer’s true nature was.

 

I chuckled at the image my mind conjured- the Watcher attempting to educate the aggressive creature I met earlier.

 

"Yeah, that conversation would really go a long way," I said as I tried to use one hand to tuck in my bits back into my jeans- happy that the Slayer hadn't ripped them off earlier.

 

After that I decided to finally move again and make my way to the Watcher's flat so I could help the bloody wankers in breaking the spell that was making Buffy be, well… not Buffy.

 

I winced at the thought of what had transpired moments ago. "God, Buffy was inside there somewhere while the Slayer was doing all those things to me. The moment this spell breaks and all her memories come flooding back to her, the stupid bint will be rolling in shame."

 

This made me hope with all hope that Buffy didn't remember anything by the end of this spell because I did not want her to hate herself after everything. Nor did I want her to feel the pain I know I would inadvertently cause.

 

I was so caught up in my inner musings that I had almost failed to notice the familiar Slayer signature coming from the building above me. Luckily I did, enabling me to avoid that powerful drop kick she attempted to deliver as she plummeted toward the earth. Once the Slayer landed she immediately stood and faced me.

 

"I found you, _vampire_ ," she said with a smirk.

 

"I'd congratulate you, pet, but I’m not exactly happy about that fact."

 

"You should have never run," she growled.

 

"And you should’ve never tried to mate with me using Buffy's body." I took a fighting stance and readied myself for an attack.

 

"I did so because she wanted it," she told me, her confession taking me by surprise.

 

"Buffy, wanted to mate with me?" I asked,  looking at her incredulously.

 

She nodded and smiled, more than likely amused by the expression on my face. "Yes, we _both_ have."

 

Alright… this is just too much. And _very_ confusing! I mean, why would Buffy want to mate with me? She's with the grand poof, after all.

 

Although, she did mention she wanted to end their relationship.

 

But that was days ago, why had she not done it yet?

 

I was so involved in my thoughts that I failed to notice my enemy using my distraction to her advantage until it was too late. She bombarded me with a series of punches that I just barely blocked before ending her onslaught with a kick to my chest- sending me flying to the alley’s furthermost wall. I fell face down on the pavement, coughing up blood.

 

"Bloody hell… there goes another broken rib."

 

I grunted as I tried to lift my body only to be met by the resistance supplied by the crazy Slayer's foot on my back, pushing me to the dirty and holding me in place.

 

"No more running, vampire," she told me.

 

"'S'not like I have a choice now, do I, pet?" I replied, turning my head to the side just enough to glare back at her.

 

"No, I suppose you don't," she said, smiling wickedly and reminding me that this really wasn't the Buffy I knew and cared so very deeply for.

 

She crouched low, replacing her foot with her hand and stared down at me with a deceptive smile. "Are you ready for round two, vampire?" she asked seductively, her tone of voice making me shiver yet again.

 

"Again, don't really have a choice on the matter, _Slayer_ ," I spat.

 

"Oh, but you do have a choice. I gave it to you earlier, remember?"

 

I paused and thought about when she gave me this choice she spoke of and could not- for the unlife of me- remember what it was or when she had given it, for that matter. As if sensing my inability to remember she provided me with the answer.

 

"The choices were pain or submission. Do you remember now?" she whispered it to my ear. Then she surprised me as she flipped me on my back before straddling my hips and pinning both my arms to the side of my head.

 

Bloody hell, if this was any other time and Buffy was herself and I wasn't being forced to release my demon to mate with someone, then this position would be a really big turn on for me.

 

Well, actually… even with all of the things happening at the moment, I was still getting pretty turned on.

 

"Damn my perverted human mind!" I cursed internally. I tried to think of things that would stop myself from growing hard but no image I could conjure seemed to have the effect I hoped for.

 

Meanwhile the Slayer was smiling above me, making me believe that she knew what I was doing and that I seemed to be failing at it. She then began rubbing herself on my slowly enlarging bulge with clear purpose. I hissed at the sensational friction it caused and again I had to calm my raging demon. I growled as I struggled to free my hands to get the Slayer off me but her hold was strong and instead of bucking her off as was my intention, she used the efforts I made to her advantage… rubbing herself against me as I writhed beneath her.

 

I had to hold back another moan when she dipped her head and bit the already healing bite mark she left on my neck earlier. Her bite wasn't too hard, but it was enough re-open the wound enough for it to start bleeding again. She took one long gulp of my blood and I was once again lost in the pleasurable sensation.

 

At that moment, I cursed my sire's soulless days and countless teachings. She was the one who showed me to enjoy being bitten during sex and her teachings were backfiring at me at the moment.

 

I was really so close to losing it.

 

"Please, don't do this!" I used my last ounce of self-restraint to appeal to the Buffy I knew still lay within the Slayer. My control was slipping.

 

But my pleas fell on deaf ears as neither Buffy nor her Slayer self heeded me. Instead, she nuzzled and nibbled at my neck, flooding me with a new wave of wondrous sensation and pleasure.

 

"Yes, that's it. Let go... just let go, vampire... Show it to me... Show me the demon... Come forth, my mate!" She bit me again, this time on the other side and that was the last thing I remembered before everything went black...

 

**(O.O)**

**Slayer**

 

_A terrifying roar came from beneath me and I realized that I had finally succeeded in unleashing the vampire attempting to hide behind the mask of a man. I released my hold on its hands and stood back to look down at the magnificent beast._

_The rough ridges on his forehead and nose were his, most appealing features to me. His fangs were long and sharp and his eyes were the most beautiful shade of amber I had ever seen._

_Yes, this was it. This was my **mate**._

_"Claim me!" I ordered the beast and before I knew it I was slammed against the floor._

_My clothes were shredded to pieces before I felt the beast exploring every inch of my body. It rubbed, massaged and pinched my vessel’s tender skin and I found no fault in its well executed ministrations. It mirrored my actions from earlier as it nuzzled my throat, scenting me in the processes._

"Mine," _it growled as its teeth grazed my neck._

_"Yes! I am yours as you are mine!" I told it, "Now hurry up and claim me, beast!"_

_With another growl, it ripped my jeans and undergarments from me, leaving me open and exposed to the cool night air. I looked up at my almost mate and smiled as I saw that he too was trying to release himself from the confines of his jeans._

_I reached down and ripped them open for him, earning a fanged grin from my beast._

_Alas, it was ready as myself. I could hear my vessel cry inside of me but I cared not for what she wanted at the moment. This was what I had been wanting for a long, long time- ever since I was forced to enter the body of a vessel many millenniums ago. I had wanted nothing for myself but a mate to share eternity with. That was all! And I continued to wish for it while allowing the shadow men to use my powers and me as the weapon they so desired. Now, I was finally getting my wish and I refused to back down for a little girl._

_It positioned itself at my entrance and I braced myself for the pain. It looked down on me, as though asking permission, still recognizing my superiority even in this state. I nodded my consent and it buried itself within me without further notice._

_I screamed as I felt my vessel's inner walls tearing, but the pain was only temporary and once the demon began to move I felt the pleasure coursing through me. The demon knew exactly where to hit within me to intensify my pleasure and I wasted little time in meeting each of its thrusts with one of my own._

_"Yes, yes, yes!" I screamed in wanton pleasure. "I'm almost there!" I informed it._

_I snaked my arms around it and pulled it closer to myself. I positioned my mouth on its neck and it did the same to me._

_"Together," I gasped before once again biting down on its skin until I tasted blood. It bit mine in return and, like me, drew a few mouthfuls of my blood._

_I was the first to let go, ready to scream the word "mine" and complete the bond when a suddenly flash of lighting illuminated the night sky._

_"Noooo!", I cried as I was suddenly pulled back to the confines of my prison within my vessel before I was able to compete the ritual. A tear escaped me as I realized that once again I was being denied what was mine._

****

**(O.O)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was it! Hopefully I will update sooner and give you the aftermath on what happens next. Thanks for reading and please, as always, reviews will really be appreciated. I thrive on them and they power my muse so tell me what you liked, didn't like, and of course other opinions you wish to share. Thanks again and I truly hope to see you again in the next chapter. Bye for now!


	21. Incident's Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
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> Chapter Notes:  
> 
> 
> Hi everyone!! Happy that I have another update to share with you all, saddened because this could be the my last update for this fic for a long while because once again I lost my beta... I shall not delve further on what happen this time, but just know that she did an amazing job on this chapter and I just wish to thank her for it! So thank you!! I truly appreciate and understand your decisions! Thank you! Anyway, fear not my lovely readers, I shall try and find a new one as fast as I can. But I am open to other suggestions if you have anyone who would be willing to take on this fic for me!! Thanks for all the support so far and hope you will continue supporting!
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> Well, enough of the drama, time for the real story to begin. Buffy and Spike now waking up in the aftermath of the spell. Hope it isn't too sad for you, but if it is, well give me a review!!! 
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> Special thanks to my beta [Spuffy156](http://dark-solace.org/elysian/viewuser.php?uid=16100) for here endurance and support for in helping me with this chapter... Thank you so much!!

 

 

**(O.O)**

**Buffy**

 

The first feeling I felt upon finally regaining control of my body was pain. Pain between my thighs…  pain at my neck. I tried to move but noticed that I couldn't do so freely, thanks to the weight above me. Its growl and its repetition of the word "mine" helped to remind me of all that had happened.

 

Dressing up as a Slayer to get Spike's attention, that strange Light in the sky and that strange presence inside me- which, I determined was my Slayer side- suddenly taking control of my body and using it to hunt down and hurt Spike.  And that was just before pushing him to the point where he lost control of his demon and right thru the part where said demon and her had nasty, rough sex… not to mention the biting and failed claim thingy.

 

I remembered everything anymore sick with myself than I was at this very moment. But before I could barf up my dinner, I had to get this feral version of Spike off of me first.

 

"Spike, stop. It's me now! I'm back!" I tried telling him while I concentrated my strength on moving his head away from my neck.

 

But the movement only seemed to aggravate the beast and it bit me harder, multiplying the pain tenfold, as it sped up the movement of its hips and began hitting every pleasure point inside me.

 

I screamed.  Whether it was from pleasure or pain, I wasn’t quite sure. But what I did know was that the confusion made me struggle even more.

 

"Stop, Spike! Please!" I cried, but my plea fell on deaf ears. The demon was in full control and what remained of the man I knew inside the vampire was gone- and knowing this just made the tears keep coming.

 

_I don't want this!_ I thought helplessly.

 

This wasn't how I imagined my first time would be. Heck, this wasn't even close to what I wanted when I thought about how Spike and I would come together! I wanted everything to be gentle and caring- I wanted to feel _loved_.

 

But, this?

 

This was just cruel… brutal… animalistic even.  Just plain, meaningless sex! This was just all wrong!

 

_Claim him back!_ The voice inside my head told me.  But I shook it off. This was all her fault! She made this happen!

 

_Damn you! Damn you! Damn you! You did this to me! You did this to Spike! If I ever find a way to get you out of me, I will **kill** you! _ I told it, as red hot tears streamed down my cheeks.

 

"Please stop, Spike! Please!" I begged harder, hoping with everything in me that the vampire I knew would re-emerge, but my cries remained unheard, yet again.

 

So I struggled and struggled to break free, to push the monster off me, but the demon merely held me tighter. I was powerless against it in this position, and the fact that it was draining me just added to my helplessness. I knew that if I didn't get it to stop, I was going to die.

 

"God! Spike, please! I don't want this..." I said the last part in a small whimper, all the fight in me escaping.

 

Then I felt the beast come to a sudden stop, its body tensing above me. I felt it retract its fangs from my neck and slowly lift its head to face me.

 

"Buffy?"

 

_That voice!_

 

I looked up and saw him shed his demonic visage.

 

"Spike, is it really you?!" I asked with relief, laced with uncertainty. I was afraid that maybe I was mistaken but one look into his oceanic blue eyes and I knew the answer to my question.

 

It was him!

 

I moved my hand to touch his cheek as new set of tears began to fall.

 

_He's back! My Spike is back! Everything's alright now!_

 

"Buffy, I--" he started, only to suddenly stop himself. A horrified look crossed his handsome face as he looked down to see the position we found ourselves in.

 

"Oh God, no!" he cried as he pulled himself off of me and began backing away.

 

I tried to ignore the sudden feeling of loss inside me to focus on the distraught vampire.

 

"Spike--" I called to him and moved forward to comfort him. I needed him to know that it was alright. That _we_ were alright.

 

"Don't touch me! Just stay away from me!" he yelled and moved further away from me until he backed into one of the alley’s walls.

 

"Oh, God! Oh, God! What have I done?!" He was muttering to himself and crying, clutching at his hair as his body shook heavily.

 

_What have I done?!_ I thought as I stared in horror at the broken man before me. _I did this to him! I made him lose control of himself. I forced myself on him... I did this... I did this..._

I hugged myself but that provided little comfort as the horrible realization that everything was indeed _not_ alright came crashing down on me.

 

**(O.O)**

**Spike**

 

"I hurt the girl..."

 

Those were the words that kept replaying in my mind. I lost control of my demon and I hurt Buffy. I can't even remember how it happened, all I know is that somehow I was overpowered by my demons desire. It assaulted her and now...

 

For the first time since I realized what I had done, I looked at the young girl and took in her state. There was blood trickling down her neck from where I’d bitten her, her clothes were ruined, her hair was in disarray and she was sobbing and shaking as she hugged herself.

 

"I broke her."

 

I did this to the powerful warrior I was beginning to fall for. I took away her innocence and drank her blood… forced her to be mine. I tried to mate with her! To bind her to me forever- to take away her _freedom_.

 

I’m a monster for doing these things and Buffy has every right to cry… every right to be angry and hate me just as much as I hate myself right now.

 

In the moment I came back to myself, I realized my soul wasn't at all useful at keeping the demon at bay. My soul, it seemed, was pretty _worthless_.

 

It didn’t help me fight against the darkness of my demon… it didn’t come forth when I needed it most to stop me before I could hurt her.  It failed at helping me to protect her from myself.  It simply sat back and watched the debauchery as it occurred.

 

"Fucking useless thing!" I called it internally.

 

I couldn’t help but stare wide eyed at Buffy, wanting nothing more than anything to hold her in my arms and comfort her… beg for her forgiveness. But I didn't.

 

I _couldn’t_.

 

I was too afraid that I would hurt her even more. I’d been so focused on the aftermath of I’d done that I hardly noticed the arrival of the Slayer's friends- their voices vibrating through the air, Red’s calling for us at the forefront.

 

I noticed Buffy tense and was again reminded of my crime. I looked away from her in shame but not before I draped my coat over her.

 

"Wear that. It's big enough to cover you," I told her, my voice hoarse with either emotion or the evidence of my prior exertion.

 

I heard the rustling of its leathered fabric, indicating Buffy had managed to cover up, just in time for the arrival of her companions.

 

"We're here!" Buffy's voice called out, just as they turned into the alley.

 

"Buffy! Spike!" the red head called out enthusiastically, only to stop in her tracks, a horrified look on her face.

 

Now, I was the one who tensed, because I was sure of what would happen next.  These humans, who I had begun to sincerely care for during my short time in this town, were about to see me for the monster I really was.  They would surely reject me and hate me and curse my name the moment they realized what I’d done to their Slayer.

 

Their hate.

 

I didn’t want it, but I knew I deserved it.

 

I let out a resigned sigh and awaited punishment for my misdeeds.,. I could only hope Harris would make it quick .

 

"Oh, my God! Spike! Are you alright?" Harris asked, "You look like you fought off a hoard of demons!"

 

Needless to say, I was surprised- far from expecting them to look on at me with concern. Taking a moment to glance at myself, I noticed just how disheveled I appeared.  My shirt was ruined, part of one sleeve torn off and most of its buttons were gone, which did nothing to hide the nasty bruises and scratches marring my chest… the bite mark on my neck. My hand was very obviously broken, blood dripping from an open gash it’s acquired, and if the way my face felt was any indicator of how beaten up it was, there was no doubting the bruise I had forming on across my jaw.  I could even feel blood caked at the corner of my mouth.

 

I their concern was heartfelt and I had trouble comprehending it, regardless of my state. They shouldn't be giving me those looks—especially after what I’d done… they should be giving them to Buffy- who remained silent throughout the exchange.

 

"So… how is everyone? I'm guessing you were able to fix whatever it was that caused the whole costume switching fiasco?" she finally spoke, asking the question a bit too perky for someone who’d just lived an experience like she just had.

 

"Oh! Yeah, we did! I mean, Giles and Willow here did most of the work.  But yeah, they figured it out and broke the spell and now everyone affected by the switch-a-roo are all un-switched". Harris explained. The boy gave a recount of the nights events with a few interjections from his red haired companion before finally asking about what happened to us.

 

Just before my shame won out and my conscience confessed my sins for me, the Slayer cut me off- telling her friends about how we fought and lied, saying that she nearly killed me. Explaining how she was responsible for all of my injuries and skimming right over the part where I lost control of my demon  injuries.  It was like the little girl was protecting me.

 

And I hated her for it.

 

Why was she defending me? After what I’d done to her? She should just take that stake of hers and dust me where I stand. But instead she was making sure that her friends were none the wiser to my to my crimes.  And if it were possible, that just added to the insane level of guilt and anger I already felt I felt, because I was allowing it.

 

"Spike, how 'bout we get you back to Giles' place so we can take care of those boo-boos". Harris’ voice snapped me out of my musings and I watched him cringe- slowly turning to his friends he asked, “I just used the word ‘boo-boos’ in a sentence, didn’t I?”

 

"No need for that. I just want to go home… check on Dru and the others," I replied nonchalantly.

 

"Oh! That's right! They could've also been affected by the spell! Darla and Dru bought their costumes at Ethan's place, didn't they?" Willow said.

 

I simply grunted my reply despite my limited understanding of what she meant about Dru and Darla purchasing heir costumes from the same shop. Anything to keep me from having to talk to them longer than I already had.

 

I just wanted to leave. To get as far away as I could from this dank alley and the girl I violated in it. Slowly, I moved from the wall I was leaning against and began making my way toward… anywhere but there.

 

Harris, seeing how I was having a hard time collecting myself, moved closer to help.

 

"No!" I shouted at the boy, surprising him with my outburst. I immediately changed the tone of my voice, forcing it to sound kinder. "It won't be necessary, whelp. I can get myself home on my own, but thatnk you. Just take care of the Slayer and make sure she gets home safe. She's far more hurt than she appears to be."

 

Not awaiting a reply or any form of objection to what I said, I took in a deep, unnecessary breath, before sprinting out of the alley- leaving the Slayer and her friends to alone to decide my fate.

 

I knew it was the cowardly thing to do… running away like that. But at the time, I could hardly say I cared.   Nor did I care that I was further aggravating my broken ribs, as long as I could get away from that place and hide from the world, and maybe… with a little luck… hide from what I’d done.

 

I wanted to just forget everything; forget how I hurt the girl, forget how much I wanted her underneath me again.  Forget how even now I couldn’t help but want to feel myself buried deep inside her… forget the taste of her blood on my lips. And especially forget that after more than a century of waiting, I’d been so close to having thing I most desired in the whole world; an eternal companion.

 

When I finally made it home I paid little attention to Darla’s ranting and raving; asking me what had caused the change they underwent during their party and I didn’t care about how worried Dru looked when walked thru the door. I simply came home and went directly to the sanctuary of my own room to wallow in misery at everything I’d done.

 

**(O.O)**

**Buffy**

 

_He left._

 

And I can’t bring myself to believe it.

 

_He left and didn’t even care to look at me._

 

I knew I was the one at fault, but it still hurt that he hadn’t even bothered to look my way before he’d gone.

 

_Did he really hate me so much now, that he couldn't even stand to look at me anymore?_

 

Well, after seeing the extent of what I’d done to him, I guess he did have a reason to be angry.

 

And again I felt that pang on my chest. The sudden strike of pain inside my heart.

 

When Xander pointed out Spike’s injuries, I was forced to realize the extent of my crimes against Spike; how badly I’d actually hurt him and how much I deserved to be punished for what I did.

 

Yet, when they asked what happened, I couldn't find it in me to tell them what I’d done. And I especially didnt I let Spike tell them. I kept cutting him off when I sensed he was about to speak and only told them that I’d hurt him, but not really _how_ I had. I saw the confused and surprised look on Spike's face when I told the censored version of what ocurred, but I ignored it and continued speaking to my friends in the perkiest-Buffy tone I could muster to keep them from asking any more questions.

 

So, now that I really think about it, him leaving really shouldn't be all that surprising. In fact, I should've expected it.

 

_But that doesn't make it hurt any less._

 

I felt hot tears building up in my eyes and I knew that I had to get out of there before they began to fall.  I couldn’t plant that seed of suspicion in my friends.

 

"Um—guys? I'm really tired and I _really_ want to go home now. Being Slayerfied-Buffy? _So_ has its downsides! " I told them, still managing to maintain my perky persona.

 

This seemed to do the trick because Xander immediately said that he wanted to escort me home. I wanted to say no but was too tired to argue with him over it, so I let him come with me and Willow made her way back to Giles’.

 

Once Xander dropped me off at home, I took a long hot shower- wishing the water could wash away the things I was now so ashamed of.  When I finally I laid down to rest, I found my mind unable to shut down.  Scenes from the night played over and over again in my head… all the badness… all the sadness.  

 

And despite said badness and sadness, I was so ashamed and disgusted to admit that I still enjoyed some of it.  Even now I couldn’t erase form my memory the feeling of his body against my own… his mouth on my lips… how perfectly he seemed to fill me up and make me whole.  I wanted more, but without my Slayer being in control.

 

I shook my head to clear my dirty mind, shower notwithstanding.

 

_What kind of girl I am? To think about the man I’d just assaulted in such a way?_ I thought angrily.

 

_A very naughty one!_ The Slayer inside me sneered.

 

I stared at the ceiling, hating the fact that somehow she was still able to speak to me, her voice much louder than it’d been in the past. But what I hated most was that I knew she was right.

 

I _was_ a naughty girl.

 

_Evil_ even. For everything I’d done. For thinking the way I thought.

 

I wasn’t a good person.. how could I be? With something like that Slayer residing inside me?

 

_We simply wish, for once, to be selfish and get what is rightfully ours._ I heard her whisper inside my head.

 

_What is rightfully ours? What the hell does that even mean?_

 

I hated that it was giving me these cryptic messages. I hated that I wanted to believe her words. And most of all I hated that I was slowly agreeing with her, even though I couldn’t understand why.

 

_God, I am sick!_

 

This Slayer talking to me? This desire to make Spike mine? I didn’t want either of them but somehow, someway, needed them both. It was frustrating!  Confusing! Having two different sides warring within me and I’d long forgotten which side I was fighting for.

 

I needed help, but I had no one to turn to.

 

Giles would probably be just as horrified as me if I told him what I’d done. In fact, he'd probably give me his best ‘disappointed’ look.  

 

And Angel--God, Angel! I haven't even properly broken up with him yet! I haven't told him about wanting to end our relationship to start a new one with his Grandchild and if I do tell him, he'll probably blame Spike for everything. He never listens to me and he'll  try to stake Spike!

 

He can be a big jerk that way, so there was no way I ‘m telling him.

 

Willow and Xander were a big no-no too. Willow would support me, I knew, but she'd also say that I was under the influence of a spell or something of the sort. Then she'd probably blame Spike too since I’m all ‘faultless Buffy, the vampire slayer… helper of the helpless’.

 

And Xander? Well--he's Spike's friend but he's mine too. He'd be torn over who to side with, because either way, he'd lose one of us. I couldn't do that to him.

 

As for telling my mom? Well, she doesn't know about me being the Slayer or about Spike being a vampire, so she wouldn’t understand a thing and she certainly wouldn’t be able to give me any useful advice.

 

I was stuck.

 

I had no one to turn to and ask about my problems. It was a horrible thing to realize- that I was alone in facing this horrible dilemma- because no one in my life would understand what I was going through. And at the same time I couldn’t help but be sad because I knew the only person I could safely talk to about this was terrified of me because he was the one I hurt.

 

That was when I realized just how big my losses actually were. Not only had I lost a friend tonight, but I lost someone who understood me better than anyone else ever had.

 

"Ohh, Spike. I’m so, _so_ sorry..." I whispered as I hugged Mr. Gordo tightly in my arms.  The tears of frustration and anger that I’d been holding back finally spilled over my cheeks as I drifted off into a restless sleep.

 

**(O.O)**  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter End Notes:  
> 
> 
> Well, that's all and thanks for reading. Please leave a review, it makes my day and would truly inspire me to continue despite my little beta problem...


	22. A Talk Between Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Notes:  
> After being absent for so long, I am finally back with writing this fic! I have found my self a very talented beta who goes by the name of Whisperrr. With her help I was finally able to finish and post this chapter! Anyway, now that I have her for my beta, I think I can finally start updating this fic regularly and perhaps actually finish it! hehehe... Seriously, I am happy.. And I hope you guys, my lovely readers, continue supporting this story. 
> 
> For this chapter we will see Willow being a good friend to Buffy and actually help our heroine get her act together. I really love writing in Willow's POV, her character during this season had so much potential and also I loved how she acted like a real true friend to Buffy. I always hated that in the later seasons in the show how her character slowly lost her closeness to our favorite Slayer and how they gave her too much power and independence that slowly got to her head which caused her to do evil stuff. And although I know she changed into someone better but she still lost her closeness to her friend and would even sometimes still doubt her. Only in the latest version of the comics do we see Willow become Buffy's best friend again, and I think it's a little too long for my taste. My hope is to change that with this fic and give Buffy and her a chance to remain close despite the changes Willow is undergoing. 
> 
> Anyway, not gonna hold you with me any longer with my ranting, so I shall now leave the stage and let you continue your reading.. Enjoy and please leave a review at the end of the chapter!

 

**Note: _Italics_ are Buffy's personal/Slayer thoughts.**

 

**(O.O)**

**Willow**

 

Something had happened between Buffy and Spike, a week ago on Halloween, and I was certain that it wasn't just about what happened when that Ethan guy did that spell to make everyone turn into their costumes.

 

I knew that it was a pretty bold accusation and I technically didn’t have any hard evidence to prove it but I did have three viable reasons that could make one believe that this was true.

 

**Reason number one: _Buffy never talked to us about what had happened that night._**

 

Oh, don't get me wrong, she told us what had happened, but not all the details of it. I mean, she simply said that she was turned into her costume and attacked Spike. But that's all. No explanation of how the fight went, or who won, or why they both wouldn’t look at each other when we found them after the spell was broken.

 

Usually, I would've thought that Buffy was simply tired and didn't want to talk about the event just yet, because it had annoyed her or something like that, but I always knew that eventually she'd crack and she'd end up mentioning something about it.

 

But that wasn't the case this time around because Buffy just didn't want to remember the entire thing altogether and was trying her best to bury the event in the back of her mind. She'd even make sure to divert any conversations that involved stuff that would be a reminder of it, which was suspicious as it was already.

 

**Reason number two: _Spike was avoiding Buffy and Buffy was avoiding Spike._**

Now, if this had happened a few months ago when Spike and his family first came to town, I'd have said that this was a good thing because during those past few months these two just couldn't stay in the same vicinity together for the simple reason that they couldn’t seem to stay civil with one another for very long. It had seemed impossible for them to work together because they appeared to hate each other very much. In fact, the verbal arguments sometimes got bad to the extent that one or both of them would lash out physically and it would sometimes became an actual fight with fists involved that either Giles or Angel had to break up.

 

But that all changed the night Drusilla saved Buffy's mom. Apparently Spike and Buffy had reached an understanding that night and promised to be nicer to each other. So things between them after that started to change and those two became almost as inseparable as Buffy, Xander and I.

 

After that night, Spike became a constant figure in the team. If he wasn't busy finding a cure for Drusilla, he was at the library or at the Bronze hanging out with us, sometimes he'd even go join Buffy for patrol or help Giles train her. It was like having another Scooby, only this one was a vampire who was a hundred times cooler than Angel, and Buffy agreed with this assessment. In fact, she was the one who usually said it too.

 

But then that night on Halloween happened and the inseparable duo became, well—separable. They haven't been seen together since that night. This was something that was not supposed to be so unusual. As I said, Spike, if he wasn’t hanging out with the Scoobies, usually spent most of his time trying to find a cute for Dru. So him not being seen with us was occasionally an usual occurrence. But then Xander let out an offhanded comment a couple of days ago about not seeing Spike since Halloween and that's when I became suspicious.

                                                                                                                                    

Believe it or not, my childhood friend and the strange souled vampire had actually become really close friends. And if I really thought about it, they seemed much closer than Xander and I had ever been, and though I really tried not to sound too bitter about it, I couldn’t help but feel jealous of their relationship.

 

Of course, it was not like I didn’t share a similar relationship with Buffy, but we were girls so it was expected of us to be that close. Xander and Spike though--well, it just wigged me and I sometimes didn’t like it. But I was happy for Xander because he finally had someone who he could talk to and hang out with like he did with Jess and--Oh, I started babbling again, and totally strayed from my original train of thought.

 

So, anyway, going back, if Buffy and Spike were the inseparable duo, then Xander and Spike were practically glued at the hip. Those two hung out together even though there was no world ending reason for them to do so. After class and even on the weekend, Xander went to see Spike at his place and spend time with him, and sometimes Spike did the same thing. There wasn’t a day those two would not see each other, well, maybe except when Spike was, again, too busy taking care of Dru, but even then the vampire still tried to spend time with my friend by coming to school the next day. So yeah, they were together all the time and them not being together for more than one day made me think that something was up.

 

But Spike not spending time with Xander was not the only reason why I believed that he was avoiding Buffy, because even Angel, who abhorred his existence in our group, let out that the bleached vampire hadn’t joined them for patrol for quite some time and was wondering if something had happened to him.

 

Of course, because of Angel's comments, Buffy would then tell us that Spike was probably busy and would sometimes dissuade us from going to his place to check if he was alright. She'd find some reason for us not to go and disturb him, like telling us it was the middle of the day and vamps slept during the day or she'd tell us about how we should focus on the more important things and that Spike was a grown vamp, who could take care of himself. She'd practically say just about anything just to make sure that we didn’t go to check on Spike, or at least to make sure that she didn't have to check on him.

 

So like I said, he was avoiding her and she was avoiding him. And this observation only fueled my suspicions even more.

 

**Finally, reason number three and the last of my reasons why I believed something had happened between the two of them that night, was that _Buffy was still dating Angel._**

 

If there was anything in this world that would have made me believe that something had happened, it was the fact, that I knew that before Halloween Buffy had decided to end things with Angel. She told me that he was an awful boyfriend and that she didn't think it was wise of her to continue a relationship with him, especially since she barely knew the guy because he always kept secrets from her. She told me that her relationship with Angel was making her unhappy, so ending it while she wasn't too vested in it was the wisest thing to do, and I went all bestfriendy on her and totally supported her on it.

 

Her plan was that after escorting the kids home, she'd meet up with Angel to tell him that she wanted to end things with him before she'd go and meet up with us at that Bronze, where she was finally going to ask Spike out on a date. It was due to this said plan that Buffy had decided to dress up as a Slayer, because according to a book that we, let’s say, borrowed from Giles’ private collection, Spike had a thing for Slayers. He’d had a sexual relationship with one back in the seventies. There were also a few other entries about various trysts with other Slayers over the years before that. Thus Buffy and I concluded that he was strongly attracted to Slayers.

 

After reading this, she thought that the reason Spike hadn’t done anything with her yet, aside from flirting, was because she always seemed to hate being a Slayer and often, if not, she complained about her destiny to him, so he must had thought that she wasn't taking this Slayer thing seriously. So she chose to dressup in this sexy leathery attire, bought a plastic stake, because really what was a costume without something fake in it, and finally acted out what she thought was a Slayer persona, aka she had this bossy-dominatrix thing going on as she talked to us that night.

 

It had worked fantastically of course, because when we met up with Spike and Xander that night, both guys were practically drooling and speechless after seeing my friend's appearance. Actually, that was the first time I’d seen Spike openly show any attraction to Buffy.

 

Oh, I didn’t tell you, did I? Well, I had this very sneaky suspicion that Spike has a crush on Buffy, because one, he was always being really considerate of Buffy even though she sometimes acted like a Cordelia towards him. Two, he always followed what Buffy said even though Giles and Angel would say she was wrong and that she should listen to them. Spike always made a point to tell everyone that Buffy was the Slayer and thus she was the leader so her ideas should be heard and it was her decisions that were supposed to be final and if she made a mistake, then it was their job to still support her and not put her down for it. Spike said that Buffy was supposed to learn from her mistakes and how else was she supposed to do so if she wasn't allowed to make any?

 

Spike always defending Buffy passionately was among the reasons why I thought he was attracted to her. Because really--Any guy who would go move heaven and the moon, or in this case—poopyheads Angel and Giles, for a woman, must be at the very least attracted to said woman to risk getting into an argument with those two. But most importantly and finally, the real reason why I thought he had a crush on my best friend was that I had seen the way he looked at her. It was the same kind of look my bubby Frau gave my nana Lucil whenever she'd do something that bubby thought was adorable, and Spike gave her that look, along with another one, which I could only call a look of awe and amazement. Spike directed these looks whenever Buffy did something really heroic or dressed up in something really nice for another certain souled vampire or just say something really funny and so typically Buffy, and then bam! He'd look at her like that and I would think that he was thinking that my friend was the most amazing and most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

 

Sadly, Buffy never seemed to notice these looks because she was always too busy looking at Angel and waiting for what that poopyhead had to say, so Spike always had time to school his features before he'd talk to her and thus she never saw the way he looked at her.

 

But that night, on Halloween, on Buffy's porch? She finally saw Spike looking at her that way. She finally saw him admiring her. So I couldn't be blamed that I thought that by the end of the night a new couple would be born, right?

 

Then that evil spell happened and poof—no more possibility of a Spike and Buffy, only the suddenly sickly sweet relationship between Buffy and Angel. Ugh! The two of them were together again and were going stronger because Angel was now always showing his big forehead at the library or at the Bronze and was doing the full blown boyfriend thing to the fullest. In fact, he even bought her flowers once! Which would have been romantic, if Buffy wasn't the one who told him to do so.

 

Anyway, it was awful seeing this happen. Not because I thought Buffy shouldn't try to teach her boyfriend how to be—well, a boyfriend, but more because it was obvious that Buffy was no longer in love with Angel, or even remotely attracted to him, yet she was forcing herself to be happy when he was around and forcing the relationship to go on when she, herself, obviously wanted it to end.

 

And that is why I thought that something terrible had happened that night, because why else would my friend sacrifice her happiness and force herself to do those things when before that night she was so focused on finding those things in another vampire instead? The Buffy I knew wouldn't have doubted her decision, unless Giles or Angel or her mother told her otherwise, and I know that all three of them never once told her she was wrong with her decision to be with Spike because she only told me about that little plan of hers. So the only reason I could think of about why she changed her mind was that something had happened to show Buffy that having a relationship with Spike was of the badness, and that something obviously happened last Halloween.

 

And so that is why I was there, standing outside the Summers residence, with an overnight bag on one shoulder and my school bag on the other, because tonight I planned to get my answers from my friend. Buffy has been hiding the truth for far too long and so I was getting ready to show her my infamous resolve face to get the answers I clearly deserved as her official best friend.

 

I knocked at her door and was allowed inside by her mother, who was surprised by my visit.

 

And well, I, of course, couldn't really blame her, I did sort of invite myself there without hers or Buffy's permission, because I didn't want my best friend to have an excuse to say no and avoid me.

 

Mrs. Summers was, as always, welcoming. Although I did feel guilty when she scolded Buffy for not telling her I was coming over, I shook that feeling off immediately and planned to apologize later, after I got my answers. Anyway, after dinner we helped Mrs. Summers clean the table before the two of us were excused to finally go Buffy's room and do our sleepover thing that night. I went inside the room first and waited for Buffy to finish locking up her door before approaching and cornering her.

 

"Alright, we're alone now, so spill, Buffy, because I am not leaving until you tell me what happened between you and Spike that night."

 

I had my resolve face on and I was determined to get my answers before the night ended.

 

**(O.O)**

**Buffy**

 

_I knew it was too good to be true._

 

One week. One week of peace and no one questioning me about what happened that night. One full week of living in the famous river in Egypt and letting myself forget that it had happened. One week of successfully diverting conversations about that night. And one full week of trying so hard not to cry over what I did to the man I was beginning to have feelings for. It was both a reprieve and torture to have that week before someone finally noticed something was wrong and asked me the most dreaded question: "What happened that night?"

 

_What happened indeed?_

 

It should not have come to a surprised to me that it was Willow who was the one to finally notice something was wrong, because, really, she was the only one I had told about my plan to break up with Angel and ask Spike out on that same night. So when I didn't break up with my broody vampire boyfriend and started avoiding the other vampire, she was bound to be suspicious. My only regret was that I had not prepared myself for the inevitable questioning she was most certainly going to do. That explained my sudden fear upon seeing her in my house and then later when she cornered me in my room, and asked me about what happened.

 

I merely stared at my friend, still not certain if I should really tell her about it. But she continued to look back at me with that determined look and I could feel my resolve dwindling. My stubbornness was the only thing stopping me from blurting everything out. So when Willow gave me that hurt expression and accused me of not trusting her, I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

 

Tears burst from my eyes as I hugged my best friend and told her the horror of what I'd done; how I did it and what happened afterwards. I could feel her tensing at the parts of how much I hurt Spike up until the part where I forced myself on him. I used up everything I had within me just to try and stop myself from walking away from her, out of my room and out of the house. When I finished my tale, I let go of my friend and looked down at the floor. I was afraid to face whatever look she would give me after my confession. I waited and grew nervous at the possibility of her ill judgment of me and her rejection.

 

But then Willow surprised me, because instead of rejection or disgust or even hate, she took me back into her arms.

 

"Ooh, Buffy, I am so sorry," she said as she gently rubbed my back.

 

Those words were enough to send a new wave of tears from me.

 

Did I deserve it? The kindness? The sympathy? No, I didn't think so. But I needed it so badly. So I held Willow in return and cried as much as I could but as quietly as possible just so I wouldn't let my mother hear us from downstairs. I cried while Willow continued to pat my back and just let me do so. My tears didn't stop and I didn't let it. I had been holding back since the night it happened and it felt good to get them out.

 

I continued to cry until finally I had no more tears to shed and only shallow sobs escaped from my lips. I let go of my friend and began wiping my eyes with my hands.

 

"Thank you, Wills. You have no idea how long I wanted to do that," I told her.

 

"You mean get snot on my shoulders? Well, you’re welcome then," she joked but I knew she was trying to lighten the mood.

 

And it worked. A short laugh escaped from me and I gave another grateful smile to my best friend. "Yeah, that too. But mostly I needed the entire crying thing in general."

 

"Yeah, well, I am happy to help, Buffy," she said with a smile before it slowly disappeared from her lips, telling me that joke time was over and it was time to really face the music. "Buffy, it wasn't--" she started but I didn't let her finish.

 

"No, Wills, it was," I told her, knowing full well what she was going tosay.

 

"No, it wasn't! You were under a spell but Spike, he--"

 

"Did everything in his power to protect me from his demon! You saw how badly hurt he was! You saw what I did to him! I broke his hand, Will, and nearly tore off his shoulder! He had bruises all over his body and his face! So don't you dare blame it on him!"

 

"But he wasn't the one under the influence of a spell, Buffy, you were! You were the one not acting yourself that night!"

 

"Well, that's the thing, Wills. I was acting like myself. That night I didn't just turn into someone else, I turned into another part of me. The Slayer that took over my body that night? Well, she's me. Or at least a part of me. I have her inside me. And the things she did to Spike? I wanted to do them too, well--maybe not the hurting him part. But the claiming? And the sex thing? Ooh, boy, did I really want it," I confessed, “Still do, if I have to be honest.”

 

"Bu-but--" Willow started, all while blushing profusely.

 

"As unbelievable as it may sound, I am not a saint. I have these—urges, been having these urges to do stuff to Spike that I never thought I would do to anyone, especially considering my age and lack of experience. But I can't help what I feel, nor can I help what I want. It's inside of me, Will, always has been and Spike? Well, he's the object of its desires. Even now, I want nothing more than to go to his place and finish the claiming ritual with him," I told my friend while I started pacing inside my room. "But at the same time, I just want to hang out with him, talk to him, and have him be my friend again, like he was before the incident. And I can't have that anymore. I can't! Oh, God! You should've seen the look on his face when he came to his senses and saw himself having sex with me! He looked so horrified and practically screamed at me to stay away from him! And I--and I--oh, Will, it was terrible.

 

I hugged my friend yet again and cried once more in her arms. A few minutes of me crying my eyes out and snot dripping from my nose later, I finally calmed down and released my hold on her. I looked up and she still had that troubled look on her face, making me believe that she didn't understand me at all and was still probably thinking that everything was Spike's fault, which really wasn't.

 

I opened my mouth to once again try to make her understand why she shouldn't blame Spike but she stopped me when she suddenly told me "Why don't you go and see him?”

 

"Huh?" I asked dumbly, not fully understanding what she meant. When her words finally sunk in, a strong feeling of panic overtook me. "Will! You know I can't! Weren't you listening? I said that he was afraid of me! He was terrified when the spell broke and he found himself having sex with me! If I showed up--"

 

"He'll let you in, Buffy," she said with complete certainty, "In fact, he'll even let you explain everything. And all you really need to do is show up and talk to him."

 

_Why was she so sure that he would let me in? Why was she so sure that he would talk to me in the first place? I hurt him. Forced myself on him. Would he really still want anything to do with me_

 

_Of course he would. He is our mate after all._ The voice of the Slayer answered, whispering deep in my mind.

 

I shook it off and continued to look at my redheaded friend.

 

"Willow, I don't think he would. He hates m-"

 

"He doesn't hate you, Buffy. I'm sure of it!" Willow said, again with confidence and certainty in her voice.

 

"But how? How can you be so sure that he doesn't hate me? That he'd even want to see me? After everything I did to him, even I wouldn't want to see me. So how can you say that?"

 

"Because it's Spike," was my friend's firm answer. "Buffy, you said so yourself, he knows you pretty well. He knows exactly what you're thinking and knows exactly what to say to make you feel better. Don't you think he'd know that it wasn't all you that night?"

 

"But that's the thing it w--"

 

"But he doesn't know that, does he? All he knows of that night was that you were under a spell and you became your Slayer-self. You had no control over what happened and you are not to blame for everything that transpired. And knowing Spike? He never blamed you in the first place."

 

 

"But why is he avoiding me? Why did he look so horrified of what happened? Why didn't he want me to touch him?"

 

"Buffy, did it ever occur to you that he wasn't afraid of you but of himself and what he has done to you?"

 

"What?!" I asked, looking horrified at what my friend just implied. "But-but he didn't do anything! He didn't want to do anything! He--"

 

"Still did the deed, Buffy. And he woke up—you know, doing the deed. Do you really think--knowing Spike, that he'd blame you for what happened instead of blaming himself? He may have been a victim of what happened, in your opinion, but to him? He'd think it was all his fault. After all, it was _his demon_ that did it with your Slayer-half. He wouldn't deny it. So wouldn't you think that the reason he hasn't been seeing you or any of us is because he doesn't want to know what our reactions were to what he's done, or more specifically what his demon had done?"

 

"I—I never thought of that... Oh, God, Will! What if that's the real reason for why he hasn't shown himself?! What if he thinks I blame him for everything?!"

 

"Then I guess one of you should really go to the other and explain things better."

 

I immediately hugged my friend, thanking her for her advice, before rushing to my wardrobe in search of anything to wear to go to Spike's. After dressing up, I moved to the window and opened it.

 

_Best I sneak out here than downstairs where mom can ask me questions._

 

I climbed out but not before giving Will an apologetic look.

 

"Hey, no worries. I only came here to get answers and talk some sense into you. I've already done that and now all you have to do is get your man," she said, winking at me suggestively.

 

I blinked back the tears of happiness that were threatening to fall from my eyes and squished down the urge to run and hug her again.

 

"Thank you, Willow. You really are the best. I promise when this thing between Spike and me is cleared we'll have an actual sleep over and then you can start planning on getting you a hottie of your own," This time it was my turn to wink at her suggestively and I laughed at how red my best friend’s face turned.

 

"Do-do-don’t think that’s really necessary," she stuttered earning her another good chuckle from me, before I finally jumped down the window into the newly mowed grass of my front yard.

 

After that, I immediately ran towards the one place I had been avoiding for days, to see the one person I've been trying to forget since that Halloween night happened. And as I drew closer to my destination I prayed to any gods who might be listening, that things would turn out okay before the end of the night.

 

_Because I really, really wanted things to go back to how they used to be._

**(O.O)**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter End Notes:  
> And that is it! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to leave a review before you leave!v They fuel my muse and get me to update faster! Thank you and see you in the next chapter! Bye for now!


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